the secrets of the princesse de cadignan-第3节

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〃Then　are　you　like　me；　my　dear？〃　asked　the　marquise；　〃have　you　never

felt　the　emotion　of　love　while　trying　to　love？〃



〃Never；〃　replied　the　princess；　laying　her　hand　on　the　arm　of　her

friend。



They　turned　and　seated　themselves　on　a　rustic　bench　beneath　a　jasmine

then　coming　into　flower。　Each　had　uttered　one　of　those　sayings　that

are　solemn　to　women　who　have　reached　their　age。



〃Like　you；〃　resumed　the　princess；　〃I　have　received　more　love　than　most

women；　but　through　all　my　many　adventures；　I　have　never　found

happiness。　I　committed　great　follies；　but　they　had　an　object；　and　that

object　retreated　as　fast　as　I　approached　it。　I　feel　to…day　in　my

heart；　old　as　it　is；　an　innocence　which　has　never　been　touched。　Yes；

under　all　my　experience；　lies　a　first　love　intact；just　as　I　myself；

in　spite　of　all　my　losses　and　fatigues；　feel　young　and　beautiful。　We

may　love　and　not　be　happy；　we　may　be　happy　and　never　love；　but　to　love

and　be　happy；　to　unite　those　two　immense　human　experiences；　is　a

miracle。　That　miracle　has　not　taken　place　for　me。〃



〃Nor　for　me；〃　said　Madame　d'Espard。



〃I　own　I　am　pursued　in　this　retreat　by　dreadful　regret：　I　have　amused

myself　all　through　life；　but　I　have　never　loved。〃



〃What　an　incredible　secret！〃　cried　the　marquise。



〃Ah！　my　dear；〃　replied　the　princess；　〃such　secrets　we　can　tell　to

ourselves；　you　and　I；　but　nobody　in　Paris　would　believe　us。〃



〃And；〃　said　the　marquise；　〃if　we　were　not　both　over　thirty…six　years

of　age；　perhaps　we　would　not　tell　them　to　each　other。〃



〃Yes；　when　women　are　young　they　have　so　many　stupid　conceits；〃　replied

the　princess。　〃We　are　like　those　poor　young　men　who　play　with　a

toothpick　to　pretend　they　have　dined。〃



〃Well；　at　any　rate；　here　we　are！〃　said　Madame　d'Espard；　with

coquettish　grace；　and　a　charming　gesture　of　well…informed　innocence；

〃and；　it　seems　to　me；　sufficiently　alive　to　think　of　taking　our

revenge。〃



〃When　you　told　me；　the　other　day；　that　Beatrix　had　gone　off　with

Conti；　I　thought　of　it　all　night　long；〃　said　the　princess；　after　a

pause。　〃I　suppose　there　was　happiness　in　sacrificing　her　position；　her

future；　and　renouncing　society　forever。〃



〃She　was　a　little　fool；〃　said　Madame　d'Espard；　gravely。　〃Mademoiselle

des　Touches　was　delighted　to　get　rid　of　Conti。　Beatrix　never　perceived

how　that　surrender；　made　by　a　superior　woman　who　never　for　a　moment

defended　her　claims；　proved　Conti's　nothingness。〃



〃Then　you　think　she　will　be　unhappy？〃



〃She　is　so　now；〃　replied　Madame　d'Espard。　〃Why　did　she　leave　her

husband？　What　an　acknowledgment　of　weakness！〃



〃Then　you　think　that　Madame　de　Rochefide　was　not　influenced　by　the

desire　to　enjoy　a　true　love　in　peace？〃　asked　the　princess。



〃No；　she　was　simply　imitating　Madame　de　Beausant　and　Madame　de

Langeais；　who；　be　it　said；　between　you　and　me；　would　have　been；　in　a

less　vulgar　period　than　ours；　the　La　Villiere；　the　Diane　de　Poitiers；

the　Gabrielle　d'Estrees　of　history。〃



〃Less　the　king；　my　dear。　Ah！　I　wish　I　could　evoke　the　shades　of　those

women；　and　ask　them〃



〃But；〃　said　the　marquise；　interrupting　the　princess；　〃why　ask　the

dead？　We　know　living　women　who　have　been　happy。　I　have　talked　on　this

very　subject　a　score　of　times　with　Madame　de　Montcornet　since　she

married　that　little　Emile　Blondet；　who　makes　her　the　happiest　woman　in

the　world；　not　an　infidelity；　not　a　thought　that　turns　aside　from　her；

they　are　as　happy　as　they　were　the　first　day。　These　long　attachments；

like　that　of　Rastignac　and　Madame　de　Nucingen；　and　your　cousin；　Madame

de　Camps；　for　her　Octave；　have　a　secret；　and　that　secret　you　and　I

don't　know；　my　dear。　The　world　has　paid　us　the　extreme　compliment　of

thinking　we　are　two　rakes　worthy　of　the　court　of　the　regent；　whereas

we　are；　in　truth；　as　innocent　as　a　couple　of　school…girls。〃



〃I　should　like　that　sort　of　innocence；〃　cried　the　princess；　laughing；

〃but　ours　is　worse；　and　it　is　very　humiliating。　Well；　it　is　a

mortification　we　offer　up　in　expiation　of　our　fruitless　search；　yes；

my　dear；　fruitless；　for　it　isn't　probable　we　shall　find　in　our　autumn

season　the　fine　flower　we　missed　in　the　spring　and　summer。〃



〃That's　not　the　question；〃　resumed　the　marquise；　after　a　meditative

pause。　〃We　are　both　still　beautiful　enough　to　inspire　love；　but　we

could　never　convince　any　one　of　our　innocence　and　virtue。〃



〃If　it　were　a　lie；　how　easy　to　dress　it　up　with　commentaries；　and

serve　it　as　some　delicious　fruit　to　be　eagerly　swallowed！　But　how　is

it　possible　to　get　a　truth　believed？　Ah！　the　greatest　of　men　have　been

mistaken　there！〃　added　the　princess；　with　one　of　those　meaning　smiles

which　the　pencil　of　Leonardo　da　Vinci　alone　has　rendered。



〃Fools　love　well；　sometimes；〃　returned　the　marquise。



〃But　in　this　case；〃　said　the　princess；　〃fools　wouldn't　have　enough

credulity　in　their　nature。〃



〃You　are　right；〃　said　the　marquise。　〃But　what　we　ought　to　look　for　is

neither　a　fool　nor　even　a　man　of　talent。　To　solve　our　problem　we　need

a　man　of　genius。　Genius　alone　has　the　faith　of　childhood；　the　religion

of　love；　and　willingly　allows　us　to　band　its　eyes。　Look　at　Canalis　and

the　Duchesse　de　Chaulieu！　Though　we　have　both　encountered　men　of

genius；　they　were　either　too　far　removed　from　us　or　too　busy；　and　we

too　absorbed；　too　frivolous。〃



〃Ah！　how　I　wish　I　might　not　leave　this　world　without　knowing　the

happiness　of　true　love；〃　exclaimed　the　princess。



〃It　is　nothing　to　inspire　it；〃　said　Madame　d'Espard；　〃the　thing　is　to

feel　it。　I　see　many　women　who　are　only　the　pretext　for　a　passion

without　being　both　its　cause　and　its　effect。〃



〃The　last　love　I　inspired　was　a　beautiful　and　sacred　thing；〃　said　the

princess。　〃It　had　a　future　in　it。　Chance　had　brought　me；　for　once　in　a

way；　the　man　of　genius　who　is　due　to　us；　and　yet　so　difficult　to

obtain；　there　are　more　pretty　women　than　men　of　genius。　But　the　devil

interfered　with　the　affair。〃



〃Tell　me　about　it；　my　dear；　this　is　all　news　to　me。〃



〃I　first　noticed　this　beautiful　passion　about　the　middle　of　the　winter

of　1829。　Every　Friday；　at　the　opera；　I　observed　a　young　man；　about

thirty　years　of　age；　in　the　orchestra　stalls；　who　evidently　came　there

for　me。　He　was　always　in　the　same　stall；　gazing　at　me　with　eyes　of

fire；　but；　seemingly；　saddened　by　the　distance　between　us；　perhaps　by

the　hopelessness　of　reaching　me。〃



〃Poor　fellow！　When　a　man　loves　he　becomes　eminently　stupid；〃　said　the

marquise。



〃Between　every　act　he　would　slip　into　the　corridor；〃　continued　the

princess；　smiling　at　her　friend's　epigrammatic　remark。　〃Once　or　twice；

either　to　see　me　or　to　make　me　see　him；　he　looked　through　the　glass

sash　of　the　box　exactly　opposite　to　mine。　If　I　received　a　visit；　I　was

certain　to　see　him　in　the　corridor　close　to　my　door；　casting　a　furtive

glance　upon　me。　He　had　apparently　learned　to　know　the　persons

belonging　to　my　circle；　and　he　followed　them　when　he　saw　them　turning

in　the　direction　of　my　box；　in　order　to　obtain　the　benefit　of　the

opening　door。　I　also　found　my　mysterious　adorer　at　the　Italian　opera…

house；　there　he　had　a　stall　directly　opposite　to　my　box；　where　he

could　gaze　at　me　in　naive　ecstasyoh！　it　was　pretty！　On　leaving

either　house　I　always　found　him　planted　in　the　lobby；　motionless；　he

was　elbowed　and　jostled；　but　he　never　moved。　His　eyes　grew　less

brilliant　if　he　saw　me　on　the　arm　of　some　favorite。　But　not　a　word；

not　a　letter；　no　demonstration。　You　must　acknowledge　that　was　in　good

taste。　Sometimes；　on　getting　home　late　at　night；　I　found　him　sitting

upon　one　of　the　stone　posts　of　the　porte…cochere。　This　lover　of　mine

had　very　handsome　eyes；　a　long；　thick；　fan…shaped　beard；　with　a

moustache　and　side…whiskers；　nothing　could　be　seen　of　his　skin　but　his

white　cheek…bones；　and　a　noble　forehead；　it　was　truly　an　antique　head。

The　prince；　as　you　know；　defended　the　Tuileries　on　the　riverside；

during　the　July　days。　He　returned　to　Saint…Cloud　that　night；　when　all

was　lost；　and　said　to　me：　'I　came　near　being　killed　at　four　o'clock。　I

was　aimed　at　by　one　of　the　insurgents；　when　a　young　man；　with　a　long

beard；　whom　I　have　often　seen　at　the　opera；　and　who　was　leading　the

attack；　threw　up　the　man's　gun；　and　saved　me。'　So　my　adorer　was

evidently　a　republican！　In　1831；　after　I　came　to　lodge　in　this　house；

I　found　him；　one　day；　leaning　with　his　back　against　the　wall　of　it；　he

seemed　pleased　with　my　disasters；　possibly　he　may　have　thought　they

drew　us　nearer　together。　But　after　the　affair　of　Saint…Merri　I　saw　him

no　more；　he　was　killed　there。　The　evening　before　the　funeral　of

General　Lamarque；　I　had　gone　out　on　foot　with　my　son；　and　my

republican　accompanied　us；　sometimes　behind；　sometimes　in　front；　from

the　Madeleine　to　the　Passage　des　Panoramas；　where　I　was　going。〃



〃Is　that　all？〃　asked　the　marquise。



〃Yes；　all；〃　replied　the　princess。　〃Except　that　on　the　morning　Saint…

Merri　was　taken；　a　gamin　came　here　and　insisted　on