bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第272节
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walk in the sunshine with him； honouring his grey head； and
saying to himself； ‘I thank God this is my father！ ruined by a fatal
inheritance； and restored through me！’”
O； my sweet girl； what a heart was that which beat so fast
against me！
“These hopes uphold me； my dear Esther； and I know they will。
Though sometimes even they depart from me； before a dread that
arises when I look at Richard。”
I tried to cheer my darling； and asked her what it was？ Sobbing
and weeping； she replied：—
“That he may not live to see his child。”
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Chapter 61
A Discovery
he days when I frequented that miserable corner which
my dear girl brightened； can never fade in my
T
remembrance。 I never see it； and I never wish to see it；
now； I have been there only once since； but in my memory there is
a mournful glory shining on the place； which will shine forever。
Not a day passed； without my going there； of course。 At first I
found Mr Skimpole there； on two or three occasions； idly playing
the piano； and talking in his usual vivacious strain。 Now； besides
my very much mistrusting the probability of his being there
without making Richard poorer； I felt as if there were something
in his careless gaiety； too inconsistent with what I knew of the
depths of Ada’s life。 I clearly perceived； too； that Ada shared my
feelings。 I therefore resolved； after much thinking of it； to make a
private visit to Mr Skimpole； and try delicately to explain myself。
My dear girl was the great consideration that made me bold。
I set off one morning； accompanied by Charley； for Somers
Town。 As I approached the house； I was strongly inclined to turn
back； for I felt what a desperate attempt it was to make an
impression on Mr Skimpole； and how extremely likely it was that
he would signally defeat me。 However； I thought that being there；
I would go through with it。 I knocked with a trembling hand at Mr
Skimpole’s door—literally with a hand； for the knocker was
gone—and after a long parley gained admission from an
Irishwoman； who was in the area when I knocked； breaking up the
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Bleak House 1134
lid of a water…bucket with a poker to light the fire with。
Mr Skimpole； lying on the sofa in his room； playing the flute a
little； was enchanted to see me。 Now； who should receive me； he
asked？ Who would I prefer for mistress of the ceremonies？ Would
I have his Comedy daughter； his Beauty daughter； or his
Sentiment daughter？ Or would I have all the daughters at once； in
a perfect nosegay？
I replied； half defeated already； that I wished to speak to
himself only； if he would give me leave。
“My dear Miss Summerson； most joyfully！ Of course；” he said；
bringing his chair near mine； and breaking into his fascinating
smile； “of course it’s not business。 Then it’s pleasure！”
I said it certainly was not business that I came upon； but it was
not quite a pleasant matter。
“Then； my dear Miss Summerson；” said he； with the frankest
gaiety； “don’t allude to it。 Why should you allude to anything that
is not a pleasant matter？ I never do。 And you are a much
pleasanter creature； in every point of view； than I。 You are
perfectly pleasant； I am imperfectly pleasant； then； if I never
allude to an unpleasant matter； how much less should you！ So；
that’s disposed of； and we will talk of something else。”
Although I was embarrassed； I took courage to intimate that I
still wished to pursue the subject。
“I should think it a mistake；” said Mr Skimpole； with his airy
laugh； “if I thought Miss Summerson capable of making one。 But I
don’t！”
“Mr Skimpole；” said I； raising my eyes to his； “I have so often
heard you say that you are unacquainted with the common affairs
of life—”
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“Meaning our three banking…house friends； L； S； and who’s the
junior partner？ D？” said Mr Skimpole； brightly。 “Not an idea of
them！”
“—That； perhaps；” I went on； “you will excuse my boldness on
that account。 I think you ought most seriously to know that
Richard is poorer than he was。”
“Dear me！” said Mr Skimpole。 “So am I； they tell me。”
“And in very embarrassed circumstances。”
“Parallel case exactly！” said Mr Skimpole； with a delighted
countenance。
“This at present naturally causes Ada much secret anxiety； and
as I think she is less anxious when no claims are made upon her
by visitors； and as Richard has one uneasiness always heavy on his
mind； it has occurred to me to take the liberty of saying that—if
you would—not—” I was coming to the point with great difficulty；
when he took me by both hands； and； with a radiant face and in
the liveliest way； anticipated it。
“Not go there？ Certainly not； my dear Miss Summerson； most
assuredly not。 Why should I go there？ When I go anywhere； I go
for pleasure。 I don’t go anywhere for pain； because I was made for
pleasure。 Pain comes to me when it wants me。 Now I have had
very little pleasure at our dear Richard’s； lately； and your practical
sagacity demonstrates why。 Our young friends； losing the youthful
poetry which was once so captivating in them； begin to think； ‘this
is a man who wants pounds。’ So I am； I always want pounds； not
for myself； but because tradespeople always want them of me。
Next； our young friends begin to think； becoming mercenary； ‘this
is the man who had pounds；—who borrowed them；’ which I did。 I
always borrow pounds。 So our young friends； reduced to prose
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（which is much to be regretted）； degenerate in their power of
imparting pleasure to me。 Why should I go to see them therefore？
Absurd！”
Through the beaming smile with which he regarded me； as he
reasoned thus； there now broke forth a look of disinterested
benevolence quite astonishing。
“Besides；” he said； pursuing his argument； in his tone of light…
hearted conviction； “if I don’t go anywhere for pain—which would
be a perversion of the intention of my being； and a monstrous
thing to do—why should I go anywhere to be the cause of pain？ If
I went to see our young friends in their present ill…regulated state
of mind； I should give them pain。 The associations with me would
be disagreeable。 They might say； ‘this is the man who had pounds；
and who can’t pay pounds；’ which I can’t； of course； nothing could
be more out of the question！ Then； kindness requires that I
shouldn’t go near them—and I won’t。”
He finished by genially kissing my hand； and thanking me。
Nothing but Miss Summerson’s fine tact； he said； would have
found this out for him。
I was much disconcerted； but I reflected that if the main point
were gained； it mattered little how strangely he perverted
everything leading to it。 I had determined to mention something
else； however； and I thought I was not to be put off in that。
“Mr Skimpole；” said I； “I must take the liberty of saying； before
I conclude my visit； that I was much surprised to learn； on the best
authority； some little time ago； that you knew with whom that poor
boy left Bleak House； and that you accepted a present on that
occasion。 I have not mentioned
