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第7节

half a life-time ago-第7节

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week or two; and give her time to come to her senses。  She'll not

find it so easy as she thinks to let me go。〃



So he went past the kitchen…window in nonchalant style; and was not

seen again at Yew Nook for some weeks。  How did he pass the time?

For the first day or two; he was unusually cross with all things and

people that came athwart him。  Then wheat…harvest began; and he was

busy; and exultant about his heavy crop。  Then a man came from a

distance to bid for the lease of his farm; which; by his father's

advice; had been offered for sale; as he himself was so soon likely

to remove to the Yew Nook。  He had so little idea that Susan really

would remain firm to her determination; that he at once began to

haggle with the man who came after his farm; showed him the crop just

got in; and managed skilfully enough to make a good bargain for

himself。  Of course; the bargain had to be sealed at the public…

house; and the companions he met with there soon became friends

enough to tempt him into Langdale; where again he met with Eleanor

Hebthwaite。



How did Susan pass the time?  For the first day or so; she was too

angry and offended to cry。  She went about her household duties in a

quick; sharp; jerking; yet absent way; shrinking one moment from

Will; overwhelming him with remorseful caresses the next。  The third

day of Michael's absence; she had the relief of a good fit of crying;

and after that; she grew softer and more tender; she felt how harshly

she had spoken to him; and remembered how angry she had been。  She

made excuses for him。  〃It was no wonder;〃 she said to herself; 〃that

he had been vexed with her; and no wonder he would not give in; when

she had never tried to speak gently or to reason with him。  She was

to blame; and she would tell him so; and tell him once again all that

her mother had bade her to be to Willie; and all the horrible stories

she had heard about madhouses; and he would be on her side at once。〃



And so she watched for his coming; intending to apologise as soon as

ever she saw him。  She hurried over her household work; in order to

sit quietly at her sewing; and hear the first distant sound of his

well…known step or whistle。  But even the sound of her flying needle

seemed too loudperhaps she was losing an exquisite instant of

anticipation; so she stopped sewing; and looked longingly out through

the geranium leaves; in order that her eye might catch the first stir

of the branches in the wood…path by which he generally came。  Now and

then a bird might spring out of the covert; otherwise the leaves were

heavily still in the sultry weather of early autumn。  Then she would

take up her sewing; and; with a spasm of resolution; she would

determine that a certain task should be fulfilled before she would

again allow herself the poignant luxury of expectation。  Sick at

heart was she when the evening closed in; and the chances of that day

diminished。  Yet she stayed up longer than usual; thinking that if he

were comingif he were only passing along the distant roadthe

sight of a light in the window might encourage him to make his

appearance even at that late hour; while seeing the house all

darkened and shut up might quench any such intention。



Very sick and weary at heart; she went to bed; too desolate and

despairing to cry; or make any moan。  But in the morning hope came

afresh。  Another dayanother chance!  And so it went on for weeks。

Peggy understood her young mistress's sorrow full well; and respected

it by her silence on the subject。  Willie seemed happier now that the

irritation of Michael's presence was removed; for the poor idiot had

a sort of antipathy to Michael; which was a kind of heart's echo to

the repugnance in which the latter held him。  Altogether; just at

this time; Willie was the happiest of the three。



As Susan went into Coniston; to sell her butter; one Saturday; some

inconsiderate person told her that she had seen Michael Hurst the

night before。  I said inconsiderate; but I might rather have said

unobservant; for any one who had spent half…an…hour in Susan Dixon's

company might have seen that she disliked having any reference made

to the subjects nearest her heart; were they joyous or grievous。  Now

she went a little paler than usual (and she had never recovered her

colour since she had had the fever); and tried to keep silence。  But

an irrepressible pang forced out the question …



〃Where?〃



〃At Thomas Applethwaite's; in Langdale。  They had a kind of harvest…

home; and he were there among the young folk; and very thick wi'

Nelly Hebthwaite; old Thomas's niece。  Thou'lt have to look after him

a bit; Susan!〃



She neither smiled nor sighed。  The neighbour who had been speaking

to her was struck with the gray stillness of her face。  Susan herself

felt how well her self…command was obeyed by every little muscle; and

said to herself in her Spartan manner; 〃I can bear it without either

wincing or blenching。〃  She went home early; at a tearing; passionate

pace; trampling and breaking through all obstacles of briar or bush。

Willie was moping in her absencehanging listlessly on the farm…yard

gate to watch for her。  When he saw her; he set up one of his

strange; inarticulate cries; of which she was now learning the

meaning; and came towards her with his loose; galloping run; head and

limbs all shaking and wagging with pleasant excitement。  Suddenly she

turned from him; and burst into tears。  She sat down on a stone by

the wayside; not a hundred yards from home; and buried her face in

her hands; and gave way to a passion of pent…up sorrow; so terrible

and full of agony were her low cries; that the idiot stood by her;

aghast and silent。  All his joy gone for the time; but not; like her

joy; turned into ashes。  Some thought struck him。  Yes! the sight of

her woe made him think; great as the exertion was。  He ran; and

stumbled; and shambled home; buzzing with his lips all the time。  She

never missed him。  He came back in a trice; bringing with him his

cherished paper windmill; bought on that fatal day when Michael had

taken him into Kendal to have his doom of perpetual idiocy

pronounced。  He thrust it into Susan's face; her hands; her lap;

regardless of the injury his frail plaything thereby received。  He

leapt before her to think how he had cured all heart…sorrow; buzzing

louder than ever。  Susan looked up at him; and that glance of her sad

eyes sobered him。  He began to whimper; he knew not why:  and she

now; comforter in her turn; tried to soothe him by twirling his

windmill。  But it was broken; it made no noise; it would not go

round。  This seemed to afflict Susan more than him。  She tried to

make it right; although she saw the task was hopeless; and while she

did so; the tears rained down unheeded from her bent head on the

paper toy。



〃It won't do;〃 said she; at last。  〃It will never do again。〃  And;

somehow; she took the accident and her words as omens of the love

that was broken; and that she feared could never be pieced together

more。  She rose up and took Willie's hand; and the two went slowly

into the house。



To her surprise; Michael Hurst sat in the house…place。  House…place

is a sort of better kitchen; where no cookery is done; but which is

reserved for state occasions。  Michael had gone in there because he

was accompanied by his only sister; a woman older than himself; who

was well married beyond Keswick; and who now came for the first time

to make acquaintance with Susan。  Michael had primed his sister with

his wishes regarding Will; and the position in which he stood with

Susan; and arriving at Yew Nook in the absence of the latter; he had

not scrupled to conduct his sister into the guest…room; as he held

Mrs。 Gale's worldly position in respect and admiration; and therefore

wished her to be favourably impressed with all the signs of property

which he was beginning to consider as Susan's greatest charms。  He

had secretly said to himself; that if Eleanor Hebthwaite and Susan

Dixon were equal in point of riches; he would sooner have Eleanor by

far。  He had begun to consider Susan as a termagant; and when he

thought of his intercourse with her; recollections of her somewhat

warm and hasty temper came far more readily to his mind than any

remembrance of her generous; loving nature。



And now she stood face to face with him; her eyes tear…swollen; her

garments dusty; and here and there torn in consequence of her rapid

progress through the bushy by…paths。  She did not make a favourable

impression on the well…clad Mrs。 Gale; dressed in her best silk gown;

and therefore unusually susceptible to the appearance of another。

Nor were Susan's manners gracious or cordial。  How could they be;

when she remembered what had passed between Michael and herself the

last time they met?  For her penitence had faded away under the daily

disappointment of these last weary weeks。



But she was h

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