half a life-time ago-第4节
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Michael； though active enough； was too thoughtless； old Daniel said；
to be trusted with the entire management of a farm。 Meanwhile； his
father would look about him； and see after all the farms that were to
be let。
Michael had a shrewd notion of this preliminary understanding between
the fathers； and so felt less daunted than he might otherwise have
done at making the application for Susan's hand。 It was all right；
there was not an obstacle； only a deal of good advice； which the
lover thought might have as well been spared； and which it must be
confessed he did not much attend to； although he assented to every
part of it。 Then Susan was called down stairs； and slowly came
dropping into view down the steps which led from the two family
apartments into the house…place。 She tried to look composed and
quiet； but it could not be done。 She stood side by side with her
lover； with her head drooping； her cheeks burning； not daring to look
up or move； while her father made the newly…betrothed a somewhat
formal address in which he gave his consent； and many a piece of
worldly wisdom beside。 Susan listened as well as she could for the
beating of her heart； but when her father solemnly and sadly referred
to his own lost wife； she could keep from sobbing no longer； but
throwing her apron over her face； she sat down on the bench by the
dresser； and fairly gave way to pent…up tears。 Oh； how strangely
sweet to be comforted as she was comforted； by tender caress； and
many a low…whispered promise of love！ Her father sat by the fire；
thinking of the days that were gone； Willie was still out of doors；
but Susan and Michael felt no one's presence or absencethey only
knew they were together as betrothed husband and wife。
In a week； or two； they were formally told of the arrangements to be
made in their favour。 A small farm in the neighbourhood happened to
fall vacant； and Michael's father offered to take it for him； and be
responsible for the rent for the first year； while William Dixon was
to contribute a certain amount of stock； and both fathers were to
help towards the furnishing of the house。 Susan received all this
information in a quiet； indifferent way； she did not care much for
any of these preparations； which were to hurry her through the happy
hours； she cared least of all for the money amount of dowry and of
substance。 It jarred on her to be made the confidante of occasional
slight repinings of Michael's； as one by one his future father…in…law
set aside a beast or a pig for Susan's portion； which were not always
the best animals of their kind upon the farm。 But he also complained
of his own father's stinginess； which somewhat； though not much；
alleviated Susan's dislike to being awakened out of her pure dream of
love to the consideration of worldly wealth。
But in the midst of all this bustle； Willie moped and pined。 He had
the same chord of delicacy running through his mind that made his
body feeble and weak。 He kept out of the way； and was apparently
occupied in whittling and carving uncouth heads on hazel…sticks in an
out…house。 But he positively avoided Michael； and shrunk away even
from Susan。 She was too much occupied to notice this at first。
Michael pointed it out to her； saying； with a laugh； …
〃Look at Willie！ he might be a cast…off lover and jealous of me； he
looks so dark and downcast at me。〃 Michael spoke this jest out loud；
and Willie burst into tears； and ran out of the house。
〃Let me go。 Let me go！〃 said Susan （for her lover's arm was round
her waist）。 〃I must go to him if he's fretting。 I promised mother I
would！〃 She pulled herself away； and went in search of the boy。 She
sought in byre and barn； through the orchard； where indeed in this
leafless winter…time there was no great concealment； up into the room
where the wool was usually stored in the later summer； and at last
she found him； sitting at bay； like some hunted creature； up behind
the wood…stack。
〃What are ye gone for； lad； and me seeking you everywhere？〃 asked
she； breathless。
〃I did not know you would seek me。 I've been away many a time； and
no one has cared to seek me；〃 said he； crying afresh。
〃Nonsense；〃 replied Susan； 〃don't be so foolish； ye little good…for…
nought。〃 But she crept up to him in the hole he had made underneath
the great； brown sheafs of wood； and squeezed herself down by him。
〃What for should folk seek after you； when you get away from them
whenever you can？〃 asked she。
〃They don't want me to stay。 Nobody wants me。 If I go with father；
he says I hinder more than I help。 You used to like to have me with
you。 But now； you've taken up with Michael； and you'd rather I was
away； and I can just bide away； but I cannot stand Michael jeering at
me。 He's got you to love him and that might serve him。〃
〃But I love you； too； dearly； lad！〃 said she； putting her arm round
his neck。
〃Which on us do you like best？〃 said he； wistfully； after a little
pause； putting her arm away； so that he might look in her face； and
see if she spoke truth。
She went very red。
〃You should not ask such questions。 They are not fit for you to ask；
nor for me to answer。〃
〃But mother bade you love me！〃 said he； plaintively。
〃And so I do。 And so I ever will do。 Lover nor husband shall come
betwixt thee and me； ladne'er a one of them。 That I promise thee
（as I promised mother before）； in the sight of God and with her
hearkening now； if ever she can hearken to earthly word again。 Only
I cannot abide to have thee fretting； just because my heart is large
enough for two。〃
〃And thou'lt love me always？〃
〃Always； and ever。 And the morethe more thou'lt love Michael；〃
said she； dropping her voice。
〃I'll try；〃 said the boy； sighing； for he remembered many a harsh
word and blow of which his sister knew nothing。 She would have risen
up to go away； but he held her tight； for here and now she was all
his own； and he did not know when such a time might come again。 So
the two sat crouched up and silent； till they heard the horn blowing
at the field…gate； which was the summons home to any wanderers
belonging to the farm； and at this hour of the evening； signified
that supper was ready。 Then the two went in。
CHAPTER II。
Susan and Michael were to be married in April。 He had already gone
to take possession of his new farm； three or four miles away from Yew
Nookbut that is neighbouring； according to the acceptation of the
word in that thinly…populated district；when William Dixon fell ill。
He came home one evening； complaining of head…ache and pains in his
limbs； but seemed to loathe the posset which Susan prepared for him；
the treacle…posset which was the homely country remedy against an
incipient cold。 He took to his bed with a sensation of exceeding
weariness； and an odd； unusual looking…back to the days of his youth；
when he was a lad living with his parents； in this very house。
The next morning he had forgotten all his life since then； and did
not know his own children； crying； like a newly…weaned baby； for his
mother to come and soothe away his terrible pain。 The doctor from
Coniston said it was the typhus…fever； and warned Susan of its
infectious character； and shook his head over his patient。 There
were no near friends to come and share her anxiety； only good； kind
old Peggy； who was faithfulness itself； and one or two labourers'
wives； who would fain have helped her； had not their hands been tied
by their responsibility to their own families。 But； somehow； Susan
neither feared nor flagged。 As for fear； indeed； she had no time to
give way to it； for every energy of both body and mind was required。
Besides； the young have had too little experience of the danger of
infection to dread it much。 She did indeed wish； from time to time；
that Michael had been at home to have taken Willie over to his
father's at High Beck； but then； again； the lad was docile and useful
to her； and his fecklessness in many things might make him harshly
treated by strangers； so； perhaps； it was as well that Michael was
away at Appleby fair； or even beyond thatgone into Yorkshire after
horses。
Her father grew worse； and the doctor insisted on sending over a
nurse from Coniston。 Not a professed nurseConiston could not have
supported such a one； but a widow who was ready to go where the
doctor sent her for the sake of the payment。 When she came； Susan
suddenly gave way； she was felled by the fever herself； and lay
unconscious for long weeks。 Her consciousness returned to her one
spring afternoon； early spring： April；her wedding…month。 There
was a little fire burning in the small corner…grate； and the
flickering of the blaze was enough for her to notice in her weak
state。 She felt that there was some one sitting on the window…side
of her bed； behind the curtain； but she di
