half a life-time ago-第3节
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must needs cry out like a stuck pig if one touches him;〃 replied
Michael; sullenly。
Susan went back to the window…seat; and looked absently out of the
window at the drifting clouds for a minute or two; while her eyes
filled with tears。 Then she got up and made for the outer door which
led into the back…kitchen。 Before she reached it; however; she heard
a low voice; whose music made her thrill; say …
〃Susan; Susan!〃
Her heart melted within her; but it seemed like treachery to her poor
boy; like faithlessness to her dead mother; to turn to her lover
while the tears which he had caused to flow were yet unwiped on
Will's cheeks。 So she seemed to take no heed; but passed into the
darkness; and; guided by the sobs; she found her way to where Willie
sat crouched among the disused tubs and churns。
〃Come out wi' me; lad;〃 and they went out into the orchard; where the
fruit…trees were bare of leaves; but ghastly in their tattered
covering of gray moss: and the soughing November wind came with long
sweeps over the fells till it rattled among the crackling boughs;
underneath which the brother and sister sat in the dark; he in her
lap; and she hushing his head against her shoulder。
〃Thou should'st na' play wi' fire。 It's a naughty trick。 Thoul't
suffer for it in worse ways nor this before thou'st done; I'm
afeared。 I should ha' hit thee twice as lungeous kicks as Mike; if
I'd been in his place。 He did na' hurt thee; I am sure;〃 she
assumed; half as a question。
〃Yes but he did。 He turned me quite sick。〃 And he let his head fall
languidly down on his sister's breast。
〃Come; lad! come; lad!〃 said she anxiously。 〃Be a man。 It was not
much that I saw。 Why; when first the red cow came she kicked me far
harder for offering to milk her before her legs were tied。 See thee!
here's a peppermint…drop; and I'll make thee a pasty to…night; only
don't give way so; for it hurts me sore to think that Michael has
done thee any harm; my pretty。〃
Willie roused himself up; and put back the wet and ruffled hair from
his heated face; and he and Susan rose up; and hand…in…hand went
towards the house; walking slowly and quietly except for a kind of
sob which Willie could not repress。 Susan took him to the pump and
washed his tear…stained face; till she thought she had obliterated
all traces of the recent disturbance; arranging his curls for him;
and then she kissed him tenderly; and led him in; hoping to find
Michael in the kitchen; and make all straight between them。 But the
blaze had dropped down into darkness; the wood was a heap of gray
ashes in which the sparks ran hither and thither; but even in the
groping darkness Susan knew by the sinking at her heart that Michael
was not there。 She threw another brand on the hearth and lighted the
candle; and sat down to her work in silence。 Willie cowered on his
stool by the side of the fire; eyeing his sister from time to time;
and sorry and oppressed; he knew not why; by the sight of her grave;
almost stern face。 No one came。 They two were in the house alone。
The old woman who helped Susan with the household work had gone out
for the night to some friend's dwelling。 William Dixon; the father;
was up on the fells seeing after his sheep。 Susan had no heart to
prepare the evening meal。
〃Susy; darling; are you angry with me?〃 said Willie; in his little
piping; gentle voice。 He had stolen up to his sister's side。 〃I
won't never play with the fire again; and I'll not cry if Michael
does kick me。 Only don't look so like dead motherdon'tdon't
please don't!〃 he exclaimed; hiding his face on her shoulder。
〃I'm not angry; Willie;〃 said she。 〃Don't be feared on me。 You want
your supper; and you shall have it; and don't you be feared on
Michael。 He shall give reason for every hair of your head that he
toucheshe shall。〃
When William Dixon came home he found Susan and Willie sitting
together; hand…in…hand; and apparently pretty cheerful。 He bade them
go to bed; for that he would sit up for Michael; and the next
morning; when Susan came down; she found that Michael had started an
hour before with the cart for lime。 It was a long day's work; Susan
knew it would be late; perhaps later than on the preceding night;
before he returnedat any rate; past her usual bed…time; and on no
account would she stop up a minute beyond that hour in the kitchen;
whatever she might do in her bed…room。 Here she sat and watched till
past midnight; and when she saw him coming up the brow with the
carts; she knew full well; even in that faint moonlight; that his
gait was the gait of a man in liquor。 But though she was annoyed and
mortified to find in what way he had chosen to forget her; the fact
did not disgust or shock her as it would have done many a girl; even
at that day; who had not been brought up as Susan had; among a class
who considered it no crime; but rather a mark of spirit; in a man to
get drunk occasionally。 Nevertheless; she chose to hold herself very
high all the next day when Michael was; perforce; obliged to give up
any attempt to do heavy work; and hung about the out…buildings and
farm in a very disconsolate and sickly state。 Willie had far more
pity on him than Susan。 Before evening; Willie and he were fast;
and; on his side; ostentatious friends。 Willie rode the horses down
to water; Willie helped him to chop wood。 Susan sat gloomily at her
work; hearing an indistinct but cheerful conversation going on in the
shippon; while the cows were being milked。 She almost felt irritated
with her little brother; as if he were a traitor; and had gone over
to the enemy in the very battle that she was fighting in his cause。
She was alone with no one to speak to; while they prattled on
regardless if she were glad or sorry。
Soon Willie burst in。 〃Susan! Susan! come with me; I've something
so pretty to show you。 Round the corner of the barnrun! run!〃 (He
was dragging her along; half reluctant; half desirous of some change
in that weary day。 Round the corner of the barn; and caught hold of
by Michael; who stood there awaiting her。
〃O Willie!〃 cried she 〃you naughty boy。 There is nothing pretty
what have you brought me here for? Let me go; I won't be held。〃
〃Only one word。 Nay; if you wish it so much; you may go;〃 said
Michael; suddenly loosing his hold as she struggled。 But now she was
free; she only drew off a step or two; murmuring something about
Willie。
〃You are going; then?〃 said Michael; with seeming sadness。 〃You
won't hear me say a word of what is in my heart。〃
〃How can I tell whether it is what I should like to hear?〃 replied
she; still drawing back。
〃That is just what I want you to tell me; I want you to hear it and
then to tell me whether you like it or not。〃
〃Well; you may speak;〃 replied she; turning her back; and beginning
to plait the hem of her apron。
He came close to her ear。
〃I'm sorry I hurt Willie the other night。 He has forgiven me。 Can
you?〃
〃You hurt him very badly;〃 she replied。 〃But you are right to be
sorry。 I forgive you。〃
〃Stop; stop!〃 said he; laying his hand upon her arm。 〃There is
something more I've got to say。 I want you to be mywhat is it they
call it; Susan?〃
〃I don't know;〃 said she; half…laughing; but trying to get away with
all her might now; and she was a strong girl; but she could not
manage it。
〃You do。 Mywhat is it I want you to be?〃
〃I tell you I don't know; and you had best be quiet; and just let me
go in; or I shall think you're as bad now as you were last night。〃
〃And how did you know what I was last night? It was past twelve when
I came home。 Were you watching? Ah; Susan! be my wife; and you
shall never have to watch for a drunken husband。 If I were your
husband; I would come straight home; and count every minute an hour
till I saw your bonny face。 Now you know what I want you to be。 I
ask you to be my wife。 Will you; my own dear Susan?〃
She did not speak for some time。 Then she only said 〃Ask father。〃
And now she was really off like a lapwing round the corner of the
barn; and up in her own little room; crying with all her might;
before the triumphant smile had left Michael's face where he stood。
The 〃Ask father〃 was a mere form to be gone though。 Old Daniel Hurst
and William Dixon had talked over what they could respectively give
their children before this; and that was the parental way of
arranging such matters。 When the probable amount of worldly gear
that he could give his child had been named by each father; the young
folk; as they said; might take their own time in coming to the point
which the old men; with the prescience of experience; saw they were
drifting to; no need to hurry them; for they were both young; and
Michael; though active enough; was too thoughtless; old Daniel said;
to be trusted with the entire mana