tommy and co[1].(托米和科)-第45节
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〃I shall miss him；〃 said Peter； 〃I know I shall。〃
〃Miss whom？〃 demanded Tommy。
〃Danvers；〃 sighed Peter。 〃It always happens so。 You get friendly
with a man； then he goes awayabroad； back to America； Lord knows
where。 You never see him again。〃
Tommy looked up。 There was trouble in her face。
〃How do you spell 'harassed'？〃 questioned Tommy！ 〃two r's or one。〃
〃One r；〃 Peter informed her； 〃two s's。〃
〃I thought so。〃 The trouble passed from Tommy's face。
〃You don't ask when he's going； you don't ask where he's going；〃
complained Peter。 〃You don't seem to be interested in the least。〃
〃I was going to ask； so soon as I had finished correcting this sheet；〃
explained Tommy。 〃What reason does he give？〃
Peter had crossed over and was standing where he could see her face
illumined by the lamplight。
〃It doesn't upset youthe thought of his going away； of your never
seeing him again？〃
〃Why should it？〃 Tommy answered his searching gaze with a
slightly puzzled look。 〃Of course； I'm sorry。 He was becoming useful。
But we couldn't expect him to stop with us always； could we？〃
Peter； rubbing his hands； broke into a chuckle。 〃I told him 'twas all
fiddlesticks。 Clodd； he would have it you were growing to care for the
fellow。〃
〃For Dick Danvers？〃 Tommy laughed。 〃Whatever put that into his
head？〃
〃Oh； well； there were one or two little things that we had noticed。〃
〃We？〃
〃I mean that Clodd had noticed。〃
I'm glad it was Clodd that noticed them； not you； dad； thought
Tommy to herself。 They'd have been pretty obvious if you had noticed
them。
〃It naturally made me anxious；〃 confessed Peter。 〃You see； we know
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absolutely nothing of the fellow。〃
〃Absolutely nothing；〃 agreed Tommy。
〃He may be a man of the highest integrity。 Personally； I think he is。
I like him。 On the other hand； he may be a thorough…paced scoundrel。
I don't believe for a moment that he is； but he may be。 Impossible to
say。〃
〃Quite impossible；〃 agreed Tommy。
〃Considered merely as a journalist； it doesn't matter。 He writes well。
He has brains。 There's an end of it。〃
〃He is very painstaking；〃 agreed Tommy。
〃Personally；〃 added Peter； 〃I like the fellow。〃 Tommy had returned
to her work。
Of what use was Peter in a crisis of this kind？ Peter couldn't scold。
Peter couldn't bully。 The only person to talk to Tommy as Tommy
knew she needed to be talked to was one Jane； a young woman of
dignity with sense of the proprieties。
〃I do hope that at least you are feeling ashamed of yourself；〃
remarked Jane to Tommy that same night； as the twain sat together in
their little bedroom。
〃Done nothing to be ashamed of；〃 growled Tommy。
〃Making a fool of yourself openly； for everybody to notice。〃
〃Clodd ain't everybody。 He's got eyes at the back of his head。
Sees things before they happen。〃
〃Where's your woman's pride： falling in love with a man who has
never spoken to you； except in terms of the most ordinary courtesy。〃
〃I'm not in love with him。〃
〃A man about whom you know absolutely nothing。〃
〃Not in love with him。〃
〃Where does he come from？ Who is he？〃
〃I don't know； don't care； nothing to do with me。〃
〃Just because of his soft eyes； and his wheedling voice； and that half…
caressing； half…devotional manner of his。 Do you imagine he keeps it
specially for you？ I gave you credit for more sense。〃
〃I'm not in love with him； I tell you。 He's down on his luck； and
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I'm sorry for him； that's all。〃
〃And if he is； whose fault was it； do you think？〃
〃It doesn't matter。 We are none of us saints。 He's trying to pull
himself together； and I respect him for it。 It's our duty to be charitable
and kind to one another in this world！〃
〃Oh； well； I'll tell you how you can be kind to him： by pointing out
to him that he is wasting his time。 With his talents； now that he knows
his business； he could be on the staff of some big paper； earning a good
income。 Put it nicely to him； but be firm。 Insist on his going。 That
will be showing true kindness to himand to yourself； too； I'm thinking；
my dear。〃
And Tommy understood and appreciated the sound good sense
underlying Jane's advice； and the very next day but one； seizing the first
opportunity； acted upon it； and all would have gone as contemplated if
only Dick Danvers had sat still and listened； as it had been arranged in
Tommy's programme that he should。
〃But I don't want to go；〃 said Dick。
〃But you ought to want to go。 Staying here with us you are doing
yourself no good。〃
He rose and came to where she stood with one foot upon the fender；
looking down into the fire。 His doing this disconcerted her。 So long
as he remained seated at the other end of the room； she was the sub…
editor； counselling the staff for its own good。 Now that she could not
raise her eyes without encountering his； she felt painfully conscious of
being nothing more important than a little woman who was trembling。
〃It is doing me all the good in the world；〃 he told her； 〃being near to
you。〃
〃Oh； please do sit down again；〃 she urged him。 〃I can talk to you
so much better when you're sitting down。〃
But he would not do anything he should have done that day。 Instead
he took her hands in his； and would not let them go； and the reason and
the will went out of her； leaving her helpless。
〃Let me be with you always；〃 he pleaded。 〃It means the difference
between light and darkness to me。 You have done so much for me。
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Will you not finish your work？ Will you not trust me？ It is no hot
passion that can pass away； my love for you。 It springs from all that is
best in mefrom the part of me that is wholesome and joyous and strong；
the part of me that belongs to you。〃
Releasing her； he turned away。
〃The other part of methe blackguardit is dead； dear；dead and
buried。 I did not know I was a blackguard； I thought myself a fine
fellow； till one day it came home to me。 Suddenly I saw myself as I
really was。 And the sight of the thing frightened me and I ran away
from it。 I said to myself I would begin life afresh； in a new country；
free of every tie that could bind me to the past。 It would mean poverty…
…privation； maybe； in the beginning。 What of that？ The struggle
would brace me。 It would be good sport。 Ah； well； you can guess the
result： the awakening to the cold facts； the reaction of feeling。 In
what way was I worse than other men？ Who was I； to play the prig in a
world where others were laughing and dining？ I had tramped your city
till my boots were worn into holes。 I had but to abandon my quixotic
idealsreturn to where shame lay waiting for me； to be welcomed with
the fatted calf。 It would have ended so had I not chanced to pass by
your door that afternoon and hear you strumming on the piano。〃
So Billy was right； after all； thought Tommy to herself； the pia
