tommy and co[1].(托米和科)-第25节
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termination of a pretty and somewhat novel romance。 Miss
Ramsbotham had shown no sign of being attracted elsewhere。 Flattery；
compliment； she continued to welcome； but merely； so it seemed； as
favourable criticism。 Suitors more fit and proper were now not lacking；
for Miss Ramsbotham； though a woman less desirable when won； came
readily to the thought of wooing。 But to all such she turned a laughing
face。
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〃I like her for it；〃 declared Susan Fossett； 〃and he has improved there
was room for itthough I wish it could have been some other。 There
was Jack Herringit would have been so much more suitable。 Or even
Joe； in spite of his size。 But it's her wedding； not ours； and she will
never care for anyone else。〃
And Bohemia bought its presents； and had them ready； but never gave
them。 A few months later Mr。 Reginald Peters returned to Canada； a
bachelor。 Miss Ramsbotham expressed her desire for another private
interview with Peter Hope。
〃I may as well keep on the Letter to Clorinda；〃 thought Miss
Ramsbotham。 〃I have got into the knack of it。 But I will get you to
pay me for it in the ordinary way。〃
〃I would rather have done so from the beginning；〃 explained Peter。
〃I know。 I could not in conscience； as I told you； take from both
sides。 For the futurewell； they have said nothing； but I expect they
are beginning to get tired of it。〃
〃And you！〃 questioned Peter。
〃Yes。 I am tired of it myself；〃 laughed Miss Ramsbotham。 〃Life
isn't long enough to be a well…dressed woman。〃
〃You have done with all that？〃
〃I hope so；〃 answered Miss Ramsbotham。
〃And don't want to talk any more about it？〃 suggested Peter。
〃Not just at present。 I should find it so difficult to explain。〃
By others； less sympathetic than old Peter； vigorous attempts were
made to solve the mystery。 Miss Ramsbotham took enjoyment in
cleverly evading these tormentors。 Thwarted at every point； the
gossips turned to other themes。 Miss Ramsbotham found interest once
again in the higher branches of her calling； became again； by slow
degrees； the sensible； frank； 'good sort' that Bohemia had known； liked；
respectedeverything but loved。
Years later； to Susan Fossett； the case was made clear； and through
Susan Fossett； a nice enough woman but talkative； those few still
interested learned the explanation。
〃Love；〃 said Miss Ramsbotham to the bosom friend； 〃is not regulated
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by reason。 As you say； there were many men I might have married
with much more hope of happiness。 But I never cared for any other
man。 He was not intellectual； was egotistical； possibly enough selfish。
The man should always be older than the woman； he was younger； and
he was a weak character。 Yet I loved him。〃
〃I am glad you didn't marry him；〃 said the bosom friend。
〃So am I；〃 agreed Miss Ramsbotham。
〃If you can't trust me；〃 had said the bosom friend at this point；
〃don't。〃
〃I meant to do right；〃 said Miss Ramsbotham； 〃upon my word of
honour I did； in the beginning。〃
〃I don't understand；〃 said the bosom friend。
〃If she had been my own child；〃 continued Miss Ramsbotham； 〃I
could not have done morein the beginning。 I tried to teach her； to put
some sense into her。 Lord！ the hours I wasted on that little idiot！ I
marvel at my own patience。 She was nothing but an animal。 An
animal！ she had only an animal's vices。 To eat and drink and sleep was
her idea of happiness； her one ambition male admiration； and she hadn't
character enough to put sufficient curb upon her stomach to retain it。 I
reasoned with her； I pleaded with her； I bullied her。 Had I persisted I
might have succeeded by sheer physical and mental strength in
restraining her from ruining herself。 I was winning。 I had made her
frightened of me。 Had I gone on； I might have won。 By dragging her
out of bed in the morning； by insisting upon her taking exercise； by
regulating every particle of food and drink she put into her mouth； I kept
the little beast in good condition for nearly three months。 Then； I had
to go away into the country for a few days； she swore she would obey
my instructions。 When I came back I found she had been in bed most
of the time； and had been living chiefly on chocolate and cakes。 She
was curled up asleep in an easy…chair； snoring with her mouth wide open；
when I opened the door。 And at sight of that picture the devil came to
me and tempted me。 Why should I waste my time； wear myself out in
mind and body； that the man I loved should marry a pig because it
looked like an angel？ 'Six months' wallowing according to its own
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desires would reveal it in its true shape。 So from that day I left it to
itself。 No； worse than that… …I don't want to spare myselfI encouraged
her。 I let her have a fire in her bedroom； and half her meals in bed。 I
let her have chocolate with tablespoonfuls of cream floating on the top：
she loved it。 She was never really happy except when eating。 I let
her order her own meals。 I took a fiendish delight watching the dainty
limbs turning to shapeless fat； the pink…and…white complexion growing
blotchy。 It is flesh that man loves； brain and mind and heart and soul！
he never thinks of them。 This little pink…and…white sow could have cut
me out with Solomon himself。 Why should such creatures have the
world arranged for them； and we not be allowed to use our brains in our
own defence？ But for my looking…glass I might have resisted the
temptation； but I always had something of the man in me： the sport of
the thing appealed to me。 I suppose it was the nervous excitement
under which I was living that was changing me。 All my sap was going
into my body。 Given sufficient time； I might meet her with her own
weapons； animal against animal。 Well； you know the result： I won。
There was no doubt about his being in love with me。 His eyes would
follow me round the room； feasting on me。 I had become a fine animal。
Men desired me； Do you know why I refused him？ He was in every
way a better man than the silly boy I had fallen in love with； but he came
back with a couple of false teeth： I saw the gold setting one day when
he opened his mouth to laugh。 I don't say for a moment； my dear； there
is no such thing as lovelove pure； ennobling； worthy of men and
women； its roots in the heart and nowhere else。 But that love I had
missed； and the other！ I saw it in its true light。 I had fallen in love
with him because he was a pretty； curly…headed boy。 He had fallen in
love with Peggy when she was pink…and…white and slim。 I shall always
see the look that came into his eyes when she spoke to him at the hotel；
the look of disgust and loathing。 The girl was the same； it was only
her body that had grown older。 I could
