a new england girlhood-第35节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
We came to regard Wayland's 〃Moral Science〃 （our text…book） as most interesting reading； and it furnished us with many subjects for thought and for social discussion。
Carlyle's 〃Hero…Worship〃 brought us a startling and keen enjoyment。 It was lent me by a Dartmouth College student； the brother of one of my room…mates； soon after it was first published in this country。 The young man did not seem to know exactly what to think of it； and wanted another reader's opinion。 Few persons could have welcomed those early writings of Carlyle more enthusiastically than some of us working…girls did。 The very ruggedness of the sentences had a fascination for us； like that of climbing over loose bowlders in a mountain scramble to get sight of a wonderful landscape。
My room…mate； the student's sister； was the possessor of an electrifying new poem；〃Festus；〃that we sat up nights to read。 It does not seem as if it could be more than forty years since Sarah and I looked up into each other's face from the page as the lamplight grew dim； and said； quoting from the poem；
〃Who can mistake great thoughts？〃
She gave me the volume afterwards； when we went West together； and I have it still。 Its questions and conjectures were like a glimpse into the chaos of our own dimly developing inner life。 The fascination of 〃Festus〃 was that of wonder； doubt； and dissent； with great outbursts of an overmastering faith sweeping over our minds as we read。 Some of our friends thought it not quite safe reading； but we remember it as one of the inspirations of our workaday youth。
We read books； also； that bore directly upon the condition of humanity in our time。 〃The Glory and Shame of England〃 was one of them； and it stirred us with a wonderful and painful interest。
We followed travelers and explorers；Layard to Nineveh； and Stephens to Yucatan。 And we were as fond of good story…books as any girls that live in these days of overflowing libraries。 One book； a character…picture from history； had a wide popularity in those days。 It is a pity that it should be unfamiliar to modern girlhood；Ware's 〃Zenobia。〃 The Queen of Palmyra walked among us； and held a lofty place among our ideals of heroic womanhood； never yet obliterated from admiring remembrance。
We had the delight of reading Frederika Bremer's 〃Home〃 and 〃Neighbors〃 when they were fresh from the fountains of her own heart； and some of us must not be blamed for feeling as if no tales of domestic life half so charming have been written since。 Perhaps it is partly because the home…life of Sweden is in itself so delightfully unique。
We read George Borrow's 〃Bible in Spain；〃 and wandered with him among the gypsies to whom he seemed to belong。 I have never forgotten a verse that this strange traveler picked up somewhere among the Zincali：
〃I'll joyfully labor； both night and day； To aid my unfortunate brothers； As a laundress tans her own face in the ray To cleanse the garments of others。〃
It suggested a somewhat similar verse to my own mind。 Why should not our washerwoman's work have its touch of poetry also？
This thought flashed by like a ray of light That brightened my homely labor： The water is making my own hands white While I wash the robes of my neighbor。
And how delighted we were with Mrs。 Kirkland's 〃A New Home： Who'll Follow？〃 the first real Western book I ever read。 Its genuine pioneer…flavor was delicious。 And； moreover； it was a prophecy to Sarah； Emilie； and myself； who were one day thankful enough to find an 〃Aunty Parshall's dish…kettle〃 in a cabin on an Illinois prairie。
So the pleasantly occupied years slipped on； I still nursing my purpose of a more systematic course of study； though I saw no near possibility of its fulfillment。 It came in an unexpected way； as almost everything worth having does come。 I could never have dreamed that I was going to meet my opportunity nearly or quite a thousand miles away； on the banks of the Mississippi。 And yet； with that strange； delightful consciousness of growth into a comprehension of one's self and of one's life that most young persons must occasionally have experienced； I often vaguely felt heavens opening for my half…fledged wings to try themselves in。 Things about me were good and enjoyable； but I could not quite rest in them； there was more for me to be； to know； and to do。 I felt almost surer of the future than of the present。
If the dream of the millennium which brightened the somewhat sombre close of the first ten years of my life had faded a little； out of the very roughnesses of the intervening road light had been kindled which made the end of the second ten years glow with enthusiastic hope。 I had early been saved from a great mistake； for it is the greatest of mistakes to begin life with the expectation that it is going to be easy； or with the wish to have it so。 What a world it would be； if there were no hills to climb！ Our powers were given us that we might conquer obstacles； and clear obstructions from the overgrown human path； and grow strong by striving； led onward always by an Invisible Guide。
Life to me； as I looked forward； was a bright blank of mystery； like the broad Western tracts of our continent； which in the atlases of those days bore the title of 〃Unexplored Regions。〃 It was to be penetrated； struggled through； and its difficulties were not greatly dreaded； for I had not lost
〃The dream of Doing； The first bound in the pursuing。〃
I knew that there was no joy like the joy of pressing forward。
XII。
FROM THE MERRIMACK TO THE MISSISSIPPI。
THE years between 1835 and 1845； which nearly cover the time I lived at Lowell； seem to me； as I look back at them； singularly interesting years。 People were guessing and experimenting and wondering and prophesying about a great many things；about almost everything。 We were only beginning to get accustomed to steamboats and railroads。 To travel by either was scarcely less an adventure to us younger ones than going up in a balloon。
Phrenology was much talked about； and numerous 〃professors〃 of it came around lecturing； and examining heads； and making charts of cranial 〃bumps。〃 This was profitable business to them for a while； as almost everybody who invested in a 〃character〃 received a good one； while many very commonplace people were flattered into the belief that they were geniuses； or might be if they chose。
Mesmerism followed close upon phrenology； and this too had its lecturers； who entertained the stronger portion of their audiences by showing them how easily the weaker ones could be brought under an uncanny influence。
The most widespread delusion of the time was Millerism。 A great many personsand yet not so many that I knew even one of them believed that the end of the world was coming in the year 1842； though the date was postponed from year to year； as the prophesy failed of fulfillment。 The idea in itself was almost too serious to be jested about； and yet its advocates made it so literal a matter that it did look very ridiculous to unbelievers。
An irreverent little workmate of mine in the spinning…room made a string of jingling couplets about it； like this：
〃Oh dear！ oh dear！ what shall we do In eighteen hundred and forty…two？
〃Oh dear！ oh dear！ where shall we be In eighteen hundred and forty…three？
〃Oh dear！ oh dear！ we shall be no more In eighteen hundred and forty…four；
〃Oh dear！ oh dear！ we sha'n't be alive In eighteen hundred and forty…five。〃
I thought it audacious in her； since surely she and all of us were aware that the world would come to an end some time； in some way； for every one of us。 I said to myself that I could not have 〃made up〃 those rhymes。 Nevertheless we all laughed at them together。
A comet appeared at about the time of the Miller excitement； and also a very unusual illumination of sky and earth by the Aurora Borealis。 This latter occurred in midwinter。 The whole heavens were of a deep rose…coloralmost crimsonreddest at the zenith； and paling as it radiated towards the horizon。 The snow was fresh on the ground； and that； too； was of a brilliant red。 Cold as it was； windows were thrown up all around us for people to look out at the wonderful sight。 I was gazing with the rest； and listening to exclamations of wonder from surrounding unseen beholders； when somebody shouted from far down the opposite block of buildings； with startling effect；
〃You can't stand the fire In that great day！〃
It was the refrain of a Millerite hymn。 The Millerites believed that these signs in the sky were omens of the approaching catastrophe。 And it was said that some of them did go so far as to put on white 〃ascension robes；〃 and assemble somewhere； to wait for the expected hour。
When daguerreotypes were first made； when we heard that the sun was going to take everybody's portrait； it seemed almost too great a marvel to be believed。 While it was yet only a rumor that such a thing had been done； somewhere across the sea； I saw some verses about it which impressed me much； but which I only partly remember。 These were the opening lines： 〃Oh； what if thus our evil deeds Are mirrored on the sky； And every line of our wild lives Daguerreotyped on high！〃
My sister and I considered it quite an event when we went to have ou
