a new england girlhood-第21节
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beguiling the irksomeness of our task by telling stories and guessing riddles。
It was hardest for me to leave the garret and the garden。 In the old houses the garret was the children's castle。 The rough rafters；it was always ail unfinished room； otherwise not a true garret；the music of the rain on the roof； the worn sea…chests with their miscellaneous treasures； the blue…roofed cradle that had sheltered ten blue…eyed babies； the tape…looms and reels and spinning wheels； the herby smells； and the delightful dream corners；these could not be taken with us to the new home。 Wonderful people had looked out upon us from under those garret… eaves。 Sindbad the Sailor and Baron Munchausen had sometimes strayed in and told us their unbelievable stories； and we had there made acquaintance with the great Caliph Haroun Alraschid。
To go away from the little garden was almost as bad。 Its lilacs and peonies were beautiful to me； and in a corner of it was one tiny square of earth that I called my own； where I was at liberty to pull up my pinks and lady's delights every day； to see whether they had taken root； and where I could give my lazy morning…glory seeds a poke； morning after morning； to help them get up and begin their climb。 Oh； I should miss the garden very much indeed！
It did not take long to turn over the new leaf of our home experience。 One sunny day three of us children； my youngest sister； my brother John； and I； took with my mother the first stage…coach journey of our lives； across Lynnfield plains and over Andover hills to the banks of the Merrimack。 We were set down before an empty house in a yet unfinished brick block； where we watched for the big wagon that was to bring our household goods。
It came at last； and the novelty of seeing our old furniture settled in new rooms kept us from being homesick。 One after another they appeared；bedsteads； chairs； tables； and； to me most welcome of all； the old mahogany secretary with brass… handled drawers； that had always stood in the 〃front room〃 at home。 With it came the barrel full of books that had filled its shelves； and they took their places as naturally as if they had always lived in this strange town。
There they all stood again side by side on their shelves； the dear； dull； good old volumes that all my life I had tried in vain to take a sincere Sabbath…day interest in；Scott's Commentaries on the Bible； Hervey's 〃Meditations；〃 Young's 〃Night Thouhts；〃 〃Edwards on the Affections；〃 and the Writings of Baxter and Doddridge。 Besides these； there were bound volumes of the 〃Repository Tracts；〃 which I had read and re…read； and the delightfully miscellaneous 〃Evangelicana；〃 containing an account of Gilbert Tennent's wonderful trance； also the 〃History of the Spanish Inquisition；〃 with some painfully realistic illus… trations； a German Dictionary； whose outlandish letters and words I liked to puzzle myself over； and a descriptive History of Hamburg； full of fine steel engravingswhich last two or three volumes my father had brought with him from the countries to which be had sailed in his sea…faring days。 A complete set of the 〃Missionary Herald〃；〃 unbound； filled the upper shelves。
Other familiar articles journeyed with us： the brass…headed shovel and tongs； that it had been my especial task to keep bright； the two card…tables （which were as unacquainted as ourselves with ace； face； and trump）； the two china mugs； with their eighteenth…century lady and gentleman figurines curiosities brought from over the sea； and reverently laid away by my mother with her choicest relics in the secretary…desk； my father's miniature； painted in Antwerp； a treasure only shown occasionally to us children as a holiday treat； and my mother's easy…chair；I should have felt as if I had lost her； had that been left behind。 The earliest unexpressed ambition of my infancy had been to grow up and wear a cap； and sit in an easy…chair knitting and look comfortable just as my mother did。
Filled up with these things； the little one…windowed sitting…room easily caught the home feeling； and gave it back to us。 Inanimate Objects do gather into themselves something of the character of those who live among them； through association； and this alone makes heirlooms valuable。 They are family treasures； because they are part of the family life； full of memories and inspirations。 Bought or sold； they are nothing but old furniture。 Nobody can buy the old associations； and nobody who has really felt how everything that has been in a home makes part of it； can willing… ly bargain away the old things。
My mother never thought of disposing of her best furniture； whatever her need。 It traveled with her in every change of her abiding…place； as long as she lived； so that to us children home seemed to accompany her wherever she went。 And； remaining yet in the family； it often brings back to me pleasant reminders of my childhood。 No other Bible seems quite so sacred to me as the old Family Bible； out of which my father used to read when we were all gathered around him for worship。 To turn its leaves and look at its pictures was one of our few Sabbath…day indulgences； and I cannot touch it now except with feelings of profound reverence。
For the first time in our lives； my little sister and I became pupils in a grammar school for both girls and boys； taught by a man。 I was put with her into the sixth class； but was sent the very next day into the first。 I did not belong in either； but somewhere between。 And I was very uncomfortable in my promotion； for though the reading and spelling and grammar and geography were perfectly easy； I had never studied any thing but mental arithmetic； and did not know how to 〃do a sum。〃 We had to show； when called up to recite； a slateful of sums； 〃done〃 and 〃proved。〃 No explanations were ever asked of us。
The girl who sat next to me saw my distress； and offered to do my sums for me。 I accepted her proposal； feeling； however； that I was a miserable cheat。 But I was afraid of the master； who was tall and gaunt； and used to stalk across the schoolroom； right over the desk…tops； to find out if there was any mischief going on。 Once； having caught a boy annoying a seat…mate with a pin； he punished the offender by pursuing him around the schoolroom； sticking a pin into his shoulder whenever he could overtake him。 And he had a fearful leather strap； which was sometimes used even upon the shrinking palm of a little girl。 If he should find out that I was a pretender and deceiver； as I knew that I was； I could not guess what might happen to me。 He never did； however。 I was left unmolested in the ignorance which I deserved。 But I never liked the girl who did my sums； and I fancied she had a decided contempt for me。
There was a friendly looking boy always sitting at the master's desk； they called him； the monitor。〃 It was his place to assist scholars who were in trouble about their lessons； but I was too bashful to speak to him； or to ask assistance of anybody。 I think that nobody learned much under that regime； and the whole school system was soon after entirely reorganized。
Our house was quickly filled with a large feminine family。 As a child； the gulf between little girlhood and young womanhood had always looked to me very wide。 I suppose we should get across it by some sudden jump； by and by。 But among these new companions of all ages； from fifteen to thirty years； we slipped into womanhood without knowing when or how。
Most of my mother's boarders were from New Hampshire and Vermont； and there was a fresh； breezy sociability about them which made them seem almost like a different race of beings from any we children had hitherto known。
We helped a little about the housework； before and after school； making beds； trimming lamps； and washing dishes。 The heaviest work was done by a strong Irish girl； my mother always attending to the cooking herself。 She was； however； a better caterer than the circumstances required or permitted。 She liked to make nice things for the table； and； having been accustomed to an abundant supply； could never learn to economize。 At a dollar and a quarter a week for board；（the price allowed for mill…girls by the corporations） great care in expenditure was necessary。 It was not in my mother's nature closely to calculate costs； and in this way there came to be a continually increasing leak in the family purse。 The older members of the family did everything they could； but it was not enough。 I heard it said one day； in a distressed tone； 〃The children will have to leave school and go into the mill。〃
There were many pros and cons between my mother and sisters before this was positively decided。 The mill…agent did not want to take us two little girls； but consented on condition we should be sure to attend school tile full number of months prescribed each year。 I； the younger one； was then between eleven and twelve years old。
I listened to all that was said about it； very much fearing that I should not be permitted to do the coveted work。 For the feeling had already frequently come to me； that I was the one too many in the overcrowded family nest。 Once； before we left our old home； I had heard a neighbor condoling with my mother because there were so many of us； and
