a new england girlhood-第20节
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had returned。 Were they not already as alive as they could be？ I found that there were different ideas of the resurrection among 〃orthodox〃 people； even then。 I was told however； that this was too deep a matter for me； and so I ceased asking questions。 But I pondered the matter of death； what did it mean？ The Apostle Paul gave me more light on the subject than any of the ministers did。 And； as usual； a poem helped me。 It was Pope's Ode； beginning with；
〃Vital spark of heavenly flame；〃
which I learned out of a reading…book。 To die was to 〃languish into life。〃 That was the meaning of it！ and I loved to repeat to myself the words；
〃Hark！ they whisper： angels say； 'Sister spirit； come away！'〃
〃The world recedes； it disappears！ Heaven opens on my eyes！ my ears With sounds seraphic ring。〃
A hymn that I learned a little later expressedto me the same satisfying thought：
〃For strangers into life we come； And dying is but going home。〃
The Apostle's words； with which the song of 〃The Dying Christian to his Soul〃 ends； left the whole cloudy question lit up with sunshine； to my childish thoughts：
〃O grave； where is thy 'victory？ O death； where is thy sting？〃
My father was dead； but that only meant that be bad gone to a better home than the one be lived in with us； and by and by we should go home； too。
Meanwhile the millennium was coming； and some people thought it was very near。 And what was the millennium？ Why； the time when everybody on earth would live just as they do in heaven。 Nobody would be selfish； nobody would be unkind； no！ not so much as in a single thought。 What a delightful world this would be to live in then！ Heaven itself could scarcely be much better！ Perhaps people would not die at all； but； when the right time came； would slip quietly away into heaven； just as Enoch did。
My father had believed in the near millennium。 His very last writing； in his sick…room； was a penciled computation； from the prophets； of the time when it would begin。 The first minister who preached in our church； long before I was born； had studied the subject much； and had written books upon this； his favorite theme。 The thought of it was continually breaking out； like bloom and sunshine； from the stern doctrines of the period。
One question in this connection puzzled me a good deal。 Were people going to be made good in spite of themselves； whether they wanted to or not？ And what would be done with the bad ones； if there were any left？ I did not like to think of their being killed off； and yet everybody must be good； or it would not be a true millennium。
It certainly would not matter much who was rich； and who was poor； if goodness； and not money； was the thing everybody cared for。 Oh； if the millennium would only begin now！ I felt as if it were hardly fair to me that I should not be here during those happy thousand years； when I wanted to so much。 But I had not lived even my short life in the world without leading something of my own faults and perversities； and when I saw that there was no sign of an approaching millennium in my heart I had to conclude that it might be a great way off； after all。 Yet the very thought of it brought warmth and illumination to my dreams by day and by night。 It was coming； some time！ And the people who were in heaven would be as glad of it as those who remained on earth。
That it was a hard world for my mother and her children to live in at present I could not help seeing。 The older members of the family found occupations by which the domestic burdens were lifted a little； but； with only the three youngest to clothe and to keep at school； there was still much more outgo than income； and my mother's discouragement every day increased。
My eldest brother had gone to sea with a relative who was master of a merchant vessel in the South American trade。 His inclination led him that way； it seemed to open before him a prospect of profitable business； and my mother looked upon him as her future stay and support。
One day she came in among us children looking strangely excited。 I heard her tell some one afterwards that she had just been to hear Father Taylor preach； the sailors minister； whose coming to our town must have been a rare occurrence。 His words had touched her personally； for he had spoken to mothers whose first…born had left them to venture upon strange seas and to seek unknown lands。 He had even given to the wanderer he described the name of her own absent son Benjamin。 〃As she left the church she met a neighbor who informed her that the brig 〃Mexican〃 had arrived at Salem； in trouble。 It was the vessel in which my brother had sailed only a short time before； expecting to be absent for months。 〃Pirates〃 was the only word we children caught； as she hastened away from the house； not knowing whether her son was alive or not。 Fortunately； the news hardly reached the town before my brother himself did。 She met him in the street； and brought him home with her； forgetting all her anxieties in her joy at his safety。
The 〃Mexican〃 had been attacked on the high seas by the piratical craft 〃Panda；〃 robbed of twenty thousand dollars in specie； se
fire； and abandoned to her fate； with the crew fastened down in the hold。 One small skylight had accidentally been overlooked by the freebooters。 The captain discovered it； and making his way through it to the deck； succeeded in putting out the fire； else vessel and sailors would have sunk together； and their fate would never have been known。
Breathlessly we listened whenever my brother would relate the story； which he did not at all enjoy doing； for a cutlass had been swung over his head； and his life threatened by the pirate's boatswain； demanding more money； after all had been taken。 A Genoese messmate； Iachimo； shortened to plain 〃Jack〃 by the 〃Mexican's〃 crew； came to see my brother one day； and at the dinner table he went through the whole adventure in pantomime； which we children watched with wide…eyed terror and amusement。 For there was some comedy mixed with what had been so nearly a tragedy； and Jack made us see the very whites of the black cook's eyes； who； favored by his color； had hidden himselfall except that dilated whitenessbetween two great casks in the bold。 Jack himself had fallen through a trap…door； was badly hurt； and could not extricate himself。
It was very ludicrous。 Jack crept under the table to show us how he and the cook made eyes at each other down there in the darkness； not daring to speak。 The pantomime was necessary； for the Genoese had very little English at his command。
When the pirate crew were brought into Salem for trial； my brother had the questionable satisfaction of identifying in the court…room the ruffian of a boatswain who had threatened his life。 This boatswain and several others of the crew were executed in Boston。 The boy found his brief sailor…experience quite enough for him； and afterward settled down quietly to the trade of a carpenter。
Changes thickened in the air around us。 Not the least among them was the burning of 〃our meeting…house；〃 in which we had all been baptized。 One Sunday morning we children were told； when we woke； that we could not go to meeting that day； because the church was a heap of smoking ruins。 It seemed to me almost like the end of the world。
During my father's life； a few years before my birth； his thoughts had been turned towards the new manufacturing town growing up on the banks of the Merrimack。 He had once taken a journey there； with the possibility in his mind of making the place his home； his limited income furnishing no adequate promise of a maintenance for his large family of daughters。 From the beginning； Lowell had a high reputation for good order； morality； piety； and all that was dear to the old…fashioned New Englander's heart。
After his death； my mother's thoughts naturally followed the direction his had taken； and seeing no other opening for herself； she sold her small estate； and moved to Lowell； with the intention of taking a corporation…house for mill…girl boarders。 Some of the family objected； for the Old World traditions about factory life were anything but attractive； and they were current in New England until the experiment at Lowell had shown that independent and intelligent workers invariably give their own character to their occupation。 My mother had visited Lowell； and she was willing and glad； knowing all about the place； to make it our home。
The change involved a great deal of work。 〃Boarders〃 signified a large house； many beds； and an indefinite number of people。 Such piles of sewing accumulated before us！ A sewing…bee； volunteered by the neighbors； reduced the quantity a little； and our child… fingers had to take their part。 But the seams of those sheets did look to me as if they were miles long！
My sister Lida and I had our 〃stint；〃so much to do every day。 It was warm weather； and that made it the more tedious； for we wanted to be running about the fields we were so soon to leave。 One day； in sheer desperation； we dragged a sheet up with us into an apple…tree in the yard； and sat and sewed there through the summer afternoon； beguiling the irksomeness of our task by telling stories and guessing riddles。
It was hardest fo
