the sorrows of young werther-第19节
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contented as a man can be。〃 An old woman； who was coming toward us； now called out； 〃Henry； Henry！ where are you？ We have been looking for you everywhere： come to dinner。〃 〃Is he your son？〃 I inquired； as I went toward her。 〃Yes；〃 she said： 〃he is my poor； unfortunate son。 The Lord has sent me a heavy affliction。〃 I asked whether he had been long in this state。 She answered； 〃He has been as calm as he is at present for about six months。 I thank Heaven that he has so far recovered： he was for one whole year quite raving； and chained down in a madhouse。 Now he injures no one； but talks of nothing else than kings and queens。 He used to be a very good； quiet youth； and helped to maintain me； he wrote a very fine hand； but all at once he became melancholy； was seized with a violent fever； grew distracted； and is now as you see。 If I were only to tell you； sir〃 I interrupted her by asking what period it was in which he boasted of having been so happy。 〃Poor boy！〃 she exclaimed； with a smile of cormpassion； 〃he means the time when he was completely deranged； a time he never ceases to regret； when he was in the madhouse； and unconscious of everything。〃 I was thunderstruck： I placed a piece of money in her hand； and hastened away。
〃You were happy！〃 I exclaimed； as I returned quickly to the town； 〃'as gay and contented as a man can be！'〃 God of heaven！ and is this the destiny of man？ Is he only happy before he has acquired his reason； or after he has lost it？ Unfortunate being！ And yet I envy your fate： I envy the delusion to which you are a victim。 You go forth with joy to gather flowers for your princess； in winter； and grieve when you can find none； and cannot understand why they do not grow。 But I wander forth without joy； without hope； without design； and I return as I came。 You fancy what a man you would be if the states general paid you。 Happy mortal； who can ascribe your wretchedness to an earthly cause！ You do not know； you do not feel； that in your own distracted heart and disordered brain dwells the source of that unhappiness which all the potentates on earth cannot relieve。
Let that man die unconsoled who can deride the invalid for undertaking a journey to distant； healthful springs； where he often finds only a heavier disease and a more painful death； or who can exult over the despairing mind of a sinner； who； to obtain peace of conscience and an alleviation of misery； makes a pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre。 Each laborious step which galls his wounded feet in rough and untrodden paths pours a drop of balm into his troubled soul； and the journey of many a weary day brings a nightly relief to his anguished heart。 Will you dare call this enthusiasm； ye crowd of pompous declaimers？ Enthusiasm！ 0 God！ thou seest my tears。 Thou hast allotted us our portion of misery： must we also have brethren to persecute us； to deprive us of our consolation； of our trust in thee； and in thy love and mercy？ For our trust in the virtue of the healing root； or in the strength of the vine； what is it else than a belief in thee from whom all that surrounds us derives its healing and restoring powers？ Father； whom I know not； who wert once wont to fill my soul； but who now hidest thy face from me； call me back to thee； be silent no longer； thy silence shall not delay a soul which thirsts after thee。 What man； what father； could be angry with a son for returning to him suddenly； for falling on his neck； and exclaiming； 〃I am here again； my father！ forgive me if I have anticipated my journey； and returned before the appointed time！ The world is everywhere the same； a scene of labour and pain； of pleasure and reward； but what does it all avail？ I am happy only where thou art； and in thy presence am I content to suffer or enjoy。〃 And wouldst thou； heavenly Father； banish such a child from thy presence？
DECEMBER 1。
Wilhelm； the man about whom I wrote to you that man so enviable in his misfortunes was secretary to Charlotte's father； and an unhappy passion for her which he cherished； concealed； and at length discovered； caused him to be dismissed from his situation。 This made him mad。 Think； whilst you peruse this plain narration； what an impression the circumstance has made upon me！ But it was related to me by Albert with as much calmness as you will probably peruse it。
DECEMBER 4。
I implore your attention。 It is all over with me。 I can support this state no longer。 To…day I was sitting by Charlotte。 She was playing upon her piano a succession of delightful melodies； with such intense expression！ Her little sister was dressing her doll upon my lap。 The tears came into my eyes。 I leaned down； and looked intently at her wedding…ring： my tears fell immediately she began to play that favourite； that divine； air which has so often enchanted me。 I felt comfort from a recollection of the past； of those bygone days when that air was familiar to me； and then I recalled all the sorrows and the disappointments which I had since endured。 I paced with hasty strides through the room； my heart became convulsed with painful emotions。 At length I went up to her； and exclaimed With eagerness； 〃For Heaven's sake； play that air no longer！〃 She stopped； and looked steadfastly at me。 She then said； with a smile which sunk deep into my heart； 〃Werther； you are ill： your dearest food is distasteful to you。 But go； I entreat you； and endeavour to compose yourself。〃 I tore myself away。 God； thou seest my torments； and wilt end them！
DECEMBER 6。
How her image haunts me！ Waking or asleep； she fills my entire soul！ Soon as I close my eyes； here； in my brain； where all the nerves of vision are concentrated； her dark eyes are imprinted。 Here I do not know how to describe it； but； if I shut my eyes； hers are immediately before me： dark as an abyss they open upon me； and absorb my senses。
And what is man that boasted demigod？ Do not his powers fail when he most requires their use？ And whether he soar in joy； or sink in sorrow； is not his career in both inevitably arrested？ And； whilst he fondly dreams that he is grasping at infinity； does he not feel compelled to return to a consciousness of his cold； monotonous existence？
THE EDITOR TO THE READER。
It is a matter of extreme regret that we want original evidence of the last remarkable days of our friend； and we are； therefore； obliged to interrupt the progress of his correspondence； and to supply the deficiency by a connected narration。
I have felt it my duty to collect accurate information from the mouths of persons well acquainted with his history。 The story is simple； and all the accounts agree； except in some unimportant particulars。 It is true； that； with respect to the characters of the persons spoken of； opinions and judgments vary。
We have only； then； to relate conscientiously the facts which our diligent labour has enabled us to collect； to give the letters of the deceased； and to pay particular attention to the slightest fragment from his pen； more especially as it is so difficult to discover the real and correct motives of men who are not of the common order。
Sorrow and discontent had taken deep root in Werther's soul； and gradually imparted their character to his whole being。 The harmony of his mind became completely disturbed； a perpetual excitement and mental irritation； which weakened his natural powers； produced the saddest etfects upon him； and rendered him at length the victim of an exhaustion against which he struggled with still more painful efforts than he had displayed； even in contending with his other misfortunes。 His mental anxiety weakened his various good qualities； and he was soon converted into a gloomy companion； always unhappy and unjust in his ideas； the more wretched he became。 This was； at least； the opinion of Albert's friends。 They assert； moreover； that the character of Albert himself had undergone no change in the meantime： he was still the same being whom Werther had loved； honoured； and respected from the commencement。 His love for Charlotte was unbounded： he was proud of her； and desired that she should be recognised by every one as the noblest of created beings。 Was he； however； to blame for wishing to avert from her every appearance of suspicion？ or for his unwillingness to share his rich prize with another； even for a moment； and in the most innocent manner？ It is asserted that Albert frequently retired from his wife's apartment during Werther's visits； but this did not arise from hatred or aversion to his friend； but only from a feeling that his presence was oppressive to Werther。
Charlotte's father； who was confined to the house by indisposition； was accustomed to send his carriage for her； that she might make excursions in the neighbourhood。 One day the weather had been unusually severe； and the whole country was covered with snow。
Werther went for Charlotte the following morning； in order that； if Albert were absent； he might conduct her home。
The beautiful weather produced but little impression on his troubled spirit。 A heavy weight lay upon his soul； deep melancholy had taken possession of him； and his mind knew no change save from one painful thought to another。
As he now
