the ninth vibration-第13节

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hand　mutely　when　the　difficulties　obliged　it；　she　accepting　absently；　and　as　if　her　thoughts　were　far　away。

Suddenly　she　quickened　her　pace。　We　had　climbed　about　nine　hundred　feet；　and　now　the　narrow　track　twisted　through　the　rocks　…　a　track　that　looked　as　age…worn　as　no　doubt　it　was。　We　threaded　it；　and　struggled　over　the　ridge；　and　looked　down　victorious　on　the　other　side。

There　she　stopped。　A　very　wonderful　sight；　of　which　I　had　never　seen　the　like；　lay　below　us。　Rock　and　waste　and　towering　crags；　and　the　mighty　ruin　of　the　monastery　set　in　the　fangs　of　the　mountain　like　a　robber　baron's　castle；　looking　far　away　to　the　blue　mountains　of　the　Debatable　Land　…　the　land　of　mystery　and　danger。　It　stood　there　…　the　great　ruin　of　a　vast　habitation　of　men。　Building　after　building；　mysterious　and　broken；　corridors；　halls；　refectories；　cells；　the　dwelling　of　a　faith　so　alien　that　I　could　not　reconstruct　the　life　that　gave　it　being。　And　all　sinking　gently　into　ruin　that　in　a　century　more　would　confound　it　with　the　roots　of　the　mountains。

Grey　and　wonderful；　it　clung　to　the　heights　and　looked　with　eyeless　windows　at　the　past。　Somehow　I　found　it　infinitely　pathetic；　the　very　faith　it　expressed　is　dead　in　India；　and　none　left　so　poor　to　do　it　reverence。

But　Vanna　knew　her　way。　Unerringly　she　led　me　from　point　to　point；　and　she　was　visibly　at　home　in　the　intricacies。　Such　knowledge　in　a　young　woman　bewildered　me。　Could　she　have　studied　the　plans　in　the　Museum？　How　else　should　she　know　where　the　abbot　lived；　or　where　the　refractory　brothers　were　punished？

Once　I　missed　her；　while　I　stooped　to　examine　some　scroll…work；　and　following；　found　her　before　one　of　the　few　images　of　the　Buddha　that　the　rapacious　Museum　had　spared　…　a　singularly　beautiful　bas…relief；　the　hand　raised　to　enforce　the　truth　the　calm　lips　were　speaking；　the　drapery　falling　in　stately　folds　to　the　bare　feet。　As　I　came　up；　she　had　an　air　as　if　she　had　just　ceased　from　movement；　and　I　had　a　distinct　feeling　that　she　had　knelt　before　it　…　I　saw　the　look　of　worship！　The　thing　troubled　me　like　a　dream；　haunting；　impossible；　but　real。

〃How　beautiful！〃　I　said　in　spite　of　myself；　as　she　pointed　to　the　image。　〃In　this　utter　solitude　it　seems　the　very　spirit　of　the　place。〃

〃He　was。　He　is；〃　said　Vanna。

〃Explain　to　me。　I　don't　understand。　I　know　so　little　of　him。　What　is　the　subject？〃

She　hesitated；　then　chose　her　words　as　if　for　a　beginner；…　〃It　is　the　Blessed　One　preaching　to　the　Tree…Spirits。　See　how　eagerly　they　lean　from　the　boughs　to　listen。　This　other　relief　represents　him　in　the　state　of　mystic　vision。　Here　he　is　drowned　in　peace。　See　how　it　overflows　from　the　closed　eyes；　the　closed　lips。　The　air　is　filled　with　his　quiet。〃

〃What　is　he　dreaming？〃

〃Not　dreaming　…　seeing。　Peace。　He　sits　at　the　point　where　time　and　infinity　meet。　To　attain　that　vision　was　the　aim　of　the　monks　who　lived　here。〃

〃Did　they　attain？〃　I　found　myself　speaking　as　if　she　could　certainly　answer。

〃A　few。　There　was　one；　Vasettha；　the　Brahman；　a　young　man　who　had　renounced　all　his　possessions　and　riches；　and　seated　here　before　this　image　of　the　Blessed　One；　he　fell　often　into　the　mystic　state。　He　had　a　strange　vision　at　one　time　of　the　future　of　India；　which　will　surely　be　fulfilled。　He　did　not　forget　it　in　his　rebirths。　He　remembers…〃

She　broke　off　suddenly　and　said　with　forced　indifference；　…　〃He　would　sit　here　often　looking　out　over　the　mountains；　the　monks　sat　at　his　feet　to　hear。　He　became　abbot　while　still　young。　But　his　story　is　a　sad　one。〃

〃I　entreat　you　to　tell　me。〃

She　looked　away　over　the　mountains。　〃While　he　was　abbot　here；…　still　a　young　man；…　a　famous　Chinese　Pilgrim　came　down　through　Kashmir　to　visit　the　Holy　Places　in　India。　The　abbot　went　forward　with　him　to　Peshawar；　that　he　might　make　him　welcome。　And　there　came　a　dancer　to　Peshawar；　named　Lilavanti；　most　beautiful！　I　dare　not　tell　you　her　beauty。　I　tremble　now　to　think…〃

Again　she　paused；　and　again　the　faint　creeping　sense　of　mystery　invaded　me。

She　resumed；…

〃The　abbot　saw　her　and　he　loved　her。　He　was　young　still；　you　remember。　She　was　a　woman　of　the　Hindu　faith　and　hated　Buddhism。　It　swept　him　down　into　the　lower　worlds　of　storm　and　desire。　He　fled　with　Lilavanti　and　never　returned　here。　So　in　his　rebirth　he　fell…〃

She　stopped　dead；　her　face　pale　as　death。

〃How　do　you　know？　Where　have　you　read　it？　If　I　could　only　find　what　you　find　and　know　what　you　know！　The　East　is　like　an　open　book　to　you。　Tell　me　the　rest。〃

〃How　should　I　know　any　more？〃　she　said　hurriedly。　〃We　must　be　going　back。　You　should　study　the　plans　of　this　place　at　Peshawar。　They　were　very　learned　monks　who　lived　here。　It　is　famous　for　learning。〃

The　life　had　gone　out　of　her　words…out　of　the　ruins。　There　was　no　more　to　be　said。

We　clambered　down　the　hill　in　the　hot　sunshine；　speaking　only　of　the　view；　the　strange　shrubs　and　flowers；　and；　once；　the　swift　gliding　of　a　snake；　and　found　Mrs。　Delany　blissfully　asleep　in　the　most　padded　corner　of　the　car。　The　spirit　of　the　East　vanished　in　her　comfortable　presence；　and　luncheon　seemed　the　only　matter　of　moment。

〃I　wonder；　my　dears；〃　she　said；　〃if　you　would　be　very　disappointed　and　think　me　very　dense　if　I　proposed　our　giving　up　the　Malakhand　Fort？　The　driver　has　been　giving　me　in　very　poor　English　such　an　account　of　the　dangers　of　that　awful　road　up　the　hill　that　I　feel　no　Fort　would　repay　me　for　its　terrors。　Do　say　what　you　feel；　Miss　Loring。　Mr。　Clifden　can　lunch　with　the　officers　at　Nowshera　and　come　any　time。　I　know　I　am　an　atrocity。〃

There　could　be　only　one　answer；　though　Vanna　and　I　knew　perfectly　well　the　crafty　design　of　the　driver　to　spare　himself　work。　Mrs。　Delany　remained　brightly　awake　for　the　run　home；　and　favored　us　with　many　remarkable　views　on　India　and　its　shortcomings；　Vanna；　who　had　a　sincere　liking　for　her；　laughing　with　delight　at　her　description　of　a　visit　of　condolence　with　Lady　Meryon　to　the　five　widows　of　one　of　the　hill　Rajas。

But　I　own　I　was　pre…occupied。　I　knew　those　moments　at　the　monastery　had　given　me　a　glimpse　into　the　wonderland　of　her　soul　that　made　me　long　for　more。　It　was　rapidly　becoming　clear　to　me　that　unless　my　intentions　developed　on　very　different　lines　I　must　flee　Peshawar。　For　love　is　born　of　sympathy；　and　sympathy　was　strengthening　daily；　but　for　love　I　had　no　courage　yet。

I　feared　it　as　men　fear　the　unknown。　I　despised　myself　…　but　I　feared。　I　will　confess　my　egregious　folly　and　vanity　…　I　had　no　doubt　as　to　her　reception　of　my　offer　if　I　should　make　it；　but　possessed　by　a　colossal　selfishness；　I　thought　only　of　myself；　and　from　that　point　of　view　could　not　decide　how　I　stood　to　lose　or　gain。　In　my　wildest　accesses　of　vanity　I　did　not　suppose　Vanna　loved　me；　but　I　felt　she　liked　me；　and　I　believe　the　advantages　I　had　to　offer　would　be　overwhelming　to　a　woman　in　her　position。　So；　tossed　on　the　waves　of　indecision；　I　inclined　to　flight。

That　night　I　resolutely　began　my　packing；　and　wrote　a　note　of　farewell　to　Lady　Meryon。　The　next　morning　I　furiously　undid　it；　and　destroyed　the　note。　And　that　afternoon　I　took　the　shortest　way　to　the　sun…set　road　to　lounge　about　and　wait　for　Vanna　and　Winifred。　She　never　came；　and　I　was　as　unreasonably　angry　as　if　I　had　deserved　the　blessing　of　her　presence。

Next　day　I　could　see　that　she　tried　gently　hut　clearly　to　discourage　our　meeting　and　for　three　days　I　never　saw　her　at　all。　Yet　I　knew　that　in　her　solitary　life　our　talks　counted　for　a　pleasure；　and　when　we　met　again　I　thought　I　saw　a　new　softness　in　the　lovely　hazel　deeps　of　her　eyes。



III　


On　the　day　when　things　became　clear　to　me；　I　was　walking　towards　the　Meryons'　gates　when　I　met　her　coming　alone　along　the　sunset　road；　in　the　late　gold　of　the　afternoon。　She　looked　pale　and　a　little　wearied；　and　I　remembered　I　wished　I　did　not　know　every　change　of　her　face　as　I　did。　It　was　a　symptom　that　alarmed　my　selfishness　…　it　galled　me　with　the　sense　that　I　was　no　longer　my　own　despot。

〃So　you　have　been　up　the　Khyber　Pass；〃　she　said　as　I　fell　into　step　at　her　side。　〃Tell　me　…　was　it　as　wonderful　as　you　expected？〃

〃No；　no；　…you　tell　me！　It　will　give　me　what　I　missed。　Begin　at　the　beginning。　Tell　me　what　I　saw。〃

I　could　not　miss　the　delight　of　her　words；　and　she　laughed；　knowing　my　whim。

〃Oh；　that　Pass！　…the　wonder　of　those　old　roads　that　have　borne　the　traffic　and　romance　of　the　world　for　ages。　Do　you　think　there　is　anything　in　the　world　so　fascinating　as　they　are？　But　did　you　go　on　Tuesday　or　Friday？〃

For　these　are　the　only　days　in　the　week　when　the　Khyber　can　be　safely　entered。　The　British　then　turn　out　the　Khyber　Rifles　and　man　every　crag；　and　the　loaded　caravans　move　like　a　tide；　and　go　up　and　down　the　narrow　road　on　their　occasions。

Naturally　mere　sightseers　are　not　welcomed；　for　much　business　must　be　got　through　in　that　urgent　forty　eight　hours　in　which　life　is　not　risked　in　entering。

〃Tuesday。　But　make　a　picture　for　me。〃

〃Well；　you　gave　your　word　not　to　photograph　or　sketch　…　as　if　one　wanted　to　when　every　bit　of　it　is　stamped　on　one's　brain！　And　you　went　up　to　Jumrood　Fort　at　the　entrance。　Did　they　tell　you　it　is　an　old　Sikh　Fort　and　has　been　on　duty　in　that　turbulent　place　for　five　hundred