the notch on the ax and on being found out-第80节

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sweeping　through　me；　as　it　were；　with　each　gust　of　wind。　　Then；
suddenly；　a　servant　stood　behind　me；　saying　that　the　lady　had　come
for　me；　and　was　in　the　drawing…room。　　Shocked　that　my　aunt　should
have　troubled　herself　to　come　so　far；　I　turned　quickly；　stepped
back　into　the　room；　and　found　myself　face　to　face　with　Delia。　　She
was　fully　dressed　for　the　evening；　with　a　long　silk　opera…cloak
over　her　shoulders；　her　face　as　white　as　her　gown；　her　splendid
eyes　strangely　wide　open　and　shining。　　I　don't　know　what　I　said　or
did；　I　tried　to　get　her　away；　but　it　was　too　late。　　The　others　had
heard　us；　and　appeared　at　the　open　window。　　Jack　came　forward　at
once；　speaking　rapidly；　fiercely；　telling　her　to　leave　the　house　at
once；　promising　desperately　that　he　would　see　her　in　his　own　rooms
on　the　morrow。　　Well　I　remember　how　her　answer　rang　out；

〃'Neither　to…morrow　nor　another　day：　I　will　never　leave　you　again
while　I　live。'

〃At　the　same　instant　she　drew　something　swiftly　from　under　her
cloak；　there　was　the　sound　of　a　pistol　shot　and　she　lay　dead　at　our
feet；　her　blood　splashing　upon　Jack's　shirt　and　hands　as　she　fell。〃

Alan　paused　in　his　recital。　　He　was　trembling　from　head　to　foot；
but　he　kept　his　eyes　turned　steadily　downwards；　and　both　face　and
voice　were　coldalmost　expressionless。

〃Of　course　there　was　an　inquest；〃　he　resumed；　〃which；　as　usual；
exercised　its　very　ill…defined　powers　in　inquiring　into　all
possible　motives　for　the　suicide。　　Young　Grey；　who　had　stepped　into
the　room　just　before　the　shot　had　been　fired；　swore　to　the　last
words　Delia　had　uttered；　Legard　to　those　he　had　overheard　the　night
of　that　dreadful　supper：　there　were　scores　of　men　to　bear　witness
to　the　intimate　relations　which　had　existed　between　her　and　Jack
during　the　whole　of　the　previous　spring。　　I　had　to　give　evidence。
A　skillful　lawyer　had　been　retained　by　one　of　her　sisters；　and　had
been　instructed　by　her　on　points　which　no　doubt　she　had　originally
learnt　from　Delia　herself。　　In　his　hands；　I　had　not　only　to
corroborate　Grey　and　Legard；　and　to　give　full　details　of　that　last
interview；　but　also　to　swear　to　the　peculiar　value　which　Jack
attached　to　the　talisman　ring　which　he　had　given　Delia；　to　the
language　she　had　held　when　I　saw　her　after　my　return　from　Oxford；
to　her　subsequent　letter；　and　Jack's　fatal　silence　on　the　occasion。
The　story　by　which　Jack　and　I　strove　to　account　for　the　facts　was
laughed　at　as　a　clumsy　invention；　and　my　undisguised　reluctance　in
giving　evidence　added　greatly　to　its　weight　against　my　brother's
character。

〃The　jury　returned　a　verdict　of　suicide　while　of　unsound　mind；　the
result　of　desertion　by　her　lover。　　You　may　imagine　how　that　verdict
was　commented　upon　by　every　Radical　newspaper　in　the　kingdom；　and
for　once　society　more　than　corroborated　the　opinions　of　the　press。
The　larger　public　regarded　the　story　as　an　extreme　case　of　the
innocent　victim　and　the　cowardly　society　villain。　　It　was　only
among　a　comparatively　small　set　that　Delia's　reputation　was　known；
and　there；　in　view　of　Jack's　notorious　and　peculiar　intimacy；　his
repudiation　of　all　relations　with　her　was　received　with
contemptuous　incredulity。　　That　he　should　have　first　entered　upon
such　relations　at　the　very　time　when　he　was　already　courting　Lady
Sylvia　was　regarded　even　in　those　circles　as　a　'strong　order；'　and
they　looked　upon　his　present　attitude　with　great　indignation；　as　a
cowardly　attempt　to　save　his　own　character　by　casting　upon　the　dead
woman's　memory　all　the　odium　of　a　false　accusation。　　With　an　entire
absence　of　logic；　too；　he　was　made　responsible　for　the　suicide
having　taken　place　in　Lady　Sylvia's　presence。　　She　had　broken　off
the　engagement　the　day　after　the　catastrophe；　and　her　family；　a
clan　powerful　in　the　London　world；　furious　at　the　mud　through　which
her　name　had　been　dragged；　did　all　that　they　could　to　intensify　the
feeling　already　existing　against　Jack。

〃Not　a　voice　was　raised　in　his　defense。　　He　was　advised　to　leave
the　army；　he　was　requested　to　withdraw　from　some　of　his　clubs；
turned　out　of　others；　avoided　by　his　fast　acquaintances；　cut　by　his
respectable　ones。　　It　was　enough　to　kill　a　weaker　man。

〃He　showed　no　resentment　at　the　measure　thus　dealt　out　to　him。
Indeed；　at　the　first；　except　for　Sylvia's　desertion　of　him；　he
seemed　dully　indifferent　to　it　all。　　It　was　as　if　his　soul　had　been
stunned；　from　the　moment　that　that　wretched　woman's　blood　had
splashed　upon　his　fingers；　and　her　dead　eyes　had　looked　up　into　his
own。

〃But　it　was　not　long　before　he　realized　the　full　extent　of　the
social　damnation　which　had　been　inflicted　upon　him；　and　he　then
resolved　to　leave　the　country　and　go　to　America。　　The　night　before
he　started　he　came　down　here　to　take　leave。　　I　was　here　looking
after　my　parentsGeorge；　whose　mind　was　almost　unhinged　by　the
family　disgrace；　having　gone　abroad　with　his　wife。　　My　mother　at
the　first　news　of　what　had　happened　had　taken　to　her　bed；　never　to
leave　it　again；　and　thus　it　was　in　my　presence　alone；　up　there　in
my　father's　little　study；　that　Jack　gave　him　that　night　the　whole
story。　　He　told　it　quietly　enough；　but　when　he　had　finished；　with　a
sudden　outburst　of　feeling　he　turned　upon　me。　　It　was　I　who　had
been　the　cause　of　it　all。　　My　insensate　folly　had　induced　him　to
make　the　unhappy　woman's　acquaintance；　to　allow　and　even　encourage
her　fatal　love；　to　commit　all　the　blunders　and　sins　which　had
brought　about　her　miserable　ending　and　his　final　overthrow。　　It　was
by　means　of　me　that　she　had　obtained　access　to　him　on　that　dreadful
night；　my　evidence　which　most　utterly　damned　him　in　public　opinion；
through　me　he　had　lost　his　reputation；　his　friends；　his　career；　his
country；　the　woman　he　loved；　his　hopes　for　the　future；　through　me；
above　all；　that　the　burden　of　that　horrible　death　would　lie　for
ever　on　his　soul。　　He　was　lashing　himself　to　fury　with　his　own
words　as　he　spoke；　and　I　stood　leaning　against　the　wall　opposite　to
him；　cold；　dumb；　unresisting；　when　suddenly　my　father　interrupted。
I　think　that　both　Jack　and　I　had　forgotten　his　presence；　but　at　the
sound　of　his　voice；　changed　from　what　we　had　ever　heard　it；　we
turned　to　him；　and　I　then　for　the　first　time　saw　in　his　face　the
death…look　which　never　afterwards　quitted　it。

〃'Stop；　Jack；'　he　said；　'Alan　is　not　to　blame；　and　if　it　had　not
been　in　this　way；　it　would　have　been　in　some　other。　　I　only　am
guilty；　who　brought　you　both　into　existence　with　my　own　hell…
stained　blood　in　your　veins。　　If　you　wish　to　curse　anyone；　curse
your　family；　your　name；　me　if　you　will；　and　may　God　forgive　me　that
you　were　ever　born　into　the　world！'〃

Alan　stopped　with　a　shudder；　and　then　continued；　dully；　〃It　was
when　I　heard　those　words；　the　most　terrible　that　a　father　could
have　uttered；　that　I　first　understood　all　that　that　old　sixteenth…
century　tale　might　mean　to　me　and　mine；I　have　realized　it　vividly
enough　since。　　Early　the　next　morning；　when　the　dawn　was　just
breaking；　Jack　came　to　the　door　of　my　room　to　bid　me　good…by。　　All
his　passion　was　gone。　　His　looks　and　tones　seemed　part　and　parcel
of　the　dim　gray　morning　light。　　He　freely　withdrew　all　the　charges
he　had　made　against　me　the　night　before；　forgave　me　all　the　share
that　I　had　had　in　his　misfortunes；　and　then　begged　that　I　would
never　come　near　him；　or　let　him　hear　from　me　again。　　'The　curse　is
heavy　upon　us　both；'　he　said；　'and　it　is　the　only　favor　which　you
can　do　me。'　　I　have　never　seen　him　since。〃

〃But　you　have　heard　of　him！〃　I　exclaimed；　〃what　has　become　of　him？〃

Alan　raised　himself　to　a　sitting　posture。　　〃The　last　that　I　heard；〃
he　said；　with　a　catch　in　his　voice；　〃was　that　in　his　misery　and
hopelessness　he　was　taking　to　drink。　　George　writes　to　him；　and
does　what　he　can；　but　II　dare　not　say　a　word；　for　fear　it　should
turn　to　poison　on　my　lips；I　dare　not　lift　a　hand　to　help　him；　for
fear　it　should　have　power　to　strike　him　to　the　ground。　　The　worst
may　be　yet　to　come；　I　am　still　living；　still　living：　there　are
depths　of　shame　to　which　he　has　not　sunk。　　And　oh；　Evie；　Evie；　he
is　my　own；　my　best…loved　brother！〃

All　his　composure　was　gone　now。　　His　voice　rose　to　a　kind　of　wail
with　the　last　words；　and　folding　his　arms　on　his　raised　knee；　he
let　his　head　fall　upon　them；　while　his　figure　quivered　with
scarcely　restrained　emotion。　　There　was　a　silence　for　some　moments
while　he　sat　thus；　I　looking　on　in　wretched　helplessness　beside
him。　　Then　he　raised　his　head；　and；　without　looking　round　at　me；
went　on　in　a　low　tone：　〃And　what　is　in　the　future？　　I　pray　that
death　instead　of　shame　may　be　the　portion　of　the　next　generation；
and　I　look　at　George's　boys　only　to　wonder　which　of　them　is　the
happy　one　who　shall　some　day　lie　dead　at　his　brother's　feet。　　Are
you　surprised　at　my　resolution　never　to　marry？　　The　fatal　prophecy
is　rich　in　its　fulfillment；　none　of　our　name　and　blood　are　safe；
and　the　day　might　come　when　I　too　should　have　to　call　upon　my
children　to　curse　me　for　their　birth；should　have　to　watch　while
the　burden　which　I　could　no　longer　bear　alone　pressed　the　life　from
their　mother's　heart。〃

Through　the　tragedy　of　this　speech　I　was　conscious　of　a　faint
suggestion　of　comfort；　a　far…off　glimme