the notch on the ax and on being found out-第75节

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and　though　my　theorizing　for　your　welfare　may　be　true　enough；　yet；
I　cannot　help　it；　Evie；it　would　go　terribly　hard　with　me　if
anything　were　to　happen　to　you。〃

His　voice　trembled　as　he　finished。　　My　fear　had　gone　with　his
return　to　his　natural　manner；　but　my　bewilderment　remained。

〃Why　SHOULD　there　anything　happen　to　me？〃　I　asked。

〃That　is　just　it；〃　he　answered；　after　a　pause；　looking　straight　in
front　of　him　and　drawing　his　hand　wearily　over　his　brow。　　〃I　know
of　no　reason　why　there　should。〃　　Then　giving　a　sigh；　as　if　finally
to　dismiss　from　his　mind　a　worrying　subject〃I　have　acted　for　the
best；〃　he　said；　〃and　may　God　forgive　me　if　I　have　done　wrong。〃

There　was　a　little　silence　after　that；　and　then　he　began　to　talk
again；　steadily　and　quietly。　　The　subject　was　deep　enough　still；　as
deep　as　any　that　we　had　touched　upon；　but　both　voice　and　sentiment
were　calm；　bringing　peace　to　my　spirit；　and　soon　making　me　forget
the　wonder　and　fear　of　a　few　moments　before。　　Very　openly　did　he
talk　as　we　passed　on　across　the　long　trunk　shadows　and　through　the
glades　of　silver　light；　and　I　saw　farther　then　into　the　most　sacred
recesses　of　his　soul　than　I　have　ever　done　before　or　since。

When　we　reached　home　the　moon　had　already　set；　but　some　of　her
beams　seemed　to　have　been　left　behind　within　my　heart；　so　pure　and
peaceful　was　the　light　which　filled　it。

The　same　feeling　continued　with　me　all　through　that　evening。　　After
dinner　some　of　the　party　played　and　sang。　　As　it　was　Sunday；　and
Lucy　was　rigid　in　her　views；　the　music　was　of　a　sacred　character。
I　sat　in　a　low　armchair　in　a　dark　corner　of　the　room；　my　mind　too
dreamy　to　think；　and　too　passive　to　dream。　　I　hardly　interchanged
three　words　with　Alan；　who　remained　in　a　still　darker　spot；
invisible　and　silent　the　whole　time。　　Only　as　we　left　the　room　to
go　to　bed；　I　heard　Lucy　ask　him　if　he　had　a　headache。　　I　did　not
hear　his　answer；　and　before　I　could　see　his　face　he　had　turned　back
again　into　the　drawing…room。


V


It　was　early；　and　when　first　I　got　to　my　room　I　felt　little
inclined　for　sleep。　　I　wandered　to　the　window；　and　drawing　aside
the　curtains；　looked　out　upon　the　still；　starlit　sky。　　At　least　I
should　rest　quiet　to…night。　　The　air　was　very　clear；　and　the　sky
seemed　full　of　stars。　　As　I　stood　there　scraps　of　schoolroom
learning　came　back　to　my　mind。　　That　the　stars　were　all　suns；
surrounded　perhaps　in　their　turn　by　worlds　as　large　or　larger　than
our　own。　　Worlds　beyond　worlds；　and　others　farther　still；　which　no
man　might　number　or　even　descry。　　And　about　the　distance　of　those
wonderful　suns　too；that　one；　for　instance；　at　which　I　was
looking；what　was　it　that　I　had　been　told？　　That　our　world　was　not
yet　peopled；　perhaps　not　yet　formed；　when　the　actual　spot　of　light
which　now　struck　my　sight　first　started　from　the　star's　surface！
While　it　flashed　along；　itself　the　very　symbol　of　speed；　the　whole
of　mankind　had　had　time　to　be　born；　and　live；　and　die！

My　gaze　dropped；　and　fell　upon　the　dim；　half…seen　outline　of　the
Dead　Stone。　　That　woman　too。　　While　that　one　ray　speeded　towards　me
her　life　had　been　lived　and　ended；　and　her　body　had　rotted　away
into　the　ground。　　How　close　together　we　all　were！　　Her　life　and
mine；　our　joys；　sufferings；　deathsall　crowded　together　into　the
space　of　one　flash　of　light！　　And　yet　there　was　nothing　there　but　a
horrible　skeleton　of　dead　bones；　while　I！

I　stopped　with　a　shudder；　and　turned　back　into　the　room。　　I　wished
that　Alan　had　not　told　me　what　lay　under　the　stone；　I　wished　that　I
had　never　asked　him。　　It　was　a　ghastly　thing　to　think　about；　and
spoilt　all　the　beauty　of　the　night　to　me。

I　got　quickly　into　bed；　and　soon　dropped　asleep。　　I　do　not　know　how
long　I　slept；　but　when　I　woke　it　was　with　the　consciousness　again
of　that　haunting　wind。

It　was　worse　than　ever。　　The　world　seemed　filled　with　its　din。
Hurling　itself　passionately　against　the　house；　it　gathered　strength
with　every　gust；　till　it　seemed　as　if　the　old　walls　must　soon　crash
in　ruins　round　me。　　Gust　upon　gust；　blow　upon　blow；　swelling；
lessening；　never　ceasing。　　The　noise　surrounded　me；　it　penetrated
my　inmost　being；　as　all…pervading　as　silence　itself；　and　wrapping
me　in　a　solitude　even　more　complete。　　There　was　nothing　left　in　the
world　but　the　wind　and　I；　and　then　a　weird　intangible　doubt　as　to
my　own　identity　seized　me。　　The　wind　was　real；　the　wind　with　its
echoes　of　passion　and　misery　from　the　eternal　abyss；　but　was　there
anything　else？　　What　was；　and　what　had　been；　the　world　of　sense　and
of　knowledge；　my　own　consciousness；　my　very　self；all　seemed
gathered　up　and　swept　away　in　that　one　sole…existent　fury　of　sound。

I　pulled　myself　together；　and　getting　out　of　bed；　groped　my　way　to
the　table　which　stood　between　the　bed　and　the　fireplace。　　The
matches　were　there；　and　my　half…burnt　candle；　which　I　lit。　　The
wind　penetrating　the　rattling　casement　circled　round　the　room；　and
the　flame　of　my　candle　bent　and　flared　and　shrank　before　it；
throwing　strange　moving　lights　and　shadows　in　every　corner。　　I
stood　there　shivering　in　my　thin　nightdress；　half　stunned　by　the
cataract　of　noise　beating　on　the　walls　outside；　and　peered
anxiously　around　me。　　The　room　was　not　the　same。　　Something　was
changed。　　What　was　it？　　How　the　shadows　leaped　and　fell；　dancing　in
time　to　the　wind's　music。　　Everything　seemed　alive。　　I　turned　my
head　slowly　to　the　left；　and　then　to　the　right；　and　then　roundand
stopped　with　a　sudden　gasp　of　fear。

The　cabinet　was　open！

I　looked　away；　and　back；　and　again。　　There　was　no　room　for　doubt。
The　doors　were　thrown　back；　and　were　waving　gently　in　the　draught。
One　of　the　lower　drawers　was　pulled　out；　and　in　a　sudden　flare　of
the　candle…light　I　could　see　something　glistening　at　its　bottom。
Then　the　light　dwindled　again；　the　candle　was　almost　out；　and　the
cabinet　showed　a　dim　black　mass　in　the　darkness。　　Up　and　down　went
the　flame；　and　each　returning　brightness　flashed　back　at　me　from
the　thing　inside　the　drawer。　　I　stood　fascinated；　my　eyes　fixed
upon　the　spot；　waiting　for　the　fitful　glitter　as　it　came　and　went。
What　was　there　there？　　I　knew　that　I　must　go　and　see；　but　I　did　not
want　to。　　If　only　the　cabinet　would　close　again　before　I　looked；
before　I　knew　what　was　inside　it。　　But　it　stood　open；　and　the
glittering　thing　lay　there；　dragging　me　towards　itself。

Slowly　at　last；　and　with　infinite　reluctance；　I　went。　　The　drawer
was　lined　with　soft　white　satin；　and　upon　the　satin　lay　a　long；
slender　knife；　hilted　and　sheathed　in　antique　silver；　richly　set
with　jewels。　　I　took　it　up　and　turned　back　to　the　table　to　examine
it。　　It　was　Italian　in　workmanship；　and　I　knew　that　the　carving　and
chasing　of　the　silver　were　more　precious　even　than　the　jewels　which
studded　it；　and　whose　rough　setting　gave　so　firm　a　grasp　to　my
hand。　　Was　the　blade　as　fair　as　the　covering；　I　wondered？　　A　little
resistance　at　first；　and　then　the　long　thin　steel　slid　easily　out。
Sharp；　and　bright；　and　finely　tempered　it　looked　with　its　deadly；
tapering　point。　　Stains；　dull　and　irregular；　crossed　the　fine
engraving　on　its　surface　and　dimmed　its　polish。　　I　bent　to　examine
them　more　closely；　and　as　I　did　so　a　sudden　stronger　gust　of　wind
blew　out　the　candle。　　I　shuddered　a　little　at　the　darkness　and
looked　up。　　But　it　did　not　matter：　the　curtain　was　still　drawn　away
from　the　window　opposite　my　bedside；　and　through　it　a　flood　of
moonlight　was　pouring　in　upon　floor　and　bed。

Putting　the　sheath　down　upon　the　table；　I　walked　to　the　window　to
examine　the　knife　more　closely　by　that　pale　light。　　How　gloriously
brilliant　it　was！　darkened　now　and　again　by　the　quickly　passing
shadows　of　wind…driven　clouds。　　At　least　so　I　thought；　and　I
glanced　up　and　out　of　the　window　to　see　them。　　A　black　world　met　my
gaze。　　Neither　moon　was　there　nor　moonlight：　the　broad　silver　beam
in　which　I　stood　stretched　no　farther　than　the　window。　　I　caught　my
breath；　and　my　limbs　stiffened　as　I　looked。　　No　moon；　no　cloud；　no
movement　in　the　clear；　calm；　starlit　sky；　while　still　the　ghastly
light　stretched　round　me；　and　the　spectral　shadows　drifted　across
the　room。

But　it　was　not　all　dark　outside：　one　spot　caught　my　eye；　bright
with　a　livid　unearthly　brightnessthe　Dead　Stone　shining　out　into
the　night　like　an　ember　from　hell's　furnace！　　There　was　a　horrid
semblance　of　life　in　the　light；a　palpitating；　breathing　glow；
and　my　pulses　beat　in　time　to　it；　till　I　seemed　to　be　drawing　it
into　my　veins。　　It　had　no　warmth；　and　as　it　entered　my　blood　my
heart　grew　colder；　and　my　muscles　more　rigid。　　My　fingers　clutched
the　dagger…hilt　till　its　jeweled　roughness　pressed　painfully　into
my　palm。　　All　the　strength　of　my　strained　powers　seemed　gathered　in
that　grasp；　and　the　more　tightly　I　held　the　more　vividly　did　the
rock　gleam　and　quiver　with　infernal　life。　　The　dead　woman！　　The
dead　woman！　　What　had　I　to　do　with　her？　　Let　her　bones　rest　in　the
filth　of　their　own　decay；out　there　under　the　accursed　stone。

And　now　the　noise　of　the　wind　lessens　in　my　ears。　　Let　it　go　on；
yes；　louder　and　wilder；　drowning　my　senses　in　its　tumult。　　What　is
there　with　me　in　the　roomthe　great　empty　room　behind　me？
Nothing；　only　the　cabinet　with　it