the notch on the ax and on being found out-第6节

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The　monstrous　thought　came　into　my　mind；　as　I　perused　the　fixed
eyes　and　the　saturnine　face；　that　this　was　a　spirit；　not　a　man。　　I
have　speculated　since；　whether　there　may　have　been　infection　in　his
mind。

In　my　turn；　I　stepped　back。　　But　in　making　the　action；　I　detected
in　his　eyes　some　latent　fear　of　me。　　This　put　the　monstrous　thought
to　flight。

〃You　look　at　me；〃　I　said；　forcing　a　smile；　〃as　if　you　had　a　dread
of　me。〃

〃I　was　doubtful；〃　he　returned；　〃whether　I　had　seen　you　before。〃

〃Where？〃

He　pointed　to　the　red　light　he　had　looked　at。

〃There？〃　I　said。

Intently　watchful　of　me；　he　replied　（but　without　sound）；　〃Yes。〃

〃My　good　fellow；　what　should　I　do　there？　　However；　be　that　as　it
may；　I　never　was　there；　you　may　swear。〃

〃I　think　I　may；〃　he　rejoined。　　〃Yes；　I　am　sure　I　may。〃

His　manner　cleared；　like　my　own。　　He　replied　to　my　remarks　with
readiness；　and　in　well…chosen　words。　　Had　he　much　to　do　there？
Yes；　that　was　to　say；　he　had　enough　responsibility　to　bear；　but
exactness　and　watchfulness　were　what　was　required　of　him；　and　of
actual　workmanual　laborhe　had　next　to　none。　　To　change　that
signal；　to　trim　those　lights；　and　to　turn　this　iron　handle　now　and
then；　was　all　he　had　to　do　under　that　head。　　Regarding　those　many
long　and　lonely　hours　of　which　I　seemed　to　make　so　much；　he　could
only　say　that　the　routine　of　his　life　had　shaped　itself　into　that
form；　and　he　had　grown　used　to　it。　　He　had　taught　himself　a
language　down　here；if　only　to　know　it　by　sight；　and　to　have
formed　his　own　crude　ideas　of　its　pronunciation；　could　be　called
learning　it。　　He　had　also　worked　at　fractions　and　decimals；　and
tried　a　little　algebra；　but　he　was；　and　had　been　as　a　boy；　a　poor
hand　at　figures。　　Was　it　necessary　for　him　when　on　duty　always　to
remain　in　that　channel　of　damp　air；　and　could　he　never　rise　into
the　sunshine　from　between　those　high　stone　walls？　　Why；　that
depended　upon　times　and　circumstances。　　Under　some　conditions　there
would　be　less　upon　the　Line　than　under　others；　and　the　same　held
good　as　to　certain　hours　of　the　day　and　night。　　In　bright　weather；
he　did　choose　occasions　for　getting　a　little　above　these　lower
shadows；　but；　being　at　all　times　liable　to　be　called　by　his
electric　bell；　and　at　such　times　listening　for　it　with　redoubled
anxiety；　the　relief　was　less　than　I　would　suppose。

He　took　me　into　his　box；　where　there　was　a　fire；　a　desk　for　an
official　book　in　which　he　had　to　make　certain　entries；　a
telegraphic　instrument　with　its　dial；　face；　and　needles；　and　the
little　bell　of　which　he　had　spoken。　　On　my　trusting　that　he　would
excuse　the　remark　that　he　had　been　well　educated；　and　（I　hoped　I
might　say　without　offence）　perhaps　educated　above　that　station；　he
observed　that　instances　of　slight　incongruity　in　such　wise　would
rarely　be　found　wanting　among　large　bodies　of　men；　that　he　had
heard　it　was　so　in　workhouses；　in　the　police　force；　even　in　that
last　desperate　resource；　the　army；　and　that　he　knew　it　was　so；　more
or　less；　in　any　great　railway　staff。　　He　had　been；　when　young　（if　I
could　believe　it；　sitting　in　that　hut；he　scarcely　could）；　a
student　of　natural　philosophy；　and　had　attended　lectures；　but　he
had　run　wild；　misused　his　opportunities；　gone　down；　and　never　risen
again。　　He　had　no　complaint　to　offer　about　that。　　He　had　made　his
bed；　and　he　lay　upon　it。　　It　was　far　too　late　to　make　another。

All　that　I　have　here　condensed　he　said　in　a　quiet　manner；　with　his
grave　dark　regards　divided　between　me　and　the　fire。　　He　threw　in
the　word；　〃Sir；〃　from　time　to　time；　and　especially　when　he　referred
to　his　youth；as　though　to　request　me　to　understand　that　he
claimed　to　be　nothing　but　what　I　found　him。　　He　was　several　times
interrupted　by　the　little　bell；　and　had　to　read　off　messages；　and
send　replies。　　Once　he　had　to　stand　without　the　door；　and　display　a
flag　as　a　train　passed；　and　make　some　verbal　communication　to　the
driver。　　In　the　discharge　of　his　duties；　I　observed　him　to　be
remarkably　exact　and　vigilant；　breaking　off　his　discourse　at　a
syllable；　and　remaining　silent　until　what　he　had　to　do　was　done。

In　a　word；　I　should　have　set　this　man　down　as　one　of　the　safest　of
men　to　be　employed　in　that　capacity；　but　for　the　circumstance　that
while　he　was　speaking　to　me　he　twice　broke　off　with　a　fallen　color；
turned　his　face　towards　the　little　bell　when　it　did　NOT　ring；
opened　the　door　of　the　hut　（which　was　kept　shut　to　exclude　the
unhealthy　damp）；　and　looked　out　towards　the　red　light　near　the
mouth　of　the　tunnel。　　On　both　of　those　occasions；　he　came　back　to
the　fire　with　the　inexplicable　air　upon　him　which　I　had　remarked；
without　being　able　to　define；　when　we　were　so　far　asunder。

Said　I；　when　I　rose　to　leave　him；　〃You　almost　make　me　think　that　I
have　met　with　a　contented　man。〃

（I　am　afraid　I　must　acknowledge　that　I　said　it　to　lead　him　on。）

〃I　believe　I　used　to　be　so；〃　he　rejoined；　in　the　low　voice　in　which
he　had　first　spoken；　〃but　I　am　troubled；　sir；　I　am　troubled。〃

He　would　have　recalled　the　words　if　he　could。　　He　had　said　them；
however；　and　I　took　them　up　quickly。

〃With　what？　　What　is　your　trouble？〃

〃It　is　very　difficult　to　impart；　sir。　　It　is　very；　very　difficult
to　speak　of。　　If　ever　you　make　me　another　visit；　I　will　try　to　tell
you。〃

〃But　I　expressly　intend　to　make　you　another　visit。　　Say；　when　shall
it　be？〃

〃I　go　off　early　in　the　morning；　and　I　shall　be　on　again　at　ten　to…
morrow　night；　sir。〃

〃I　will　come　at　eleven。〃

He　thanked　me；　and　went　out　at　the　door　with　me。　　〃I'll　show　my
white　light；　sir；〃　he　said；　in　his　peculiar　low　voice；　〃till　you
have　found　the　way　up。　　When　you　have　found　it；　don't　call　out！
And　when　you　are　at　the　top；　don't　call　out！〃

His　manner　seemed　to　make　the　place　strike　colder　to　me；　but　I　said
no　more　than；　〃Very　well。〃

〃And　when　you　come　down　to…morrow　night；　don't　call　out！　　Let　me
ask　you　a　parting　question。　　What　made　you　cry；　'Halloa！　　Below
there！'　to…night？〃

〃Heaven　knows；〃　said　I。　　〃I　cried　something　to　that　effect〃

〃Not　to　that　effect；　sir。　　Those　were　the　very　words。　　I　know　them
well。〃

〃Admit　those　were　the　very　words。　　I　said　them；　no　doubt；　because　I
saw　you　below。〃

〃For　no　other　reason？〃

〃What　other　reason　could　I　possibly　have？〃

〃You　had　no　feeling　that　they　were　conveyed　to　you　in　any
supernatural　way？〃

〃No。〃

He　wished　me　good…night；　and　held　up　his　light。　　I　walked　by　the
side　of　the　down　Line　of　rails　（with　a　very　disagreeable　sensation
of　a　train　coming　behind　me）　until　I　found　the　path。　　It　was　easier
to　mount　than　to　descend；　and　I　got　back　to　my　inn　without　any
adventure。

Punctual　to　my　appointment；　I　placed　my　foot　on　the　first　notch　of
the　zigzag　next　night；　as　the　distant　clocks　were　striking　eleven。
He　was　waiting　for　me　at　the　bottom；　with　his　white　light　on。　　〃I
have　not　called　out；〃　I　said；　when　we　came　close　together；　〃may　I
speak　now？〃　　〃By　all　means；　sir。〃　　〃Good…night；　then；　and　here's　my
hand。〃　　〃Good…night；　sir；　and　here's　mine。〃　　With　that　we　walked
side　by　side　to　his　box；　entered　it；　closed　the　door；　and　sat　down
by　the　fire。

〃I　have　made　up　my　mind；　sir；〃　he　began；　bending　forward　as　soon　as
we　were　seated；　and　speaking　in　a　tone　but　a　little　above　a
whisper；　〃that　you　shall　not　have　to　ask　me　twice　what　troubles　me。
I　took　you　for　some　one　else　yesterday　evening。　　That　troubles　me。〃

〃That　mistake？〃

〃No。　　That　some　one　else。〃

〃Who　is　it？〃

〃I　don't　know。〃

〃Like　me？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　I　never　saw　the　face。　　The　left　arm　is　across　the
face；　and　the　right　arm　is　waved；violently　waved。　　This　way。〃

I　followed　his　action　with　my　eyes；　and　it　was　the　action　of　an　arm
gesticulating；　with　the　utmost　passion　and　vehemence；　〃For　God's
sake；　clear　the　way！〃

〃One　moonlight　night；〃　said　the　man；　〃I　was　sitting　here；　when　I
heard　a　voice　cry；　'Halloa！　　Below　there！'　　I　started　up；　looked
from　that　door；　and　saw　this　Someone　else　standing　by　the　red　light
near　the　tunnel；　waving　as　I　just　now　showed　you。　　The　voice　seemed
hoarse　with　shouting；　and　it　cried；　'Look　out！　　Look　out！'　　And
then　attain；　'Halloa！　　Below　there！　　Look　out！'　　I　caught　up　my
lamp；　turned　it　on　red；　and　ran　towards　the　figure；　calling；
'What's　wrong？　　What　has　happened？　　Where？'　　It　stood　just　outside
the　blackness　of　the　tunnel。　　I　advanced　so　close　upon　it　that　I
wondered　at　its　keeping　the　sleeve　across　its　eyes。　　I　ran　right　up
at　it；　and　had　my　hand　stretched　out　to　pull　the　sleeve　away；　when
it　was　gone。〃

〃Into　the　tunnel？〃　said　I。

〃No。　　I　ran　on　into　the　tunnel；　five　hundred　yards。　　I　stopped；　and
held　my　lamp　above　my　head；　and　saw　the　figures　of　the　measured
distance；　and　saw　the　wet　stains　stealing　down　the　walls　and
trickling　through　the　arch。　　I　ran　out　again　faster　than　I　had　run
in　（for　I　had　a　mortal　abhorrence　of　the　place　upon　me）；　and　I
looked　all　round　the　red　light　with　my　own　red　light；　and　I　went　up
the　iron　ladder　to　the　gallery　atop　of　it；　and　I　came　down　again；
and　ran　back　here。　　I　telegraphed　both　ways；　'An　alarm　has　been
given。　　Is　anything　wrong？'　　The　answer　came　back；　both　ways；　'All
well。'〃

Resisting　the　slow　touch　of　a　frozen　finger　tracing　out　my　spine；　I