化身博士-第8节

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Then，when　Hyde　thought　the　driver　was　beginning　to　sus…pect　something，he　sent　the　taxicab　away　and　continued　onfoot．He　was　a　strange　figure　in　his　too…large　clothes，withfear　and　hate　staring　out　of　his　eyes．He　walked　along　talkingto　himself．Once　a　woman　spoke　to　him　‘Will　you　buy　my　matches，sir？’she　begged．Hyde　hit　heracross　the　face，and　she　ran　away　in　fear。

My　plan　was　successful．And　when　I　arrived　in　Lanyon's　house，I　took　the　dose　of　the　drug　that　returned　me　to　my　nor…mal　appearance．

Immediately　afterwards　I　felt　deeply　ashamed．Perhaps　itwas　Lanyon's　horror　that　made　me　feel　like　that。I　do　notknow．But　I　hated　myself　and　I　was　conscious　of　an　importantchange　in　my　feelings．I　was　no　longer　afraid　of　the　police…Iwas　afraid　of　Hyde　himself．The　thought　of　his　short，strong，hairy　body　and　his　evil，cruel，wholly　selfish　mind　filled　mewith　horror．

Exhausted　by　the　horrors　of　that　day，I　slept　heavily．Iwoke　in　the　morning　feeling　weak　and　shaky，but　quitenormal．I　still　hated　and　feared　the　thought　of　the　wild　animalinside　me，and　I　had　not　forgotten　the　desperate　dangers　of　theday　before．But　I　was　at　home　and　close　to　my　drugs，and　Iwas　most　deeply　grateful　for　my　escape．

I　was　walking　across　the　garden　after　breakfast，enjoyingthe　clear　wintry　air，when　suddenly　my　body　was　again　tornby　those　indescribable　feelings　which　I　always　experienced　af…ter　a　dose　of　the　drug．I　only　just　reached　my　study　before　Iwas　again　burning　and　freezing　with　the　violent　passions　ofHyde．With　feverish　speed　I　mixed　the　drug．This　time　I　hadto　take　a　double　dose　to　return　to　my　old　shape．And　then，on…ly　six　hours　later，the　pains　returned　and　I　had　to　repeat　thedose．

From　that　day　onwards　the　situation　worsened．I　neededlarger　and　more　frequent　doses　in　order　to　stay　in　Jekyll's　body．The　pains　came　unexpectedly，but　most　of　all　when　Iwas　asleep．I　was　afraid　to　go　to　bed，or　even　to　sleep　for　afew　moments　in　my　chair．If　I　did　so，I　always　woke　as　Hyde．

Soon　Jekyll　was　a　sick　man，feverish　and　weakened　by　painand　fear．As　Jekyll　grew　weaker，Hyde　became　stronger　thanever．He　burned　with　hate　for　everybody　and　everything．AndHyde　and　Jekyll　now　hated　each　other　with　equal　passion．Jekyll　hated　Hyde　because　Hyde　was　evil　and　inhuman，andbecause　Hyde　was　stronger　than　he　was．Jekyll　lived　in　fear　ofwaking　up　and　finding　himself　in　Hyde's　body，with　allHyde's　evil　passions．Hyde　hated　Jekyll　for　a　different　reason．His　fear　of　death…the　punishment　for　murder…drove　him　tothe　hiding…place　of　Jekyll's　body．But　he　hated　this　prison　andwas　always　fighting．to　escape　from　Jekyll's　mind　and　body，and　take　control．He　also　hated　Jekyll's　weakness　and　his　sad，hopeless　condition．Most　of　all；he　hated　Jekyll's　dislike　ofhim．This　was　why　Hyde　sometimes　did　things　to　annoyJekyll．He　tore　the　doctor's　books　and　wrote　all　over　them。He　burned　his　letters　and　even　destroyed　a　picture　of　thedoctor's　dead　father．

Only　Hyde's　fear　of　his　own　death　stops　him　from　killingme．His　love　of　life　is　terribly　strong，and　he　knows　that　if　hekills　me，he　too　will　die．I　almost　feel　sorry　for　him．

It　is　useless　to　continue　this　confession．The　final　disasterhas　arrived，and　will　put　an　end　to　my　punishment．I　shallsoon　lose　my　own　face　and　character　for　ever．I　have　only　afew　doses　of　the　drug　left．I　sent　Poole　to　the　same　chemist　tofetch　some　more　chemicals．When　he　brought　them，I　mixed　adose　of　the　drug．The　liquid　smoked　and　changed　from　red　topurple，but　it　did　not　turn　green．I　drank　it，and　looked　in　themirror．But　there　was　no　effect．Edward　Hyde's　face　stillstared　back　at　me．

I　expect　Poole　has　told　you　that　I　have　searched　London　forthe　chemicals　I　need．It　is　no　good．I　have　decided　that　thefirst　chemicals　I　bought　were　not　absolutely　pure．By　accident，they　contained　something　unknown　to　myself　or　to　the　chemistthat　prepared　them．And　that　unknown　something　made　mydrug　effective．So　my　drug　was　an　accidental　discovery　thatcannot　be　repeated．

About　a　week　has　passed．I　have　used　the　last　of　the　oldchemicals，and　for　the　moment　I　am　Henry　Jekyll　again．But　Icannot　write　much　more…I　have　very　little　time．If　Hyde　re…turns　while　I　am　writing　this　confession，he　will　tear　it　topieces　to　annoy　me．If　I　finish　it，however，he　will　probablynot　notice　it．He　lives　only　for　the　moment，and　he　is　already　achanged　man．He　is　like　a　trapped　animal　now．He　sits　in　mychair　trembling　and　weeping　with　hate　and　fear．All　the　timehe　listens　for　the　policeman's　knock　at　the　door．Will　he　becaught　at　last，and　put　to　death？Or　will　he　be　brave　enough　totake　a　dose　of　poison　at　the　last　moment？

Well，that　is　not　my　business．This　is　the　true　hour　of　mydeath．When　you　read　this，the　Henry　Jekyll　you　know　will　bedead．The　rest　of　the　story　is　about　Edward　Hyde．Now，as　Iput　down　my　pen，I　bring　the　life　of　unhappy　Henry　Jekyll　toan　end．

　　



　

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