the law and the lady-第85节

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for　her　permission　to　open　his　lips　and　speak。　Whenever　she
interrupted　himand　she　did　it；　over　and　over　again；　without
ceremonyhe　submitted　with　a　senile　docility　and　admiration；　at
once　absurd　and　shocking　to　see。

〃Isn't　she　beautiful？〃　he　said　to　me　（in　his　wife's　hearing！）。
〃What　a　figure；　and　what　a　voice！　You　remember　her　voice？　It's　a
loss；　my　dear　lady；　an　irretrievable　loss；　to　the　operatic　stage！
Do　you　know；　when　I　think　what　that　grand　creature　might　have
done；　I　sometimes　ask　myself　if　I　really　had　any　right　to　marry
her。　I　feel；　upon　my　honor　I　feel；　as　if　I　had　committed　a　fraud
on　the　public！〃

As　for　the　favored　object　of　this　quaint　mixture　of　admiration
and　regret；　she　was　pleased　to　receive　me　graciously；　as　an　old
friend。　While　Eustace　was　talking　to　the　Major；　the　bride　drew　me
aside　out　of　their　hearing；　and　explained　her　motives　for
marrying；　with　a　candor　which　was　positively　shameless。

〃You　see　we　are　a　large　family　at　home；　quite　unprovided　for！〃
this　odious　young　woman　whispered　in　my　ear。　〃It's　all　very　well
about　my　being　a　'Queen　of　Song'　and　the　rest　of　it。　Lord　bless
you；　I　have　been　often　enough　to　the　opera；　and　I　have　learned
enough　of　my　music…master；　to　know　what　it　takes　to　make　a　fine
singer。　I　haven't　the　patience　to　work　at　it　as　those　foreign
women　do：　a　parcel　of　brazen…faced　JezebelsI　hat　e　them！　No！
no！　between　you　and　me；　it　was　a　great　deal　easier　to　get　the
money　by　marrying　the　old　gentleman。　Here　I　am；　provided　forand
there's　all　my　family　provided　for；　tooand　nothing　to　do　but　to
spend　the　money。　I　am　fond　of　my　family；　I'm　a　good　daughter　and
sister_I_　am！　See　how　I'm　dressed；　look　at　the　furniture：　I
haven't　played　my　cards　badly；　have　I？　It's　a　great　advantage　to
marry　an　old　manyou　can　twist　him　round　your　little　finger。
Happy？　Oh；　yes！　I'm　quite　happy；　and　I　hope　you　are；　too。　Where
are　you　living　now？　I　shall　call　soon；　and　have　a　long　gossip
with　you。　I　always　had　a　sort　of　liking　for　you；　and　（now　I'm　as
good　as　you　are）　I　want　to　be　friends。〃

I　made　a　short　and　civil　reply　to　this；　determining　inwardly　that
when　she　did　visit　me　she　should　get　no　further　than　the
house…door。　I　don't　scruple　to　say　that　I　was　thoroughly
disgusted　with　her。　When　a　woman　sells　herself　to　a　man；　that
vile　bargain　is　none　the　less　infamous　（to　my　mind）　because　it
happens　to　be　made　under　the　sanction　of　the　Church　and　the　Law。

As　I　sit　at　the　desk　thinking；　the　picture　of　the　Major　and　his
wife　vanishes　from　my　memoryand　the　last　scene　in　my　story
comes　slowly　into　view。

The　place　is　my　bedroom。　The　persons　（both；　if　you　will　be
pleased　to　excuse　them；　in　bed）　are　myself　and　my　son。　He　is
already　three　weeks　old；　and　he　is　now　lying　fast　asleep　by　his
mother's　side。　My　good　Uncle　Starkweather　is　coming　to　London　to
baptize　him。　Mrs。　Macallan　will　be　his　godmother；　and　his
godfathers　will　be　Benjamin　and　Mr。　Playmore。　I　wonder　whether　my
christening　will　pass　off　more　merrily　than　my　wedding？

The　doctor　has　just　left　the　house；　in　some　little　perplexity
about　me。　He　has　found　me　reclining　as　usual　（latterly）　in　my
arm…chair；　but　on　this　particular　day　he　has　detected　symptoms　of
exhaustion；　which　he　finds　quite　unaccountable　under　the
circumstances；　and　which　warn　him　to　exert　his　authority　by
sending　me　back　to　my　bed。

The　truth　is　that　I　have　not　taken　the　doctor　into　my　confidence。
There　are　two　causes　for　those　signs　of　exhaustion　which　have
surprised　my　medical　attendantand　the　names　of　them
areAnxiety　and　Suspense。

On　this　day　I　have　at　last　summoned　courage　enough　to　perform　the
promise　which　I　made　to　my　husband　in　Paris。　He　is　informed；　by
this　time；　how　his　wife's　Confession　was　discovered。　He　knows　（on
Mr。　Playmore's　authority）　that　the　letter　may　be　made　the　means；
if　he　so　will　it；　of　publicly　vindicating　his　innocence　in　a
Court　of　Law。　And；　last　and　most　important　of　all；　he　is　now
aware　that　the　Confession　itself　has　been　kept　a　sealed　secret
from　him；　out　of　compassionate　regard　for　his　own　peace　of　mind；
as　well　as　for　the　memory　of　the　unhappy　woman　who　was　once　his
wife。

These　necessary　disclosures　I　have　communicated　to　my
husbandnot　by　word　of　mouth；　when　the　time　came；　I　shrank　from
speaking　to　him　personally　of　his　first　wifebut　by　a　written
statement　of　the　circumstances；　taken　mainly　out　of　my　letters
received　in　Paris　from　Benjamin　and　Mr。　Playmore。　He　has　now　had
ample　time　to　read　all　that　I　have　written　to　him；　and　to　reflect
on　it　in　the　retirement　of　his　own　study。　I　am　waiting；　with　the
fatal　letter　in　my　handand　my　mother…in…law　is　waiting　in　the
next　room　to　meto　hear　from　his　own　lips　whether　he　decides　to
break　the　seal　or　not。

The　minutes　pass；　and　still　we　fail　to　hear　his　footstep　on　the
stairs。　My　doubts　as　to　which　way　his　decision　may　turn　affect　me
more　and　more　uneasily　the　longer　I　wait。　The　very　possession　of
the　letter；　in　the　present　excited　state　of　my　nerves；　oppresses
and　revolts　me。　I　shrink　from　touching　it　or　looking　at　it。　I
move　it　about　restlessly　from　place　to　place　on　the　bed；　and
still　I　cannot　keep　it　out　of　my　mind。　At　last；　an　odd　fancy
strikes　me。　I　lift　up　one　of　the　baby's　hands；　and　put　the　letter
under　itand　so　associate　that　dreadful　record　of　sin　and　misery
with　something　innocent　and　pretty　that　seems　to　hallow　and　to
purify　it。

The　minutes　pass；　the　half…hour　longer　strikes　from　the　clock　on
the　chimney…piece；　and　at　last　I　hear　him！　He　knocks　softly；　and
opens　the　door。

He　is　deadly　pale：　I　fancy　I　can　detect　traces　of　tears　on　his
cheeks。　But　no　outward　signs　of　agitation　escape　him　as　he　takes
his　seat　by　my　side。　I　can　see　that　he　has　waited　until　he　could
control　himselffor　my　sake。

He　takes　my　hand；　and　kisses　me　tenderly。

〃Valeria！〃　he　says；　〃let　me　once　more　ask　you　to　forgive　what　I
said　and　did　in　the　bygone　time。　If　I　understand　nothing　else；　my
love；　I　understand　this：　The　proof　of　my　innocence　has　been
found；　and　I　owe　it　entirely　to　the　courage　and　the　devotion　of
my　wife！〃

I　wait　a　little；　to　enjoy　the　full　luxury　of　hearing　him　say
those　wordsto　revel　in　the　love　and　the　gratitude　that　moisten
his　dear　eyes　as　they　look　at　me。　Then　I　rouse　my　resolution；　and
put　the　momentous　question　on　which　our　future　depends。

〃Do　you　wish　to　see　the　letter；　Eustace？〃

Instead　of　answering　directly；　he　questions　me　in　his　turn。

〃Have　you　got　the　letter　here？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Sealed　up？〃

〃Sealed　up。〃

He　waits　a　little；　considering　what　he　is　going　to　say　next
before　he　says　it；

〃Let　me　be　sure　that　I　know　exactly　what　it　is　I　have　to　decide；〃
he　proceeds。　〃Suppose　I　insist　on　reading　the　letter？〃

There　I　interrupt　him。　I　know　it　is　my　duty　to　restrain　myself。
But　I　cannot　do　my　duty。

〃My　darling；　don't　talk　of　reading　the　letter！　Pray；　pray　spare
yourself〃

He　holds　up　his　hand　for　silence。

〃I　am　not　thinking　of　myself；〃　he　says。　〃I　am　thinking　of　my　dead
wife。　If　I　give　up　the　public　vindication　of　my　innocence；　in　my
own　lifetimeif　I　leave　the　seal　of　the　letter　unbrokendo　you
say；　as　Mr。　Playmore　says；　that　I　shall　be　acting　mercifully　and
tenderly　toward　the　memory　of　my　wife？〃

〃Oh；　Eustace；　there　cannot　be　the　shadow　of　a　doubt　of　it！〃

〃Shall　I　be　making　some　little　atonement　for　any　pain　that　I　may
have　thoughtlessly　caused　her　to　suffer　in　her　lifetime？〃

〃Yes！　yes！〃

〃And；　Valeriashall　I　please　You？〃

〃My　darling；　you　will　enchant　me！〃

〃Where　is　the　letter？〃

〃In　your　son's　hand；　Eustace。〃

He　goes　around　to　the　other　side　of　the　bed；　and　lifts　the　baby's
little　pink　hand　to　his　lips。　For　a　while　he　waits　so；　in　sad　and
secret　communion　with　himself。　I　see　his　mother　softly　open　the
door；　and　watch　him　as　I　am　watching　him。　In　a　moment　more　our
suspense　is　at　an　end。　With　a　heavy　sigh；　he　lays　the　child's
hand　back　again　on　the　sealed　letter；　and　by　that　one　little
action　says　（as　if　in　words）　to　his　son〃I　leave　it　to　You！〃

　And　so　it　ended！　Not　as　I　thought　it　would　end；　not　perhaps　as
you　thought　it　would　end。　What　do　we　know　of　our　own　lives？　What
do　we　know　of　the　fulfillment　of　our　dearest　wishes？　God
knowsand　that　is　best。

Must　I　shut　up　the　paper？　Yes。　There　is　nothing　more　for　you　to
read　or　for　me　to　say。

Except　thisas　a　postscript。　Don't　bear　hardly；　good　people；　on
the　follies　and　the　errors　of　my　husband's　life。　Abuse　_me_　as
much　as　you　please。　But　pray　think　kindly　of　Eustace　for　my　sake。







End