the law and the lady-第82节

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answer　to　his　proposals。　Has　this　false　wretch　any　conscience？　If
he　has；　even　he　will　sufferwhen　my　death　answers　him。

〃The　nurse　has　been　in　my　room　again。　I　have　sent　her　away。　I
have　told　her　I　want　to　be　alone。

〃How　is　the　time　going？　I　cannot　find　my　watch。　Is　the　pain
coming　back　again　and　paralyzing　me？　I　don't　feel　it　keenly　yet。

〃It　may　come　back；　though；　at　any　moment。　I　have　still　to　close
my　letter　and　to　address　it　to　you。　And；　besides；　I　must　save　up
my　strength　to　hide　it　under　the　pillow；　so　that　nobody　may　find
it　until　after　my　death。

〃Farewell；　my　dear。　I　wish　I　had　been　a　prettier　woman。　A　more
loving　woman　（toward　you）　I　could　not　be。　Even　now　I　dread　the
sight　of　your　dear　face。　Even　now；　if　I　allowed　myself　the　luxury
of　looking　at　you；　I　don't　know　that　you　might　not　charm　me　into
confessing　what　I　have　donebefore　it　is　too　late　to　save　me。

〃But　you　are　not　here。　Better　as　it　is！　better　as　it　is！

〃Once　more；　farewell！　Be　happier　than　you　have　been　with　me。　I
love　you；　EustaceI　forgive　you。　When　you　have　nothing　else　to
think　about；　think　sometimes；　as　kindly　as　you　can；　of　your　poor；
ugly

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃SARA　MACALLAN。〃*

…　*　Note　by　Mr。　Playmore：

The　lost　words　and　phrases　supplied　in　this　concluding　portion　of
the　letter　are　so　few　in　number　that　it　is　needless　to　mention
them。　The　fragments　which　were　found　accidentally　stuck　together
by　the　gum；　and　which　represent　the　part　of　the　letter　first
completely　reconstructed；　begin　at　the　phrase；　〃I　spoke　of　you
shamefully；　Eustace；〃　and　end　with　the　broken　sentence；　〃If　in
paying　me　this　little　attention；　you　only　encouraged　me　by　one
fond　word　or　one　fond　look；　I　resolved　not　to　take〃　With　the
assistance　thus　afforded　to　us；　the　labor　of　putting　together　the
concluding　half　of　the　letter　（dated　〃October　20〃）　was　trifling；
compared　with　the　almost　insurmountable　difficulties　which　we
encountered　in　dealing　with　the　scattered　wreck　of　the　preceding
pages。　…


CHAPTER　XLVIII。

WHAT　ELSE　COULD　I　DO？

　As　soon　as　I　could　dry　my　eyes　and　compose　my　spirits　after
reading　the　wife's　pitiable　and　dreadful　farewell；　my　first
thought　was　of　Eustacemy　first　anxiety　was　to　prevent　him　from
ever　reading　what　I　had　read。

Yes！　to　this　end　it　had　come。　I　had　devoted　my　life　to　the
attainment　of　one　object；　and　that　object　I　had　gained。　There；　on
the　table　before　me；　lay　the　triumphant　vindication　of　my
husband's　innocence；　and；　in　mercy　to　him；　in　mercy　to　the　memory
of　his　dead　wife；　my　one　hope　was　that　he　might　never　see　it！　my
one　desire　was　to　hide　it　from　the　public　view！

I　looked　back　at　the　strange　circumstances　under　which　the　letter
had　been　discovered。

It　was　all　my　doingas　the　lawyer　had　said。　And　yet；　what　I　had
done；　I　had；　so　to　speak；　done　blindfold。　The　merest　accident
might　have　altered　the　whole　course　of　later　events。　I　had　over
and　over　again　interfered　to　check　Ariel　when　she　entreated　the
Master　to　〃tell　her　a　story。〃　If　she　had　not　succeeded；　in　spite
of　my　opposition；　Miserrimus　Dexter's　last　effort　of　memory　might
never　have　been　directed　to　the　tragedy　at　Gleninch。　And；　again；
if　I　had　only　remembered　to　move　my　chair；　and　so　to　give
Benjamin　the　signal　to　leave　off；　he　would　never　have　written
down　the　apparently　senseless　words　which　have　led　us　to　the
discovery　of　the　truth。

Looking　back　at　events　in　this　frame　of　mind；　the　very　sight　of
the　letter　sickened　and　horrified　me。　I　cursed　the　day　which　had
disinterred　the　fragments　of　it　from　their　foul　tomb。　Just　at　the
time　when　Eustace　had　found　his　weary　way　back　to　health　and
strength；　just　at　the　time　when　we　were　united　again　and　happy
againwhen　a　month　or　two　more　might　make　us　father　and　mother；
as　well　as　husband　and　wifethat　frightful　record　of　suffering
and　sin　had　risen　against　us　like　an　avenging　spirit。　　There　it
faced　me　on　the　table；　threatening　my　husband's　tranqu　illity；
nay；　for　all　I　knew　（if　he　read　it　at　the　present　critical　stage
of　his　recovery）　even　threatening　his　life！

The　hour　struck　from　the　clock　on　the　mantelpiece。　It　was
Eustace's　time　for　paying　me　his　morning　visit　in　my　own　little
room。　He　might　come　in　at　any　moment；　he　might　see　the　letter；　he
might　snatch　the　letter　out　of　my　hand。　In　a　frenzy　of　terror　and
loathing；　I　caught　up　the　vile　sheets　of　paper　and　threw　them
into　the　fire。

It　was　a　fortunate　thing　that　a　copy　only　had　been　sent　to　me。　If
the　original　letter　had　been　in　its　place；　I　believe　I　should
have　burned　the　original　at　that　moment。

The　last　morsel　of　paper　had　been　barely　consumed　by　the　flames
when　the　door　opened；　and　Eustace　came　in。

He　glanced　at　the　fire。　The　black　cinders　of　the　burned　paper
were　still　floating　at　the　back　of　the　grate。　He　had　seen　the
letter　brought　to　me　at　the　breakfast…table。　Did　he　suspect　what
I　had　done？　He　said　nothinghe　stood　gravely　looking　into　the
fire。　Then　he　advanced　and　fixed　his　eyes　on　me。　I　suppose　I　was
very　pale。　The　first　words　he　spoke　were　words　which　asked　me　if
I　felt　ill。

I　was　determined　not　to　deceive　him；　even　in　the　merest　trifle。

〃I　am　feeling　a　little　nervous；　Eustace；〃　I　answered；　〃that　is
all。〃

He　looked　at　me　again；　as　if　he　expected　me　to　say　something
more。　I　remained　silent。　He　took　a　letter　out　of　the
breast…pocket　of　his　coat　and　laid　it　on　the　table　before
mejust　where　the　Confession　had　lain　before　I　destroyed　it！

〃I　have　had　a　letter　too　this　morning；〃　he　said。　〃And　_I；_
Valeria；　have　no　secrets　from　_you。_〃

I　understood　the　reproach　which　my　husband's　last　words　conveyed；
but　I　made　no　attempt　to　answer　him。

〃Do　you　wish　me　to　read　it？〃　was　all　I　said　pointing　to　the
envelope　which　he　had　laid　on　the　table。

〃I　have　already　said　that　I　have　no　secrets　from　you；〃　he
repeated。　〃The　envelope　is　open。　See　for　yourself　what　is
inclosed　in　it。〃

I　took　outnot　a　letter；　but　a　printed　paragraph；　cut　from　a
Scotch　newspaper。

〃Read　it；〃　said　Eustace。

I　read　as　follows：

　〃STRANGE　DOINGS　AT　GLENINCHA　romance　in　real　life　seems　to　be
in　course　of　progress　at　Mr。　Macallan's　country…house。　Private
excavations　are　taking　placeif　our　readers　will　pardon　us　the
unsavory　allusionat　the　dust…heap；　of　all　places　in　the　world！
Something　has　assuredly　been　discovered；　but　nobody　knows　what。
This　alone　is　certain：　For　weeks　past　two　strangers　from　London
（superintended　by　our　respected　fellow…citizen；　Mr。　Playmore）
have　been　at　work　night　and　day　in　the　library　at　Gleninch；　with
the　door　locked。　Will　the　secret　ever　be　revealed？　And　will　it
throw　any　light　on　a　mysterious　and　shocking　event　which　our
readers　have　learned　to　associate　with　the　past　history　of
Gleninch？　Perhaps　when　Mr。　Macallan　returns；　he　may　be　able　to
answer　these　questions。　In　the　meantime　we　can　only　await
events。〃

　I　laid　the　newspaper　slip　on　the　table；　in　no　very　Christian
frame　of　mind　toward　the　persons　concerned　in　producing　it。　Some
reporter　in　search　of　news　had　evidently　been　prying　about　the
grounds　at　Gleninch；　and　some　busy…body　in　the　neighborhood　had
in　all　probability　sent　the　published　paragraph　to　Eustace。
Entirely　at　a　loss　what　to　do；　I　waited　for　my　husband　to　speak。
He　did　not　keep　me　in　suspensehe　questioned　me　instantly。

〃Do　you　understand　what　it　means；　Valeria？〃

I　answered　honestlyI　owned　that　I　understood　what　it　meant。

He　waited　again；　as　if　he　expected　me　to　say　more。　I　still　kept
the　only　refuge　left　to　methe　refuge　of　silence。

〃Am　I　to　know　no　more　than　I　know　now？〃　he　proceeded；　after　an
interval。　〃Are　you　not　bound　to　tell　me　what　is　going　on　in　my
own　house？〃

It　is　a　common　remark　that　people；　if　they　can　think　at　all；
think　quickly　in　emergencies。　There　was　but　one　way　out　of　the
embarrassing　position　in　which　my　husband's　last　words　had　placed
me。　My　instincts　showed　me　the　way；　I　suppose。　At　any　rate；　I
took　it。

〃You　have　promised　to　trust　me；〃　I　began。

He　admitted　that　he　had　promised。

〃I　must　ask　you；　for　your　own　sake；　Eustace；　to　trust　me　for　a
little　while　longer。　I　will　satisfy　you；　if　you　will　only　give　me
time。〃

His　face　darkened。　〃How　much　longer　must　I　wait？〃　he　asked。

I　saw　that　the　time　had　come　for　trying　some　stronger　form　of
persuasion　than　words。

〃Kiss　me；〃　I　said；　〃before　I　tell　you！〃

He　hesitated　（so　like　a　husband！）。　And　I　persisted　（so　like　a
wife！）。　There　was　no　choice　for　him　but　to　yield。　Having　given　me
my　kiss　（not　over…graciously）；　he　insisted　once　more　on　knowing
how　much　longer　I　wanted　him　to　wait。

〃I　want　you　to　wait；〃　I　answered；　〃until　our　child　is　born。〃

He　started。　My　condition　took　him　by　surprise。　I　gently　pressed
his　hand；　and　gave　him　a　look。　He　returned　the　look　（warmly
enough；　this　time；　to　satisfy　me）。　〃Say　you　consent；〃　I
whispered。

He　consented。

So　I　put　off　the　day　of　reckoning　once　more。　So　I　gained　time　to
consult　again　with　Benjamin　and　Mr。　Playmore。

While　Eustace　remained　with　me　in　the　room；　I　was　composed；　and
capable　of　talking　to　him。　But　when　he　left　me；　after　a　time；　to
think　over　what　had　passed　between　us；　and　to　remember　how　kindly
he　had　given　way　to　me；　my　heart　turned　pityin