the law and the lady-第75节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


do　you　think　she　will　forgive　me？'　We　can　only　leave　it　to　you；
my　dear；　to　give　the　answer。　If　you　love　us；　answer　us　by　return
of　post。

〃Having　now　told　you　what　he　said　when　I　first　informed　him　that
you　had　been　his　nurseand　remember；　if　it　seem　very　little；
that　he　is　still　too　weak　to　speak　except　with　difficultyI
shall　purposely　keep　my　letter　back　for　a　few　days。　My　object　is
to　give　him　time　to　think；　and　to　frankly　tell　you　of　it　if　the
interval　produce　any　change　in　his　resolution。

〃Three　days　have　passed；　and　there　is　no　change。　He　has　but　one
feeling　nowhe　longs　for　the　day　which　is　to　unite　him　again　to
his　wife。

〃But　there　is　something　else　connected　with　Eustace　that　you
ought　to　know；　and　that　I　ought　to　tell　you。

〃Greatly　as　time　and　suffering　have　altered　him　in　many　respects；
there　is　no　change；　Valeria；　in　the　aversionthe　horror　I　may
even　saywith　which　he　views　your　idea　of　inquiring　anew　into
the　circumstances　which　attended　the　lamentable　death　of　his
first　wife。　It　makes　no　difference　to　him　that　you　are　only
animated　by　a　desire　to　serve　his　interests。　'Has　she　given　up
that　idea？　Are　you　positively　sure　she　has　given　up　that　idea？'
Over　and　over　again　he　has　put　these　questions　to　me。　I　have
answeredwhat　else　could　I　do　in　the　miserably　feeble　state　in
which　he　still　lies？I　have　answered　in　such　a　manner　as　to
soothe　and　satisfy　him。　I　have　said；　'Relieve　your　mind　of　all
anxiety　on　that　subject：　Valeria　has　no　choice　but　to　give　up　the
idea；　the　obstacles　in　her　way　have　proved　to　be
insurmountablethe　obstacles　have　conquered　her。'　This；　if　you
remember；　was　what　I　really　believed　would　happen　when　you　and　I
spoke　of　that　painful　topic；　and　I　have　heard　nothing　from　you
since　which　has　tended　to　shake　my　opinion　in　the　smallest
degree。　If　I　am　right　（as　I　pray　God　I　may　be）　in　the　view　that　I
take；　you　h　ave　only　to　confirm　me　in　your　reply；　and　all　will　be
well。　In　the　other　eventthat　is　to　say；　if　you　are　still
determined　to　persevere　in　your　hopeless　projectthen　make　up
your　mind　to　face　the　result。　Set　Eustace's　prejudices　at
defiance　in　this　particular；　and　you　lose　your　hold　on　his
gratitude；　his　penitence；　and　his　loveyou　will；　in　my　belief；
never　see　him　again。

〃I　express　myself　strongly；　in　your　own　interests；　my　dear；　and
for　your　own　sake。　When　you　reply；　write　a　few　lines　to　Eustace；
inclosed　in　your　letter　to　me。

〃As　for　the　date　of　our　departure；　it　is　still　impossible　for　me
to　give　you　any　definite　information。　Eustace　recovers　very
slowly；　the　doctor　has　not　yet　allowed　him　to　leave　his　bed；　and
when　we　do　travel　we　must　journey　by　easy　stages。　It　will　be　at
least　six　weeks；　at　the　earliest；　before　we　can　hope　to　be　back
again　in　dear　Old　England。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Affectionately　yours；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃CATHERINE　MACALLAN。〃

　I　laid　down　the　letter；　and　did　my　best　（vainly　enough　for　some
time）　to　compose　my　spirits。　To　understand　the　position　in　which
I　now　found　myself；　it　is　only　necessary　to　remember　one
circumstance：　the　messenger　to　whom　we　had　committed　our
inquiries　was　at　that　moment　crossing　the　Atlantic　on　his　way　to
New　York。

What　was　to　be　done？

I　hesitated。　Shocking　as　it　may　seem　to　some　people；　I　hesitated。
There　was　really　no　need　to　hurry　my　decision。　I　had　the　whole
day　before　me。

I　went　out　and　took　a　wretched；　lonely　walk；　and　turned　the
matter　over　in　my　mind。　I　came　home　again；　and　turned　the　matter
over　once　more　by　the　fireside。　To　offend　and　repel　my　darling
when　he　was　returning　to　me；　penitently　returning　of　his　own　free
will；　was　what　no　woman　in　my　position；　and　feeling　as　I　did；
could　under　any　earthly　circumstances　have　brought　herself　to　do。
And　yet。　on　the　other　hand；　how　in　Heaven's　name　could　I　give　up
my　grand　enterprise　at　the　very　time　when　even　wise　and　prudent
Mr。　Playmore　saw　such　a　prospect　of　succeeding　in　it　that　he　had
actually　volunteered　to　help　me？　Placed　between　those　two　cruel
alternatives；　which　could　I　choose？　Think　of　your　own　frailties；
and　have　some　mercy　on　mine。　I　turned　my　back　on　both　the
alternatives。　Those　two　agreeable　fiends；　Prevarication　and
Deceit；　took　me；　as　it　were；　softly　by　the　hand：　〃Don't　commit
yourself　either　way；　my　dear；〃　they　said；　in　their　most
persuasive　manner。　〃Write　just　enough　to　compose　your
mother…in…law　and　to　satisfy　your　husband。　You　have　got　time
before　you。　Wait　and　see　if　Time　doesn't　stand　your　friend；　and
get　you　out　of　the　difficulty。〃

Infamous　advice！　And　yet　I　took　itI；　who　had　been　well　brought
up；　and　who　ought　to　have　known　better。　You　who　read　this
shameful　confession　would　have　known　better；　I　am　sure。　_You_　are
not　included；　in　the　Prayer…book　category；　among　the　〃miserable
sinners。〃

Well！　well！　let　me　have　virtue　enough　to　tell　the　truth。　In
writing　to　my　mother…in…law；　I　informed　her　that　it　had　been
found　necessary　to　remove　Miserrimus　Dexter　to　an　asylumand　I
left　her　to　draw　her　own　conclusions　from　that　fact；
unenlightened　by　so　much　as　one　word　of　additional　information。
In　the　same　way；　I　told　my　husband　a　part　of　the　truth；　and　no
more。　I　said　I　forgave　him　with　all　my　heartand　I　did！　I　said
he　had　only　to　come　to　me；　and　I　would　receive　him　with　open
armsand　so　I　would！　As　for　the　rest；　let　me　say　with
Hamlet〃The　rest　is　silence。〃

Having　dispatched　my　unworthy　letters；　I　found　myself　growing
restless；　and　feeling　the　want　of　a　change。　It　would　be　necessary
to　wait　at　least　eight　or　nine　days　before　we　could　hope　to　hear
by　telegraph　from　New　York。　I　bade　farewell　for　a　time　to　my　dear
and　admirable　Benjamin；　and　betook　myself　to　my　old　home　in　the
North；　at　the　vicarage　of　my　uncle　Starkweather。　My　journey　to
Spain　to　nurse　Eustace　had　made　my　peace　with　my　worthy
relatives；　we　had　exchanged　friendly　letters；　and　I　had　promised
to　be　their　guest　as　soon　as　it　was　possible　for　me　to　leave
London。

I　passed　a　quiet　and　（all　things　considered）　a　happy　time　among
the　old　scenes。　I　visited　once　more　the　bank　by　the　river…side；
where　Eustace　and　I　had　first　met。　I　walked　again　on　the　lawn　and
loitered　through　the　shrubberythose　favorite　haunts　in　which　we
had　so　often　talked　over　our　troubles；　and　so　often　forgotten
them　in　a　kiss。　How　sadly　and　strangely　had　our　lives　been　parted
since　that　time！　How　uncertain　still　was　the　fortune　which　the
future　had　in　store　for　us！

The　associations　amid　which　I　was　now　living　had　their　softening
effect　on　my　heart；　their　elevating　influence　over　my　mind。　I
reproached　myself；　bitterly　reproached　myself；　for　not　having
written　more　fully　and　frankly　to　Eustace。　Why　had　I　hesitated　to
sacrifice　to　him　my　hopes　and　my　interests　in　the　coming
investigation？　_He_　had　not　hesitated；　poor　fellow_his_　first
thought　was　the　thought　of　his　wife！

I　had　passed　a　fortnight　with　my　uncle　and　aunt　before　I　heard
again　from　Mr。　Playmore。　When　a　letter　from　him　arrived　at　last；
it　disappointed　me　indescribably。　A　telegram　from　our　messenger
informed　us　that　the　lodge…keeper's　daughter　and　her　husband　had
left　New　York；　and　that　he　was　still　in　search　of　a　trace　of
them。

There　was　nothing　to　be　done　but　to　wait　as　patiently　as　we
could；　on　the　chance　of　hearing　better　news。　I　remained　in　the
North；　by　Mr。　Playmore's　advice；　so　as　to　be　within　an　easy
journey　to　Edinburghin　case　it　might　be　necessary　for　me　to
consult　him　personally。　Three　more　weeks　of　weary　expectation
passed　before　a　second　letter　reached　me。　This　time　it　was
impossible　to　say　whether　the　news　were　good　or　bad。　It　might
have　been　eitherit　was　simply　bewildering。　Even　Mr。　Playmore
himself　was　taken　by　surprise。　These　were　the　last　wonderful
wordslimited　of　course　by　considerations　of　economywhich
reached　us　（by　telegram）　from　our　agent　in　America：

〃Open　the　dust…heap　at　Gleninch。〃



CHAPTER　XLIII。

AT　LAST！

　MY　letter　from　Mr。　Playmore；　inclosing　the　agent's　extraordinary
telegram；　was　not　inspired　by　the　sanguine　view　of　our　prospects
which　he　had　expressed　to　me　when　we　met　at　Benjamin's　house。

〃If　the　telegram　mean　anything；〃　he　wrote；　〃it　means　that　the
fragments　of　the　torn　letter　have　been　cast　into　the　housemaid's
bucket　（along　with　the　dust；　the　ashes；　and　the　rest　of　the
litter　in　the　room）；　and　have　been　emptied　on　the　dust…heap　at
Gleninch。　Since　this　was　done；　the　accumulated　refuse　collected
from　the　periodical　cleansings　of　the　house；　during　a　term　of
nearly　three　yearsincluding；　of　course；　the　ashes　from　the
fires　kept　burning；　for　the　greater　part　of　the　year；　in　the
library　and　the　picture…galleryhave　been　poured　upon　the　heap；
and　have　buried　the　precious　morsels　of　paper　deeper　and　deeper；
day　by　day。　Even　if　we　have　a　fair　chance　of　finding　these
fragments；　what　hope　can　we　feel；　at　this　distance　of　time；　of
recovering　them　with　the　writing　in　a　state　of　preservation？　I
shall　be　glad　to　hear；　by　return　of　post　if　possible；　how　the
matter　strikes　you。　If　you　could　make　it　convenient　to　consult
with　me　personally　in　Edinburgh；　we　should　save　time；　when　time
may　be　of　serious　importance　to　us。　While　you　are　at　Doctor
Starkweather's　you　are　within　easy　re