the law and the lady-第7节

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to　his　true　nature；　and　to　the　prejudices　and　habits　of　his　life。
With　the　greatest　difficulty　I　preserved　my　self…control　until　we
reached　the　door　of　our　lodgings。　There　I　was　obliged　to　plead
fatigue；　and　ask　him　to　let　me　rest　for　a　little　while　in　the
solitude　of　my　own　room。

〃Shall　we　sail　to…morrow？〃　he　called　after　me　suddenly；　as　I
ascended　the　stairs。

Sail　with　him　to　the　Mediterranean　the　next　day？　Pass　weeks　and
weeks　absolutely　alone　with　him；　in　the　narrow　limits　of　a
vessel；　with　his　horrible　secret　parting　us　in　sympathy　further
and　further　from　each　other　day　by　day？　I　shuddered　at　the
thought　of　it。

〃To…morrow　is　rather　a　short　notice；〃　I　said。　〃Will　you　give　me　a
little　longer　time　to　prepare　for　the　voyage？〃

〃Oh　yestake　any　time　you　like；〃　he　answered；　not　（as　I　thought）
very　willingly。　〃While　you　are　restingthere　are　still　one　or
two　little　things　to　be　settledI　think　I　will　go　back　to　the
yacht。　Is　there　anything　I　can　do　for　you；　Valeria；　before　I　go？〃

〃Nothingthank　you；　Eustace。〃

He　hastened　away　to　the　harbor。　Was　he　afraid　of　his　own
thoughts；　if　he　were　left　by　himself　in　the　house。　Was　the
company　of　the　sailing…master　and　the　steward　better　than　no
company　at　all？

It　was　useless　to　ask。　What　did　I　know　about　him　or　his　thoughts？
I　locked　myself　into　my　room。


CHAPTER　V。

THE　LANDLADY'S　DISCOVERY。

　I　SAT　down；　and　tried　to　compose　my　spirits。　Now　or　never　was
the　time　to　decide　what　it　was　my　duty　to　my　husband　and　my　duty
to　myself　to　do　next。

The　effort　was　beyond　me。　Worn　out　in　mind　and　body　alike；　I　was
perfectly　incapable　of　pursuing　any　regular　train　of　thought。　I
vaguely　feltif　I　left　things　as　they　werethat　I　could　never
hope　to　remove　the　shadow　which　now　rested　on　the　married　life
that　had　begun　so　brightly。　We　might　live　together；　so　as　to　save
appearances。　But　to　forget　what　had　happened；　or　to　feel
satisfied　with　my　position；　was　beyond　the　power　of　my　will。　My
tranquillity　as　a　womanperhaps　my　dearest　interests　as　a
wifedepended　absolutely　on　penetrating　the　mystery　of　my
mother…in…law's　conduct；　and　on　discovering　the　true　meaning　of
the　wild　words　of　penitence　and　self…reproach　which　my　husband
had　addressed　to　me　on　our　way　home。

So　far　I　could　advance　toward　realizing　my　positionand　no
further。　When　I　asked　myself　what　was　to　be　done　next；　hopeless
confusion；　maddening　doubt；　filled　my　mind；　and　transformed　me
into　the　most　listless　and　helpless　of　living　women。

I　gave　up　the　struggle。　In　dull；　stupid；　obstinate　despair；　I
threw　myself　on　my　bed；　and　fell　from　sheer　fatigue　into　a
broken；　uneasy　sleep。

I　was　awakened　by　a　knock　at　the　door　of　my　room。

Was　it　my　husband？　I　started　to　my　feet　as　the　idea　occurred　to
me。　Was　some　new　trial　of　my　patience　and　my　fortitude　at　hand？
Half　nervously；　half　irritably；　I　asked　who　was　there。

The　landlady's　voice　answered　me。

〃Can　I　speak　to　you　for　a　moment；　if　you　please？〃

I　opened　the　door。　There　is　no
　disguising　itthough　I　loved　him　so　dearly；　though　I　had　left
home　and　friends　for　his　sakeit　was　a　relief　to　me；　at　that
miserable　time；　to　know　that　Eustace　had　not　returned　to　the
house。

The　landlady　came　in；　and　took　a　seat；　without　waiting　to　be
invited；　close　by　my　side。　She　was　no　longer　satisfied　with
merely　asserting　herself　as　my　equal。　Ascending　another　step　on
the　social　ladder；　she　took　her　stand　on　the　platform　of
patronage；　and　charitably　looked　down　on　me　as　an　object　of　pity。

〃I　have　just　returned　from　Broadstairs；〃　she　began。　〃I　hope　you
will　do　me　the　justice　to　believe　that　I　sincerely　regret　what
has　happened。〃

I　bowed；　and　said　nothing。

〃As　a　gentlewoman　myself；〃　proceeded　the　landlady〃reduced　by
family　misfortunes　to　let　lodgings；　but　still　a　gentlewomanI
feel　sincere　sympathy　with　you。　I　will　even　go　further　than　that。
I　will　take　it　on　myself　to　say　that　I　don't　blame　_you_。　No；　no。
I　noticed　that　you　were　as　much　shocked　and　surprised　at　your
mother…in…law's　conduct　as　I　was；　and　that　is　saying　a　great
deala　great　deal　indeed。　However；　I　have　a　duty　to　perform。　It
is　disagreeable；　but　it　is　not　the　less　a　duty　on　that　account。　I
am　a　single　woman；　not　from　want　of　opportunities　of　changing　my
conditionI　beg　you　will　understand　thatbut　from　choice。
Situated　as　I　am；　I　receive　only　the　most　respectable　persons
into　my　house。　There　must　be　no　mystery　about　the　positions　of
_my_　lodgers。　Mystery　in　the　position　of　a　lodger　carries　with
itwhat　shall　I　say？　I　don't　wish　to　offend　youI　will　say；　a
certain　Taint。　Very　well。　Now　I　put　it　to　your　own　common…sense。
Can　a　person　in　my　position　be　expected　to　expose　herself
toTaint？　I　make　these　remarks　in　a　sisterly　and　Christian
spirit。　As　a　lady　yourselfI　will　even　go　the　length　of　saying　a
cruelly　used　ladyyou　will；　I　am　sure；　understand〃

I　could　endure　it　no　longer。　I　stopped　her　there。

〃I　understand；〃　I　said；　〃that　you　wish　to　give　us　notice　to　quit
your　lodgings。　When　do　you　want　us　to　go？〃

The　landlady　held　up　a　long；　lean；　red　hand；　in　a　sorrowful　and
sisterly　protest。

〃No；〃　she　said。　〃Not　that　tone；　not　those　looks。　It's　natural　you
should　be　annoyed；　it's　natural　you　should　be　angry。　But　donow
do　please　try　and　control　yourself。　I　put　it　to　your　own
common…sense　（we　will　say　a　week　for　the　notice　to　quit）why　not
treat　me　like　a　friend？　You　don't　know　what　a　sacrifice；　what　a
cruel　sacrifice；　I　have　madeentirely　for　your　sake。

〃You？〃　I　exclaimed。　〃What　sacrifice？〃

〃What　sacrifice？〃　repeated　the　landlady。　〃I　have　degraded　myself
as　a　gentlewoman。　I　have　forfeited　my　own　self…respect。〃　She
paused　for　a　moment；　and　suddenly　seized　my　hand　in　a　perfect
frenzy　of　friendship。　〃Oh；　my　poor　dear！〃　cried　this　intolerable
person。　〃I　have　discovered　everything。　A　villain　has　deceived
you。　You　are　no　more　married　than　I　am！〃

I　snatched　my　hand　out　of　hers；　and　rose　angrily　from　my　chair。

〃Are　you　mad？〃　I　asked。

The　landlady　raised　her　eyes　to　the　ceiling　with　the　air　of　a
person　who　had　deserved　martyrdom；　and　who　submitted　to　it
cheerfully。

〃Yes；〃　she　said。　〃I　begin　to　think　I　_am_　madmad　to　have
devoted　myself　to　an　ungrateful　woman；　to　a　person　who　doesn't
appreciate　a　sisterly　and　Christian　sacrifice　of　self。　Well；　I
won't　do　it　again。　Heaven　forgive　meI　won't　do　it　again！〃

〃Do　what　again？〃　I　asked。

〃Follow　your　mother…in…law；〃　cried　the　landlady；　suddenly
dropping　the　character　of　a　martyr；　and　assuming　the　character　of
a　vixen　in　its　place。　〃I　blush　when　I　think　of　it。　I　followed
that　most　respectable　person　every　step　of　the　way　to　her　own
door。〃

Thus　far　my　pride　had　held　me　up。　It　sustained　me　no　longer。　I
dropped　back　again　into　my　chair；　in　undisguised　dread　of　what
was　coming　next。

〃I　gave　you　a　look　when　I　left　you　on　the　beach；〃　pursued　the
landlady；　growing　louder　and　louder　and　redder　and　redder　as　she
went　on。　〃A　grateful　woman　would　have　understood　that　look。　Never
mind！　I　won't　do　it　again　I　overtook　your　mother…in…law　at　the
gap　in　the　cliff。　I　followed　heroh；　how　I　feel　the　disgrace　of
it　_now！_I　followed　her　to　the　station　at　Broadstairs。　She　went
back　by　train　to　Ramsgate。　_I_　went　back　by　train　to　Ramsgate。
She　walked　to　her　lodgings。　_I_　walked　to　her　lodgings。　Behind
her。　Like　a　dog。　Oh；　the　disgrace　of　it！　Providentially；　as　I
then　thoughtI　don't　know　what　to　think　of　it　nowthe　landlord
of　the　house　happened　to　be　a　friend　of　mine；　and　happened　to　be
at　home。　We　have　no　secrets　from　each　other　where　lodgers　are
concerned。　I　am　in　a　position　to　tell　you；　madam；　what　your
mother…in…law's　name　really　is。　She　knows　nothing　about　any　such
person　as　Mrs。　Woodville；　for　an　excellent　reason。　Her　name　is
_not_　Woodville。　Her　name　（and　consequently　her　son's　name）　is
MacallanMrs。　Macallan；　widow　of　the　late　General　Macallan。　Yes！
your　husband　is　_not_　your　husband。　You　are　neither　maid；　wife；
nor　widow。　You　are　worse　than　nothing；　madam；　and　you　leave　my
house！〃

I　stopped　her　as　she　opened　the　door　to　go　out。　She　had　roused
_my_　temper　by　this　time。　The　doubt　that　she　had　cast　on　my
marriage　was　more　than　mortal　resignation　could　endure。

〃Give　me　Mrs。　Macallan's　address；〃　I　said。

The　landlady's　anger　receded　into　the　background；　and　the
landlady's　astonishment　appeared　in　its　place。

〃You　don't　mean　to　tell　me　you　are　going　to　the　old　lady
herself？〃　she　said。

〃Nobody　but　the　old　lady　can　tell　me　what　I　want　to　know；〃　I
answered。　〃Your　discovery　（as　you　call　it）　may　be　enough　for
_you_；　it　is　not　enough　for　_me_。　How　do　we　know　that　Mrs。
Macallan　may　not　have　been　twice　married？　and　that　her　first
husband's　name　may　not　have　been　Woodville？〃

The　landlady's　astonishment　subsided　in　its　turn；　and　the
landlady's　curiosity　succeeded　as　the　ruling　influence　of　the
moment。　Substantially；　as　I　have　already　said　of　her；　she　was　a
good…natured　woman。　Her　fits　of　temper　（as　is　usual　with
good…natured　people）　were　of　the　hot　and　the　short…lived　sort；
easily　roused　and　easily　appeased。

〃I　never　thought　of　that；〃　she　said。　〃Look　here！　if　I　give　you
the　address；　will　you　promise　to　tell　me　all　about　it　when　you
come　back？〃

I　gave　the　required