the law and the lady-第64节

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himself　to　be　still　living　with　me　under　those　dreaded
conditions。　Do　what　he　might；　I　was　always　recalling　to　him　the
terrible　ordeal　through　which　he　had　passed。　He　acted　his　part；
and　he　acted　mine。　He　gave　me　a　cup　of　tea；　and　I　said　to　him；
〃We　quarreled　yesterday；　Eustace。　Is　it　poisoned？〃　He　kissed　me；
in　token　of　our　reconciliation；　and　I　laughed；　and　said；　〃It's
morning　now；　my　dear。　Shall　I　die　by　nine　o'clock　to…night？〃　I
was　ill　in　bed；　and　he　gave　me　my　medicine。　I　looked　at　him　with
a　doubting　eye。　I　said　to　him；　〃You　are　in　love　with　another
woman。　Is　there　anything　in　the　medicine　that　the　doctor　doesn't
know　of？〃　Such　was　the　horrible　drama　which　now　perpetually　acted
itself　in　his　mind。　Hundreds　and　hundreds　of　times　I　heard　him
repeat　it；　almost　always　in　the　same　words。　On　other　occasions
his　thoughts　wandered　away　to　my　desperate　project　of　proving　him
to　be　an　innocent　man。　Sometimes　he　laughed　at　it。　Sometimes　he
mourned　over　it。　Sometimes　he　devised　cunning　schemes　for　placing
unsuspected　obstacles　in　my　way。　He　was　especially　hard　on　me
when　he　was　inventing　his　preventive　stratagemshe　cheerfully
instructed　the　visionary　people　who　assisted　him　not　to　hesitate
at　offending　or　distressing　me。　〃Never　mind　if　you　make　her
angry；　never　mind　if　you　make　her　cry。　It's　all　for　her　good；
it's　all　to　save　the　poor　fool　from　dangers　she　doesn't　dream　of。
You　mustn't　pity　her　when　she　says　she　does　it　for　my　sake。　See！
she　is　going　to　be　insulted；　she　is　going　to　be　deceived；　she　is
going　to　disgrace　herself　without　knowing　it。　Stop　her！　stop
her！〃　It　was　weak　of　me；　I　know；　I　ought　to　have　kept　the　plain
fact　that　he　was　out　of　his　senses　always　present　to　my　mind：
still　it　is　true　that　my　hours　passed　at　my　husband's　pillow　were
many　of　them　hours　of　mortification　and　misery　of　which　he；　poor
dear；　was　the　innocent　and　only　cause。

The　weeks　passed；　and　he　still　hovered　between　life　and　death。

I　kept　no　record　of　the　time；　and　I　cannot　now　recall　the　exact
date　on　which　the　first　favorable　change　took　place。　I　only
remember　that　it　was　toward　sunrise　on　a　fine　winter　morning　when
we　were　relieved　at　last　of　our　heavy　burden　of　suspense。　The
surgeon　happened　to　be　by　the　bedside　when　his　patient　awoke。　The
first　thing　he　did；　after　looking　at　Eustace；　was　to　caution　me
by　a　sign　to　be　silent　and　to　keep　out　of　sight。　My　mother…in…law
and　I　both　knew　what　this　meant。　With　full　hearts　we　thanked　God
together　for　giving　us　back　the　husband　and　the　son。

The　same　evening；　being　alone；　we　ventured　to　speak　of　the
futurefor　the　first　time　since　we　had　left　home。

〃The　surgeon　tells　me；〃　said　Mrs。　Macallan；　〃that　Eustace　is　too
weak　to　be　capable　of　bearing　anything　in　the　nature　of　a
surprise　for　some　days　to　come。　We　have　time　to　consider　whether
he　is　or　is　not　to　be　told　that　he　owes　his　life　as　much　to　your
care　as　to　mine。　Can　you　find　it　in　your　heart　to　leave　him；
Valeria；　now　that　God's　mercy　has　restored　him　to　you　and　to　me？〃

〃If　I　only　consulted　my　own　heart；〃　I　answered；　〃I　should　never
leave　him　again。〃

Mrs。　Macallan　looked　at　me　in　grave　surprise。

〃What　else　have　you　to　consult？〃　she　asked。

〃If　we　both　live；〃　I　repli　ed；　〃I　have　to　think　of　the　happiness
of　his　life　and　the　happiness　of　mine　in　the　years　that　are　to
come。　I　can　bear　a　great　deal；　mother；　but　I　cannot　endure　the
misery　of　his　leaving　me　for　the　second　time。〃

〃You　wrong　him；　ValeriaI　firmly　believe　you　wrong　himin
thinking　it　possible　that　he　can　leave　you　again。〃

〃Dear　Mrs。　Macallan；　have　you　forgotten　already　what　we　have　both
heard　him　say　of　me　while　we　have　been　sitting　by　his　bedside？〃

〃We　have　heard　the　ravings　of　a　man　in　delirium。　It　is　surely
hard　to　hold　Eustace　responsible　for　what　he　said　when　he　was　out
of　his　senses。〃

〃It　is　harder　still；〃　I　said；　〃to　resist　his　mother　when　she　is
pleading　for　him。　Dearest　and　best　of　friends！　I　don't　hold
Eustace　responsible　for　what　he　said　in　the　feverbut　I　_do_
take　warning　by　it。　The　wildest　words　that　fell　from　him　were；
one　and　all；　the　faithful　echo　of　what　he　said　to　me　in　the　best
days　of　his　health　and　his　strength。　What　hope　have　I　that　he
will　recover　with　an　altered　mind　toward　me？　Absence　has　not
changed　it；　suffering　has　not　changed　it。　In　the　delirium　of
fever；　and　in　the　full　possession　of　his　reason；　he　has　the　same
dreadful　doubt　of　me。　I　see　but　one　way　of　winning　him　back：　I
must　destroy　at　its　root　his　motive　for　leaving　me。　It　is
hopeless　to　persuade　him　that　I　believe　in　his　innocence：　I　must
show　him　that　belief　is　no　longer　necessary；　I　must　prove　to　him
that　his　position　toward　me　has　become　the　position　of　an
innocent　man！〃

〃Valeria！　Valeria！　you　are　wasting　time　and　words。　You　have　tried
the　experiment；　and　you　know　as　well　as　I　do　that　the　thing　is
not　to　be　done。〃

I　had　no　answer　to　that。　I　could　say　no　more　than　I　had　said
already。

〃Suppose　you　go　back　to　Dexter；　out　of　sheer　compassion　for　a　mad
and　miserable　wretch　who　has　already　insulted　you；〃　proceeded　my
mother…in…law。　〃You　can　only　go　back　accompanied　by　me；　or　by
some　other　trustworthy　person。　You　can　only　stay　long　enough　to
humor　the　creature's　wayward　fancy；　and　to　keep　his　crazy　brain
quiet　for　a　time。　That　done；　all　is　doneyou　leave　him。　Even
supposing　Dexter　to　be　still　capable　of　helping　you；　how　can　you
make　use　of　him　but　by　admitting　him　to　terms　of　confidence　and
familiarityby　treating　him；　in　short；　on　the　footing　of　an
intimate　friend？　Answer　me　honestly：　can　you　bring　yourself　to　do
that；　after　what　happened　at　Mr。　Benjamin's　house？〃

I　had　told　her　of　my　last　interview　with　Miserrimus　Dexter；　in
the　natural　confidence　that　she　inspired　in　me　as　relative　and
fellow…traveler；　and　this　was　the　use　to　which　she　turned　her
information！　I　suppose　I　had　no　right　to　blame　her；　I　suppose　the
motive　sanctioned　everything。　At　any　rate；　I　had　no　choice　but　to
give　offense　or　to　give　an　answer。　I　gave　it。　I　acknowledged　that
I　could　never　again　permit　Miserrimus　Dexter　to　treat　me　on　terms
of　familiarity　as　a　trusted　and　intimate　friend。

Mrs。　Macallan　pitilessly　pressed　the　advantage　that　she　had　won。

〃Very　well；〃　she　said；　〃that　resource　being　no　longer　open　to
you；　what　hope　is　left？　Which　way　are　you　to　turn　next？〃

There　was　no　meeting　those　questions；　in　my　present　situation；　by
any　adequate　reply。　I　felt　strangely　unlike　myselfI　submitted
in　silence。　Mrs。　Macallan　struck　the　last　blow　that　completed　her
victory。

〃My　poor　Eustace　is　weak　and　wayward；〃　she　said；　〃but　he　is　not
an　ungrateful　man。　My　child；　you　have　returned　him　good　for
evilyou　have　proved　how　faithfully　and　how　devotedly　you　love
him；　by　suffering　all　hardships　and　risking　all　dangers　for　his
sake。　Trust　me；　and　trust　him！　He　cannot　resist　you。　Let　him　see
the　dear　face　that　he　has　been　dreaming　of　looking　at　him　again
with　all　the　old　love　in　it；　and　he　is　yours　once　more；　my
daughteryours　for　life。〃　She　rose　and　touched　my　forehead　with
her　lips；　her　voice　sank　to　tones　of　tenderness　which　I　had　never
heard　from　her　yet。　〃Say　yes；　Valeria；〃　she　whispered；　〃and　be
dearer　to　me　and　dearer　to　him　than　ever！〃

My　heart　sided　with　her。　My　energies　were　worn　out。　No　letter　had
arrived　from　Mr。　Playmore　to　guide　and　to　encourage　me。　I　had
resisted　so　long　and　so　vainly；　I　had　tried　and　suffered　so　much；
I　had　met　with　such　cruel　disasters　and　such　reiterated
disappointmentsand　he　was　in　the　room　beneath　me；　feebly
finding　his　way　back　to　consciousness　and　to　lifehow　could　I
resist？　It　was　all　over。　In　saying　Yes　（if　Eustace　confirmed　his
mother's　confidence　in　him）；　I　was　saying　adieu　to　the　one
cherished　ambition；　the　one　dear　and　noble　hope　of　my　life。　I
knew　itand　I　said　Yes。

And　so　good…by　to　the　grand　struggle！　And　so　welcome　to　the　new
resignation　which　owned　that　I　had　failed。

　My　mother…in…law　and　I　slept　together　under　the　only　shelter
that　the　inn　could　offer　to　usa　sort　of　loft　at　the　top　of　the
house。　The　night　that　followed　our　conversation　was　bitterly
cold。　We　felt　the　chilly　temperature；　in　spite　of　the　protection
of　our　dressing…gowns　and　our　traveling…wrappers。　My
mother…in…law　slept；　but　no　rest　came　to　me。　I　was　too　anxious
and　too　wretched；　thinking　over　my　changed　position；　and　doubting
how　my　husband　would　receive　me；　to　be　able　to　sleep。

Some　hours；　as　I　suppose；　must　have　passed；　and　I　was　still
absorbed　in　my　own　melancholy　thoughts；　when　I　suddenly　became
conscious　of　a　new　and　strange　sensation　which　astonished　and
alarmed　me。　I　started　up　in　the　bed；　breathless　and　bewildered。
The　movement　awakened　Mrs。　Macallan。　〃Are　you　ill？〃　she　asked。
〃What　is　the　matter　with　you？〃　I　tried　to　tell　her；　as　well　as　I
could。　She　seemed　to　understand　me　before　I　had　done；　she　took　me
tenderly　in　her　arms；　and　pressed　me　to　her　bosom。　〃My　poor
innocent　child；〃　she　said；　〃is　it　possible　you　don't　know？　Must　I
really　tell　you？〃　She　whispered　her　next　words。　Shall　I　ever
forget　the　tumult　of　feelings　which　the　whisper　aroused　in
methe　strange　medley　of　joy　and　fear；　and　wonder　and　relief；
and　pride　and　humility；　which　filled　my　whole　being；　and　ma