the law and the lady-第46节

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capacious　pocket　in　front　of　the　carriage；　and　took　from　it　a　box
of　matches　and　a　railway　reading…lamp。

〃You　provoke　me；〃　said　the　old　lady；　〃into　showing　you　what　your
husband　thinks　of　this　new　whim　of　yours。　I　have　got　his　letter
with　mehis　last　letter　from　Spain。　You　shall　judge　for
yourself；　you　poor　deluded　young　creature；　whether　my　son　is
worthy　of　the　sacrificethe　useless　and　hopeless
sacrificewhich　you　are　bent　on　making　of　yourself　for　his　sake。
Strike　a　light！〃

I　willingly　obeyed　her。　Ever　since　she　had　informed　me　of
Eustace's　departure　to　Spain　I　had　been　eager　for　more　news　of
him；　for　something　to　sustain　my　spirits；　after　so　much　that　had
disappointed　and　depressed　me。　Thus　far　I　did　not　even　know
whether　my　husband　thought　of　me　sometimes　in　his　self…imposed
exile。　As　to　this　regretting　already　the　rash　act　which　had
separated　us；　it　was　still　too　soon　to　begin　hoping　for　that。

The　lamp　having　been　lighted；　and　fixed　in　its　place　between　the
two　front　windows　of　the　carriage；　Mrs。　Macallan　produced　her
son's　letter。　There　is　no　folly　like　the　folly　of　love。　It　cost
me　a　hard　struggle　to　restrain　myself　from　kissing　the　paper　on
which　the　dear　hand　had　rested。

〃There！〃　said　my　mother…in…law。　〃Begin　on　the　second　page；　the
page　devoted　to　you。　Read　straight　down　to　the　last　line　at　the
bottom；　and；　in　God's　name；　come　back　to　your　senses；　child；
before　it　is　too　late！〃

I　followed　my　instructions；　and　read　these　words：

〃Can　I　trust　myself　to　write　of　Valeria？　I　_must_　write　of　her。
Tell　me　how　she　is；　how　she　looks；　what　she　is　doing。　I　am　always
thinking　of　her。　Not　a　day　passes　but　I　mourn　the　loss　of　her。
Oh；　if　she　had　only　been　contented　to　let　matters　rest　as　they
were！　Oh；　if　she　had　never　discovered　the　miserable　truth！

〃She　spoke　of　reading　the　Trial　when　I　saw　her　last。　Has　she
persisted　in　doing　so？　I　believeI　say　this　seriously；　motherI
believe　the　shame　and　the　horror　of　it　would　have　been　the　death
of　me　if　I　had　met　her　face　to　face　when　she　first　knew　of　the
ignominy　that　I　have　suffered；　of　the　infamous　suspicion　of　which
I　have　been　publicly　made　the　subject。　Think　of　those　pure　eyes
looking　at　a　man　who　has　been　accus　ed　（and　never　wholly
absolved）　of　the　foulest　and　the　vilest　of　all　murders；　and　then
think　of　what　that　man　must　feel　if　he　have　any　heart　and　any
sense　of　shame　left　in　him。　I　sicken　as　I　write　of　it。

〃Does　she　still　meditate　that　hopeless　projectthe　offspring；
poor　angel；　of　her　artless；　unthinking　generosity？　Does　she　still
fancy　that　it　is　in　_her_　power　to　assert　my　innocence　before　the
world？　Oh；　mother　（if　she　do）；　use　your　utmost　influence　to　make
her　give　up　the　idea！　Spare　her　the　humiliation；　the
disappointment；　the　insult；　perhaps；　to　which　she　may　innocently
expose　herself。　For　her　sake；　for　my　sake；　leave　no　means　untried
to　attain　this　righteous；　this　merciful　end。

〃I　send　her　no　messageI　dare　not　do　it。　Say　nothing；　when　you
see　her；　which　can　recall　me　to　her　memory。　On　the　contrary；　help
her　to　forget　me　as　soon　as　possible。　The　kindest　thing　I　can
dothe　one　atonement　I　can　make　to　heris　to　drop　out　of　her
life。〃

With　those　wretched　words　it　ended。　I　handed　his　letter　back　to
his　mother　in　silence。　She　said　but　little　on　her　side。

〃If　_this_　doesn't　discourage　you；〃　she　remarked；　slowly　folding
up　the　letter；　〃nothing　will。　Let　us　leave　it　there；　and　say　no
more。〃

I　made　no　answerI　was　crying　behind　my　veil。　My　domestic
prospect　looked　so　dreary！　my　unfortunate　husband　was　so
hopelessly　misguided；　so　pitiably　wrong！　The　one　chance　for　both
of　us；　and　the　one　consolation　for　poor　Me；　was　to　hold　to　my
desperate　resolution　more　firmly　than　ever。　If　I　had　wanted
anything　to　confirm　me　in　this　view；　and　to　arm　me　against　the
remonstrances　of　every　one　of　my　friends；　Eustace's　letter　would
have　proved　more　than　sufficient　to　answer　the　purpose。　At　least
he　had　not　forgotten　me；　he　thought　of　me；　and　he　mourned　the
loss　of　me　every　day　of　his　life。　That　was　encouragement
enoughfor　the　present。　〃If　Ariel　calls　for　me　in　the
pony…chaise　to…morrow；〃　I　thought　to　myself；　〃with　Ariel　I　go。〃

　Mrs。　Macallan　set　me　down　at　Benjamin's　door。

I　mentioned　to　her　at　partingI　stood　sufficiently　in　awe　of　her
to　put　it　off　till　the　last　momentthat　Miserrimus　Dexter　had
arranged　to　send　his　cousin　and　his　pony…chaise　to　her　residence
on　the　next　day；　and　I　inquired　thereupon　whether　my
mother…in…law　would　permit　me　to　call　at　her　house　to　wait　for
the　appearance　of　the　cousin；　or　whether　she　would　prefer　sending
the　chaise　on　to　Benjamin's　cottage。　I　fully　expected　an
explosion　of　anger　to　follow　this　bold　avowal　of　my　plans　for　the
next　day。　The　old　lady　agreeably　surprised　me。　She　proved　that
she　had　really　taken　a　liking　to　me：　she　kept　her　temper。

〃If　you　persist　in　going　back　to　Dexter；　you　certainly　shall　not
go　to　him　from　my　door；〃　she　said。　〃But　I　hope　you　will　_not_
persist。　I　hope　you　will　awake　a　wiser　woman　to…morrow　morning。〃

The　morning　came。　A　little　before　noon　the　arrival　of　the
pony…chaise　was　announced　at　the　door；　and　a　letter　was　brought
in　to　me　from　Mrs。　Macallan。

〃I　have　no　right　to　control　your　movements；〃　my　mother…in…law
wrote。　〃I　send　the　chaise　to　Mr。　Benjamin's　house；　and　I
sincerely　trust　that　you　will　not　take　your　place　in　it。　I　wish　I
could　persuade　you；　Valeria；　how　truly　I　am　your　friend。　I　have
been　thinking　about　you　anxiously　in　the　wakeful　hours　of　the
night。　_How_　anxiously；　you　will　understand　when　I　tell　you　that
I　now　reproach　myself　for　not　having　done　more　than　I　did　to
prevent　your　unhappy　marriage。　And　yet；　what　more　I　could　have
done　I　don't　really　know。　My　son　admitted　to　me　that　he　was
courting　you　under　an　assumed　name；　but　he　never　told　me　what　the
name　was。　Or　who　you　were；　or　where　your　friends　lived。　Perhaps　I
ought　to　have　taken　measures　to　find　this　out。　Perhaps；　if　I　had
succeeded；　I　ought　to　have　interfered　and　enlightened　you；　even
at　the　sad　sacrifice　of　making　an　enemy　of　my　own　son。　I　honestly
thought　I　did　my　duty　in　expressing　my　disapproval；　and　in
refusing　to　be　present　at　the　marriage。　Was　I　too　easily
satisfied？　It　is　too　late　to　ask。　Why　do　I　trouble　you　with　an
old　woman's　vain　misgivings　and　regrets？　My　child；　if　you　come　to
any　harm；　I　shall　feel　（indirectly）　responsible　for　it。　It　is
this　uneasy　state　of　mind　which　sets　me　writing；　with　nothing　to
say　that　can　interest　you。　Don't　go　to　Dexter！　The　fear　has　been
pursuing　me　all　night　that　your　going　to　Dexter　will　end　badly。
Write　him　an　excuse。　Valeria！　I　firmly　believe　you　will　repent　it
if　you　return　to　that　house。〃

Was　ever　a　woman　more　plainly　warned；　more　carefully　advised；
than　I？　And　yet　warning　and　advice　were　both　thrown　away　on　me。

Let　me　say　for　myself　that　I　was　really　touched　by　the　kindness
of　my　mother…in…law's　letter；　though　I　was　not　shaken　by　it　in
the　smallest　degree。　As　long　as　I　lived；　moved；　and　thought；　my
one　purpose　now　was　to　make　Miserrimus　Dexter　confide　to　me　his
ideas　on　the　subject　of　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan's　death。　To　those
ideas　I　looked　as　my　guiding　stars　along　the　dark　way　on　which　I
was　going。　I　wrote　back　to　Mrs。　Macallan；　as　I　really　felt
gratefully　and　penitently。　And　then　I　went　out　to　the　chaise。



CHAPTER　XXVII。

MR。　DEXTER　AT　HOME。

　I　FOUND　all　the　idle　boys　in　the　neighborhood　collected　around
the　pony…chaise；　expressing；　in　the　occult　language　of　slang；
their　high　enjoyment　and　appreciation　at　the　appearance　of
〃Ariel〃　in　her　man's　jacket　and　hat。　The　pony　was　fidgety_he_
felt　the　influence　of　the　popular　uproar。　His　driver　sat；　whip　in
hand；　magnificently　impenetrable　to　the　gibes　and　jests　that　were
flying　around　her。　I　said　〃Good…morning〃　on　getting　into　the
chaise。　Ariel　only　said　〃Gee　up！〃　and　started　the　pony。

I　made　up　my　mind　to　perform　the　journey　to　the　distant　northern
suburb　in　silence。　It　was　evidently　useless　for　me　to　attempt　to
speak；　and　experience　informed　me　that　I　need　not　expect　to　hear
a　word　fall　from　the　lips　of　my　companion。　Experience；　however；
is　not　always　infallible。　After　driving　for　half　an　hour　in
stolid　silence；　Ariel　astounded　me　by　suddenly　bursting　into
speech。

〃Do　you　know　what　we　are　coming　to？〃　she　asked；　keeping　her　eyes
straight　between　the　pony's　ears。

〃No；〃　I　answered。　〃I　don't　know　the　road。　What　are　we　coming　to？〃

〃We　are　coming　to　a　canal。〃

〃Well？〃

〃Well；　I　have　half　a　mind　to　upset　you　in　the　canal。〃

This　formidable　announcement　appeared　to　require　some
explanation。　I　took　the　liberty　of　asking　for　it。

〃Why　should　you　upset　me？〃　I　inquired。

〃Because　I　hate　you；〃　was　the　cool　and　candid　reply。

〃What　have　I　done　to　offend　you？〃　I　asked　next。

〃What　do　you　want　with　the　Master？〃　Ariel　asked；　in　her　turn。

〃Do　you　mean　Mr。　Dexter？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃I　want　to　have　some　talk　with　Mr。　Dexter。〃

〃You　don't！　You　want　to　take　my　place。　You　want　to　brush　his　hair
and　oil　his　beard；　instead　of　me。　You　wretch！〃

I　now　began　to　understand。　The　idea　which　Miserrimus　Dexter　had
jestingly　put　into　her　head；　in　exhibiting　her　to　us　on　the
previous　night；　had　been　ripening　slowly