the law and the lady-第22节

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the　forced　necessity　for　remaining　passive　at　that　crisis　in　my
life　no　words　of　mine　can　tell。　It　will　be　better　if　I　go　on　with
my　narrative。

Benjamin　was　the　first　to　ask　me　what　had　passed　between　my
husband　and　myself。

〃You　may　speak　freely；　my　dear；〃　he　said。　〃I　know　what　has
happened　since　you　have　been　in　Major　Fitz…David's　house。　No　one
has　told　me　about　it；　I　found　it　out　for　myself。　If　you　remember；
I　was　struck　by　the　name　of　'Macallan；'　when　you　first　mentioned
it　to　me　at　my　cottage。　I　couldn't　guess　why　at　the　time。　I　know
why　now。〃

Hearing　this；　I　told　them　both　unreservedly　what　I　had　said　to
Eustace；　and　how　he　had　received　it。　To　my　unspeakable
disappointment；　they　both　sided　with　my　husband；　treating　my　view
of　his　position　as　a　mere　dream。　They　said　it；　as　he　had　said　it；
〃You　have　not　read　the　Trial。〃

I　was　really　enraged　with　them。　〃The　facts　are　enough　for　_me；_〃
I　said。　〃We　know　he　is　innocent。　Why　is　his　innocence　not　proved？
It　ought　to　be；　it　must　be；　it　shall　be！　If　the　Trial　tell　me　it
can't　be　done；　I　refuse　to　believe　the　Trial。　Where　is　the　book；
Major？　Let　me　see　for　myself　if　his　lawyers　have　left　nothing　for
his　wife　to　do。　Did　they　love　him　as　I　love　him？　Give　me　the
book！〃

Major　Fitz…David　looked　at　Benjamin。

〃It　will　only　additionally　shock　and　distress　her　if　I　give　her
the　book；〃　he　said。　〃Don't　you　agree　with　me？〃

I　interposed　before　Benjamin　could　answer。

〃If　you　refuse　my　request；〃　I　said；　〃you　will　oblige　me；　Major；
to　go　to　the　nearest　bookseller　and　tell　him　to　buy　the　Trial　for
me。　I　am　determined　to　read　it。〃

This　time　Benjamin　sided　with　me。

〃Nothing　can　make　matters　worse　than　they　are；　sir；〃　he　said。　〃If
I　may　be　permitted　to　advise；　let　her　have　her　own　way。〃

The　Major　rose　and　took　the　book　out　of　the　Italian　cabinet；　to
which　he　had　consigned　it　for　safe…keeping。

〃My　young　friend　tells　me　that　she　informed　you　of　her
regrettable　outbreak　of　temper　a　few　days　since；〃　he　said　as　he
handed　me　the　volume。　〃I　was　not　aware　at　the　time　what　book　she
had　in　her　hand　when　she　so　far　forgot　herself　as　to　destroy　the
vase。　When　I　left　you　in　the　study；　I　supposed　the　Report　of　the
Trial　to　be　in　its　customary　place　on　the　top　shelf　of　the
book…case；　and　I　own　I　felt　some　curiosity　to　know　whether　you
would　think　of　examining　that　shelf。　The　broken　vaseit　is
needless　to　conceal　it　from　you　nowwas　one　of　a　pair　presented
to　me　by　your　husband　and　his　first　wife　only　a　week　before　the
poor　woman's　terrible　death。　I　felt　my　first　presentiment　that
you　were　on　the　brink　of　discovery　when　I　found　you　looking　at
the　fragments；　and　I　fancy　I　betrayed　to　you　that　something　of
the　sort　was　disturbing　me。　You　looked　as　if　you　noticed　it。〃

〃I　did　notice　it；　Major。　And　I　too　had　a　vague　idea　that　I　was　on
the　way　to　discovery。　Will　you　look　at　your　watch？　Have　we　waited
half　an　hour　yet？〃

My　impatience　had　misled　me。　The　ordeal　of　the　half…hour　was　not
yet　at　an　end。

Slowly　and　more　slowly　the　heavy　minutes　followed　each　other；　and
still　there　were　no　signs　of　my　husband's　return。　We　tried　to
continue　our　conversation；　and　failed。　Nothing　was　audible；　no
sounds　but　the　ordinary　sounds　of　the　street　disturbed　the
dreadful　silence。　Try　as　I　might　to　repel　it；　there　was　one
foreboding　thought　that　pressed　closer　and　closer　on　my　mind　as
the　interval　of　waiting　wore　its　weary　way　on。　I　shuddered　as　I
asked　myself　if　our　married　life　had　come　to　an　endif　Eustace
had　really　left　me。

The　Major　saw　what　Benjamin's　slower　perception　had　not　yet
discoveredthat　my　fortitude　was　beginning　to　sink　under　the
unrelieved　oppression　of　suspense。

〃Come！〃　he　said。　〃Let　us　go　to　the　hotel。〃

It　then　wanted　nearly　five　minutes　to　the　half…hour。　I　_looked_
my　gratitude　to　Major　Fitz…David　for　sparing　me　those　last
minutes：　I　could　not　speak　to　him　or　to　Benjamin。　In　silence　we
three　got　into　a　cab　and　drove　to　the　hotel。

The　landlady　met　us　in　the　hall。　Nothing　had　been　seen　or　heard
of　Eustace。　There　was　a　letter　waiting　for　me　upstairs　on　the
table　in　our　sitting…room。　It　had　been　left　at　the　hotel　by　a
messenger　only　a　few　minutes　since。

Trembling　and　breathless；　I　ran　up　the　stairs；　the　two　gentlemen
following　me。　The　address　of　the　letter　was　in　my　husband's
handwriting。　My　heart　sank　in　me　as　I　looked　at　the　lines；　there
could　be　but　one　reason　for　his　writing　to　me。　That　closed
envelope　held　his　farewell　words。　I　sat　with　the　letter　on　my
lap；　stupefied；　incapable　of　opening　it。

Kind…hearted　Benjamin　attempted　to　comfort　and　encourage　me。　The
Major；　with　his　larger　experience　of　women；　warned　the　old　man　to
be　silent。

〃Wait！〃　I　heard　him　whisper。　〃Speaking　to　her　will　do　no　good
now。　Give　her　time。〃

Acting　on　a　sudden　impulse；　I　held　out　the　letter　to　him　as　he
spoke。　Even　moments　might　be　of　importance；　if　Eustace　had　indeed
left　me。　To　give　me　time　might　be　to　lose　the　opportunity　of
recalling　him。

〃You　are　his　old　friend；〃　I　said。　〃Open　his　letter；　Major；　and
read　it　for　me。〃

Major　Fitz…David　opened　the　letter　and　read　it　through　to
himself。　When　he　had　done　he　threw　it　on　the　table　with　a　gesture
which　was　almost　a　gesture　of　contempt。

〃There　is　but　one　excuse　for　him；〃　he　said。　〃The　man　is　mad。〃

Those　words　told　me　all。　I　knew　the　worst；　and；　knowing　it；　I
could　read　the　letter。　It　ran　thus：

〃MY　BELOVED　VALERIAWhen　you　read　these　lines　you　read　my
farewell　words。　I　return　to　my　solitary　unfriended　lifemy　life
before　I　knew　you。

〃My　darling；　you　have　been　cruelly　treated。　You　have　been
entrapped　into　marrying　a　man　who　has　been　publicly　accused　of
poisoning　his　first　wifeand　who　has　not　been　honorably　and
completely　acquitted　of　the　charge。　And　you　know　it！

〃Can　you　live　on　terms　of　mutual　confidence　and　mutual　esteem
with　me　when　I　have　committed　this　fraud；　and　when　I　stand　toward
you　in　this　position？　It　was　possible　for　you　to　live　with　me
happily　while　you　were　in　ignorance　of　the　truth。　It　is　_not_
possible；　now　you　know　all。

〃No！　the　one　atonement　I　can　make　isto　leave　you。　Your　one
chance　of　future　happiness　is　to　be　disassociated；　at　once　and
forever；　from　my　dishonored　life。　I　love　you；　Valeriatruly；
devotedly；　passionately。　But　the　specter　of　the　poisoned　woman
rises　between　us。　It　makes　no　difference　that　I　am　innocent　even
of　the　thought　of　harming　my　first　wife。　My　innocence　has　not
been　proved。　In　this　world　my　innocence　can　never　be　proved。　You
are　young　and　loving；　and　generous　and　hopeful。　Bless　others；
Valeria；　with　your　　rare　attractions　a　nd　your　delightful　gifts。
They　are　of　no　avail　with　_me。_　The　poisoned　woman　stands　between
us。　If　you　live　with　me　now；　you　will　see　her　as　I　see　her。
_That_　torture　shall　never　be　yours。　I　love　you。　I　leave　you。

〃Do　you　think　me　hard　and　cruel？　Wait　a　little；　and　time　will
change　that　way　of　thinking。　As　the　years　go　on　you　will　say　to
yourself；　'Basely　as　he　deceived　me；　there　was　some　generosity　in
him。　He　was　man　enough　to　release　me　of　his　own　free　will。'

〃Yes；　Valeria；　I　fully；　freely　release　you。　If　it　be　possible　to
annul　our　marriage；　let　it　be　done。　Recover　your　liberty　by　any
means　that　you　may　be　advised　to　employ；　and　be　assured
beforehand　of　my　entire　and　implicit　submission。　My　lawyers　have
the　necessary　instructions　on　this　subject。　Your　uncle　has　only
to　communicate　with　them；　and　I　think　he　will　be　satisfied　of　my
resolution　to　do　you　justice。　The　one　interest　that　I　have　now
left　in　life　is　my　interest　in　your　welfare　and　your　happiness　in
the　time　to　come。　Your　welfare　and　your　happiness　are　no　longer
to　be　found　in　your　union　with　Me。

〃I　can　write　no　more。　This　letter　will　wait　for　you　at　the　hotel。
It　will　be　useless　to　attempt　to　trace　me。　I　know　my　own
weakness。　My　heart　is　all　yours：　I　might　yield　to　you　if　I　let
you　see　me　again。

〃Show　these　lines　to　your　uncle；　and　to　any　friends　whose
opinions　you　may　value。　I　have　only　to　sign　my　dishonored　name；
and　every　one　will　understand　and　applaud　my　motive　for　writing
as　I　do。　The　name　justifiesamply　justifiesthe　letter。　Forgive
and　forget　me。　Farewell。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃EUSTACE　MACALLAN。〃


In　those　words　he　took　his　leave　of　me。　We　had　then　been
marriedsix　days。



CHAPTER　XIV。

THE　WOMAN'S　ANSWER。

　THUS　far　I　have　written　of　myself　with　perfect　frankness；　and；　I
think　I　may　fairly　add；　with　some　courage　as　well。　My　frankness
fails　me　and　my　courage　fails　me　when　I　look　back　to　my　husband's
farewell　letter；　and　try　to　recall　the　storm　of　contending
passions　that　it　roused　in　my　mind。　No！　I　cannot　tell　the　truth
about　myselfI　dare　not　tell　the　truth　about　myselfat　that
terrible　time。　Men！　consult　your　observation　of　women；　and
imagine　what　I　felt；　women！　look　into　your　own　hearts；　and　see
what　I　felt；　for　yourselves。

What　I　_did；_　when　my　mind　was　quiet　again；　is　an　easier　matter
to　deal　with。　I　answered　my　husband's　letter。　My　reply　to　him
shall　appear　in　these　pages。　It　will　show；　in　some　degree；　what
effect　（of　the　lasting　sort）　his　desertion　of　me　produced　on　my
mind。　It　will　also　reveal　the　motives　that　sustained　me；　the
hopes　that