the diary of a man of fifty-第8节

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I　wrote　that　last　entry　five　days　ago；　late　at　night；　after　coming　

back　from　Casa　Salsi。　　I　afterwards　fell　asleep　in　my　chair；　the　

night　was　half　over　when　I　woke　up。　　Instead　of　going　to　bed；　I　stood　

a　long　time　at　the　window；　looking　out　at　the　river。　　It　was　a　warm；　

still　night；　and　the　first　faint　streaks　of　sunrise　were　in　the　sky。　　

Presently　I　heard　a　slow　footstep　beneath　my　window；　and　looking　

down；　made　out　by　the　aid　of　a　street　lamp　that　Stanmer　was　but　just　

coming　home。　　I　called　to　him　to　come　to　my　rooms；　and；　after　an　

interval；　he　made　his　appearance。



〃I　want　to　bid　you　good…bye；〃　I　said；　〃I　shall　depart　in　the　morning。　　

Don't　go　to　the　trouble　of　saying　you　are　sorry。　　Of　course　you　are　

not；　I　must　have　bullied　you　immensely。〃



He　made　no　attempt　to　say　he　was　sorry；　but　he　said　he　was　very　glad　

to　have　made　my　acquaintance。



〃Your　conversation；〃　he　said；　with　his　little　innocent　air；　〃has　been　

very　suggestive。〃



〃Have　you　found　Camerino？〃　I　asked；　smiling。



〃I　have　given　up　the　search。〃



〃Well；〃　I　said；　〃some　day　when　you　find　that　you　have　made　a　great　

mistake；　remember　I　told　you　so。〃



He　looked　for　a　minute　as　if　he　were　trying　to　anticipate　that　day　by　

the　exercise　of　his　reason。



〃Has　it　ever　occurred　to　you　that　YOU　may　have　made　a　great　mistake？〃



〃Oh　yes；　everything　occurs　to　one　sooner　or　later。〃



That's　what　I　said　to　him；　but　I　didn't　say　that　the　question；　

pointed　by　his　candid　young　countenance；　had；　for　the　moment；　a　

greater　force　than　it　had　ever　had　before。



And　then　he　asked　me　whether；　as　things　had　turned　out；　I　myself　had　

been　so　especially　happy。



PARIS；　December　17th。A　note　from　young　Stanmer；　whom　I　saw　in　

Florencea　remarkable　little　note；　dated　Rome；　and　worth　

transcribing。





〃My　dear　GeneralI　have　it　at　heart　to　tell　you　that　I　was　married　a　

week　ago　to　the　Countess　Salvi…Scarabelli。　　You　talked　me　into　a　

great　muddle；　but　a　month　after　that　it　was　all　very　clear。　　Things　

that　involve　a　risk　are　like　the　Christian　faith；　they　must　be　seen　

from　the　inside。Yours　ever；　E。　S。



〃P。　S。A　fig　for　analogies　unless　you　can　find　an　analogy　for　my　

happiness！〃





His　happiness　makes　him　very　clever。　　I　hope　it　will　lastI　mean　his　

cleverness；　not　his　happiness。



LONDON；　April　19th；　1877。Last　night；　at　Lady　H…'s；　I　met　Edmund　

Stanmer；　who　married　Bianca　Salvi's　daughter。　　I　heard　the　other　day　

that　they　had　come　to　England。　　A　handsome　young　fellow；　with　a　fresh　

contented　face。　　He　reminded　me　of　Florence；　which　I　didn't　pretend　

to　forget；　but　it　was　rather　awkward；　for　I　remember　I　used　to　

disparage　that　woman　to　him。　　I　had　a　complete　theory　about　her。　　But　

he　didn't　seem　at　all　stiff；　on　the　contrary；　he　appeared　to　enjoy　

our　encounter。　　I　asked　him　if　his　wife　were　there。　　I　had　to　do　

that。



〃Oh　yes；　she's　in　one　of　the　other　rooms。　　Come　and　make　her　

acquaintance；　I　want　you　to　know　her。〃



〃You　forget　that　I　do　know　her。〃



〃Oh　no；　you　don't；　you　never　did。〃　　And　he　gave　a　little　significant　

laugh。



I　didn't　feel　like　facing　the　ci…devant　Scarabelli　at　that　moment；　so　

I　said　that　I　was　leaving　the　house；　but　that　I　would　do　myself　the　

honour　of　calling　upon　his　wife。　　We　talked　for　a　minute　of　something　

else；　and　then；　suddenly　breaking　off　and　looking　at　me；　he　laid　his　

hand　on　my　arm。　　I　must　do　him　the　justice　to　say　that　he　looks　

felicitous。



〃Depend　upon　it　you　were　wrong！〃　he　said。



〃My　dear　young　friend；〃　I　answered；　〃imagine　the　alacrity　with　which　

I　concede　it。〃



Something　else　again　was　spoken　of；　but　in　an　instant　he　repeated　his　

movement。



〃Depend　upon　it　you　were　wrong。〃



〃I　am　sure　the　Countess　has　forgiven　me；〃　I　said；　〃and　in　that　case　

you　ought　to　bear　no　grudge。　　As　I　have　had　the　honour　to　say；　I　will　

call　upon　her　immediately。〃



〃I　was　not　alluding　to　my　wife；〃　he　answered。　　〃I　was　thinking　of　

your　own　story。〃



〃My　own　story？〃



〃So　many　years　ago。　　Was　it　not　rather　a　mistake？〃



I　looked　at　him　a　moment；　he's　positively　rosy。



〃That's　not　a　question　to　solve　in　a　London　crush。〃



And　I　turned　away。



22d。I　haven't　yet　called　on　the　ci…devant；　I　am　afraid　of　finding　

her　at　home。　　And　that　boy's　words　have　been　thrumming　in　my　ears

〃Depend　upon　it　you　were　wrong。　　Wasn't　it　rather　a　mistake？〃　　WAS　I　

wrongWAS　it　a　mistake？　　Was　I　too　cautionstoo　suspicioustoo　

logical？　　Was　it　really　a　protector　she　neededa　man　who　might　have　

helped　her？　　Would　it　have　been　for　his　benefit　to　believe　in　her；　

and　was　her　fault　only　that　I　had　forsaken　her？　　Was　the　poor　woman　

very　unhappy？　　God　forgive　me；　how　the　questions　come　crowding　in！　　

If　I　marred　her　happiness；　I　certainly　didn't　make　my　own。　　And　I　

might　have　made　iteh？　　That's　a　charming　discovery　for　a　man　of　my　

age！









End