the diary of a man of fifty-第6节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
She looked deep into my eyes for a moment; and then she turned away。
26th。I have written nothing for a good many days; but meanwhile I
have been half a dozen times to Casa Salvi。 I have seen a good deal
also of my young friendhad a good many walks and talks with him。 I
have proposed to him to come with me to Venice for a fortnight; but
he won't listen to the idea of leaving Florence。 He is very happy in
spite of his doubts; and I confess that in the perception of his
happiness I have lived over again my own。 This is so much the case
that when; the other day; he at last made up his mind to ask me to
tell him the wrong that Madame de Salvi had done me; I rather checked
his curiosity。 I told him that if he was bent upon knowing I would
satisfy him; but that it seemed a pity; just now; to indulge in
painful imagery。
〃But I thought you wanted so much to put me out of conceit of our
friend。〃
〃I admit I am inconsistent; but there are various reasons for it。 In
the first placeit's obviousI am open to the charge of playing a
double game。 I profess an admiration for the Countess Scarabelli;
for I accept her hospitality; and at the same time I attempt to
poison your mind; isn't that the proper expression? I can't exactly
make up my mind to that; though my admiration for the Countess and my
desire to prevent you from taking a foolish step are equally sincere。
And then; in the second place; you seem to me; on the whole; so
happy! One hesitates to destroy an illusion; no matter how
pernicious; that is so delightful while it lasts。 These are the rare
moments of life。 To be young and ardent; in the midst of an Italian
spring; and to believe in the moral perfection of a beautiful woman
what an admirable situation! Float with the current; I'll stand on
the brink and watch you。〃
〃Your real reason is that you feel you have no case against the poor
lady;〃 said Stanmer。 〃You admire her as much as I do。〃
〃I just admitted that I admired her。 I never said she was a vulgar
flirt; her mother was an absolutely scientific one。 Heaven knows I
admired that! It's a nice point; however; how much one is hound in
honour not to warn a young friend against a dangerous woman because
one also has relations of civility with the lady。〃
〃In such a case;〃 said Stanmer; 〃I would break off my relations。〃
I looked at him; and I think I laughed。
〃Are you jealous of me; by chance?〃
He shook his head emphatically。
〃Not in the least; I like to see you there; because your conduct
contradicts your words。〃
〃I have always said that the Countess is fascinating。〃
〃Otherwise;〃 said Stanmer; 〃in the case you speak of I would give the
lady notice。〃
〃Give her notice?〃
〃Mention to her that you regard her with suspicion; and that you
propose to do your best to rescue a simple…minded youth from her
wiles。 That would be more loyal。〃 And he began to laugh again。
It is not the first time he has laughed at me; but I have never
minded it; because I have always understood it。
〃Is that what you recommend me to say to the Countess?〃 I asked。
〃Recommend you!〃 he exclaimed; laughing again; 〃I recommend nothing。
I may be the victim to be rescued; but I am at least not a partner to
the conspiracy。 Besides;〃 he added in a moment; 〃the Countess knows
your state of mind。〃
〃Has she told you so?〃
Stanmer hesitated。
〃She has begged me to listen to everything you may say against her。
She declares that she has a good conscience。〃
〃Ah;〃 said I; 〃she's an accomplished woman!〃
And it is indeed very clever of her to take that tone。 Stanmer
afterwards assured me explicitly that he has never given her a hint
of the liberties I have taken in conversation withwhat shall I call
it?with her moral nature; she has guessed them for herself。 She
must hate me intensely; and yet her manner has always been so
charming to me! She is truly an accomplished woman!
May 4th。I have stayed away from Casa Salvi for a week; but I have
lingered on in Florence; under a mixture of impulses。 I have had it
on my conscience not to go near the Countess againand yet from the
moment she is aware of the way I feel about her; it is open war。
There need be no scruples on either side。 She is as free to use
every possible art to entangle poor Stanmer more closely as I am to
clip her fine…spun meshes。 Under the circumstances; however; we
naturally shouldn't meet very cordially。 But as regards her meshes;
why; after all; should I clip them? It would really be very
interesting to see Stanmer swallowed up。 I should like to see how he
would agree with her after she had devoured him(to what vulgar
imagery; by the way; does curiosity reduce a man!) Let him finish
the story in his own way; as I finished it in mine。 It is the same
story; but why; a quarter of a century later; should it have the same
denoument? Let him make his own denoument。
5th。Hang it; however; I don't want the poor boy to be miserable。
6th。Ah; but did my denoument then prove such a happy one?
7th。He came to my room late last night; he was much excited。
〃What was it she did to you?〃 he asked。
I answered him first with another question。 〃Have you quarrelled
with the Countess?〃
But he only repeated his own。 〃What was it she did to you?〃
〃Sit down and I'll tell you。〃 And he sat there beside she candle;
staring at me。 〃There was a man always thereCount Camerino。〃
〃The man she married?〃
〃The man she married。 I was very much in love with her; and yet I
didn't trust her。 I was sure that she lied; I believed that she
could be cruel。 Nevertheless; at moments; she had a charm which made
it pure pedantry to be conscious of her faults; and while these
moments lasted I would have done anything for her。 Unfortunately
they didn't last long。 But you know what I mean; am I not describing
the Scarabelli?〃
〃The Countess Scarabelli never lied!〃 cried Stanmer。
〃That's just what I would have said to any one who should have made
the insinutation! But I suppose you are not asking me the question
you put to me just now from dispassionate curiosity。〃
〃A man may want to know!〃 said the innocent fellow。
I couldn't help laughing out。 〃This; at any rate; is my story。
Camerino was always there; he was a sort of fixture in the house。 If
I had moments of dislike for the divine Bianca; I had no moments of
liking for him。 And yet he was a very agreeable fellow; very civil;
very intelligent; not in the least disposed to make a quarrel with
me。 The trouble; of course; was simply that I was jealous of him。 I
don't know; however; on what ground I could have quarrelled with him;
for I had no definite rights。 I can't say what I expectedI can't
say what; as the matter stood; I was prepared to do。 With my name
and my prospects; I might perfectly have offered her my hand。 I am
not sure that she would have accepted itI am by no means clear that
she wanted that。 But she wanted; wanted keenly; to attach me to her;
she wanted to have me about。 I should have been capable of giving up
everythingEngland; my career; my familysimply to devote myself to
her; to live near her and see her every day。〃
〃Why didn't you do it; then?〃 asked Stanmer。
〃Why don't you?〃
〃To be a proper rejoinder to my question;〃 he said; rather neatly;
〃yours should be asked twenty…five years hence。〃
〃It remains perfectly true that at a given moment I was capable of
doing as I say。 That was what she wanteda rich; susceptible;
credulous; convenient young Englishman established near her en
permanence。 And yet;〃 I added; 〃I must do her complete justice。 I
honestly believe she was fond of me。〃 At this Stanmer got up and
walked to the window; he stood looking out a moment; and then he
turned round。 〃You know she was older than I;〃 I went on。 〃Madame
Scarabelli is older than you。 One day in the garden; her mother
asked me in an angry tone why I disliked Camerino; for I had been at
no pains to conceal my feeling about him; and something had just
happened to bring it out。 'I dislike him;' I said; 'because you like
him so much。' 'I assure you I don't like him;' she answered。 'He
has all the appearance of being your lover;' I retorted。 It was a
brutal speech; certainly; but any other man in my place would have
made it。 She took it very strangely; she turned pale; but she was
not indignant。 'How can he be my lover after what he has done?' she
asked。 'What has he done?' She hesitated a good while; then she
said: 'He killed my husband。' 'Good heavens!' I cried; 'and you
receive him!' Do you know what she said? She said; 'Che voule?'〃
〃Is that all?〃 asked Stanmer。
〃No; she went on to say that Camerino had killed Count Salvi in a