the diary of a man of fifty-第6节

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She　looked　deep　into　my　eyes　for　a　moment；　and　then　she　turned　away。



26th。I　have　written　nothing　for　a　good　many　days；　but　meanwhile　I　

have　been　half　a　dozen　times　to　Casa　Salvi。　　I　have　seen　a　good　deal　

also　of　my　young　friendhad　a　good　many　walks　and　talks　with　him。　　I　

have　proposed　to　him　to　come　with　me　to　Venice　for　a　fortnight；　but　

he　won't　listen　to　the　idea　of　leaving　Florence。　　He　is　very　happy　in　

spite　of　his　doubts；　and　I　confess　that　in　the　perception　of　his　

happiness　I　have　lived　over　again　my　own。　　This　is　so　much　the　case　

that　when；　the　other　day；　he　at　last　made　up　his　mind　to　ask　me　to　

tell　him　the　wrong　that　Madame　de　Salvi　had　done　me；　I　rather　checked　

his　curiosity。　　I　told　him　that　if　he　was　bent　upon　knowing　I　would　

satisfy　him；　but　that　it　seemed　a　pity；　just　now；　to　indulge　in　

painful　imagery。



〃But　I　thought　you　wanted　so　much　to　put　me　out　of　conceit　of　our　

friend。〃



〃I　admit　I　am　inconsistent；　but　there　are　various　reasons　for　it。　　In　

the　first　placeit's　obviousI　am　open　to　the　charge　of　playing　a　

double　game。　　I　profess　an　admiration　for　the　Countess　Scarabelli；　

for　I　accept　her　hospitality；　and　at　the　same　time　I　attempt　to　

poison　your　mind；　isn't　that　the　proper　expression？　　I　can't　exactly　

make　up　my　mind　to　that；　though　my　admiration　for　the　Countess　and　my　

desire　to　prevent　you　from　taking　a　foolish　step　are　equally　sincere。　　

And　then；　in　the　second　place；　you　seem　to　me；　on　the　whole；　so　

happy！　　One　hesitates　to　destroy　an　illusion；　no　matter　how　

pernicious；　that　is　so　delightful　while　it　lasts。　　These　are　the　rare　

moments　of　life。　　To　be　young　and　ardent；　in　the　midst　of　an　Italian　

spring；　and　to　believe　in　the　moral　perfection　of　a　beautiful　woman

what　an　admirable　situation！　　Float　with　the　current；　I'll　stand　on　

the　brink　and　watch　you。〃



〃Your　real　reason　is　that　you　feel　you　have　no　case　against　the　poor　

lady；〃　said　Stanmer。　　〃You　admire　her　as　much　as　I　do。〃



〃I　just　admitted　that　I　admired　her。　　I　never　said　she　was　a　vulgar　

flirt；　her　mother　was　an　absolutely　scientific　one。　　Heaven　knows　I　

admired　that！　　It's　a　nice　point；　however；　how　much　one　is　hound　in　

honour　not　to　warn　a　young　friend　against　a　dangerous　woman　because　

one　also　has　relations　of　civility　with　the　lady。〃



〃In　such　a　case；〃　said　Stanmer；　〃I　would　break　off　my　relations。〃



I　looked　at　him；　and　I　think　I　laughed。



〃Are　you　jealous　of　me；　by　chance？〃



He　shook　his　head　emphatically。



〃Not　in　the　least；　I　like　to　see　you　there；　because　your　conduct　

contradicts　your　words。〃



〃I　have　always　said　that　the　Countess　is　fascinating。〃



〃Otherwise；〃　said　Stanmer；　〃in　the　case　you　speak　of　I　would　give　the　

lady　notice。〃



〃Give　her　notice？〃



〃Mention　to　her　that　you　regard　her　with　suspicion；　and　that　you　

propose　to　do　your　best　to　rescue　a　simple…minded　youth　from　her　

wiles。　　That　would　be　more　loyal。〃　　And　he　began　to　laugh　again。



It　is　not　the　first　time　he　has　laughed　at　me；　but　I　have　never　

minded　it；　because　I　have　always　understood　it。



〃Is　that　what　you　recommend　me　to　say　to　the　Countess？〃　I　asked。



〃Recommend　you！〃　he　exclaimed；　laughing　again；　〃I　recommend　nothing。　　

I　may　be　the　victim　to　be　rescued；　but　I　am　at　least　not　a　partner　to　

the　conspiracy。　　Besides；〃　he　added　in　a　moment；　〃the　Countess　knows　

your　state　of　mind。〃



〃Has　she　told　you　so？〃



Stanmer　hesitated。



〃She　has　begged　me　to　listen　to　everything　you　may　say　against　her。　　

She　declares　that　she　has　a　good　conscience。〃



〃Ah；〃　said　I；　〃she's　an　accomplished　woman！〃



And　it　is　indeed　very　clever　of　her　to　take　that　tone。　　Stanmer　

afterwards　assured　me　explicitly　that　he　has　never　given　her　a　hint　

of　the　liberties　I　have　taken　in　conversation　withwhat　shall　I　call　

it？with　her　moral　nature；　she　has　guessed　them　for　herself。　　She　

must　hate　me　intensely；　and　yet　her　manner　has　always　been　so　

charming　to　me！　　She　is　truly　an　accomplished　woman！



May　4th。I　have　stayed　away　from　Casa　Salvi　for　a　week；　but　I　have　

lingered　on　in　Florence；　under　a　mixture　of　impulses。　　I　have　had　it　

on　my　conscience　not　to　go　near　the　Countess　againand　yet　from　the　

moment　she　is　aware　of　the　way　I　feel　about　her；　it　is　open　war。　　

There　need　be　no　scruples　on　either　side。　　She　is　as　free　to　use　

every　possible　art　to　entangle　poor　Stanmer　more　closely　as　I　am　to　

clip　her　fine…spun　meshes。　　Under　the　circumstances；　however；　we　

naturally　shouldn't　meet　very　cordially。　　But　as　regards　her　meshes；　

why；　after　all；　should　I　clip　them？　　It　would　really　be　very　

interesting　to　see　Stanmer　swallowed　up。　　I　should　like　to　see　how　he　

would　agree　with　her　after　she　had　devoured　him（to　what　vulgar　

imagery；　by　the　way；　does　curiosity　reduce　a　man！）　　Let　him　finish　

the　story　in　his　own　way；　as　I　finished　it　in　mine。　　It　is　the　same　

story；　but　why；　a　quarter　of　a　century　later；　should　it　have　the　same　

denoument？　　Let　him　make　his　own　denoument。



5th。Hang　it；　however；　I　don't　want　the　poor　boy　to　be　miserable。



6th。Ah；　but　did　my　denoument　then　prove　such　a　happy　one？



7th。He　came　to　my　room　late　last　night；　he　was　much　excited。



〃What　was　it　she　did　to　you？〃　he　asked。



I　answered　him　first　with　another　question。　　〃Have　you　quarrelled　

with　the　Countess？〃



But　he　only　repeated　his　own。　　〃What　was　it　she　did　to　you？〃



〃Sit　down　and　I'll　tell　you。〃　　And　he　sat　there　beside　she　candle；　

staring　at　me。　　〃There　was　a　man　always　thereCount　Camerino。〃



〃The　man　she　married？〃



〃The　man　she　married。　　I　was　very　much　in　love　with　her；　and　yet　I　

didn't　trust　her。　　I　was　sure　that　she　lied；　I　believed　that　she　

could　be　cruel。　　Nevertheless；　at　moments；　she　had　a　charm　which　made　

it　pure　pedantry　to　be　conscious　of　her　faults；　and　while　these　

moments　lasted　I　would　have　done　anything　for　her。　　Unfortunately　

they　didn't　last　long。　　But　you　know　what　I　mean；　am　I　not　describing　

the　Scarabelli？〃



〃The　Countess　Scarabelli　never　lied！〃　cried　Stanmer。



〃That's　just　what　I　would　have　said　to　any　one　who　should　have　made　

the　insinutation！　　But　I　suppose　you　are　not　asking　me　the　question　

you　put　to　me　just　now　from　dispassionate　curiosity。〃



〃A　man　may　want　to　know！〃　said　the　innocent　fellow。



I　couldn't　help　laughing　out。　　〃This；　at　any　rate；　is　my　story。　　

Camerino　was　always　there；　he　was　a　sort　of　fixture　in　the　house。　　If　

I　had　moments　of　dislike　for　the　divine　Bianca；　I　had　no　moments　of　

liking　for　him。　　And　yet　he　was　a　very　agreeable　fellow；　very　civil；　

very　intelligent；　not　in　the　least　disposed　to　make　a　quarrel　with　

me。　　The　trouble；　of　course；　was　simply　that　I　was　jealous　of　him。　　I　

don't　know；　however；　on　what　ground　I　could　have　quarrelled　with　him；　

for　I　had　no　definite　rights。　　I　can't　say　what　I　expectedI　can't　

say　what；　as　the　matter　stood；　I　was　prepared　to　do。　　With　my　name　

and　my　prospects；　I　might　perfectly　have　offered　her　my　hand。　　I　am　

not　sure　that　she　would　have　accepted　itI　am　by　no　means　clear　that　

she　wanted　that。　　But　she　wanted；　wanted　keenly；　to　attach　me　to　her；　

she　wanted　to　have　me　about。　　I　should　have　been　capable　of　giving　up　

everythingEngland；　my　career；　my　familysimply　to　devote　myself　to　

her；　to　live　near　her　and　see　her　every　day。〃



〃Why　didn't　you　do　it；　then？〃　asked　Stanmer。



〃Why　don't　you？〃



〃To　be　a　proper　rejoinder　to　my　question；〃　he　said；　rather　neatly；　

〃yours　should　be　asked　twenty…five　years　hence。〃



〃It　remains　perfectly　true　that　at　a　given　moment　I　was　capable　of　

doing　as　I　say。　　That　was　what　she　wanteda　rich；　susceptible；　

credulous；　convenient　young　Englishman　established　near　her　en　

permanence。　　And　yet；〃　I　added；　〃I　must　do　her　complete　justice。　　I　

honestly　believe　she　was　fond　of　me。〃　　At　this　Stanmer　got　up　and　

walked　to　the　window；　he　stood　looking　out　a　moment；　and　then　he　

turned　round。　　〃You　know　she　was　older　than　I；〃　I　went　on。　　〃Madame　

Scarabelli　is　older　than　you。　　One　day　in　the　garden；　her　mother　

asked　me　in　an　angry　tone　why　I　disliked　Camerino；　for　I　had　been　at　

no　pains　to　conceal　my　feeling　about　him；　and　something　had　just　

happened　to　bring　it　out。　　'I　dislike　him；'　I　said；　'because　you　like　

him　so　much。'　　'I　assure　you　I　don't　like　him；'　she　answered。　　'He　

has　all　the　appearance　of　being　your　lover；'　I　retorted。　　It　was　a　

brutal　speech；　certainly；　but　any　other　man　in　my　place　would　have　

made　it。　　She　took　it　very　strangely；　she　turned　pale；　but　she　was　

not　indignant。　　'How　can　he　be　my　lover　after　what　he　has　done？'　she　

asked。　　'What　has　he　done？'　　She　hesitated　a　good　while；　then　she　

said：　　'He　killed　my　husband。'　　'Good　heavens！'　I　cried；　'and　you　

receive　him！'　　Do　you　know　what　she　said？　　She　said；　'Che　voule？'〃



〃Is　that　all？〃　asked　Stanmer。



〃No；　she　went　on　to　say　that　Camerino　had　killed　Count　Salvi　in　a