count bunker-第32节

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It　looked　indeed　as　though　a　roasted　goose　must　be　beneath　the　cover。　　He　raised　it；　and　there；　behold！　　lay　a　large　coil　of　excellent　new　rope。　　The　Count　chuckled。

〃Commend　me　to　the　heart　and　the　wit　of　women！　　What　man　would　ever　have　provided　so　dainty　a　dish　as　this？　　Unless；　indeed〃　（he　had　the　breadth　of　mind　to　add）　〃it　happened　to　be　a　charming　adventuress　who　was　in　trouble。〃

Drinking　the　half　pint　of　moderate　claret　which　they　had　allowed　him　to　the　happiness　and　prosperity　of　all　true…hearted　women；　he　could　not　help　regretting　that　his　imprisoned　confederate　should　be　so　unlikely　to　enjoy　similar　good　fortune。

〃He　went　too　far　with　those　two　dear　girls。　　A　woman　deceived　as　he　has　deceived　them　will　never　forgive　him。　　They'd　stand　sentry　at　his　cell…door　sooner　than　let　the　poor　Baron　escape；〃　he　reflected　commiserately；　and　sighed　to　think　of　the　disastrous　effect　this　mishap　might　have　both　upon　his　friend's　diplomatic　career　and　domestic　felicity。

While　waiting　for　the　dusk　to　deepen；　and　endeavoring　to　console　himself　for　the　lack　of　cigars　with　the　poor　remedy　of　cigarettes；　he　employed　his　time　profitably　in　tying　a　series　of　double　knots　upon　the　line　of　rope。　　Then　at　last；　when　he　could　see　the　stars　bright　above　the　trees　and　hear　no　sound　in　the　house；　he　pulled　his　bed　softly　to　the　open　window；　and　to　it　fastened　one　end　of　his　rope　securely。　　The　other　he　quietly　let　drop；　and　losing　not　an　instant　followed　it　hand　under　hand；　murmuring　anathemas　on　the　rough　wall　that　so　scraped　his　evening　trousers。

On　tiptoe　he　stole　to　the　door　through　which　the　bicycle　had　gone。　　It　yielded　to　a　push；　and　once　inside　he　ventured　to　strike　a　match。

〃By　Gad！　　I've　a　choice　of　half　a　dozen；〃　he　exclaimed。

It　need　scarcely　be　said　that　he　selected　the　best；　and　after　slitting　with　his　pocket…knife　the　tires　of　all　the　others；　he　mounted　and　pedalled　quietly　down　the　drive。　　The　lodge　gates　stood　open；　the　road；　a　trifle　muddy　but　clear　of　all　traffic；　stretched　visible　for　a　long　way　in　the　starlight；　the　breeze　blew　fair　behind　him。

〃May　Providence　guide　me　to　the　station；〃　he　prayed；　and　rode　off　into　the　night。



CHAPTER　XXXIII

Suppose　the　clock　be　set　back　four…and…twenty　hours；　and　behold　now　the　Baron　von　Blitzenberg；　the　diplomatist　and　premier　baron　of　Bavaria；　engaged　in　unhappy　argument　with　himself。　　Unhappy；　because　his　reason；　though　so　carefully　trained　from　the　kindergarten　upward；　proved　unable　to　combat　the　dismal　onsets　of　superstition。

〃Pooh！　who　cares　for　an　old　picture？〃　　Reason　would　reiterate。

〃It　is　an　omen；〃　said　Superstition　simply；　and　Reason　stood　convicted　as　an　empty　braggart。

But　if　Time　be　the　great　healer；　Dinner　is　at　least　a　clever　quack；　and　when　he　and　old　Mr。　Rentoul　had　consumed　well…nigh　a　bottle　and　a　half　of　their　host's　port　between　them；　the　outlook　became　much　less　gloomy。　　A　particularly　hilarious　evening　in　the　drawing…　room　completed　the　triumph　of　mind　over　what　he　was　now　able　to　term　〃jost　nonsense；〃　and　he　slept　that　night　as　soundly　as　the　Count　was　simultaneously　slumbering　in　Sir　Justin's　bed…room。　　And　there　was　no　unpleasant　awakening　in　the　Baron's　case。　　On　the　contrary；　all　nature　seemed　in　a　conspiracy　to　make　the　last　day　of　his　adventure　pleasant。　　The　sun　shone　brightly；　his　razors　had　an　excellent　edge；　sausages　were　served　for　breakfast；　and　when　he　joined　the　family　afterwards　he　found　them　as　affectionately　kind　as　a　circle　of　relations。　　In　fact；　the　Baron　had　dropped　more　than　one　hint　the　night　before　of　such　a　nature　that　they　had　some　reason　for　supposing　relationship　imminent。　　It　is　true　Eva　was　a　little　disappointed　that　the　actual　words　were　not　yet　said；　and　when　he　made　an　airy　reference　to　paying　a　farewell　call　that　morning　upon　their　neighbors　at　Lincoln　Lodge；　she　exhibited　so　much　disapproval　in　her　air　that　he　said　at　once

〃Ach；　vell；　I　shall　jost　go　after　lonch　and　be　back　in　an　hour　and　a　half。　　I　jost　vish　to　say　good…bye；　zat　is　all。〃

Little　guessing　how　much　was　to　hang　upon　this　postponement；　he　drove　over　after　luncheon　with　a　mind　entirely　reassured。　　With　only　an　afternoon　to　be　safely　passed；　no　mishap；　he　was　sure；　could　possibly　happen　now。　　If　indeed　the　Maddisons　chose　to　be　offended　with　him；　why；　then；　his　call　would　merely　be　the　briefer　and　he　would　recommend　Eva　for　the　post　of　Lady　Tulliwuddle　without　qualification。　　It　was　his　critics　who　had　reason　to　fear；　not　he。

Miss　Maddison　was　at　home；　the　staff　of　footmen　assured　him；　and；　holding　his　head　as　high　as　a　chieftain　should；　he　strode　into　her　sanctuary。

〃Do　I　disturb　you？〃

He　asked　this　with　a　quicker　beating　heart。　　Not　Eleanor　alone；　but　her　father　and　Ri　confronted　him；　and　it　was　very　plain　to　see　that　a　tempest　was　in　the　brewing。　　Her　eyes　were　bright　with　tears　and　indignation；　their　brows　heavy　with　formidable　frowns。　　At　the　first　moment　of　his　entering；　extreme　astonishment　at　seeing　him　was　clearly　their　dominant　emotion；　and　as　evidently　it　rapidly　developed　into　a　sentiment　even　less　hospitable。

〃Why；　this　beats　the　devil！〃　ejaculated　Mr。　Maddison；　and　for　a　moment　this　was　the　sole　response　to　his　inquiry。

The　next　to　speak　was　Ri

〃Show　it　him；　Poppa！　　Confront　him　with　the　evidence！〃

With　ominous　deliberation　the　millionaire　picked　up　a　newspaper　from　the　floor；　where　apparently　it　had　been　crumpled　and　flung；　smoothed　out　the　creases；　and　approached　the　Baron　till　their　noses　were　in　danger　of　collision。　　While　executing　this　manoeuvre　the　silence　was　only　broken　by　the　suppressed　sobbing　of　his　daughter。　　Then　at　last　he　spoke。

〃Our　mails；　sir；　have　just　arrived。　　This；　sir；　is　'The　Times'　newspaper；　published　in　the　city　of　London　yesterday　morning。〃

He　shook　it　in　the　Baron's　face　with　a　sudden　vehemence　that　caused　that　nobleman　to　execute　an　abrupt　movement　backward。

〃Take　it；〃　continued　the　millionaire〃take　it；　sir；　and　explain　this　if　you　can！〃

So　confused　had　the　Baron's　mind　become　already　that　it　was　with　difficulty　he　could　decipher　the　following　petrifying　announcement

〃TulliwuddleHerringay。In　London；　privately；　Lord　Tulliwuddle　to　Constance；　daughter　of　Robert　Herringay。〃

The　Baron's　brain　reeled。

〃Here　is　another　paragraph　that　may　interest　you；〃　pursued　Mr。　Maddison；　turning　the　paper　outside　in　with　an　alarmingly　vigorous　movement；　and　presenting　a　short　paragraph　for　the　Baron's　inspection。　　This　ran

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃PEER　AND　ACTRESS。


〃As　announced　in　our　marriage　column；　the　wedding　took　place　yesterday；　privately；　of　Lord　Tulliwuddle；　kinsman　and　heir　of　the　late　peer　of　that　name；　so　well　known　in　London　and　Scottish　society；　and　Miss　Constance　Herringay；　better　known　as　'Connie　Fitz　Aubyn；'　of　the　Gaiety　Theatre。　　It　is　understood　that　the　young　couple　have　departed　for　the　Mediterranean。〃

In　a　few　seconds　given　him　to　prepare　his　mind；　the　Baron　desperately　endeavored　to　imagine　what　the　resourceful　Bunker　would　say　or　do　under　these　awful　circumstances。

〃Well；　sir？〃　said　Mr。　Maddison。　　

〃It　is　a　lie！〃

〃A　lie？〃

Ri　laughed　scornfully。

〃Mean　to　say　no　such　marriage　took　place？〃

〃It　vas　not　me。〃

〃Who　was　it；　then？〃

〃Anozzer　man；　perhaps。〃

〃Another　Lord　Tulliwuddle？〃　inquired　the　millionaire。

〃Zey　have　made　a　mistake　mit　ze　name。　　Yes；　zat　is　how。〃

〃Can　it　be　possible？〃　cried　Eleanor　eagerly；　her　grief　for　the　moment　forgotten。

〃No；〃　said　her　father；　〃it　is　not　possible。　　The　announcement　is　confirmed　by　the　paragraph。　　A　mistake　is　inconceivable。〃

The　Baron　thought　he　perceived　a　brilliant　idea。

〃Ach；　it　is　ze　ozzer　Tollvoddle！〃　he　exclaimed。　〃So！　zat　is　it；　of　course。〃

〃You　mean　to　say　there　is　another　peerage　of　Tulliwuddle？〃

〃Oh；　yes。〃

〃Fetch　Debrett；　Ri！〃

But　Ri　had　already　not　only　fetched　Debrett；　but　found　the　place。

〃A　darned　lie。　　Thought　so；〃　he　observed　succinctly。

The　luckless　diplomatist　was　now　committed　to　perdition。

〃It　is　not　in　ze　books；〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃It　is　bot　a　baronetcy。〃

〃A　baronetcy！〃

〃And　illegitimate　also。〃

〃Sir；〃　burst　forth　Ri；　〃you　are　a　thundering　liar！　　Is　this　your　marriage　notice？〃

The　Baron　changed　his　tactics。

〃Yes！〃　he　declared。

Eleanor　screamed。

〃Don't　fuss；　Eleanor；〃　said　her　father　kindly。　　〃That　ain't　true；　anyhow。　　Why；　the　day　before　yesterday　he　was　throwing　that　darned　hammer。〃

〃Which　came　down　last　night　in　our　yard　with　the　head　burst！〃　added　Ri　contemptuously。　　〃Found　you　out　there　too！〃

〃Is　that　so！〃　exclaimed　his　father。

〃That　is　so；　sir！〃

The　three　looked　at　him；　and　it　was　hard　to　say　whether　indignation　or　contempt　was　more　prominent　in　their　faces。　　This　was　more　than　he　could　endure。

〃I　vill　not　be　so　looked　at！〃　he　cried；　〃I　vill　leave　you！〃

〃No　you　won't！〃　said　Ri。

And　the　Baron　saw　his　retreat　cut　of　by　the　athletic　and　determined　young　man。

〃Before　you　leave；　we　have　one　or　two　questions　to　ask　you；〃　said　Mr。　Maddison。　　〃Are　you　Lord　Tulliwuddle；　or　are　you　not？〃

〃Yes！No！〃　replied　the　Baron。

〃Which；　sir？〃

Expanding　his　chest；　he　made　the　awe…inspiring　announcement

〃I　am　moch　greater　zan　Tollyvoddle！　　I　am　ze　Baron　Rudolph　von　Blitzenberg！〃

〃Another　darned