eminent victorians-第63节

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position？　Upon　one　thing　he　was　determined：　whatever　happened；　he

would　not　play　the　part　of　'the　rescued　lamb'。　He　vehemently

asserted　that　the　purpose　of　the　expedition　could　only　be　the

relief　of　the　Sudan　garrisons；　it　was　monstrous　to　imagine　that

it　had　been　undertaken　merely　to　ensure　his　personal　safety。　He

refused　to　believe　it。　In　any　case；　'I　declare　POSITIVELY；'　he

wrote；　with　passionate　underlinings。　'AND　ONCE　FOR　ALL；　THAT　I

WILL　NOT　LEAVE　THE　SUDAN　UNTIL　EVERY　ONE　WHO　WANTS　TO　GO　DOWN　IS

GIVEN　THE　CHANCE　TO　DO　SO；　UNLESS　a　government　is　established

which　relieves　me　of　the　charge；　therefore；　if　any　emissary　or

letter　comes　up　here　ordering　me　to　comedown；　I　WILL　NOT　OBEY　IT；

BUT　WILL　STAY　HERE　AND　FALL　WITH　THE　TOWN；　AND　RUN　ALL　RISKS'。



This　was　sheer　insubordination；　no　doubt；　but　he　could　not　help

that；　it　was　not　in　his　nature　to　be　obedient。　'I　know　if　I　was

chief；　I　would　never　employ　myself；　for　I　am　incorrigible。'

Decidedly；　he　was　not　afraid　to　be　'what　club　men　call

insubordinate；　though；　of　all　insubordinates；　the　club　men　are

the　worst'。



As　for　the　government　which　was　to　replace　him；　there　were

several　alternatives：　an　Egyptian　Pasha　might　succeed　him　as

Governor…General；　or　Zobeir　might　be　appointed　after　all；　or　the

whole　country　might　be　handed　over　to　the　Sultan。　His　fertile

imagination　evolved　scheme　after　scheme；　and　his　visions　of　his

own　future　were　equally　various。　He　would　withdraw　to　the

Equator；　he　would　be　delighted　to　spend　Christmas　in　Brussels；　he

would　。。。　at　any　rate　he　would　never　go　back　to　England。　That　was

certain。　'I　dwell　on　the　joy　of　never　seeing　Great　Britain　again；

with　its　horrid；　wearisome　dinner…parties　and　miseries。　How　we

can　put　up　with　those　things；　passes　my　imagination！　It　is　a

perfect　bondage。。。　I　would　sooner　live　'like　a　Dervish　with　the

Mahdi；　than　go　out　to　dinner　every　night　in　London。　I　hope；　if

any　English　general　comes　to　Khartoum；　he　will　not　ask　me　to

dinner。　Why　men　cannot　be　friends　without　bringing　the　wretched

stomachs　in；　is　astounding。'



But　would　an　English　general　ever　have　the　opportunity　of　asking

him　to　dinner　in　Khartoum？　There　were　moments　when　terrible

misgivings　assailed　him。　He　pieced　together　his　scraps　of

intelligence　with　feverish　exactitude；　he　calculated　times；

distances；　marches。　'If；'　he　wrote　on　October　24th；　they　do　not

come　before　30th　November；　the　game　is　up；　and　Rule　Britannia。'

Curious　premonitions　came　into　his　mind。　When　he　heard　that　the

Mahdi　was　approaching　in　person；　it　seemed　to　be　the　fulfilment

of　a　destiny；　for　he　had　'always　felt　we　were　doomed　to　come　face

to　face'。　What　would　be　the　end　of　it　all？　'It　is；　of　course；　on

the　cards；'　he　noted；　'that　Khartoum　is　taken　under　the　nose　of

the　Expeditionary　Force；　which　will　be　JUST　TOO　LATE。'　The

splendid　hawks　that　swooped　about　the　palace　reminded　him　of　a

text　in　the　Bible：　'The　eye　that　mocketh　at　his　father　and

despiseth　to　obey　his　mother；　the　ravens　of　the　valley　shall　pick

it　out；　and　the　young　eagles　shall　eat　it。'　'I　often　wonder；'　he

wrote；　'whether　they　are　destined　to　pick　my　eyes；　for　I　fear　I

was　not　the　best　of　sons。'



So；　sitting　late　into　the　night；　he　filled　the　empty　telegraph

forms　with　the　agitations　of　his　spirit；　overflowing　ever　more

hurriedly；　more　furiously；　with　lines　of　emphasis；　and　capitals；

and　exclamation…marks　more　and　more　thickly　interspersed；　so　that

the　signs　of　his　living　passion　are　still　visible　to　the　inquirer

of　today　on　those　thin　sheets　of　mediocre　paper　and　in　the

torrent　of　the　ink。　But　he　was　a　man　of　elastic　temperament；　he

could　not　remain　forever　upon　the　stretch；　he　sought；　and　he

found；　relaxation　in　extraneous　mattersin　metaphysical

digressions；　or　in　satirical　outbursts；　or　in　the　small　details

of　his　daily　life。　It　amused　him　to　have　the　Sudanese　soldiers

brought　in　and　shown　their　'black　pug　faces'　in　the　palace

looking…glasses。　He　watched　with　a　cynical　sympathy　the

impertinence　of　a　turkey…cock　that　walked　in　his　courtyard。　He

made　friends　with　a　mouse　who；　'judging　from　her　swelled…out

appearance'；　was　a　lady；　and　came　and　ate　out　of　his　plate。　The

cranes　that　flew　over　Khartoum　in　their　thousands；　and　with　their

curious　cry；　put　him　in　mind　of　the　poems　of　Schiller；　which　few

ever　read；　but　which　he　admired　highly；　though　he　only　knew　them

in　Bulwer's　translation。　He　wrote　little　disquisitions　on

Plutarch　and　purgatory；　on　the　fear　of　death　and　on　the　sixteenth

chapter　of　the　Koran。　Then　the　turkey…cock；　strutting　with　'every

feather　on　end；　and　all　the　colours　of　the　rainbow　on　his　neck'；

attracted　him　once　more；　and　he　filled　several　pages　with　his

opinions　upon　the　immortality　of　animals；　drifting　on　to　a

discussion　of　man's　position　in　the　universe；　and　the　infinite

knowledge　of　God。　It　was　all　clear　to　him。　And　yet'what　a

contradiction；　is　life！　I　hate　Her　Majesty's　Government　for　their

leaving　the　Sudan　after　having　caused　all　its　troubles；　yet　I

believe　our　Lord　rules　heaven　and　earth；　so　I　ought　to　hate　Him；

which　I　（sincerely）　do　not。'




One　painful　thought　obsessed　him。　He　believed　that　the　two

Egyptian　officers；　who　had　been　put　to　death　after　the　defeat　in

March；　had　been　unjustly　executed。　He　had　given　way　to　'outside

influences'；　the　two　Pashas　had　been　'judicially　murdered'。　Again

and　again　he　referred　to　the　incident　with　a　haunting　remorse。

〃The　Times〃；　perhaps；　would　consider　that　he　had　been　justified；

but　what　did　that　matter？　'If　The　Times　saw　this　in　print；　it

would　say；　〃Why；　then；　did　you　act　as　you　did？〃　to　which　I　fear　I

have　no　answer。'　He　determined　to　make　what　reparation　he　could；

and　to　send　the　families　of　the　unfortunate　Pashas　￡1；000　each。



On　a　similar；　but　a　less　serious；　occasion；　he　put　the　same

principle　into　action。　He　boxed　the　ears　of　a　careless　telegraph

clerk'and　then；　as　my　conscience　pricked　me；　I　gave　him　5。　He

said　he　did　not　mind　if　I　killed　him　I　was　his　father　（a

chocolate…coloured　youth　of　twenty）。'　His　temper；　indeed；　was

growing　more　and　more　uncertain；　as　he　himself　was　well　aware。　He

observed　with　horror　that　men　trembled　when　they　came　into　his

presencethat　their　hands　shook　so　that　they　could　not　hold　a

match　to　a　cigarette。



He　trusted　no　one。　Looking　into　the　faces　of　those　who　surrounded

him；　he　saw　only　the　ill…dissimulated　signs　of　treachery　and

dislike。　Of　the　40；000　inhabitants　of　Khartoum　he　calculated　that

two…thirds　were　willingwere　perhaps　anxiousto　become　the

subjects　of　the　Mahdi。　'These　people　are　not　worth　any　great

sacrifice；'　he　bitterly　observed。　The　Egyptian　officials　were

utterly　incompetent；　the　soldiers　were　cowards。　All　his

admiration　was　reserved　for　his　enemies。　The　meanest　of　the

Mahdi's　followers　was；　he　realised；　'a　determined　warrior；　who

could　undergo　thirst　and　privation；　who　no　more　cared　for　pain　or

death　than　if　he　were　stone'。　Those　were　the　men　whom；　if　the

choice　had　lain　with　him；　he　would　have　wished　to　command。　And

yet；　strangely　enough；　he　persistently　underrated　the　strength　of

the　forces　against　him。　A　handful　of　Englishmen　a　handful　of

Turks　would；　he　believed；　be　enough　to　defeat　the　Mahdi's　hosts

and　destroy　his　dominion。　He　knew　very　little　Arabic；　and　he

depended　for　his　information　upon　a　few　ignorant　English…speaking

subordinates。　The　Mahdi　himself　he　viewed　with　ambiguous

feelings。　He　jibed　at　him　as　a　vulgar　impostor；　but　it　is　easy　to

perceive；　under　his　scornful　jocularities；　the　traces　of　an

uneasy　respect。



He　spent　long　hours　upon　the　palace　roof；　gazing　northwards；　but

the　veil　of　mystery　and　silence　was　unbroken。　In　spite　of　the

efforts　of　Major　Kitchener；　the　officer　in　command　of　the

Egyptian　Intelligence　Service；　hardly　any　messengers　ever　reached

Khartoum；　and　when　they　did；　the　information　they　brought　was

tormentingly　scanty。　Major　Kitchener　did　not　escape　the

attentions　of　Gordon's　pen。　When　news　came　at　last；　it　was

terrible：　Colonel　Stewart　and　his　companions　had　been　killed。　The

Abbas；　after　having　passed　uninjured　through　the　part　of　the

river　commanded　by　the　Mahdi's　troops；　had　struck　upon　a　rock；

Colonel　Stewart　had　disembarked　in　safety；　and；　while　he　was

waiting　for　camels　to　convey　the　detachment　across　the　desert

into　Egypt；　had　accepted　the　hospitality　of　a　local　Sheikh。

Hardly　had　the　Europeans　entered　the　Sheikh's　hut　when　they　were

set　upon　and　murdered；　their　native　followers　shared　their　fate。

The　treacherous　Sheikh　was　an　adherent　of　the　Mahdi；　and　to　the

Mahdi　all　Colonel　Stewart's　papers；　filled　with　information　as　to

the　condition　of　Khartoum；　were　immediately　sent。　When　the　first

rumours　of　the　disaster　reached　Gordon；　he　pictured；　in　a　flash

of　intuition；　the　actual　details　of　the　catastrophe。　'I　feel

somehow　convinced；'　he　wrote；　they　were　captured　by　treachery。。。

Stewart　was　not　a　bit　suspicious　（I　am　made　up　of　it）。　I