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and re…read with an untiring; unending assiduity。 There; he 

was convinced; all truth was to be found; and he was equally 

convinced that he could find it。 The doubts of philosophers; the 

investigations of commentators; the smiles of men of the world; 

the dogmas of Churches such things meant nothing to the

Colonel。 

Two facts alone were evident: there was the Bible; and there was 

himself; and all that remained to be done was for him to discover



what were the Bible's instructions; and to act accordingly。 In 

order to make this discovery it was only necessary for him to 

read the Bible over and over again; and therefore; for the rest 

of his life; he did so。



The faith that he evolved was mystical and fatalistic; it was 

also highly unconventional。 His creed; based upon the narrow 

foundations of Jewish Scripture; eked out occasionally by some 

English evangelical manual; was yet wide enough to ignore every 

doctrinal difference; and even; at moments; to transcend the 

bounds of Christianity itself。 The just man was he who submitted 

to the Will of God; and the Will of God; inscrutable and 

absolute; could be served aright only by those who turned away 

from earthly desires and temporal temptations; to rest themselves



whole…heartedly upon the in…dwelling Spirit。 Human beings were 

the transitory embodiments of souls who had existed through an 

infinite past; and would continue to exist through an infinite 

future。 



The world was vanity; the flesh was dust and ashes。 'A man;'

Gordon 

wrote to his sister; 'who knows not the secret; who has not the

in…dwelling 

of God revealed to him; is like this'picture of a circle with

Body and 

Soul written within it'。  He takes the promises and curses as

addressed 

to him as one man; and will not hear of there being any birth

before his 

natural birth; in any existence except with the body he is in。

The man to 

whom the secret (the indwelling of God) is revealed is like this:

'picture 

of a circle with soul and body enclosed in two separate circles'。



He applies the promises to one and the curses to the other; if 

disobedient; which he must be; except the soul is enabled by God 

to rule。 He then sees he is not of this world; for when he speaks



of himself he quite disregards the body his soul lives in; which 

is earthly。' Such conceptions are familiar enough in the history 

of religious thought: they are those of the hermit and the fakir;



and it might have been expected that; when once they had taken 

hold upon his mind; Gordon would have been content to lay aside 

the activities of his profession; and would have relapsed at last



into the complete retirement of holy meditation。 But there were 

other elements in his nature which urged him towards a very 

different course。 He was no simple quietist。 He was an English 

gentleman; an officer; a man of energy and action; a lover of 

danger and the audacities that defeat danger; a passionate 

creature; flowing over with the self…assertiveness of independent



judgment and the arbitrary temper of command。 



Whatever he might find in his pocket…Bible; it was not for such

as 

he to dream out his days in devout obscurity。 But; conveniently

enough; 

he found nothing in his pocket…Bible indicating that he should。

What 

he did find was that the Will of God was inscrutable and

absolute; 

that it was man's duty to follow where God's hand led; and; if 

God's hand led towards violent excitements and extraordinary 

vicissitudes; that it was not only futile; it was impious to 

turn another way。 Fatalism is always apt to be a double…edged 

philosophy; for while; on the one hand; it reveals the minutest 

occurrences as the immutable result of a rigid chain of 

infinitely predestined causes; on the other; it invests the 

wildest incoherences of conduct or of circumstance with the 

sanctity of eternal law。 And Gordon's fatalism was no exception。 

The same doctrine that led him to dally with omens; to search for



prophetic texts; and to append; in brackets; the apotropaic 

initials D。V。 after every statement in his letters implying 

futurity; led him also to envisage his moods and his desires; his



passing reckless whims and his deep unconscious instincts; as the



mysterious manifestations of the indwelling God。 That there was 

danger lurking in such a creed he was very well aware。 The 

grosser temptations of the world money and the vulgar

attributes 

of power had; indeed; no charms for him; but there were subtler



and more insinuating allurements which it was not so easy to 

resist。 More than one observer declared that ambition was; in 

reality; the essential motive in his life: ambition; neither for 

wealth nor titles; but for fame and influence; for the swaying of



multitudes; and for that kind of enlarged and intensified 

existence 'where breath breathes most even in the mouths of men'。

 

Was it so? In the depths of Gordon's soul there were intertwining



contradictions intricate recesses where egoism and renunciation



melted into one another; where the flesh lost itself in the 

spirit; and the spirit in the flesh。 What was the Will of God? 

The question; which first became insistent during his retirement 

at Gravesend; never afterwards left him; it might almost be said 

that he spent the remainder of his life in searching for the 

answer to it。 In all his Odysseys; in all his strange and 

agitated adventures; a day never passed on which he neglected the



voice of eternal wisdom as it spoke through the words of Paul or 

Solomon; of Jonah or Habakkuk。 He opened his Bible; he read; and 

then he noted down his reflections upon scraps of paper; which; 

periodically pinned together; he dispatched to one or other of 

his religious friends; and particularly his sister Augusta。 The 

published extracts from these voluminous outpourings lay bare the



inner history of Gordon's spirit; and reveal the pious visionary 

of Gravesend in the restless hero of three continents。



His seclusion came to an end in a distinctly providential manner。



In accordance with a stipulation in the Treaty of Paris; an 

international commission had been appointed to improve the 

navigation of the Danube; and Gordon; who had acted on a similar 

body fifteen years earlier; was sent out to represent Great 

Britain。 At Constantinople; he chanced to meet the Egyptian 

minister; Nubar Pasha。 The Governorship of the Equatorial 

Provinces of the Sudan was about to fall vacant; and Nubar 

offered the post to Gordon; who accepted it。 'For some wise 

design;' he wrote to his sister; 'God turns events one way or 

another; whether man likes it or not; as a man driving a horse 

turns it to right or left without consideration as to whether the



horse likes that way or not。 To be happy; a man must be like a 

well…broken; willing horse; ready for anything。 Events will go as



God likes。'



And then followed six years of extraordinary; desperate; 

unceasing; and ungrateful labour。 The unexplored and pestilential



region of Equatoria; stretching southwards to the Great Lakes and



the sources of the Nile; had been annexed to Egypt by the Khedive



Ismail; who; while he squandered his millions on Parisian ballet…

dancers; dreamt strange dreams of glory and empire。 Those dim 

tracts of swamp and forest in Central Africa were so he 

declared to be 'opened up'; they were to receive the blessings 

of civilisation; they were to become a source of eternal honour 

to himself and Egypt。 The slave…trade; which flourished there; 

was to be put down; the savage inhabitants were to become 

acquainted with freedom; justice; and prosperity。 Incidentally; a



government monopoly in ivory was to be established; and the place



was to be made a paying concern。 Ismail; hopelessly in debt to a 

horde of European creditors; looked to Europe to support him in 

his schemes。 Europe; and; in particular; England; with her 

passion for extraneous philanthropy; was not averse。 



Sir Samuel Baker became the first Governor of Equatoria; and now 

Gordon was to carry on the good work。 In such circumstances it

was 

only natural that Gordon should consider himself a special

instrument 

in God's band。 To put his disinterestedness beyond doubt; he 

reduced his salary; which had been fixed at £10;000; to £2;000。

He 

took over his new duties early in 1874; and it was not long 

before he had a first hint of disillusionment。 On his way up the 

Nile; he was received in state at Khartoum by the Egyptian 

Governor General of the Sudan; his immediate official superior。



The function ended in a prolonged banquet; followed by a mixed 

ballet of soldiers and completely naked young women; who danced 

in a circle; beat time with their feet; and accompanied their 

gestures with a curious sound of clucking。 At last the Austrian 

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