miss billy-第33节

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〃No；　no；　please！〃　she　begged。　　〃It　really　isn't　anything。　　I'm　sure
I'm　imagining　it　all！〃　she　cried；　as　she　ran　away。

During　the　days　that　followed；　Billy　speculated　not　a　little　on
Marie's　half…told　story；　and　wondered　interestedly　who　the　man
might　be。　　She　questioned　Marie　once　again；　but　the　girl　would　tell
nothing　more；　and；　indeed；　Billy　was　so　occupied　with　her　own
perplexities　that　she　had　little　time　for　those　of　other　people。

To　herself　Billy　was　forced　to　own　that　she　was　not　〃getting　used
to　things。〃　　She　was　still　self…conscious　with　William；　she　could
not　forget　that　she　was　one　day　to　be　his　wife。　　She　could　not
bring　back　the　dear　old　freedom　of　comradeship　with　him。

Billy　was　alarmed　now。　　She　had　begun　to　ask　herself　searching
questions。　　What　should　she　do　if　never；　never　should　she　get　used
to　the　idea　of　marrying　William？　　How　could　she　marry　him　if　he　was
still　〃Uncle　William；〃　and　never　her　dear　lover　in　her　eyes？　　Why
had　she　not　been　wise　enough　and　brave　enough　to　tell　him　in　the
first　place　that　she　was　not　at　all　sure　that　she　loved　him；　but
that　she　would　try　to　do　so？　　Then　when　she　had　triedas　she　had
nowand　failed；　she　could　have　told　him　honestly　the　truth；　and　it
would　not　have　been　so　great　a　shock　to　him　as　it　must　be　now；　if
she　should　tell　him。

Billy　had　remorsefully　come　to　the　conclusion　that　she　could　never
love　any　man　well　enough　to　marry　him；　when　one　day　so　small　a
thing　as　a　piece　of　paper　fluttered　into　her　vision；　and　showed　her
the　fallacy　of　that　idea。

It　was　a　half…sheet　of　note　paper；　and　it　blew　from　Marie's　balcony
to　the　lawn　below。　　Billy　found　it　there　later；　and　as　she　picked
it　up　her　eyes　fell　on　a　single　name　in　Marie's　handwriting
inscribed　half　a　dozen　times　as　if　the　writer　had　musingly
accompanied　her　thoughts　with　her　pen；　and　the　name　was；　〃Marie
Henshaw。〃

For　a　moment　Billy　stared　at　the　name　perplexedlythen　in　a　flash
came　the　remembrance　of　Marie's　words；　and　Billy　breathed：
〃Henshaw！the　manBERTRAM！〃

Billy　dropped　the　paper　then　and　fled。　　In　her　own　room；　behind
locked　doors；　she　sat　down　to　think。

Bertram！　　It　was　he　for　whom　Marie　caredHER　Bertram！　　And　then　it
came　to　Billy　with　staggering　force　that　he　was　not　HER　Bertram　at
all。　　He　never　could　be　her　Bertram　now。　　He　wasMarie's。

Billy　was　frightened　then；　so　fierce　was　this　strange　new　something
that　rose　within　herthis　overpowering　something　that　seemed　to
blot　out　all　the　world；　and　leave　onlyBertram。　　She　knew　then；
that　it　had　always　been　Bertram　to　whom　she　had　turned；　though　she
had　been　blind　to　the　cause　of　that　turning。　　Always　her　plans　had
included　him。　　Always　she　had　been　the　happiest　in　his　presence；
never　had　she　pictured　him　anywhere　else　but　at　her　side。
Certainly　never　had　she　pictured　him　as　the　devoted　lover　of
another　woman！　。　。　。　　And　she　had　not　known　what　it　all　meant
poor　blind　child　that　she　was！

Very　resolutely　now　Billy　set　herself　to　looking　matters　squarely
in　the　face。　　She　understood　it　quite　well。　　All　summer　Marie　and
Bertram　had　been　thrown　together。　　No　wonder　Marie　had　fallen　in
love　with　Bertram；　and　that　heBilly　thought　she　comprehended　now
why　Bertram　had　found　it　so　easy　for　the　last　few　weeks　to　be
William's　brother。　　She；　of　course；　had　been　the　〃other　girl〃　whom
Marie　had　once　feared　that　the　man　loved。　　It　was　all　so　clearso
woefully　clear！

With　an　aching　heart　Billy　asked　herself　what　now　was　to　be　done。
For　herself；　turn　whichever　way　she　could；　she　could　see　nothing
but　unhappiness。　　She　determined；　therefore；　with　Spartan
fortitude；　that　to　no　one　else　would　she　bring　equal　unhappiness。
She　would　be　silent。　　Bertram　and　Marie　loved　each　other。　　That
matter　was　settled。　　As　to　WilliamBilly　thought　of　the　story
William　had　told　her　of　his　lonely　life；of　the　plea　he　had　made
to　her；　and　her　heart　ached。　　Whatever　happened；　William　must　be
made　happy。　　William　must　not　be　told。　　Her　promise　to　William　must
be　kept。



CHAPTER　XL

WILLIAM　PAYS　A　VISIT


Before　September　passed　all　Billy's　friends　said　that　her　summer's
self…appointed　task　had　been　too　hard　for　her。　　In　no　other　way
could　they　account　for　the　sad　change　that　had　come　to　her。

Undeniably　Billy　looked　really　ill。　　Always　slender；　she　was
shadow…like　now。　　Her　eyes　had　found　again　the　wistful　appeal　of
her　girlhood；　only　now　they　carried　something　that　was　almost　fear；
as　well。　　The　rose…flush　had　gone　from　her　cheeks；　and　pathetic
little　hollows　had　appeared；　making　the　round　young　chin　below　look
almost　pointed。　　Certainly　Billy　did　seem　to　be　ill。

Late　in　September　William　went　West　on　business。　　Incidentally　he
called　to　see　his　sister；　Kate。

〃Well；　and　how　is　everybody？〃　asked　Kate；　cheerily；　after　the
greetings　were　over。

William　sighed。

〃Well；　'everybody；'　to　me；　Kate；　is　pretty　badly　off。　　We're
worried　about　Billy。〃

〃Billy！　　You　don't　mean　she's　sick？　　Why；　she's　always　been　the
picture　of　health！〃

〃I　know　she　has；　but　she　isn't　now。〃

〃What's　the　trouble？〃

〃That's　what　we　don't　know。〃

〃You've　had　the　doctor？〃

〃Of　course；　two　or　three　of　themthough　much　against　Billy's　will。
Butthey　didn't　help　us。〃

〃What　did　they　say？〃

〃They　could　find　nothing　except　perhaps　a　little　temporary　stomach
trouble；　or　something　of　that　kind；　which　they　all　agreed　was　no
just　cause　for　her　present　condition。〃

〃But　what　did　they　say　it　was？〃

〃Why；　they　said　it　seemed　like　nervousness；　or　as　if　something　was
troubling　her。　　They　asked　if　she　weren't　under　some　sort　of
strain。〃

〃Well；　is　she？　　Does　anything　trouble　her？〃

〃Not　that　I　know　of。　　Anyhow；　if　there　is　anything；　none　of　us　can
find　out　what　it　is。〃

Kate　frowned。　　She　threw　a　quick　look　into　her　brother's　face。

〃William；〃　she　began　hesitatingly；　〃forgive　me；　butBilly　is　quite
happy　inher　engagement；　I　suppose。〃

The　man　flushed　painfully；　and　sighed。

〃I've　thought　of　that；　of　course。　　In　fact；　it　was　the　first　thing
I　did　think　of。　　I　even　began　to　watch　her　rather　closely；　and　once
Iquestioned　her　a　little。〃

〃What　did　she　say？〃

〃She　seemed　so　frightened　and　distressed　that　I　didn't　say　much
myself。　　I　couldn't。　　I　had　but　just　begun　when　her　eyes　filled
with　tears；　and　she　asked　me　in　a　frightened　little　voice　if　she
had　done　anything　to　displease　me；　anything　to　make　me　unhappy；　and
she　seemed　so　anxious　and　grieved　and　dismayed　that　I　should　even
question　her；　that　I　had　to　stop。〃

〃What　has　she　done　this　summer？　　Where　has　she　been？〃

〃She　hasn't　been　anywhere。　　Didn't　I　write　you？　　She's　kept　open
house　for　a　lot　of　her　less　fortunate　friendsa　sort　of　vacation
home；　you　know；　andand　I　must　say　she's　given　them　a　world　of
happiness；　too。〃

〃But　wasn't　that　hard　for　her？〃

〃It　didn't　seem　to　be。　　She　appeared　to　enjoy　it　immensely；
particularly　at　first。　　Of　course　she　had　plenty　of　help；　and　that
wonderful　little　Miss　Hawthorn　has　been　a　host　in　herself。　　They're
all　gone　now；　anyway；　except　Miss　Hawthorn。〃

〃But　Billy　must　have　had　the　care　and　the　excitement。〃

〃Perhapsto　a　certain　extent。　　Though　not　much；　after　all。　　You
see　Bertram；　too；　has　given　up　his　summer　to　them；　and　has　been
playing　the　devoted　escort　to　the　whole　bunch。　　Indeed；　for　the
last　few　weeks　of　it；　since　Billy　began　to　seem　so　ill；　he　and　Miss
Hawthorn　have　schemed　to　take　all　the　care　from　Billy；　and　they
have　done　the　whole　thing　together。〃

〃But　what　HAS　Billy　done　to　make　her　like　this？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　She's　done　lots　for　me；　in　all　sorts　of　ways
cataloguing　my　curios；　you　know；　and　going　with　me　to　hunt　up
things。　　In　fact；　she　seems　the　happiest　when　she　IS　doing
something　for　me。　　It's　come　to　be　a　sort　of　mania　with　her；　I'm
afraidto　do　something　for　me。　　Kate；　I'm　really　worried。　　What　do
you　suppose　is　the　matter？〃

Kate　shook　her　head。　　The　puzzled　frown　had　come　back　to　her　face。

〃I　can't　imagine；〃　she　began　slowly。　　〃Of　course；　when　I　told　her
you　loved　her　and〃

〃When　you　told　her　wha…at？〃　exploded　the　usually　low…voiced
William；　with　sudden　sharpness。

〃When　I　told　her　that　you　loved　her；　William。　　You　see；　I〃

William　sprang　to　his　feet。

〃Told　her　that　I　loved　her！〃　he　cried；　aghast。　　〃Good　heavens；
Kate；　do　you　mean　to　say　that　YOU　told　her　THAT。〃

〃Why；　y…yes。〃

〃And　may　I　ask　where　you　got　your　information？〃

〃Why；　William　Henshaw；　what　a　question！　　I　got　it　from　yourself；　of
course；〃　defended　Kate。

〃From　ME！〃　　William's　face　expressed　sheer　amazement。

〃Certainly；　on　that　drive　when　I　was　East　in　June；〃　returned　Kate；
with　dignity。　　〃YOU　evidently　have　forgotten　it；　but　I　have　not。
You　told　me　very　frankly　how　much　you　thought　of　her；　and　how　you
longed　to　have　her　back　there　with　you；　but　that　she　didn't　seem　to
be　ready　to　come。　　I　was　sorry　for　you；　and　I　wanted　to　do
something　to　help；　particularly　as　it　might　have　been　my　fault；
partly；　that　she　went　away；　in　the　first　place。〃

William　lifted　his　head。

〃What　do　you　mean？〃

〃Why；　nothing；　only　that　II　told　her　a　little　of　howhow
upsetting　her　arrival　had　been　to　everything；　and　of　how　much　you
had　done　for　her；　and　put　yourself　out。　　I　said　it　so　sh