miss billy-第30节

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for　him　to　speak　to　Billy；　William　delayed　some　days　before
broaching　the　matter　to　her。　　His　courage　was　not　so　good　as　it　had
been　when　he　was　talking　with　Kate。　　It　seemed　now；　as　it　always
had；　a　fearsome　thing　to　try　to　hasten　on　this　love　affair　between
Billy　and　Bertram。　　He　could　not　see；　in　spite　of　Kate's　words；
that　Billy　showed　unmistakable　evidence　at　all　of　being　in　love
with　his　brother。　　The　more　he　thought　of　it；　in　fact；　the　more　he
dreaded　the　carrying　out　of　his　promise　to　speak　to　his　namesake。

What　should　he　say；　he　asked　himself。　　How　could　he　word　it？　　He
could　not　very　well　accost　her　with：　　〃Oh；　Billy；　I　wish　you'd
please　hurry　up　and　marry　Bertram；　because　then　you'd　come　and　live
with　me。〃　　Neither　could　he　plead　Bertram's　cause　directly。　　Quite
probably　Bertram　would　prefer　to　plead　his　own。　　Then；　too；　if
Billy　really　was　not　in　love　with　Bertramwhat　then？　　Might　not
his　own　untimely　haste　in　the　matter　forever　put　an　end　to　the
chance　of　her　caring　for　him？

It　was；　indeed；　a　delicate　matter；　and　as　William　pondered　it　he
wished　himself　well　out　of　it；　and　that　Kate　had　not　spoken。　　But
even　as　he　formed　the　wish；　William　remembered　with　a　thrill　Kate's
positive　assertion　that　a　word　from　him　would　do　wonders；　and　that
now　was　the　time　to　utter　it。　　He　decided　then　that　he　would　speak；
that　he　must　speak；　but　that　at　the　same　time　he　would　proceed　with
a　caution　that　would　permit　a　hasty　retreat　if　he　saw　that　his
words　were　not　having　the　desired　effect。　　He　would　begin　with　a
frank　confession　of　his　grief　at　her　leaving　him；　and　of　his
longing　for　her　return；　then　very　gradually；　if　wisdom　counseled
it；　he　would　go　on　to　speak　of　Bertram's　love　for　her；　and　of　his
own　hope　that　she　would　make　Bertram　and　all　the　Strata　glad　by
loving　him　in　return。

Mrs。　Hartwell　had　returned　to　her　Western　home　before　William　found
just　the　opportunity　for　his　talk　with　Billy。　　True　to　his　belief
that　only　hushed　voices　and　twilight　were　fitting　for　such　a
subject；　he　waited　until　he　found　the　girl　early　one　evening　alone
on　her　vine…shaded　veranda。　　He　noticed　that　as　he　seated　himself
at　her　side　she　flushed　a　little　and　half　started　to　rise；　with　a
nervous　fluttering　of　her　hands；　and　a　murmured　〃I'll　call　Aunt
Hannah。〃　　It　was　then　that　with　sudden　courage；　he　resolved　to
speak。

〃Billy；　don't　go；〃　he　said　gently；　with　a　touch　of　his　hand　on　her
arm。　　〃There　is　something　I　want　to　say　to　you。　　II　have　wanted
to　say　it　for　some　time。〃

〃Why；　ofof　course；〃　stammered　the　girl；　falling　back　in　her　seat。
And　again　William　noticed　that　odd　fluttering　of　the　slim　little
hands。

For　a　time　no　one　spoke；　then　William　began　softly；　his　eyes　on　the
distant　sky…line　still　faintly　aglow　with　the　sunset's　reflection。

〃Billy；　I　want　to　tell　you　a　story。　　Long　years　ago　there　was　a　man
who　had　a　happy　home　with　a　young　wife　and　a　tiny　baby　boy　in　it。
I　could　not　begin　to　tell　you　all　the　plans　that　man　made　for　that
baby　boy。　　Such　a　great　and　good　and　wonderful　being　that　tiny　baby
was　one　day　to　become。　　But　the　babywent　away；　after　a　time；　and
carried　with　him　all　the　plansand　he　never　came　back。　　Behind　him
he　left　empty　hearts　that　ached；　and　great　bare　rooms　that　seemed
always　to　be　echoing　sighs　and　sobs。　　And　then；　one　day；　such　a　few
years　after；　the　young　wife　went　to　find　her　baby；　and　left　the　man
all　alone　with　the　heart　that　ached　and　the　great　bare　rooms　that
echoed　sighs　and　sobs。

〃Perhaps　it　was　thisthe　bareness　of　the　roomsthat　made　the　man
turn　to　his　boyish　passion　for　collecting　things。　　He　wanted　to
fill　those　rooms　full；　full！so　that　the　sighs　and　sobs　could　not
be　heard；　and　he　wanted　to　fill　his　heart；　too；　with　something　that
would　still　the　ache。　　And　he　tried。　　Already　he　had　his　boyish
treasures；　and　these　he　lined　up　in　brave　array；　but　his　rooms
still　echoed；　and　his　heart　still　ached；　so　he　built　more　shelves
and　bought　more　cabinets；　and　set　himself　to　filling　them；　hoping
at　the　same　time　that　he　might　fill　all　that　dreary　waste　of　hours
outside　of　businesshours　which　once　had　been　all　too　short　to
devote　to　the　young　wife　and　the　baby　boy。

〃One　by　one　the　years　passed；　and　one　by　one　the　shelves　and　the
cabinets　were　filled。　　The　man　fancied；　sometimes；　that　he　had
succeeded；　but　in　his　heart　of　hearts　he　knew　that　the　ache　was
merely　dulled；　and　that　darkness　had　only　to　come　to　set　the　rooms
once　more　to　echoing　the　sighs　and　sobs。　　And　thenbut　perhaps　you
are　tired　of　the　story；　Billy。〃　　William　turned　with　questioning
eyes。

〃No；　oh；　no；〃　faltered　Billy。　　〃It　is　beautiful；　but　sosad！〃

〃But　the　saddest　part　is　doneI　hope；〃　said　William；　softly。　　〃Let
me　tell　you。　　A　wonderful　thing　happened　then。　　Suddenly；　right　out
of　a　dull　gray　sky　of　hopelessness；　dropped　a　little　brown…eyed
girl　and　a　little　gray　cat。　　All　over　the　house　they　frolicked；
filling　every　nook　and　cranny　with　laughter　and　light　and
happiness。　　And　then；　like　magic；　the　man　lost　the　ache　in　his
heart；　and　the　rooms　lost　their　echoing　sighs　and　sobs。　　The　man
knew；　then；　that　never　again　could　he　hope　to　fill　his　heart　and
life　with　senseless　things　of　clay　and　metal。　　He　knew　that　the　one
thing　he　wanted　always　near　him　was　the　little　brown…eyed　girl；　and
he　hoped　that　he　could　keep　her。　　But　just　as　he　was　beginning　to
bask　in　this　new　lightit　went　out。　　As　suddenly　as　they　had　come；
the　little　brown…eyed　girl　and　the　gray　cat　went　away。　　Why；　the
man　did　not　know。　　He　knew　only　that　the　ache　had　come　back；　doubly
intense；　and　that　the　rooms　were　more　gloomy　than　ever。　　And　now；
Billy；〃William's　voice　shook　a　little〃it　is　for　you　to　finish
the　story。　　It　is　for　you　to　say　whether　that　man's　heart　shall
ache　on　and　on　down　to　a　lonely　old　age；　and　whether　those　rooms
shall　always　echo　the　sighs　and　sobs　of　the　past。〃

〃And　I　will　finish　it；〃　choked　Billy；　holding　out　both　her　hands。
〃It　sha'n't　achethey　sha'n't　echo！〃

The　man　leaned　forward　eagerly；　unbelievingly；　and　caught　the　hands
in　his　own。

〃Billy；　do　you　mean　it？　　Then　you　willcome？〃

〃Yes；　yes！　　I　didn't　knowI　didn't　think。　　I　never　supposed　it　was
like　that！　　Of　course　I'll　come！〃　　And　in　a　moment　she　was　sobbing
in　his　arms。

〃Billy！〃　breathed　William　rapturously；　as　he　touched　his　lips　to
her　forehead。　　〃My　own　little　Billy！〃

It　was　a　few　minutes　later；　when　Billy　was　more　calm；　that　William
started　to　speak　of　Bertram。　　For　a　moment　he　had　been　tempted　not
to　mention　his　brother；　now　that　his　own　point　had　been　won　so
surprisingly　quick；　but　the　new　softness　in　Billy's　face　had
encouraged　him；　and　he　did　not　like　to　let　the　occasion　pass　when　a
word　from　him　might　do　so　much　for　Bertram。　　His　lips　parted；　but
no　words　cameBilly　herself　had　begun　to　speak。

〃I'm　sure　I　don't　know　why　I'm　crying；〃　she　stammered；　dabbing　her
eyes　with　her　round　moist　ball　of　a　handerchief。　　〃I　hope　when　I'm
your　wife　I'll　learn　to　be　more　self…controlled。　　But　you　know　I　am
young；　and　you'll　have　to　be　patient。〃

As　once　before　at　something　Billy　said；　the　world　to　William　went
suddenly　mad。　　His　head　swam　dizzily；　and　his　throat　tightened　so
that　he　could　scarcely　breathe。　　By　sheer　force　of　will　he　kept　his
arm　about　Billy's　shoulder；　and　he　prayed　that　she　might　not　know
how　numb　and　cold　it　had　grown。　　Even　then　he　thought　he　could　not
have　heard　aright。

〃Eryou　said〃　he　questioned　faintly。

〃I　say　when　I'm　your　wife　I　hope　I'll　learn　to　be　more　self…
controlled；〃　laughed　Billy；　nervously。　　〃You　see　I　just　thought　I
ought　to　remind　you　that　I　am　young；　and　that　you'll　have　to　be
patient。〃

William　stammered　somethinga　hurried　something；　he　wondered
afterward　what　it　was。　　That　it　must　have　been　satisfactory　to
Billy　was　evident；　for　she　began　laughingly　to　talk　again。　　What
she　said；　William　scarcely　knew；　though　he　was　conscious　of　making
an　occasional　vague　reply。　　He　was　still　floundering　in　a　hopeless
sea　of　confusion　and　dismay。　　His　own　desire　was　to　get　up　and　say
good　night　at　once。　　He　wanted　to　be　alone　to　think。　　He　realized；
however；　with　sickening　force；　that　men　do　not　propose　and　run
awayif　they　are　accepted。　　And　he　was　accepted；　he　realized　that；
too；　overwhelmingly。　　Then　he　tried　to　think　how　it　had　happened；
what　he　had　said；　how　she　could　so　have　misunderstood　his　meaning。
This　line　of　thought　he　abandoned　quickly；　however；　it　could　do　no
good。　　But　what　could　do　good；　he　asked　himself。　　What　could　he　do？

With　blinding　force　came　the　answer：　he　could　do　nothing。　　Billy
cared　for　him。　　Billy　had　said　〃yes。〃　　Billy　expected　to　be　his
wife。　　As　if　he　could　say　to　her　now：　　〃I　beg　your　pardon；　but
'twas　all　a　mistake。　　_I_　did　not　ask　you　to　marry　me。〃

Very　valiantly　then　William　summoned　his　wits　and　tried　to　act　his
part。　　He　told　himself；　too；　that　it　would　not　be　a　hard　one；　that
he　loved　Billy　dearly；　and　that　he　would　try　to　make　her　happy。　　He
winced　a　little　at　this　thought；　for　he　remembered　suddenly　how　old
he　wasas　if　he；　at　his　age；　were　a　fit　match　for　a　girl　of
twenty…one！

And　then　he　looked　at　Billy。　　The　girl　was　plainly　nervous。　　There
was　a　deep　flush　on　her　cheeks