miss billy-第26节

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jangling　discord。　　I　simply　cannot　marry　him。　　I　shall　have　to
break　the　engagement！

Billy　spoke　with　regretful　sorrow。　　It　was　evident　that　she　grieved
to　bring　pain　to　Cyril。　　Then　suddenly　the　gloom　left　her　face：　she
had　remembered　that　the　〃engagement〃　was　just　three　weeks　oldand
was　a　profound　secret；　not　only　to　the　bridegroom　elect；　but　to　all
the　world　as　wellsave　herself！

Billy　was　very　happy　after　that。　　She　sang　about　the　house　all　day；
and　she　danced　sometimes　from　room　to　room；　so　light　were　her　feet
and　her　heart。　　She　made　no　more　puddings　with　Marie's　supervision；
but　she　was　particularly　careful　to　have　the　little　music　teacher
or　Aunt　Hannah　with　her　when　Cyril　called。　　She　made　up　her　mind；
it　is　true；　that　she　had　been　mistaken；　and　that　Cyril　did　not　love
her；　still　she　wished　to　be　on　the　safe　side；　and　she　became　more
and　more　averse　to　being　left　alone　with　him　for　any　length　of
time。



CHAPTER　XXXII

CYRIL　HAS　SOMETHING　TO　SAY


Long　before　spring　Billy　was　forced　to　own　to　herself　that　her
fancied　security　from　lovemaking　on　the　part　of　Cyril　no　longer
existed。　　She　began　to　suspect　that　there　was　reason　for　her　fears。
Cyril　certainly　was　〃different。〃　　He　was　more　approachable；　less
reserved；　even　with　Marie　and　Aunt　Hannah。　　He　was　not　nearly　so
taciturn；　either；　and　he　was　much　more　gracious　about　his　playing。
Even　Marie　dared　to　ask　him　frequently　for　music；　and　he　never
refused　her　request。　　Three　times　he　had　taken　Billy　to　some　play
that　she　wanted　to　see；　and　he　had　invited　Marie；　too；　besides　Aunt
Hannah；　which　had　pleased　Billy　very　much。　　He　had　been　at　the　same
time　so　genial　and　so　gallant　that　Billy　had　declared　to　Marie
afterward　that　he　did　not　seem　like　himself　at　all；　but　like　some
one　else。

Marie　had　disagreed　with　her；　it　is　true；　and　had　said　stiffly：

〃I'm　sure　I　thought　he　seemed　very　much　like　himself。〃　　But　that
had　not　changed　Billy's　opinion　at　all。

To　Billy's　mind；　nothing　but　love　could　so　have　softened　the　stern
Cyril　she　had　known。　　She　was；　therefore；　all　the　more　careful
these　days　to　avoid　a　tete…a…tete　with　him；　though　she　was　not
always　successful；　particularly　owing　to　Marie's　unaccountable
perverseness　in　so　often　having　letters　to　write　or　work　to　do；
just　when　Billy　most　wanted　her　to　make　a　safe　third　with　herself
and　Cyril。　　It　was　upon　such　an　occasion；　after　Marie　had　abruptly
left　them　alone　together；　that　Cyril　had　observed；　a　little
sharply：

〃Billy；　I　wish　you　wouldn't　say　again　what　you　said　ten　minutes　ago
when　Miss　Marie　was　here。〃

〃What　was　that？〃

A　very　silly　reference　to　that　old　notion　that　you　and　every　one
else　seem　to　have　that　I　am　a　'woman…hater。'〃

Billy's　heart　skipped　a　beat。　　One　thought；　pounded　through　her
brain　and　dinned　itself　into　her　earsat　all　costs　Cyril　must　not
be　allowed　to　say　that　which　she　so　feared；　he　must　be　saved　from
himself。

〃Woman…hater？　　Why；　of　course　you're　a　woman…hater；〃　she　cried
merrily。　　〃I'm　sure；　II　think　it's　lovely　to　be　a　woman…hater。〃

The　man　opened　wide　his　eyes；　then　he　frowned　angrily。

〃Nonsense；　Billy；　I　know　better。　　Besides；　I'm　in　earnest；　and　I'm
not　a　woman…hater。〃

〃Oh；　but　every　one　says　you　are；〃　chattered　Billy。　　〃And；　after
all；　you　know　it　IS　distinguishing！〃

With　a　disdainful　exclamation　the　man　sprang　to　his　feet。　　For　a
time　he　paced　the　room　in　silence；　watched　by　Billy's　fearful　eyes；
then　he　came　back　and　dropped　into　the　low　chair　at　Billy's　side。
His　whole　manner　had　undergone　a　complete　change。　　He　was　almost
shamefaced　as　he　said：

〃Billy；　I　suppose　I　might　as　well　own　up。　　I　don't　think　I　did
think　much　of　women　until　I　sawyou。〃

Billy　swallowed　and　wet　her　lips。　　She　tried　to　speak；　but　before
she　could　form　the　words　the　man　went　on　with　his　remarks；　and
Billy　did　not　know　whether　to　be　the　more　relieved　or　frightened
thereat。

〃But　you　see　now　it's　different。　　That's　why　I　don't　like　to　sail
any　longer　under　false　colors。　　There's　been　a　changea　great　and
wonderful　change　that　I　hardly　understand　myself。〃

〃That's　it！　　You　don't　understand　it；　I'm　sure；〃　interposed　Billy；
feverishly。　　〃It　may　not　be　such　a　change；　after　all。　　You　may　be
deceiving　yourself；〃　she　finished　hopefully。

The　man　sighed。

〃I　can't　wonder　you　think　so；　of　course；〃　he　almost　groaned。　　〃I
was　afraid　it　would　be　like　that。　　When　one's　been　painted　black
all　one's　life；　it's　not　easy　to　change　one's　color；　of　course。〃

〃Oh；　but　I　didn't　say　that　black　wasn't　a　very　nice　color；〃
stammered　Billy；　a　little　wildly。

〃Thank　you。〃　　Cyril's　heavy　brows　rose　and　fell　the　fraction　of　an
inch。　　〃Still；　I　must　confess　that　just　now　I　should　prefer　another
shade。〃

He　paused；　and　Billy　cast　distractedly　about　in　her　mind　for　a
simple；　natural　change　of　subject。　　She　had　just　decided　to　ask　him
what　he　thought　of　the　condition　of　the　Brittany　peasants；　when　he
questioned　abruptly；　and　in　a　voice　that　was　not　quite　steady：

〃Billy；　what　should　you　say　if　I　should　tell　you　that　the　avowed
woman…hater　had　strayed　so　far　from　the　prescribed　path　as　toto
like　one　woman　well　enough　as　to　want　tomarry　her？〃

The　word　was　like　a　match　to　the　gunpowder　of　Billy's　fears。　　Her
self…control　was　shattered　instantly　into　bits。

〃Marry？　　No；　no；　you　wouldn'tyou　couldn't　really　be　thinking　of
that；〃　she　babbled；　growing　red　and　white　by　turns。　　〃Only　think
how　a　wife　wouldwould　b…bother　you！〃

〃Bother　me？　　When　I　loved　her？〃

〃But　just　thinkremember！　　She'd　want　cushions　and　rugs　and
curtains；　and　you　don't　like　them；　and　she'd　always　be　talking　and
laughing　when　you　wanted　quiet；　and　sheshe'd　want　to　drag　you　out
to　plays　and　parties　andand　everywhere。　　Indeed；　Cyril；　I'm　sure
you'd　never　like　a　wifelong！〃　　Billy　stopped　only　because　she　had
no　breath　with　which　to　continue。

Cyril　laughed　a　little　grimly。

〃You　don't　draw　a　very　attractive　picture；　Billy。　　Still；　I'm　not
afraid。　　I　don't　think　this　particularwife　would　do　any　of　those
thingsto　trouble　me。〃

〃Oh；　but　you　don't　know；　you　can't　tell；〃　argued　the　girl。
〃Besides；　you　have　had　so　little　experience　with　women　that　you'd
just　be　sure　to　make　a　mistake　at　first。　　You　want　to　look　around
very　carefullyvery　carefully；　before　you　decide。〃

〃I　have　looked　around；　and　very　carefully；　Billy。　　I　know　that　in
all　the　world　there　is　just　one　woman　for　me。〃

Billy　struggled　to　her　feet。　　Mingled　pain　and　terror　looked　from
her　eyes。　　She　began　to　speak　wildly；　incoherently。　　She　wondered
afterward　just　what　she　would　have　said　if　Aunt　Hannah　had　not　come
into　the　room　at　that　moment　and　announced　that　Bertram　was　at　the
door　to　take　her　for　a　sleigh…ride　if　she　cared　to　go。

〃Of　course　she'll　go；〃　declared　Cyril；　promptly；　answering　for　her。
〃It　is　time　I　was　off　anyhow。〃　　To　Billy；　he　said　in　a　low　voice：
〃You　haven't　been　very　encouraging；　little　girlin　fact；　you've
been　mighty　discouraging。　　But　some　daysome　other　day；　I'll　try
to　make　clear　to　youmany　things。〃

Billy　greeted　Bertram　very　cordially。　　It　was　such　a　reliefhis
cheery；　genial　companionship！　　The　air；　too；　was　bracing；　and　all
the　world　lay　under　a　snow…white　blanket　of　sparkling　purity。
Everything　was　so　beautiful；　so　restful！

It　was　not　surprising；　perhaps；　that　the　very　frankness　of　Billy's
joy　misled　Bertram　a　little。　　His　blood　tingled　at　her　nearness；
and　his　eyes　grew　deep　and　tender　as　he　looked　down　at　her　happy
face。　　But　of　all　the　eager　words　that　were　so　near　his　lips；　not
one　reached　the　girl's　ears　until　the　good…byes　were　said；　then
wistfully　Bertram　hazarded：

〃Billy；　don't　you　think；　sometimes；　that　I'm　gainingjust　a　little
on　that　rival　of　minethat　music？〃

Billy's　face　clouded。　　She　shook　her　head　gently。

〃Bertram；　please　don'twhen　we've　had　such　a　beautiful　hour
together；〃　she　begged。　　〃It　troubles　me。　　If　you　do；　I　can't　go
again。〃

〃But　you　shall　go　again；〃　cried　Bertram；　bravely　smiling　straight
into　her　eyes。　　〃And　there　sha'n't　ever　anything　in　the　world
trouble　you；　eitherthat　I　can　help！〃



CHAPTER　XXXIII

WILLIAM　IS　WORRIED


Billy's　sleigh…ride　had　been　due　to　the　kindness　of　a　belated
winter　storm　that　had　surprised　every　one　the　last　of　March。　　After
that；　March；　as　if　ashamed　of　her　untoward　behavior；　donned　her
sweetest　smiles　and　〃went　out〃　like　the　proverbial　lamb。　　With　the
coming　of　April；　and　the　stirring　of　life　in　the　trees；　Billy；　too；
began　to　be　restless；　and　at　the　earliest　possible　moment　she　made
her　plans　for　her　long　anticipated　〃digging　in　the　dirt。〃

Just　here；　much　to　her　surprise；　she　met　with　wonderful　assistance
from　Bertram。　　He　seemed　to　know　just　when　and　where　and　how　to
dig；　and　he　displayed　suddenly　a　remarkable　knowledge　of　landscape
gardening。　　（That　this　knowledge　was　as　recent　in　its　acquirement
as　it　was　sudden　in　its　display；　Billy　did　not　know。）　　Very
learnedly　he　talked　of　perennials　and　annuals；　and　without
hesitation　he　made　out　a　list　of　flowering　shrubs　and　plants　that
would　give　her　a　〃succession　of　bloom　throughout　the　season。〃　　His
words　and　phrases　smacked　loudly　of　the　very　newest　florists'
catalogues；　but　Billy　did　not　notice　t