miss billy-第25节

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knowyou　must　know　that　I　can't　do　what　you　ask！〃

〃I'm　sure　I　don't　see　why　not；〃　argued　Billy。　　〃I'm　merely　giving
you　an　invitation　and　all　you　have　to　do　is　to　accept　it。〃

〃But　the　invitation　is　only　the　kind　way　your　heart　has　of　covering
another　of　your　many　charities；〃　objected　Marie；　〃besides；　I　have
to　teach。　　I　have　my　living　to　earn。〃

〃But　you　can't；〃　demurred　the　other。　　〃That's　just　the　trouble。
Don't　you　see？　　The　doctor　said　last　night　that　you　must　not　teach
again　this　winter。〃

〃Not　teachagainthis　winter！　　No；　no；　he　could　not　be　so　cruel
as　that！〃

〃It　wasn't　cruel；　dear；　it　was　kind。　　You　would　be　ill　if　you
attempted　it。　　Now　you'll　get　better。　　He　says　all　you　need　is　rest
and　careand　that's　exactly　what　I　mean　my　guest　shall　have。〃

Quick　tears　came　to　the　sick　girl's　eyes。

〃There　couldn't　be　a　kinder　heart　than　yours；　Miss　Billy；〃　she
murmured；　〃but　I　couldn'tI　really　couldn't　be　a　burden　to　you
like　this。　　I　shall　go　to　some　hospital。〃

〃But　you　aren't　going　to　be　a　burden。　　You　are　going　to　be　my
friend　and　companion。〃

〃A　companionand　in　bed　like　this？〃

〃Well；　THAT　wouldn't　be　impossible；〃　smiled　Billy；　〃but；　as　it
happens　you　won't　have　to　put　that　to　the　test；　for　you'll　soon　be
up　and　dressed。　　The　doctor　says　so。　　Now　surely　you　will　stay。〃

There　was　a　long　pause。　　The　little　music　teacher's　eyes　had　left
Billy's　face　and　were　circling　the　room；　wistfully　lingering　on　the
hangings　of　filmy　lace；　the　dainty　wall　covering；　and　the　exquisite
water　colors　in　their　white…and…gold　frames。　　At　last　she　drew　a
deep　sigh。

〃Yes；　I'll　stay；〃　she　breathed　rapturously；　〃butyou　must　let　me
help。〃

〃Help？　　Help　what？〃

〃Help　you；　your　letters；　your　music…copying；　your　accounts
anything；　everything。　　And　if　you　don't　let　me　help；〃the　music
teacher's　voice　was　very　stern　now〃if　you　don't　let　me　help；　I
shall　go　home　justassoonasIcanwalk！〃

〃Dear　me！〃　dimpled　Billy。　　〃And　is　that　all？　　Well；　you　shall　help；
and　to　your　heart's　content；　too。　　In　fact；　I'm　not　at　all　sure
that　I　sha'n't　keep　you　darning　stockings　and　making　puddings　all
the　time；〃　she　added　mischievously；　as　she　left　the　room。

Miss　Hawthorn　sat　up　the　next　day。　　The　day　following；　in　one　of
Billy's　〃fluttery　wrappers；〃　as　she　called　them；　she　walked　all
about　the　room。　　Very　soon　she　was　able　to　go　down…stairs；　and　in
an　astonishingly　short　time　she　fitted　into　the　daily　life　as　if
she　had　always　been　there。　　She　was；　moreover；　of　such　assistance
to　Billy　that　even　she　herself　could　see　the　value　of　her　work；　and
so　she　stayed；　content。

The　little　music　teacher　saw　a　good　deal　of　Billy's　friends　then；
particularly　of　the　Henshaw　brothers；　and　very　glad　was　Billy　to
see　the　comradeship　growing　between　them。　　She　had　known　that
William　would　be　kind　to　the　orphan　girl；　but　she　had　feared　that
Marie　would　not　understand　Bertram's　nonsense　or　Cyril's　reserve。
But　very　soon　Bertram　had　begged；　and　obtained；　permission　to　try
to　reproduce　on　canvas　the　sheen　of　the　fine；　fair　hair；　and　the
veiled　bloom　of　the　rose…leaf　skin　that　were　Marie's　greatest
charms；　and　already　Cyril　had　unbent　from　his　usual　stiffness
enough　to　play　to　her　twice。　　So　Billy's　fears　on　that　score　were
at　an　end。



CHAPTER　XXXI

THE　ENGAGEMENT　OF　ONE


Many　times　during　those　winter　days　Billy　thought　of　Marie's　words：
〃But　what　if　the　man　and　the　music　both　happen　to　be　on　the　same
side？〃　　They　worried　her；　to　some　extent；　and；　curiously；　they
pleased　and　displeased　her　at　the　same　time。

She　told　herself　that　she　knew　very　well；　of　course；　what　Marie
meant：　it　was　Cyril；　he　was　the　man；　and　the　music。　　But　was　Cyril
beginning　to　care　for　her；　and　did　she　want　him　to？　　Very　seriously
one　day　Billy　asked　herself　these　questions；　very　calmly　she　argued
the　matter　in　her　mindas　was　Billy's　way。

She　was　proud；　certainly；　of　what　her　influence　had　apparently　done
for　Cyril。　　She　was　gratified　that　to　her　he　was　showing　the　real
depth　and　beauty　of　his　nature。　　It　WAS　flattering　to　feel　that
she；　and　only　she；　had　thus　won　the　regard　of　a　professional　woman…
hater。　　Then；　besides　all　this；　there　was　his　musichis　glorious
music。　　Think　of　the　bliss　of　living　ever　with　that！　　Imagine　life
with　a　man　whose　soul　would　be　so　perfectly　attuned　to　hers　that
existence　would　be　one　grand　harmony！　　Ah；　that；　truly；　would　be
the　ideal　marriage！　　But　she　had　planned　not　to　marry。　　Billy
frowned　now；　and　tapped　her　foot　nervously。　　It　was；　indeed；　most
puzzlingthis　question；　and　she　did　not　want　to　make　a　mistake。
Then；　too；　she　did　not　wish　to　wound　Cyril。　　If　the　dear　man　HAD
come　out　of　his　icy　prison；　and　were　reaching　out　timid　hands　to
her　for　her　help；　her　interest；　her　lovethe　tragedy　of　it；　if
he　met　with　no　response！　。　。　。　。　　This　vision　of　Cyril　with
outstretched　hands；　and　of　herself　with　cold；　averted　eyes　was　the
last　straw　in　the　balance　with　Billy。　　She　decided　suddenly　that
she　did　care　for　Cyrila　little；　and　that　she　probably　could　care
for　him　a　great　deal。　　With　this　thought；　Billy　blushedalready　in
her　own　mind　she　was　as　good　as　pledged　to　Cyril。

It　was　a　great　change　for　Billythis　sudden　leap　from　girlhood　and
irresponsibility　to　womanhood　and　care；　but　she　took　it　fearlessly；
resolutely。　　If　she　was　to　be　Cyril's　wife　she　must　make　herself
fit　for　itand　in　pursuance　of　this　high　ideal　she　followed　Marie
into　the　kitchen　the　very　next　time　the　little　music　teacher　went
out　to　make　one　of　her　dainty　desserts　that　the　family　liked　so
well。

〃I'll　just　watch；　if　you　don't　mind；〃　announced　Billy。

〃Why；　of　course　not；〃　smiled　Marie；　〃but　I　thought　you　didn't　like
to　make　puddings。〃

〃I　don't；〃　owned　Billy；　cheerfully。

〃Then　why　thiswatchfulness？〃

〃Nothing；　only　I　thought　it　might　be　just　as　well　if　I　knew　how　to
make　them。　　You　know　how　Cyrilthat　is；　ALL　the　Henshaw　boys　like
every　kind　you　make。〃

The　egg　in　Marie's　hand　slipped　from　her　fingers　and　crashed
untidily　on　the　shelf。　　With　a　gleeful　laugh　Billy　welcomed　the
diversion。　　She　had　not　meant　to　speak　so　plainly。　　It　was　one
thing　to　try　to　fit　herself　to　be　Cyril's　wife；　and　quite　another
to　display　those　efforts　so　openly　before　the　world。

The　pudding　was　made　at　last；　but　Marie　proved　to　be　a　nervous
teacher。　　Her　hand　shook；　and　her　memory　almost　failed　her　at　one
or　two　critical　points。　　Billy　laughingly　said　that　it　must　be
stage　fright；　owing　to　the　presence　of　herself　as　spectator；　and
with　this　Marie　promptly；　and　somewhat　effusively；　agreed。

So　very　busy　was　Billy　during　the　next　few　days；　acquiring　her　new
domesticity；　that　she　did　not　notice　how　little　she　was　seeing　of
Cyril。　　Then　she　suddenly　realized　it；　and　asked　herself　the　reason
for　it。　　Cyril　was　at　the　house　certainly；　just　as　frequently　as　he
had　been；　but　she　saw　that　a　new　shyness　in　herself　had　developed
which　was　causing　her　to　be　restless　in　his　presence；　and　was
leading　her　to　like　better　to　have　Marie　or　Aunt　Hannah　in　the　room
when　he　called。　　She　discovered；　too；　that　she　welcomed　William；
and　even　Bertram；　with　peculiar　enthusiasmif　they　happened　to
interrupt　a　tete…a…tete　with　Cyril。

Billy　was　disturbed　at　this。　　She　told　herself　that　this　shyness
was　not　strange；　perhaps；　inasmuch　as　her　ideas　in　regard　to　love
and　marriage　had　undergone　so　abrupt　a　change；　but　it　must　be
overcome。　　If　she　was　to　be　Cyril's　wife；　she　must　like　to　be　with
himand　of　course　she　really　did　like　to　be　with　him；　for　she　had
enjoyed　his　companionship　very　much　during　all　these　past　weeks。
She　set　herself　therefore；　now；　determinedly　to　cultivating　Cyril。

It　was　then　that　Billy　made　a　strange　and　fearsome　discovery：　there
were　some　things　about　Cyril　that　she　didnotlike！

Billy　was　inexpressibly　shocked。　　Heretofore　he　had　been　so　high；
so　irreproachable；　so　god…like！but　heretofore　he　had　been　a
friend。　　Now　he　was　appearing　in　a　new　rolethough　unconsciously；
she　knew。　　Heretofore　she　had　looked　at　him　with　eyes　that　saw　only
the　delightful　and　marvelous　unfolding　of　a　coldly　reserved　nature
under　the　warmth　of　her　own　encouraging　smile。　　Now　she　looked　at
him　with　eyes　that　saw　only　the　possibilities　of　that　same　nature
when　it　should　have　been　unfolded　in　a　lifelong　companionship。　　And
what　she　saw　frightened　her。　　There　was　still　the　musicshe
acknowledged　that；　but　it　had　come　to　Billy　with　overwhelming　force
that　music；　after　all；　was　not　everything。　　The　man　counted；　as
well。　　Very　frankly　then　Billy　stated　the　case　to　herself。

〃What　passes　for　'fascinating　mystery'　in　him　now　will　be　plain
morosenesssometime。　　He　is　'taciturn'　now；　he'll　becross；　then。
It　is　'erratic'　when　he　won't　play　the　piano　to…day；　but　a　few
years　from　now；　when　he　refuses　some　simple　request　of　mine；　it
will　bestubbornness。　　All　this　it　will　beif　I　don't　love　him；
and　I　don't。　　I　know　I　don't。　　Besides；　we　aren't　really　congenial。
I　like　people　around；　he　doesn't。　　I　like　to　go　to　plays；　he
doesn't。　　He　likes　rainy　days；　I　abhor　them。　　There　is　no　doubt　of
itlife　with　him　would　not　be　one　grand　harmony；　it　would　be　one
jangling　discord。　　I　simply　cannot　marry　him。　　I　shall　have　to
break　the