miss billy-第23节
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Marie laughed suddenly。
〃Do you know; my dear; I have half a mind to tell you what I do
like to dojust to make you stare。〃
〃Well?〃 Billy's eyes were wide with interest。
〃I like best of anything todarn stockings and make puddings。〃
〃Marie!〃
〃Rank heresy; isn't it?〃 smiled Marie; tearfully。 〃But I do;
truly。 I love to weave the threads evenly in and out; and see a
big hole close。 As for the puddings I don't mean the common bread…
and…butter kind; but the ones that have whites of eggs and fruit;
and pretty quivery jellies all ruby and amber lights; you know。〃
〃You dear little piece of domesticity;〃 laughed Billy。 〃Then why
in the world don't you do these things?〃
〃I can't; in my own kitchen; I can't afford a kitchen to do them
in。 And I just couldn't do themright alongin other people's
kitchens。〃
〃But why do youplay?〃
〃I was brought up to it。 You know we had money once; lots of it;〃
sighed Marie; as if she were deploring a misfortune。 〃And mother
was determined to have me musical。 Even then; as a little tot; I
liked pudding…making; and after my mud…pie days I was always
begging mother to let me go down into the kitchen; to cook。 But
she wouldn't allow it; ever。 She engaged the most expensive
masters and set me practising; always practising。 I simply had to
learn music; and I learned it like the adding machine。 Then
afterward; when father died; and then mother; and the money flew
away; why; of course I had to do something; so naturally I turned
to the music。 It was all I could do。 Butwell; you know how it
is; dear。 I teach; and teach well; perhaps; so far as the
mechanical part goes; but as for the restI am always longing for
a cozy corner with a basket of stockings to mend; or a kitchen
where there is a pudding waiting to be made。〃
〃You poor dear!〃 cried Billy。 〃I've a pair of stockings now that
needs attention; and I've been just longing for one of your
'quivery jellies all ruby and amber lights' ever since you
mentioned them。 Butwell; is there anything I could do to help?〃
〃Nothing; thank you;〃 sighed Marie; rising wearily to her feet; and
covering her eyes with her hand for a moment。 〃My head aches
shockingly; but I've got to go this minute and instruct little
Jennie Knowls how to play the wonderful scale of G with a black key
in it。 Besides; you do help me; you have helped me; you are always
helping me; dear;〃 she added remorsefully; 〃and it's wicked of me
to make that shadow come to your eyes。 Please don't think of it;
or of me; any more。〃 And with a choking little sob she hurried
from the room; followed by the amazed; questioning; sorrowful eyes
of Billy。
CHAPTER XXVIII
〃I'M GOING TO WIN〃
Nearly all of Billy's friends knew that Bertram Henshaw was in love
with Billy Neilson before Billy herself knew it。 Not that they
regarded it as anything serious〃it's only Bertram〃 was still said
of him on almost all occasions。 But to Bertram himself it was very
serious。
The world to Bertram; indeed; had come to assume a vastly different
aspect from what it had displayed in times past。 Heretofore it had
been a plaything which like a juggler's tinsel ball might be tossed
from hand to hand at will。 Now it was no playthingno glittering
bauble。 It was something big and serious and splendidbecause
Billy lived in it; something that demanded all his powers to do;
and bebecause Billy was watching; something that might be a Hades
of torment or an Elysium of blissaccording to whether Billy said
〃no〃 or 〃yes。〃
Since Thanksgiving Bertram had known that it was lovethis
consuming fire within him; and since Thanksgiving he had known;
too; that it was jealousythis fierce hatred of Calderwell。 He
was ashamed of the hatred。 He told himself that it was unmanly;
unkind; and unreasonable; and he vowed that he would overcome it。
At times he even fancied that he had overcome it; but always the
sight of Calderwell in Billy's little drawing…room or of even the
man's card on Billy's silver tray was enough to show him that he
had not。
There were others; too; who annoyed Bertram not a little; foremost
of these being his own brothers。 Still he was not really worried
about William and Cyril; he told himself。 William he did not
consider to be a marrying man; and Cyrilevery one knew that Cyril
was a woman…hater。 He was doubtless attracted now only by Billy's
music。 There was no real rivalry to be feared from William and
Cyril。 But there was always Calderwell; and Calderwell was
serious。 Bertram decided; therefore; after some weeks of feverish
unrest; that the only road to peace lay through a frank avowal of
his feelings; and a direct appeal to Billy to give him the great
boon of her love。
Just here; however; Bertram met with an unexpected difficulty。 He
could not find words with which to make his avowal or to present
his appeal。 He was surprised and annoyed。 Never before had he
been at a loss for wordsmere words。 And it was not that he
lacked opportunity。 He walked; drove; and talked with Billy; and
always she was companionable; attentive to what he had to say。
Never was she cold or reserved。 Never did she fail to greet him
with a cheery smile。
Bertram concluded; indeed; after a time; that she was too
companionable; too cheery。 He wished she would hesitate; stammer;
blush; be a little shy。 He wished that she would display surprise;
annoyance; evenanything but that eternal air of comradeship。 And
then; one afternoon in the early twilight of a January day; he
freed his mind; quite unexpectedly。
〃Billy; I wish you WOULDN'T be soso friendly!〃 he exclaimed in a
voice that was almost sharp。
Billy laughed at first; but the next moment a shamed distress drove
the merriment quite out of her face。
〃You mean that I presume onon our friendship?〃 she stammered。
〃That you fear that I will againshadow your footsteps?〃 It was
the first time since the memorable night itself that Billy had ever
in Bertram's presence referred to her young guardianship of his
welfare。 She realized now; suddenly; that she had just been giving
the man before her some very 〃sisterly advice;〃 and the thought
sent a confused red to her cheeks。
Bertram turned quickly。
〃Billy; that was the dearest and loveliest thing a girl ever did
only I was too great a chump to appreciate it!〃 finished Bertram in
a voice that was not quite steady。
〃Thank you;〃 smiled the girl; with a slow shake of her head and a
relieved look in her eyes; 〃but I'm afraid I can't quite agree to
that。〃 The next moment she had demanded mischievously: 〃Why;
then; pray; this unflattering objection to myfriendliness now?〃
〃Because I don't want you for a friend; or a sister; or anything
else that's related;〃 stormed Bertram; with sudden vehemence。 〃I
don't want you for anything buta wife! Billy; WON'T you marry
me?〃
Again Billy laughedlaughed until she saw the pained anger leap to
the gray eyes before her; then she became grave at once。
〃Bertram; forgive me。 I didn't think you couldyou can't be
serious!〃
〃But I am。〃
Billy shook her head。
〃But you don't love menot ME; Bertram。 It's only the turn of my
head oror the tilt of my chin that you loveto paint;〃 she
protested; unconsciously echoing the words Calderwell had said to
her weeks before。 〃I'm only another 'Face of a Girl。'〃
〃You're the only 'Face of a girl' to me now; Billy;〃 declared the
man; with disarming tenderness。
〃No; no; not that;〃 demurred Billy; in distress。 〃You don't mean
it。 You only think you do。 It couldn't be that。 It can't be!〃
〃But it is; dear。 I think I have loved you ever since that night
long ago when I saw your dear; startled face appealing to me from
beyond Seaver's hateful smile。 And; Billy; I never went once with
Seaver againanywhere。 Did you know that?〃
〃No; butI'm gladso glad!〃
〃And I'm glad; too。 So you see; I must have loved you then; though
unconsciously; perhaps; and I love you now。〃
〃No; no; please don't say that。 It can't beit really can't be。
II don't love youthat way; Bertram。〃
The man paled a little。
〃Billyforgive me for asking; but it's so much to meis it that
there issome one else?〃 His voice shook。
〃No; no; indeed! There is no one。〃
〃It's notCalderwell?〃
Billy's forehead grew pink。 She laughed nervous1y。
〃No; no; never!〃
〃But there are others; so many others!〃
〃Nonsense; Bertram; there's no oneno one; I assure you!〃
〃It's not William; of course; nor Cyril。 Cyril hates women。〃
A deeper flush came to Billy's face。 Her chin rose a little; and
an odd defiance flashed from her eyes。 But almost instantly it was
gone; and a slow smile had come to her lips。
〃Yes; I know。 Every onesays that Cyril hates women;〃 she
observed demurely。
〃Then; Billy; I sha'n't give up!〃 vowed Bertram; softly。 〃Sometime
you WILL love me!〃
〃No; no; I couldn't。 That is; I'm not going toto marry;〃
stammered Billy。
〃Not going to marry!〃
〃No。 There's my musicyou know how I love that; and how much it
is to me。 I don't think there'll ever be a manthat I'll love
better。〃
Bertram lifted his head。 Very slowly he rose till his splendid six
feet of clean…limbed stren