the man who was afraid-第69节

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hearts　do　not　throb；　they　merely　rock　slowly；　like　cradles。'　Dipping　my　finger　in　the　blood　of　my　heart；　I　would　smear　upon　their　brows　the　brands　of　my　reproaches；　and　they；　paupers　in　spirit；　miserable　in　their　self…contentment；　they　would　suffer。　Oh；　how　they　would　suffer！　My　scourge　is　sharp；　my　hand　is　firm！　And　I　love　too　deeply　to　have　compassion！　They　would　suffer！　And　now　they　do　not　suffer；　for　they　speak　of　their　sufferings　too　much；　too　often；　and　too　loud！　They　lie！　Genuine　suffering　is　mute；　and　genuine　passion　knows　no　bounds！　Passions；　passions！　When　will　they　spring　up　in　the　hearts　of　men？　We　are　all　miserable　because　of　apathy。〃

Short　of　breath　he　burst　into　a　fit　of　coughing；　he　coughed　for　a　long　time；　hopping　about　hither　and　thither；　waving　his　hands　like　a　madman。　And　then　he　again　stopped　in　front　of　Foma　with　pale　face　and　blood…shot　eyes。　He　breathed　heavily；　his　lips　trembled　now　and　then；　displaying　his　small；　sharp　teeth。　Dishevelled；　with　his　head　covered　with　short　heir；　he　looked　like　a　perch　just　thrown　out　of　the　water。　This　was　not　the　first　time　Foma　saw　him　in　such　a　state；　and；　as　always；　he　was　infected　by　his　agitation。　He　listened　to　the　fiery　words　of　the　small　man；　silently；　without　attempting　to　understand　their　meaning；　having　no　desire　to　know　against　whom　they　were　directed；　absorbing　their　force　only。　Yozhov's　words　bubbled　on　like　boiling　water；　and　heated　his　soul。

〃I　will　say　to　them；　to　those　miserable　idlers：

'Look！　Life　goes　onward；　leaving　you　behind！〃'

〃Eh！　That's　fine！〃　exclaimed　Foma；　ecstatically；　and　began　to　move　about　on　the　lounge。　〃You're　a　hero；　Nikolay！　Oh！　Go　ahead！　Throw　it　right　into　their　faces！〃

But　Yozhov　was　not　in　need　of　encouragement；　it　seemed　even　as　though　he　had　not　heard　at　all　Foma's　exclamations；　and　he　went　on：

〃I　know　the　limitations　of　my　powers。　I　know　they'll　shout　at　me：　'Hold　your　peace！'　They'll　tell　me：　'Keep　silence！'　They　will　say　it　wisely；　they　will　say　it　calmly；　mocking　me；　they　will　say　it　from　the　height　of　their　majesty。　I　know　I　am　only　a　small　bird；　0h；　I　am　not　a　nightingale！　Compared　with　them　I　am　an　ignorant　man；　I　am　only　a　feuilleton…writer；　a　man　to　amuse　the　public。　Let　them　cry　and　silence　me；　let　them　do　it！　A　blow　will　fall　on　my　cheek；　but　the　heart　will　nevertheless　keep　on　throbbing！　And　I　will　say　to　them：

〃'Yes；　I　am　an　ignorant　man！　And　my　first　advantage　over　you　is　that　I　do　not　know　a　single　book…truth　dearer　to　me　than　a　man！　Man　is　the　universe；　and　may　he　live　forever　who　carries　the　whole　world　within　him！　And　you；'I　will　say；　'for　the　sake　of　a　word　which；　perhaps；　does　not　always　contain　a　meaning　comprehensible　to　you；　for　the　sake　of　a　word　you　often　inflict　sores　and　wounds　on　one　another；　for　the　sake　of　a　word　you　spurt　one　another　with　bile；　you　assault　the　soul。　For　this；　believe　me；　life　will　severely　call　you　to　account：　a　storm　will　break　loose；　and　it　will　whisk　and　wash　you　off　the　earth；　as　wind　and　rain　whisk　and　wash　the　dust　off　a　tree　I　There　is　in　human　language　only　one　word　whose　meaning　is　clear　and　dear　to　everybody；　and　when　that　word　is　pronounced；　it　sounds　thus：　'Freedom！'〃

〃Crush　on！〃　roared　Foma；　jumping　up　from　the　lounge　and　grasping　Yozhov　by　the　shoulders。　With　flashing　eyes　he　gazed　into　Yozhov's　face；　bending　toward　him；　and　almost　moaned　with　grief　and　affliction：　〃Oh！　Nikolay！　My　dear　fellow；　I　am　mortally　sorry　for　you！　I　am　more　sorry　than　words　can　tell！〃

〃What's　this？　What's　the　matter　with　you？〃　cried　Yozhov；　pushing　him　away；　amazed　and　shifted　from　his　position　by　Foma's　unexpected　outburst　and　strange　words。

〃Oh；　brother！〃　said　Foma；　lowering　his　voice；　which　thus　sounded　deeper；　more　persuasive。　〃Oh；　living　soul；　why　do　you　sink　to　ruin？〃

〃Who？　I？　I　sink？　You　lie！〃

〃My　dear　boy！　You　will　not　say　anything　to　anybody！　There　is　no　one　to　speak　to！　Who　will　listen　to　you？　Only　I！〃

〃Go　to　the　devil！〃　shouted　Yozhov；　angrily；　jumping　away　from　him　as　though　he　had　been　scorched。

And　Foma　went　toward　him；　and　spoke　convincingly；　with　intense　sorrow：

〃Speak！　speak　to　me！　I　shall　carry　away　your　words　to　the　proper　place。　I　understand　them。　And；　ah！　how　I　will　scorch　the　people！　Just　wait！　My　opportunity　will　come。〃

〃Go　away！〃　screamed　Yozhov；　hysterically；　squeezing　his　back　to　the　wall；　under　Foma's　pressure。　Perplexed；　crushed；　and　infuriated　he　stood　and　waved　off　Foma's　arms　outstretched　toward　him。　And　at　this　time　the　door　of　the　room　opened；　and　on　the　threshold　appeared　a　woman　all　in　black。　Her　face　was　angry…　looking　and　excited；　her　cheek　was　tied　up　with　a　kerchief。　She　tossed　her　head　back；　stretched　out　her　hand　toward　Yozhov　and　said；　in　ahissing　and　shrill　voice：

〃Nikolay　Matveyich！　Excuse　me；　but　this　is　impossible！　Such　beast…like　howling　and　roaring。　Guests　everyday。　The　police　are　coming。　No；　I　can't　bear　it　any　longer！　I　am　nervous。　Please　vacate　the　lodgings　to…morrow。　You　are　not　living　in　a　desert；　there　are　people　about　you　here。　And　an　educated　man　at　that！　A　writer！　All　people　require　rest。　I　have　a　toothache。　I　request　you　to　move　tomorrow。　I'll　paste　up　a　notice；　I'll　notify　the　police。〃

She　spoke　rapidly；　and　the　majority　of　her　words　were　lost　in　the　hissing　and　whistling　of　her　voice；　only　those　words　were　distinct；　which　she　shrieked　out　in　a　shrill；　irritated　tone。　The　corners　of　her　kerchief　protruded　on　her　head　like　small　horns；　and　shook　from　the　movement　of　her　jaws。　At　the　sight　of　her　agitated　and　comical　figure　Foma　gradually　retreated　toward　the　lounge；　while　Yozhov　stood；　and　wiping　his　forehead；　stared　at　her　fixedly；　and　listened　to　her　words：

〃So　know　it　now！〃　she　screamed；　and　behind　the　door；　she　said　once　more：

〃Tomorrow！　What　an　outrage。〃

〃Devil！〃　whispered　Yozhov；　staring　dully　at　the　door。

〃Yes！　what　a　woman！　How　strict！〃　said　Foma；　looking　at　him　in　amazement；　as　he　seated　himself　on　the　lounge。

Yozhov；　raising　his　shoulders；　walked　up　to　the　table；　poured　out　a　half　a　tea…glass　full　of　vodka；　emptied　it　and　sat　down　by　the　table；　bowing　his　head　low。　There　was　silence　for　about　a　minute。　Then　Foma　said；　timidly　and　softly：

〃How　it　all　happened！　We　had　no　time　even　to　wink　an　eye；　and；　suddenly；　such　an　outcome。　Ah！〃

〃You！〃　said　Yozhov　in　an　undertone；　tossing　up　his　head；　and　staring　at　Foma　angrily　and　wildly。　〃Keep　quiet！　You；　the　devil　take　you。　Lie　down　and　sleep！　You　monster。　Nightmare。　Oh！〃

And　he　threatened　Foma　with　his　fist。　Then　he　filled　the　glass　with　more　brandy；　and　emptied　it　again。

A　few　minutes　later　Foma　lay　undressed　on　the　lounge；　and；　with　half…shut　eyes；　followed　Yozhov　who　sat　by　the　table　in　an　awkward　pose。　He　stared　at　the　floor；　and　his　lips　were　quietly　moving。　Foma　was　astonished；　he　could　not　make　out　why　Yozhov　had　become　angry　at　him。　It　could　not　be　because　he　had　been　ordered　to　move　out。　For　it　was　he　himself　who　had　been　shouting。

〃0h　devil！〃　whispered　Yozhov；　and　gnashed　his　teeth。

Foma　quietly　lifted　his　head　from　the　pillow。　Yozhov　deeply　and　noisily　sighing；　again　stretched　out　his　hand　toward　the　bottle。　Then　Foma　said　to　him　softly：

〃Let's　go　to　some　hotel。　It　isn't　late　yet。〃

Yozhov　looked　at　him；　and；　rubbing　his　head　with　his　hands；　began　to　laugh　strangely。　Then　he　rose　from　his　chair　and　said　to　Foma　curtly：

〃Dress　yourself！〃

And　seeing　how　clumsily　and　slowly　he　turned　on　the　lounge；　Yozhov　shouted　with　anger　and　impatience：

〃Well；　be　quicker！　You　personification　of　stupidity。　You　symbolical　cart…shaft。〃

〃Don't　curse！〃　said　Foma；　with　a　peaceable　smile。　〃Is　it　worthwhile　to　be　angry　because　a　woman　has　cackled？〃

Yozhov　glanced　at　him；　spat　and　burst　into　harsh　laughter。

CHAPTER　XIII

〃ARE　all　here？〃　asked　Ilya　Yefimovich　Kononov；　standing　on　the　bow　of　his　new　steamer；　and　surveying　the　crowd　of　guests　with　beaming　eyes。

〃It　seems　to　be　all！〃

And　raising　upward　his　stout；　red；　happy…looking　face；　he　shouted　to　the　captain；　who　was　already　standing　on　the　bridge；　beside　the　speaking…tube：

〃Cast　off；　Petrukha！〃

〃Yes；　sir！〃

The　captain　bared　his　huge；　bald　head；　made　the　sign　of　the　cross；　glancing　up　at　the　sky；　passed　his　hand　over　his　wide；　black　beard；　cleared　his　throat；　and　gave　the　command：

〃Back！〃

The　guests　watched　the　movements　of　the　captain　silently　and　attentively；　and；　emulating　his　example；　they　also　began　to　cross　themselves；　at　which　performance　their　caps　and　high　hats　flashed　through　the　air　like　a　flock　of　black　birds。

Give　us　Thy　blessing；　0h　Lord！〃　exclaimed　Kononov　with　emotion。

〃Let　go　astern！　Forward！〃　ordered　the　captain。　The　massive　〃Ilya　Murometz；〃　heaving　a　mighty　sigh；　emitted　a　thick　column　of　white　steam　toward　the　side　of　the　landing…bridge；　and　started　upstream　easily；　like　a　swan。

〃How　it　started　off；〃　enthusiastically　exclaimed　commercial　counsellor　Lup　Grigoryev　Reznikov；　a　tall；　thin；　good…looking　man。　〃Without　a　quiver！　Like　a　lady　in　the　dance！〃

〃Half　speed！〃

〃It's　not　a　ship；　it's　a　Leviathan！〃　remarked　with　a　devout　sigh　the　pock…marked　and　stooping　Trofim　Zubov；　cathedral…warden　and　principal　usurer　in　town。

It　was　a　gray　day。　The　sky；　overcast　with　autumn　clouds；　was　reflected　in　the