the man who was afraid-第67节

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〃But　what；　in　particular；　is　repulsive　to　the　man？〃　asked　Mayakin；　calmly；　without　looking　at　Foma。

Foma　bent　his　head；　leaned　his　arms　against　the　table　and　thus；　like　a　bull；　went　on　to　explain　himself：

〃Nothing　pleases　himbusiness；　work；　all　people　and　deeds。　Suppose　I　see　that　all　is　deceit；　that　business　is　not　business；　but　merely　a　plug　that　we　prop　up　with　it　the　emptiness　of　our　souls；　that　some　work；　while　others　only　give　orders　and　sweat；　but　get　more　for　that。　Why　is　it　so？　Eh？〃

〃I　cannot　grasp　your　idea；〃　announced　Taras；　when　Foma　paused；　feeling　on　himself　Lubov's　contemptuous　and　angry　look。

〃You　do　not　understand？〃　asked　Foma；　looking　at　Taras　with　a　smile。　〃Well；　I'll　put　it　in　this　way：

A　man　is　sailing　in　a　boat　on　the　river。　The　boat　may　be　good；　but　under　it　there　is　always　a　depth　all　the　same。　The　boat　is　sound；　but　if　the　man　feels　beneath　him　this　dark　depth；　no　boat　can　save　him。〃

Taras　looked　at　Foma　indifferently　and　calmly。　He　looked　in　silence；　and　softly　tapped　his　fingers　on　the　edge　of　the　table。　Lubov　was　uneasily　moving　about　in　her　chair。　The　pendulum　of　the　clock　told　the　seconds　with　a　dull；　sighing　sound。　And　Foma's　heart　throbbed　slowly　and　painfully；　as　though　conscious　that　here　no　one　would　respond　with　a　warm　word　to　its　painful　perplexity。

〃Work　is　not　exactly　everything　for　a　man；〃　said　he；　more　to　himself　than　to　these　people　who　had　no　faith　in　the　sincerity　of　his　words。　〃It　is　not　true　that　in　work　lies　justification。　There　are　people　who　do　not　work　at　all　during　all　their　lives　long；　and　yet　they　live　better　than　those　that　do　work。　How　is　that？　And　the　toilersthey　are　merely　unfortunatehorses！　Others　ride　on　them；　they　suffer　and　that's　all。　But　they　have　their　justification　before　God。　They　will　be　asked：　'To　what　purpose　did　you　live？'　Then　they　will　say：　'We　had　no　time　to　think　of　that。　We　worked　all　our　lives。'　And　Iwhat　justification　have　I？　And　all　those　people　who　give　ordershow　will　they　justify　themselves？　To　what　purpose　have　they　lived？　It　is　my　idea　that　everybody　necessarily　ought　to　know；　to　know　firmly　what　he　is　living　for。〃

He　became　silent；　and；　tossing　his　head　up；　exclaimed　in　a　heavy　voice：

〃Can　it　be　that　man　is　born　merely　to　work；　acquire　money；　build　a　house；　beget　children　anddie？　No；　life　means　something。　A　man　is　born；　he　lives　and　dies。　What　for？　It　is　necessary；　by　God；　it　is　necessary　for　all　of　us　to　consider　what　we　are　living　for。　There　is　no　sense　in　our　life。　No　sense　whatever！　Then　things　are　not　equal；　that　can　be　seen　at　once。　Some　are　richthey　have　money　enough　for　a　thousand　people；　and　they　live　in　idleness。　Others　bend　their　backs　over　their　work　all　their　lives；　and　yet　they　have　not　even　a　grosh。　And　the　difference　in　people　is　very　insignificant。　There　are　some　that　have　not　even　any　trousers　and　yet　they　reason　as　though　they　were　attired　in　silks。〃

Carried　away　by　his　thoughts；　Foma　would　have　continued　to　give　them　utterance；　but　Taras　moved　his　armchair　away　from　the　table；　rose　and　said　softly；　with　a　sigh：

〃No；　thank　you！　I　don't　want　any　more。〃

Foma　broke　off　his　speech　abruptly；　shrugged　his　shoulders　and　looked　at　Lubov　with　a　smile。

〃Where　have　you　picked　up　such　philosophy？〃　she　asked；　suspiciously　and　drily。

〃That　is　not　philosophy。　That　is　simply　torture！〃　said　Foma　in　an　undertone。　〃Open　your　eyes　and　look　at　everything。　Then　you　will　think　so　yourself。〃

〃By　the　way；　Luba；　turn　your　attention　to　the　fact；〃　began　Taras；　standing　with　his　back　toward　the　table　and　scrutinizing　the　clock；　〃that　pessimism　is　perfectly　foreign　to　the　Anglo…Saxon　race。　That　which　they　call　pessimism　in　Swift　and　in　Byron　is　only　a　burning；　sharp　protest　against　the　imperfection　of　life　and　man。　But　you　cannot　find　among　them　the　cold；　well　weighed　and　passive　pessimism。〃

Then；　as　though　suddenly　recalling　Foma；　he　turned　to　him；　clasping　his　hands　behind　his　back；　and；　wriggling　his　thigh；　said：

〃You　raise　very　important　questions；　and　if　you　are　seriously　interested　in　them　you　must　read　books。　In　them　will　you　find　many　very　valuable　opinions　as　to　the　meaning　of　life。　How　about　youdo　you　read　books？〃

〃No！〃　replied　Foma；　briefly。

〃Ah！〃

〃I　don't　like　them。〃

〃Aha！　But　they　might　nevertheless　be　of　some　help　to　you；〃　said　Taras；　and　a　smile　passed　across　his　lips。

〃Books？　Since　men　cannot　help　me　in　my　thoughts　books　can　certainly　do　nothing　for　me；〃　ejaculated　Foma；　morosely。

He　began　to　feel　awkward　and　weary　with　this　indifferent　man。　He　felt　like　going　away；　but　at　the　same　time　he　wished　to　tell　Lubov　something　insulting　about　her　brother；　and　he　waited　till　Taras　would　leave　the　room。　Lubov　washed　the　dishes；　her　face　was　concentrated　and　thoughtful；　her　hands　moved　lazily。　Taras　was　pacing　the　room；　now　and　then　he　stopped　short　before　the　sideboard　on　which　was　the　silverware；　whistled；　tapped　his　fingers　against　the　window…panes　and　examined　the　articles　with　his　eyes　half　shut。　The　pendulum　of　the　clock　flashed　beneath　the　glass　door　of　the　case　like　some　broad；　grinning　face；　and　monotonously　told　the　seconds。　When　Foma　noticed　that　Lubov　glanced　at　him　a　few　times　questioningly；　with　expectant　and　hostile　looks；　he　understood　that　he　was　in　her　way　and　that　she　was　impatiently　expecting　him　to　leave。

〃I　am　going　to　stay　here　over　night；〃　said　he；　with　a　smile。　〃I　must　speak　with　my　godfather。　And　then　it　is　rather　lonesome　in　my　house　alone。〃

〃Then　go　and　tell　Marfusha　to　make　the　bed　for　you　in　the　corner　room；〃　Lubov　hastened　to　advise　him。

〃I　shall。〃

He　arose　and　went　out　of　the　dining…room。　And　he　soon　heard　that　Taras　asked　his　sister　about　something　in　a　low　voice。

〃About　me！〃　he　thought。　Suddenly　this　wicked　thought　flashed　through　his　mind：　〃It　were　but　right　to　listen　and　hear　what　wise　people　have　to　say。〃

He　laughed　softly；　and；　stepping　on　tiptoe；　went　noiselessly　into　the　other　room；　also　adjoining　the　dining…room。　There　was　no　light　there；　and　only　a　thin　band　of　light　from　the　dining…room；　passing　through　the　unclosed　door；　lay　on　the　dark　floor。　Softly；　with　sinking　heart　and　malicious　smile；　Foma　walked　up　close　to　the　door　and　stopped。

〃He's　a　clumsy　fellow；〃　said　Taras。

Then　came　Lubov's　lowered　and　hasty　speech：

〃He　was　carousing　here　all　the　time。　He　carried　on　dreadfully！　It　all　started　somehow　of　a　sudden。　The　first　thing　he　did　was　to　thrash　the　son…in…law　of　the　Vice…Governor　at　the　Club。　Papa　had　to　take　the　greatest　pains　to　hush　up　the　scandal；　and　it　was　a　good　thing　that　the　Vice…Governor's　son…in…law　is　a　man　of　very　bad　reputation。　He　is　a　card…sharper　and　in　general　a　shady　personality；　yet　it　cost　father　more　than　two　thousand　roubles。　And　while　papa　was　busying　himself　about　that　scandal　Foma　came　near　drowning　a　whole　company　on　the　Volga。〃

〃Ha…ha！　How　monstrous！　And　that　same　man　busies　himself　with　investigating　as　to　the　meaning　of　life。〃

〃On　another　occasion　he　was　carousing　on　a　steamer　with　a　company　of　people　like　himself。　Suddenly　he　said　to　them：　'Pray　to　God！　I'll　fling　every　one　of　you　overboard！'　He　is　frightfully　strong。　They　screamed；　while　he　said：　'I　want　to　serve　my　country。　I　want　to　clear　the　earth　of　base　people。'〃

〃Really？　That's　clever！〃

〃He's　a　terrible　man！　How　many　wild　pranks　he　has　perpetrated　during　these　years！　How　much　money　he　has　squandered！〃

〃And；　tell　me；　on　what　conditions　does　father　manage　his　affairs　for　him？　Do　you　know？〃

〃No；　I　don't。　He　has　a　full　power　of　attorney。　Why　do　you　ask？〃

〃Simply　so。　It's　a　solid　business。　Of　course　it　is　conducted　in　purely　Russian　fashion；　in　other　words；　it　is　conducted　abominably。　But　it　is　a　splendid　business；　nevertheless。　If　it　were　managed　properly　it　would　be　a　most　profitable　gold　mine。〃

〃Foma　does　absolutely　nothing。　Everything　is　in　father's　hands。〃

〃Yes？　That's　fine。〃

〃Do　you　know；　sometimes　it　occurs　to　me　that　his　thoughtful　frame　of　mindthat　these　words　of　his　are　sincere；　and　that　he　can　be　very　decent。　But　I　cannot　reconcile　his　scandalous　life　with　his　words　and　arguments。　I　cannot　do　it　under　any　circumstances！〃

〃It　isn't　even　worthwhile　to　bother　about　it。　The　stripling　and　lazy　bones　seeks　to　justify　his　laziness。〃

〃No。　You　see；　at　times　he　is　like　a　child。　He　was　particularly　so　before。〃

〃Well；　that's　what　I　have　said：　he's　a　stripling。　Is　it　worth　while　talking　about　an　ignoramus　and　a　savage；　who　wishes　to　remain　an　ignoramus　and　a　savage；　and　does　not　conceal　the　fact？　You　see：　he　reasons　as　the　bear　in　the　fable　bent　the　shafts。〃

〃You　are　very　harsh。〃

〃Yes；　I　am　harsh！　People　require　that。　We　Russians　are　all　desperately　loose。　Happily；　life　is　so　arranged　that；　whether　we　will　it　or　not；　we　gradually　brace　up。　Dreams　are　for　the　lads　and　maidens；　but　for　serious　people　there　is　serious　business。〃

〃Sometimes　I　feel　very　sorry　for　Foma。　What　will　become　of　him？〃

〃That　does　not　concern　me。　I　believe　that　nothing　in　particular　will　become　of　himneither　good　nor　bad。　The　insipid　fellow　will　squander　his　money　away；　and　will　be　ruined。　What　else？　Eh；　the　deuce　take　him！　Such　people　as　he　is　are　rare　nowadays。　Now　the　merchant　knows　the　power　of　education。　And　he；　th