the man who was afraid-第50节

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〃Papa；　why　do　you　always　speak　to　me　in　such　a　way　as　though　I　were　a　small　child；　or　very　stupid？〃

〃Because　you　are　grown　up　and　yet　not　very　clever。　Yes！　That's　the　whole　story！　Go；　sit　down　and　eat！〃

She　walked　away　and　silently　seated　herself　opposite　her　father；　compressing　her　lips　for　affront。　Contrary　to　his　habits　Mayakin　ate　slowly；　stirring　his　spoon　in　his　plate　of　cabbage…soup　for　a　long　time；　and　examining　the　soup　closely。

〃If　your　obstructed　mind　could　but　comprehend　your　father's　thoughts！〃　said　he；　suddenly；　as　he　sighed　with　a　sort　of　whistling　sound。

Lubov　threw　her　spoon　aside　and　almost　with　tears　in　her　voice；　said：

〃Why　do　you　insult　me；　papa？　You　see　that　I　am　alone；　always　alone！　You　understand　how　difficult　my　life　is；　and　you　never　say　a　single　kind　word　to　me。　You　never　say　anything　to　me！　And　you　are　also　lonely；　life　is　difficult　for　you　too；　I　can　see　it。　You　find　it　very　hard　to　live；　but　you　alone　are　to　blame　for　it！　You　alone！

〃Now　Balaam's　she…ass　has　also　started　to　talk！〃　said　the　old　man；　laughing。　〃Well！　what　will　be　next？〃

〃You　are　very　proud　of　your　wisdom；　papa。〃

〃And　what　else？〃

〃That　isn't　good；　and　it　pains　me　greatly。　Why　do　you　repulse　me？　You　know　that；　save　you；　I　have　no　one。〃

Tears　leaped　to　her　eyes；　her　father　noticed　them；　and　his　face　quivered。

〃If　you　were　not　a　girl！〃　he　exclaimed。　〃If　you　had　as　much　brains　as　Marfa　Poosadnitza；　for　instance。　Eh；　Lubov？　Then　I'd　laugh　at　everybody；　and　at　Foma。　Come　now；　don't　cry！〃

She　wiped　her　eyes　and　asked：

〃What　about　Foma？〃

〃He's　rebellious。　Ha！　ha！　he　says：　'Take　away　my　property；　give　me　freedom！'　He　wants　to　save　his　soul　in　the　kabak。　That's　what　entered　Foma's　head。〃

〃Well；　what　is　this？〃　asked　Lubov；　irresolutely。　She　wanted　to　say　that　Foma's　desire　was　good；　that　it　was　a　noble　desire　if　it　were　earnest；　but　she　feared　to　irritate　her　father　with　her　words；　and　she　only　gazed　at　him　questioningly。

〃What　is　it？〃　said　Mayakin；　excitedly；　trembling。　〃That　either　comes　to　him　from　excessive　drinking；　or　elseHeaven　forbid　from　his　mother；　the　orthodox　spirit。　And　if　this　heathenish　leaven　is　going　to　rise　in　him　I'll　have　to　struggle　hard　with　him！　There　will　be　a　great　conflict　between　us。　He　has　come　out；　breast　foremost；　against　me；　he　has　at　once　displayed　great　audacity。　He's　young　there's　not　much　cunning　in　him　as　yet。　He　says：　'I'll　drink　away　everything；　everything　will　go　up　in　smoke！　I'll　show　you　how　to　drink！

Mayakin　lifted　his　hand　over　his　head；　and；　clenching　his　fist；　threatened　furiously。

〃How　dare　you？　Who　established　the　business？　Who　built　it　up？　You？　Your　father。　Forty　years　of　labour　were　put　into　it；　and　you　wish　to　destroy　it？　We　must　all　go　to　our　places　here　all　together　as　one　man；　there　cautiously；　one　by　one。　We　merchants；　tradesmen；　have　for　centuries　carried　Russia　on　our　shoulders；　and　we　are　still　carrying　it。　Peter　the　Great　was　a　Czar　of　divine　wisdom；　he　knew　our　value。　How　he　supported　us！　He　had　printed　books　for　the　express　purpose　of　teaching　us　business。　There　I　have　a　book　which　was　printed　at　his　order　by　Polidor　Virgily　Oorbansky；　about　inventory；　printed　in　1720。　Yes；　one　must　understand　this。　He　understood　it；　and　cleared　the　way　for　us。　And　now　we　stand　on　our　own　feet；　and　we　feel　our　place。　Clear　the　way　for　us！　We　have　laid　the　foundation　of　life；　instead　of　bricks　we　have　laid　ourselves　in　the　earth。　Now　we　must　build　the　stories。　Give　us　freedom　of　action！　That's　where　we　must　hold　our　course。　That's　where　the　problem　lies；　but　Foma　does　not　comprehend　this。　But　he　must　understand　it；　must　resume　the　work。　He　has　his　father's　means。　When　I　die　mine　will　be　added　to　his。　Work；　you　puppy！　And　he　is　raving。　No；　wait！　I'll　lift　you　up　to　the　proper　point！〃

The　old　man　was　choking　with　agitation　and　with　flashing　eyes　looked　at　his　daughter　so　furiously　as　though　Foma　were　sitting　in　her　place。　His　agitation　frightened　Lubov；　but　she　lacked　the　courage　to　interrupt　her　father；　and　she　looked　at　his　stern　and　gloomy　face　in　silence。

〃The　road　has　been　paved　by　our　fathers；　and　you　must　walk　on　it。　I　have　worked　for　fifty　years　to　what　purpose？　That　my　children　may　resume　it　after　I　am　gone。　My　children！　Where　are　my　children？〃

The　old　man　drooped　his　head　mournfully；　his　voice　broke　down；　and　he　said　sadly；　as　if　he　were　speaking　unto　himself：

〃One　is　a　convict；　utterly　ruined；　the　other；　a　drunkard。　I　have　little　hope　in　him。　My　daughter；　to　whom；　then；　shall　I　leave　my　labour　before　my　death？　If　I　had　but　a　son…in…law。　I　thought　Foma　would　become　a　man　and　would　be　sharpened　up；　then　I　would　give　you　unto　him；　and　with　you　all　I　havethere！　But　Foma　is　good　for　nothing；　and　I　see　no　one　else　in　his　stead。　What　sort　of　people　we　have　now！　In　former　days　the　people　were　as　of　iron；　while　now　they　are　of　india…rubber。　They　are　all　bending　now。　And　nothingthey　have　no　firmness　in　them。　What　is　it？　Why　is　it　so？〃

Mayakin　looked　at　his　daughter　with　alarm。　She　was　silent。

〃Tell　me；〃　he　asked　her；　〃what　do　you　need？　How；　in　your　opinion；　is　it　proper　to　live？　What　do　you　want？　You　have　studied；　read；　tell　me　what　is　it　that　you　need？〃

The　questions　fell　on　Lubov's　head　quite　unexpectedly　to　her；　and　she　was　embarrassed。　She　was　pleased　that　her　father　asked　her　about　this　matter；　and　was　at　the　same　time　afraid　to　reply；　lest　she　should　be　lowered　in　his　estimation。　And　then；　gathering　courage；　as　though　preparing　to　jump　across　the　table；　she　said　irresolutely　and　in　a　trembling　voice：

〃That　all　the　people　should　be　happy　and　contented；　that　all　the　people　should　be　equal；　all　the　people　have　an　equal　right　to　life；　to　the　bliss　of　life；　all　must　have　freedom；　even　as　they　have　air。　And　equality　ineverything！〃

At　the　beginning　of　her　agitated　speech　her　father　looked　at　her　face　with　anxious　curiosity　in　his　eyes；　but　as　she　went　on　hastily　hurling　her　words　at　him　his　eyes　assumed　an　altogether　different　expression；　and　finally　he　said　to　her　with　calm　contempt：

〃I　knew　it　beforeyou　are　a　gilded　fool！〃

She　lowered　her　head；　but　immediately　raised　it　and　exclaimed　sadly：

〃You　have　said　so　yourselffreedom。〃

〃You　had　better　hold　your　tongue！〃　the　old　man　shouted　at　her　rudely。　〃You　cannot　see　even　that　which　is　visibly　forced　outside　of　each　man。　How　can　all　the　people　be　happy　and　equal；　since　each　one　wants　to　be　above　the　other？　Even　the　beggar　has　his　pride　and　always　boasts　of　something　or　other　before　other　people。　A　small　child；　even　he　wants　to　be　first　among　his　playmates。　And　one　man　will　never　yield　to　another；　only　fools　believe　in　it。　Each　man　has　his　own　soul；　and　his　own　face；　only　those　who　love　not　their　souls　and　care　not　for　their　faces　can　be　planed　down　to　the　same　size。　Eh；　you！　You've　read　much　trash；　and　you've　devoured　it！〃

Bitter　reproach　and　biting　contempt　were　expressed　on　the　old　man's　face。　He　noisily　pushed　his　chair　away　from　the　table；　jumped　up；　and　folding　his　hands　behind　his　back；　began　to　dart　about　in　the　room　with　short　steps；　shaking　his　head　and　saying　something　to　himself　in　an　angry；　hissing　whisper。　Lubov；　pale　with　emotion　and　anger；　feeling　herself　stupid　and　powerless　before　him；　listening　to　his　whisper；　and　her　heart　palpitated　wildly。

〃I　am　left　alone；　alone；　like　Job。　0h　Lord！　What　shall　I　do？　Oh；　alone！　Am　I　not　wise？　Am　I　not　clever？　But　life　has　outwitted　me　also。　What　does　it　love？　Whom　does　it　fondle？　It　beats　the　good；　and　suffers　not　the　bad　to　go　unpunished；　and　no　one　understands　life's　justice。〃

The　girl　began　to　feel　painfully　sorry　for　the　old　man；　she　was　seized　with　an　intense　yearning　to　help　him；　she　longed　to　be　of　use　to　him。

Following　him　with　burning　eyes；　she　suddenly　said　in　a　low　voice：

〃Papa；　dear！　do　not　grieve。　Taras　is　still　alive。　Perhaps　he〃

Mayakin　stopped　suddenly　as　though　nailed　to　the　spot；　and　he　slowly　lifted　his　head。

〃The　tree　that　grew　crooked　in　its　youth　and　could　not　hold　out　will　certainly　break　when　it's　old。　But　nevertheless；　even　Taras　is　a　straw　to　me　now。　Though　I　doubt　whether　he　is　better　than　Foma。　Gordyeeff　has　a　character；　he　has　his　father's　daring。　He　can　take　a　great　deal　on　himself。　But　Taraska；　you　recalled　him　just　in　time。　Yes！〃

And　the　old　man；　who　a　moment　ago　had　lost　his　courage　to　the　point　of　complaining；　and；　grief…stricken　had　run　about　the　room　like　a　mouse　in　a　trap；　now　calmly　and　firmly　walked　up　with　a　careworn　face　to　the　table；　carefully　adjusted　his　chair；　and　seated　himself；　saying：

〃We'll　have　to　sound　Taraska。　He　lives　in　Usolye　at　some　factory。　I　was　told　by　some　merchantsthey're　making　soda　there；　I　believe。　I'll　find　out　the　particulars。　I'll　write　to　him。〃

〃Allow　me　to　write　to　him；　papa！〃　begged　Lubov；　softly；　flushing；　trembling　with　joy。

〃You？〃　asked　Mayakin；　casting　a　brief　glance　at　her；　he　then　became　silent；　thought　awhile　and　said：

〃That's　all　right。　That's　even　better！　Write　to　him。　Ask　him　whether　he　isn't　married；　how　he　lives；　what　he　thinks。　But　then　I'll　tell　you　what　to　write　when　the　time　has　come。〃

〃Do　it　at　once；　papa；〃　said　the　girl。

〃It　is　necessary　to　marry　you　off　the　sooner。　I　am　keeping　an　eye　on　a　certain