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〃Do not love me; but teach me。 But then; you cannot teach me the right thing!〃 said Foma; as he turned his back on the old man and left the hall。

Yakov Tarasovich Mayakin remained in the tavern alone。 He sat by the table; and; bending over it; made drawings of patterns on the tray; dipping his trembling finger in the spilt kvass; and his sharp…pointed head was sinking lower and lower over the table; as though he did not decipher; and could not make out what his bony finger was drawing on the tray。

Beads of perspiration glistened on his bald crown; and as usual the wrinkles on his cheeks quivered with frequent; irritable starts。

In the tavern a resounding tumult smote the air so that the window…panes were rattling。 From the Volga were wafted the whistlings of steamers; the dull beating of the wheels upon the water; the shouting of the loaderslife was moving onward unceasingly and unquestionably。

Summoning the waiter with a nod Yakov Tarasovich asked him with peculiar intensity and impressiveness

〃How much do I owe for all this?〃

CHAPTER X

PREVIOUS to his quarrel with Mayakin; Foma had caroused because of the weariness of life; out of curiosity; and half indifferently; now he led a dissipated life out of spite; almost in despair; now he was filled with a feeling of vengeance and with a certain insolence toward men; an insolence which astonished even himself at times。 He saw that the people about him; like himself; lacked support and reason; only they did not understand this; or purposely would not understand it; so as not to hinder themselves from living blindly; and from giving themselves completely; without a thought; to their dissolute life。 He found nothing firm in them; nothing steadfast; when sober; they seemed to him miserable and stupid; when intoxicated; they were repulsive to him; and still more stupid。 None of them inspired him with respect; with deep; hearty interest; he did not even ask them what their names were; he forgot where and when he made their acquaintance; and regarding them with contemptuous curiosity; always longed to say and do something that would offend them。 He passed days and nights with them in different places of amusement; and his acquaintances always depended just upon the category of each of these places。 In the expensive and elegant restaurants certain sharpers of the better class of society surrounded himgamblers; couplet singers; jugglers; actors; and property…holders who were ruined by leading depraved lives。 At first these people treated him with a patronizing air; and boasted before him of their refined tastes; of their knowledge of the merits of wine and food; and then they courted favours of him; fawned upon him; borrowed of him money which he scattered about without counting; drawing it from the banks; and already borrowing it on promissory notes。 In the cheap taverns hair…dressers; markers; clerks; functionaries and choristers surrounded him like vultures; and among these people he always felt betterfreer。 In these he saw plain people; not so monstrously deformed and distorted as that 〃clean society〃 of the elegant restaurants; these were less depraved; cleverer; better understood by him。 At times they evinced wholesome; strong emotions; and there was always something more human in them。 But; like the 〃clean society;〃 these were also eager for money; and shamelessly fleeced him; and he saw it and rudely mocked them。

To be sure; there were women。 Physically healthy; but not sensual; Foma bought them; the dear ones and the cheap ones; the beautiful and the ugly; gave them large sums of money; changed them almost every week; and in general; he treated the women better than the men。 He laughed at them; said to them disgraceful and offensive words; but he could never; even when half…drunk; rid himself of a certain bashfulness in their presence。 They all; even the most brazen…faced; the strongest and the most shameless; seemed to him weak and defenseless; like small children。 Always ready to thrash any man; he never laid a hand on women; although when irritated by something he sometimes abused them indecently。 He felt that he was immeasurably stronger than any woman; and every woman seemed to him immeasurably more miserable than he was。 Those of the women who led their dissolute lives audaciously; boasting of their depravity; called forth in Foma a feeling of bashfulness; which made him timid and awkward。 One evening; during supper hour; one of these women; intoxicated and impudent; struck Foma on the cheek with a melon…rind。 Foma was half…drunk。 He turned pale with rage; rose from his chair; and thrusting his hands into his pockets; said in a fierce voice which trembled with indignation:

〃You carrion; get out。 Begone! Someone else would have broken your head for this。 And you know that I am forbearing with you; and that my arm is never raised against any of your kind。 Drive her away to the devil!〃

A few days after her arrival in Kazan; Sasha became the mistress of a certain vodka…distiller's son; who was carousing together with Foma。 Going away with her new master to some place on the Kama; she said to Foma:

〃Goodbye; dear man! Perhaps we may meet again。 We're both going the same way! But I advise you not to give your heart free rein。 Enjoy yourself without looking back at anything。 And then; when the gruel is eaten up; smash the bowl on the ground。 Goodbye!〃

And she impressed a hot kiss upon his lips; at which her eyes looked still darker。

Foma was glad that she was leaving him; he had grown tired of her and her cold indifference frightened him。 But now something trembled within him; he turned aside from her and said in a low voice:

〃Perhaps you will not live well together; then come back to me。〃

〃Thank you!〃 she replied; and for some reason or other burst into hoarse laughter; which was uncommon with her。

Thus lived Foma; day in and day out; always turning around on one and the same place; amid people who were always alike; and who never inspired him with any noble feelings。 And then he considered himself superior to them; because the thoughts of the possibility of freeing himself from this life was taking deeper and deeper root in his mind; because the yearning for freedom held him in an ever firmer embrace; because ever brighter were the pictures as he imagined himself drifting away to the border of life; away from this tumult and confusion。 More than once; by night; remaining all by himself; he would firmly close his eyes and picture to himself a dark throng of people; innumerably great and even terrible in its immenseness。 Crowded together somewhere in a deep valley; which was surrounded by hillocks; and filled with a dusty mist; this throng jostled one another on the same place in noisy confusion; and looked like grain in a hopper。 It was as though an invisible millstone; hidden beneath the feet of the crowd; were grinding it; and people moved about it like waves now rushing downward to be ground the sooner and disappear; now bursting upward in the effort to escape the merciless millstone。 There were also people who resembled crabs just caught and thrown into a huge basketclutching at one another; they twined about heavily; crawled somewhere and interfered with one another; and could do nothing to free themselves from captivity。

Foma saw familiar faces amid the crowd: there his father is walking boldly; sturdily pushing aside and overthrowing everybody on his way; he is working with his long paws; massing everything with his chest; and laughing in thundering tones。 And then he disappears; sinking somewhere in the depth; beneath the feet of the people。 There; wriggling like a snake; now jumping on people's shoulders; now gliding between their feet; his godfather is working with his lean; but supple and sinewy body。 Here Lubov is crying and struggling; following her father; with abrupt but faint movements; now remaining behind him; now nearing him again。 Striding softly with a kind smile on her face; stepping aside from everybody; and making way for everyone; Aunt Anfisa is slowly moving along。 Her image quivers in the darkness before Foma; like the modest flame of a wax candle。 And it dies out and disappears in the darkness。 Pelagaya is quickly going somewhere along a straight road。 There Sophya Pavlovna Medinskaya is standing; her hands hanging impotently; just as she stood in her drawing…room when he saw her last。 Her eyes were large; but some great fright gleams in them。 Sasha; too; is here。 Indifferent; paying no attention to the jostling; she is stoutly going straight into the very dregs of life; singing her songs at the top of her voice; her dark eyes fixed in the distance before her。 Foma hears tumult; howls; laughter; drunken shouts; irritable disputes about copeckssongs and sobs hover over this enormous restless heap of living human bodies crowded into a pit。 They jump; fall; crawl; crush one another; leap on one another's shoulders; grope everywhere like blind people; stumbling everywhere over others like themselves; struggle; and; falling; disappear from sight。 Money rustles; soaring like bats over the heads of the people; and the people greedily stretch out their hands toward it; the gold and silver jingles; bottles rattle; corks p

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