the man who was afraid-第36节

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ovna？〃

〃It　is；　by　God！〃　avowed　Foma。

〃So；　the　devil　knows　what　the　result　may　be！〃　He　stopped　short；　shrugged　his　shoulders　perplexedly；　waved　his　hand；　and　again　began　to　pace　the　sidewalk；　looking　at　Foma　askance。　〃You'll　pay　for　this；　Foma　Ignatyevich。〃

〃Will　he　take　me　to　court？〃

〃Would　to　God　he　does。　He　is　the　Vice…Governor's　son…in…law；〃

〃Is　that　so？〃　said　Foma；　slowly；　and　made　a　long　face。

〃Yes。　To　tell　the　truth；　he　is　a　scoundrel　and　a　rascal。　According　to　this　fact　I　must　admit；　that　he　deserves　a　drubbing。　But　taking　into　consideration　the　fact　that　the　lady　you　defended　is　also〃

〃Sir！〃　said　Foma；　firmly；　placing　his　hand　on　Ookhtishchev's　shoulder；　〃I　have　always　liked　you；　and　you　are　now　walking　with　me。　I　understand　it　and　can　appreciate　it。　But　do　not　speak　ill　of　her　in　my　presence。　Whatever　she　may　be　in　your　opinion；　in　my　opinion；　she　is　dear　to　me。　To　me　she　is　the　best　woman。　So　I　am　telling　you　frankly。　Since　you　are　going　with　me；　do　not　touch　her。　I　consider　her　good；　therefore　she　is　good。〃

There　was　great　emotion　in　Foma's　voice。　Ookhtishchev　looked　at　him　and　said　thoughtfully：

〃You　are　a　queer　man；　I　must　confess。〃

〃I　am　a　simple　mana　savage。　I　have　given　him　a　thrashing　and　now　I　feel　jolly；　and　as　to　the　result；　let　come　what　will。'

〃I　am　afraid　that　it　will　result　in　something　bad。　Do　you　knowto　be　frank；　in　return　for　your　franknessI　also　like　you；　although　Mm！　It　is　rather　dangerous　to　be　with　you。　Such　a　knightly　temper　may　come　over　you　and　one　may　get　a　thrashing　at　your　hands。〃

〃How　so？　This　was　but　the　first　time。　I　am　not　going　to　beat　people　every　day；　am　I？〃　said　Foma；　confused。　His　companion　began　to　laugh。

〃What　a　monster　you　are！　Listen　to　meit　is　savage　to　fightyou　must　excuse　me；　but　it　is　abominable。　Yet；　I　must　tell　you；　in　this　case　you　made　a　happy　selection。　You　have　thrashed　a　rake；　a　cynic；　a　parasitea　man　who　robbed　his　nephews　with　impunity。〃

〃Well；　thank　God　for　that！〃　said　Foma　with　satisfaction。　〃Now　I　have　punished　him　a　little。〃

〃A　little？　Very　well；　let　us　suppose　it　was　a　little。　But　listen　to　me；　my　child；　permit　me　to　give　you　advice。　I　am　a　man　of　the　law。　He；　that　Kayazev；　is　a　rascal！　True！　But　you　must　not　thrash　even　a　rascal；　for　he　is　a　social　being；　under　the　paternal　custody　of　the　law。　You　cannot　touch　him　until　he　transgresses　the　limits　of　the　penal　code。　But　even　then；　not　you；　but　we；　the　judges；　will　give　him　his　due。　While　you　must　have　patience。〃

〃And　will　he　soon　fall　into　your　hands？〃　inquired　Foma；　naively。

〃It　is　hard　to　tell。　Being　far　from　stupid；　he　will　probably　never　be　caught；　and　to　the　end　of　his　days　he　will　live　with　you　and　me　in　the　same　degree　of　equality　before　the　law。　0h　God；　what　I　am　telling　you！〃　said　Ookhtishchev；　with　a　comical　sigh。

〃Betraying　secrets？〃　grinned　Foma。

〃It　isn't　secrets；　but　I　ought　not　to　be　frivolous。　De…e…evil！　But　then；　this　affair　enlivened　me。　Indeed；　Nemesis　is　even　then　true　to　herself　when　she　simply　kicks　like　a　horse。〃

Foma　stopped　suddenly；　as　though　he　had　met　an　obstacle　on　his　way。

〃Nemesisthe　goddess　of　Justice；〃　babbled　Ookhtishchev。　〃What's　the　matter　with　you？〃

〃And　it　all　came　about；〃　said　Foma；　slowly；　in　a　dull　voice；　〃because　you　said　that　she　was　going　away。〃

〃Who？

〃Sophya　Pavlovna。〃

〃Yes；　she　is　going　away。　Well？〃

He　stood　opposite　Foma　and　stared　at　him；　with　a　smile　in　his　eyes。　Gordyeeff　was　silent；　with　lowered　head；　tapping　the　stone　of　the　sidewalk　with　his　cane。

〃Come；〃　said　Ookhtishchev。

Foma　started；　saying　indifferently：

〃Well；　let　her　go。　And　I　am　alone。〃　Ookhtishchev；　waving　his　cane；　began　to　whistle；　looking　at　his　companion。

〃Sha'n't　I　be　able　to　get　along　without　her？〃　asked　Foma；　looking　somewhere　in　front　of　him　and　then；　after　a　pause；　he　answered　himself　softly　and　irresolutely：

〃Of　course；　I　shall。〃

〃Listen　to　me！〃　exclaimed　Ookhtishchev。　〃I'll　give　you　some　good　advice。　A　man　must　be　himself。　While　you；　you　are　an　epic　man；　so　to　say；　and　the　lyrical　is　not　becoming　to　you。　It　isn't　your　genre。〃

〃Speak　to　me　more　simply；　sir；〃　said　Foma；　having　listened　attentively　to　his　words。

〃More　simply？　Very　well。　I　want　to　say；　give　up　thinking　of　this　little　lady。　She　is　poisonous　food　for　you。〃

〃She　told　me　the　same；〃　put　in　Foma；　gloomily。

〃She　told　you？〃　Ookhtishchev　asked　and　became　thoughtful。　〃Now；　I'll　tell　you；　shouldn't　we　perhaps　go　and　have　supper？〃

〃Let's　go；〃　Foma　assented。　And　he　suddenly　roared　obdurately；　clinching　his　fists　and　waving　them　in　the　air：　〃Well；　let　us　go；　and　I'll　get　wound　up；　I'll　break　loose；　after　all　this；　so　you　can't　hold　me　back！〃

〃What　for？　We'll　do　it　modestly。〃

〃No！　wait！〃　said　Foma；　anxiously；　seizing　him　by　the　shoulder。　〃What's　that？　Am　I　worse　than　other　people？　Everybody　lives；　whirls；　hustles　about；　has　his　own　point。　While　I　am　weary。　Everybody　is　satisfied　with　himself。　And　as　to　their　complaining；　they　lie；　the　rascals！　They　are　simply　pretending　for　beauty's　sake。　I　have　no　reason　to　pretend。　I　am　a　fool。　I　don't　understand　anything；　my　dear　fellow。　I　simply　wish　to　live！　I　am　unable　to　think。　I　feel　disgusted；　one　says　this；　another　that！　Pshaw！　But　she；　eh！　If　you　knew。　My　hope　was　in　her。　I　expected　of　herjust　what　I　expected；　I　cannot　tell；　but　she　is　the　best　of　women！　And　I　had　so　much　faith　in　herwhen　sometimes　she　spoke　such　peculiar　words；　all　her　own。　Her　eyes；　my　dear　boy；　are　so　beautiful！　0h　Lord！　I　was　ashamed　to　look　upon　them；　and　as　I　am　telling　you；　she　would　say　a　few　words；　and　everything　would　become　clear　to　me。　For　I　did　not　come　to　her　with　love　aloneI　came　to　her　with　all　my　soul！　I　soughtI　thought　that　since　she　was　so　beautiful；　consequently；　I　might　become　a　man　by　her　side！〃

Ookhtishchev　listened　to　the　painful；　unconnected　words　that　burst　from　his　companion's　lips。　He　saw　how　the　muscles　of　his　face　contracted　with　the　effort　to　express　his　thoughts；　and　he　felt　that　behind　this　bombast　there　was　a　great；　serious　grief。　There　was　something　intensely　pathetic　in　the　powerlessness　of　this　strong　and　savage　youth；　who　suddenly　started　to　pace　the　sidewalk　with　big；　uneven　steps。　Skipping　along　after　him　with　his　short　legs；　Ookhtishchev　felt　it　his　duty　somehow　to　calm　Foma。　Everything　Foma　had　said　and　done　that　evening　awakened　in　the　jolly　secretary　a　feeling　of　lively　curiosity　toward　Foma；　and　then　he　felt　flattered　by　the　frankness　of　the　young　millionaire。　This　frankness　confused　him　with　its　dark　power；　he　was　disconcerted　by　its　pressure；　and　though；　in　spite　of　his　youth；　he　had　a　stock　of　words　ready　for　all　occasions　in　life；　it　took　him　quite　awhile　to　recall　them。

〃I　feel　that　everything　is　dark　and　narrow　about　me；〃　said　Gordyeeff。　〃I　feel　that　a　burden　is　falling　on　my　shoulders；　but　what　it　is　I　cannot　understand！　It　puts　a　restraint　on　me；　and　it　checks　the　freedom　of　my　movements　along　the　road　of　life。　Listening　to　people；　you　hear　that　each　says　a　different　thing。　But　she　could　have　said〃

〃Eh；　my　dear　boy！〃　Ookhtishchev　interrupted　Foma；　gently　taking　his　arm。　〃That　isn't　right！　You　have　just　started　to　live　and　already　you　are　philosophizing！　No；　that　is　not　right！　Life　is　given　us　to　live！　Which　meanslive　and　let　others　live。　That's　the　philosophy！　And　that　woman。　Bah！　Is　she　then　the　only　one　in　the　world？　The　world　is　large　enough。　If　you　wish；　I'll　introduce　you　to　such　a　virile　woman；　that　even　the　slightest　trace　of　your　philosophy　would　at　once　vanish　from　your　soul！　Oh；　a　remarkable　woman！　And　how　well　she　knows　how　to　avail　herself　of　life！　Do　you　know；　there's　also　something　epic　about　her？　She　is　beautiful；　a　Phryne；　I　may　say；　and　what　a　match　she　would　be　to　you！　Ah；　devil！　It　is　really　a　splendid　idea。　I'll　make　you　acquainted　with　her！　We　must　drive　one　nail　out　with　another。〃

〃My　conscience　does　not　allow　it；〃　said　Foma；　sadly　and　sternly。　〃So　long　as　she　is　alive；　I　cannot　even　look　at　women。〃

〃Such　a　robust　and　healthy　young　man。　Ho；　ho！〃　exclaimed　Ookhtishchev；　and　in　the　tone　of　a　teacher　began　to　argue　with　Foma　that　it　was　essential　for　him　to　give　his　passion　an　outlet　in　a　good　spree；　in　the　company　of　women。

〃This　will　be　magnificent；　and　it　is　indispensable　to　you。　You　may　believe　me。　And　as　to　conscience；　you　must　excuse　me。　You　don't　define　it　quite　properly。　It　is　not　conscience　that　interferes　with　you；　but　timidity；　I　believe。　You　live　outside　of　society。　You　are　bashful；　and　awkward。　Youare　dimly　conscious　of　all　this；　and　it　is　this　consciousness　that　you　mistake　for　conscience。　In　this　case　there　can　be　no　question　about　conscience。　What　has　conscience　to　do　here；　since　it　is　natural　for　man　to　enjoy　himself；　since　it　is　his　necessity　and　his　right？〃

Foma　walked　on；　regulating　his　steps　to　those　of　his　companion；　and　staring　along　the　road；　which　lay　between　two　rows　of　buildings；　resembled　an　enormous　ditch；　and　was　filled　with　darkness。　It　seemed　that　there　was　no　end　to　the　road　and　that　something　dark；　inexhaustible　and　suffocating　was　slowly　flowing　along　it　in　the　distance。　Ookhtishchev's　kind；　suasive　voice　rang　monotonously　in　Foma's　ears；　and　though　he　was　not　listening　to　his　words；　he　felt　that　they