the man who was afraid-第22节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


d　copecks。　From　the　dust　of　the　earth；　as　it　is　said；　and　even　as　he　has　intercourse　with　the　world；　he　absorbs　grease　and　oil；　sweat　and　tearsa　soul　and　a　mind　form　themselves　in　him。　And　from　this　he　starts　to　grow　upward　and　downward。　Now；　you　see　his　price　is　a　grosh；　now　a　fifteen　copeck　silver　piece；　now　a　hundred　roubles；　and　sometimes　he　is　above　any　price。　He　is　put　into　circulation　and　he　must　bring　interests　to　life。　Life　knows　the　value　of　each　of　us　and　will　not　check　our　course　before　time。　Nobody；　dear；　works　to　his　own　detriment；　if　he　is　wise。　And　life　has　saved　up　much　wisdom。　Are　you　listening？〃

〃I　am。〃

〃And　what　do　you　understand？〃

〃Everything。〃

〃You　are　probably　lying？〃　Mayakin　doubted。

〃But；　why　must　we　die？〃　asked　Foma　in　a　low　voice。

Mayakin　looked　into　his　face　with　regret；　smacked　his　lips　and　said：

〃A　wise　man　would　never　ask　such　a　question。　A　wise　man　knows　for　himself　that　if　it　is　a　river；　it　must　be　flowing　somewhere；　and　if　it　were　standing　in　one　place；　it　would　be　a　swamp。〃

〃You're　simply　mocking　me　at　random；〃　said　Foma；　sternly。　〃The　sea　is　not　flowing　anywhere。〃

〃The　sea　receives　all　rivers　into　itself；　and　then；　powerful　storms　rage　in　it　at　times。　Then　the　sea　of　life　also　submits　on　agitation；　stirred　up　by　men；　and　death　renovates　the　waters　of　the　sea　of　life；　that　they　might　not　become　spoiled。　No　matter　how　many　people　are　dying；　they　are　nevertheless　forever　growing　in　number。〃

〃What　of　it？　But　my　father　is　dead。〃

〃You　will　die　as　well。〃

〃Then　what　have　I　to　do　with　the　fact　that　people　are　growing　in　number？〃　Foma　smiled　sadly。

〃Eh；　he；　he！〃　sighed　Mayakin。　〃That；　indeed；　concerns　none　of　us。　There；　your　trousers　probably　reason　in　the　same　way：　what　have　we　to　do　with　the　fact　that　there　are　all　sorts　of　stuff　in　the　world？　But　you　do　not　mind　themyou　wear　them　out　and　throw　them　away。〃

Foma　glanced　at　his　godfather　reproachfully；　and　noticing　that　the　old　man　was　smiling；　he　was　astonished　and　he　asked　respectfully：

〃Can　it　be　true；　father；　that　you　do　not　fear　death？〃

〃Most　of　all　I　fear　foolishness；　my　child；〃　replied　Mayakin　with　humble　bitterness。　〃My　opinion　is　this：　if　a　fool　give　you　honey；　spit　upon　it；　if　a　wise　man　give　you　poison；　drink　it！　And　I　will　tell　you　that　the　perch　has　a　weak　soul　since　his　fins　do　not　stand　on　end。〃

The　old　man's　mocking　words　offended　and　angered　Foma。　He　turned　aside　and　said：

〃You　can　never　speak　without　these　subterfuges。〃

〃I　cannot！〃　exclaimed　Mayakin；　and　his　eyes　began　to　sparkle　with　alarm。　〃Each　man　uses　the　very　same　tongue　he　has。　Do　I　seem　to　be　stern？　Do　I？〃

Foma　was　silent。

〃Eh；　you。　Know　thishe　loves　who　teaches。　Remember　this　well。　And　as　to　death；　do　not　think　of　it。　It　is　foolish；　dear；　for　a　live　man　to　think　of　death。　'Ecclesiastes'　reflected　on　death　better　than　anybody　else　reflected　on　it；　and　said　that　a　living　dog　is　better　than　a　dead　lion。〃

They　came　home。　The　street　near　the　house　was　crowded　with　carriages；　and　from　the　open　windows　came　loud　sounds　of　talk。　As　soon　as　Foma　appeared　in　the　hall；　he　was　seized　by　the　arms　and　led　away　to　the　table　and　there　was　urged　to　drink　and　eat　something。　A　marketplace　noise　smote　the　air；　the　hall　was　crowded　and　suffocating。　Silently；　Foma　drank　a　glass　of　vodka；　then　another；　and　a　third。　Around　him　they　were　munching　and　smacking　their　lips；　the　vodka　poured　out　from　the　bottles　was　gurgling；　the　wine…glasses　were　tinkling。　They　were　speaking　of　dried　sturgeon　and　of　the　bass　of　the　soloist　of　the　bishop's　choir；　and　then　again　of　the　dried　sturgeon；　and　then　they　said　that　the　mayor　also　wished　to　make　a　speech；　but　did　not　venture　to　do　so　after　the　bishop　had　spoken；　fearing　lest　he　should　not　speak　so　well　as　the　bishop。　Someone　was　telling　with　feeling：

〃The　deceased　one　used　to　do　thus：　he　would　cut　off　a　slice　of　salmon；　pepper　it　thickly；　cover　it　with　another　slice　of　salmon；　and　then　send　it　down　immediately　after　a　drink。〃

〃Let　us　follow　his　example；〃　roared　a　thick　basso。　Offended　to　the　quick；　Foma　looked　with　a　frown　at　the　fat　lips　and　at　the　jaws　chewing　the　tasty　food；　and　he　felt　like　crying　out　and　driving　away　all　these　people；　whose　sedateness　had　but　lately　inspired　him　with　respect　for　them。

〃You　had　better　be　more　kind；　more　sociable；〃　said　Mayakin　in　a　low　voice；　coming　up　to　him。

〃Why　are　they　gobbling　here？　Is　this　a　tavern？〃　cried　Foma；　angrily。

〃Hush；〃　Mayakin　remarked　with　fright　and　hastily　turned　to　look　around　with　a　kind　smile　on　his　face。

But　it　was　too　late；　his　smile　was　of　no　avail。　Foma's　words　had　been　overheard；　the　noise　and　the　talk　was　subsiding；　some　of　the　guests　began　to　bustle　about　hurriedly；　others；　offended；　frowned；　put　down　their　forks　and　knives　and　walked　away　from　the　table；　all　looking　at　Foma　askance。

Silent　and　angry；　he　met　these　glances　without　lowering　his　eyes。

〃I　ask　you　to　come　up　to　the　table！　〃cried　Mayakin；　gleaming　amid　the　crowd　of　people　like　an　ember　amid　ashes。　〃Be　seated；　pray！　They're　soon　serving　pancakes。〃

Foma　shrugged　his　shoulders　and　walked　off　toward　the　door；　saying　aloud：

〃I　shall　not　eat。〃

He　heard　a　hostile　rumbling　behind　him　and　his　godfather's　wheedling　voice　saying　to　somebody：

〃It's　for　grief。　Ignat　was　at　once　father　and　mother　to　him。〃

Foma　came　out　in　the　garden　and　sat　down　on　the　same　place　where　his　father　had　died。　The　feeling　of　loneliness　and　grief　oppressed　his　heart。　He　unbuttoned　the　collar　of　his　shirt　to　make　his　breathing　easier；　rested　his　elbows　on　the　table；　and　with　his　head　tightly　pressed　between　his　hands；　he　sat　motionless。　It　was　drizzling　and　the　leaves　of　the　apple…tree　were　rustling　mournfully　under　the　drops　of　the　rain。　He　sat　there　for　a　long　time　alone；　motionless；　watching　how　the　small　drops　were　falling　from　the　apple…tree。　His　head　was　heavy　from　the　vodka；　and　in　his　heart　there　was　a　growing　grudge　against　men。　Some　indefinite；　impersonal　feelings　and　thoughts　were　springing　up　and　vanishing　within　him；　before　him　flashed　the　bald　skull　of　his　godfather　with　a　little　crown　of　silver　hair　and　with　a　dark　face；　which　resembled　the　faces　of　the　ancient　ikons。　This　face　with　the　toothless　mouth　and　the　malicious　smile；　rousing　in　Foma　hatred　and　fear；　augmented　in　him　the　consciousness　of　solitude。　Then　he　recalled　the　kind　eyes　of　Medinskaya　and　her　small；　graceful　figure；　and　beside　her　arose　the　tall；　robust；　and　rosy…　cheeked　Lubov　Mayakina　with　smiling　eyes　and　with　a　big　light　golden…　coloured　braid。　〃Do　not　rely　upon　men；　expect　but　little　at　their　hands〃his　father's　words　began　to　ring　in　his　memory。　He　sighed　sadly　and　cast　a　glance　around　him。　The　tree　leaves　were　fluttering　from　the　rain；　and　the　air　was　full　of　mournful　sounds。　The　gray　sky　seemed　as　though　weeping；　and　on　the　trees　cold　tears　were　trembling。　And　Foma's　soul　was　dry；　dark；　it　was　filled　with　a　painful　feeling　of　orphanhood。　But　this　feeling　gave　birth　to　the　question：

〃How　shall　I　live　now　that　I　am　alone？〃

The　rain　drenched　his　clothes；　and　when　he　felt　that　he　was　shivering　with　cold　he　arose　and　went　into　the　house。

Life　was　tugging　him　from　all　sides；　giving　him　no　chance　to　be　concentrated　in　thinking　of　and　grieving　for　his　father；　and　on　the　fortieth　day　after　Ignat's　death　Foma；　attired　in　holiday　clothes；　with　a　pleasant　feeling　in　his　heart；　went　to　the　ceremony　of　the　corner…stone　laying　of　the　lodging…asylum。　Medinskaya　notified　him　in　a　letter　the　day　before；　that　he　had　been　elected　as　a　member　of　the　building　committee　and　also　as　honorary　member　of　the　society　of　which　she　was　president。　This　pleased　him　and　he　was　greatly　agitated　by　the　part　he　was　to　play　today　at　the　laying　of　the　corner…stone。　On　his　way　he　thought　of　how　everything　would　be　and　how　he　should　behave　in　order　not　to　be　confused　before　the　people。

〃Eh；　eh！　Hold　on！〃

He　turned　around。　Mayakin　came　hastening　to　him　from　the　sidewalk。　He　was　in　a　frock…coat　that　reached　his　heels；　in　a　high　cap；　and　he　carried　a　huge　umbrella　in　his　hand。

〃Come　on；　take　me　up　there；〃　said　the　old　man；　cleverly　jumping　into　the　carriage　like　a　monkey。　〃To　tell　the　truth；　I　was　waiting　for　you。　I　was　looking　around；　thinking　it　was　time　for　you　to　go。〃

〃Are　you　going　there？〃　asked　Foma。

〃Of　course！　I　must　see　how　they　will　bury　my　friend's　money　in　the　ground。〃

Foma　looked　at　him　askance　and　was　silent。　〃Why　do　you　frown　upon　me？　Don't　fear；　you　will　also　start　out　as　a　benefactor　among　men。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？〃　asked　Foma；　reservedly。　〃I've　read　in　the　newspaper　this　morning　that　you　were　elected　as　a　member　of　the　building　committee　and　also　as　an　honorary　member　of　Sophya's　society。〃

〃Yes。〃

〃This　membership　will　eat　into　your　pocket！〃　sighed　Mayakin。

〃That　wouldn't　ruin　me。〃

〃I　don't　know　it；〃　observed　the　old　man；　maliciously。

〃I　speak　of　this　more　because　there　is　altogether　very　little　wisdom　in　this　charity　business；　and　I　may　even　say　that　it　isn't　a　business　at　all；　but　simply　harmful　nonsense。〃

〃Is　it　harmful　to　aid　people？〃　asked　Foma；　hotly。

〃Eh；　you　cabbage　head！〃　said　Mayakin　with　a　smile。　〃You　had　better　come　up　to　my　house；　I'll　open　your　eyes　in　re