5 midnigh+sun-第7节
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again。〃
She was on her feet in one nimble move； and then she was running away；
ghosting across the snow so quickly that her feet had no time to sink into the snow； she
left no prints behind her。 She didn't look back。 My rejection bothered her more than
she'd let on before； even in her thoughts。 She wouldn't want to see me again before I
left。
My mouth twisted with chagrin。 I didn't like hurting Tanya； though her feelings
were not deep； hardly pure； and； in any case； not something I could return。 It still made
me feel less than a gentleman。
I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again； though I was suddenly
anxious to be on my way。 I knew that Alice would see me coming home； that she would
tell the others。 This would make them happy—Carlisle and Esme especially。 But I gazed
at the stars for one more moment； trying to see past the face in my head。 Between me
and the brilliant lights in the sky； a pair of bewildered chocolate…brown eyes stared back
at me； seeming to ask what this decision would mean for her。 Of course； I couldn't be
sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought。 Even in my imagination； I
couldn't hear her thoughts。 Bella Swan's eyes continued to question； and an
unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me。 With a heavy sigh； I gave up； and
got to my feet。 If I ran； I would be back to Carlisle's car in less than an hour？
In a hurry to see my family—and wanting very much to be the Edward that faced
things head on—I raced across the starlit snowfield； leaving no footprints。
〃It's going to be okay；〃 Alice breathed。 Her eyes were unfocused； and Jasper had one
hand lightly under her elbow； guiding her forward as we walked into the rundown
cafeteria in a close group。 Rosalie and Emmett led the way； Emmett looking ridiculously
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like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory。 Rose looked wary； too； but much
more irritated than protective。
〃Of course it is；〃 I grumbled。 Their behavior was ludicrous。 If I wasn't positive
that I could handle this moment； I would have stayed home。
The sudden shift from our normal； even playful morning—it had snowed in the
night； and Emmett and Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to
bombard me with slushballs； when they got bored with my lack of response； they'd
turned on each other—to this overdone vigilance would have been comical if it weren't
so irritating。
〃She's not here yet； but the way she's going to come in？she won't be downwind
if we sit in our regular spot。〃
〃Of course we'll sit in our regular spot。 Stop it； Alice。 You're getting on my
nerves。 I'll be absolutely fine。〃
She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat； and her eyes finally focused
on my face。
〃Hmm；〃 she said； sounding surprised。 〃I think you're right。〃
〃Of course I am；〃 I muttered。
I hated being the focus of their concern。 I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper；
remembering all the times we'd hovered protectively over him。 He met my glance
briefly； and grinned。
Annoying； isn't it？
I grimaced at him。
Was it just last week that this long； drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me？
That it had seemed almost like sleep； like a coma； to be here？
Today my nerves were stretched tight—piano wires； tensed to sing at the lightest
pressure。 My senses were hyper…alert； I scanned every sound； every sight； every
movement of the air that touched my skin； every thought。 Especially the thoughts。 There
was only one sense that I kept locked down； refused to use。 Smell； of course。 I didn't
breathe。
I was expecting to hear more about the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted
through。 All day I'd been waiting； searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella
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Swan might have confided in； trying to see the direction the new gossip would take。 But
there was nothing。 No one noticed the five vampires in the cafeteria； just the same as
before the new girl had come。 Several of the humans here were still thinking of that girl；
still thinking the same thoughts from last week。 Instead of finding this unutterably
boring； I was now fascinated。
Had she said nothing to anyone about me？
There was no way that she had not noticed my black； murderous glare。 I had seen
her react to it。 Surely； I'd scared her silly。 I had been convinced that she would have
mentioned it to someone； maybe even exaggerated the story a bit to make it better。 Given
me a few menacing lines。
And then； she'd also heard me trying to get out of our shared biology class。 She
must have wondered； after seeing my expression； whether she were the cause。 A normal
girl would have asked around； compared her experience to others； looked for common
ground that would explain my behavior so she didn't feel singled out。 Humans were
constantly desperate to feel normal； to fit in。 To blend in with everyone else around
them； like a featureless flock of sheep。 The need was particularly strong during the
insecure adolescent years。 This girl would be no exception to that rule。
But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here； at our normal table。 Bella
must be exceptionally shy； if she'd confided in no one。 Perhaps she had spoken to her
father； maybe that was the strongest relationship？though that seemed unlikely； given the
fact that she had spent so little time with him throughout her life。 She would be closer to
her mother。 Still； I would have to pass by Chief Swan sometime soon and listen to what
he was thinking。
〃Anything new？〃 Jasper asked。
〃Nothing。 She？must not have said anything。〃
All of them raised an eyebrow at this news。
〃Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are；〃 Emmett said； chuckling。 〃I bet
I could have frightened her better than that。〃
I rolled my eyes at him。
〃Wonder why？？〃 He puzzled again over my revelation about the girl's unique
silence。
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〃We've been over that。 I don't know。〃
〃She's coming in；〃 Alice murmured then。 I felt my body go rigid。 〃Try to look
human。〃
〃Human； you say？〃 Emmett asked。
He held up his right fist； twisting his fingers to reveal the snowball he'd saved in
his palm。 Of course it had not melted there。 He'd squeezed it into a lumpy block of ice。
He had his eyes on Jasper； but I saw the direction of his thoughts。 So did Alice； of
course。 When he abruptly hurled the ice chunk at her； she flicked it away with a casual
flutter of her fingers。 The ice ricocheted across the length of the cafeteria； too fast to be
visible to human eyes； and shattered with a sharp crack against the brick wall。 The brick
cracked； too。
The heads in that corner of the room all turned to stare at the pile of broken ice on
the floor； and then swiveled to find the culprit。 They didn't look further than a few tables
away。 No one looked at us。
〃Very human； Emmett；〃 Rosalie said scathingly。 〃Why don't you punch through
the wall while you're at it？〃
〃It would look more impressive if you did it； baby。〃
I tried to pay attention to them； keeping a grin fixed on my face like I was part of
their banter。 I did not allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was
standing。 But that was all that I was listening to。
I could hear Jessica's impatience with the new girl； who seemed to be distracted；
too； standing motionless in the moving line。 I saw； in Jessica's thoughts； that Bella
Swan's cheeks were once more colored bright pink with blood。
I pulled in short； shallow breaths； ready to quit breathing if any hint of her scent
touched the air near me。
Mike Newton was with the two girls。 I heard both his voices； mental and verbal；
when he asked Jessica what was wrong with the Swan girl。 I didn't like the way his
thoughts wrapped around her； the flicker of already established fantasies that clouded his
mind while he watched her start and look up from her reverie like she'd forgotten he was
there。
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〃Nothing；〃 I heard Bella say in that quiet； clear voice。 It seemed to ring like a bell
over the babble in the cafeteria； but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so
intently。
〃I'll just get a soda today；〃 she continued as she moved to catch up with the line。
I couldn't help flickering one glance in her direction。 She was staring at the floor；
the blood slowly fading from her face。 I looked away quickly； to Emmett； who laughed
at the now pained…looking smile on my face。
You look sick； bro。
I rearranged my features so the expression would seem casual and effortless。
Jessica was wondering aloud about the girl's lack of appetite。 〃Aren't you
hungry？〃
〃Actually； I feel a little sick。〃 Her voice was lower； but still very clear。
Why did it bother me； the protective concern that suddenly emanated from Mike
Newton's thoughts？ What did it matter that there was a possessive edge to them？ It
wasn't my business if Mike Newton felt unnecessarily anxious for her。 Perhaps this was
the way everyone responded to her。 Hadn't I wanted； instinctively； to protect her； too？
Befo
