5 midnigh+sun-第6节

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？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
22　

〃Stop！〃　I　groaned；　not　able　to　bear　more。　
〃Sorry；〃　she　whispered；　her　eyes　wide。　
The　monster　rejoiced。　
And　the　vision　in　her　head　shifted　again。　　An　empty　highway　at　night；　the　trees　
beside　it　coated　in　snow；　flashing　by　at　almost　two　hundred　miles　per　hour。　
〃I'll　miss　you；〃　she　said。　　〃No　matter　how　short　a　time　you're　gone。〃　
Emmett　and　Rosalie　exchanged　an　apprehensive　glance。　
We　were　almost　to　the　turn　off　onto　the　long　drive　that　led　to　our　home。　
〃Drop　us　here；〃　Alice　instructed。　　〃You　should　tell　Carlisle　yourself。〃　
I　nodded；　and　the　car　squealed　to　a　sudden　stop。　
Emmett；　Rosalie　and　Jasper　got　out　in　silence；　they　would　make　Alice　explain　
when　I　was　gone。　　Alice　touched　my　shoulder。　
〃You　will　do　the　right　thing；〃　she　murmured。　　Not　a　vision　this　time—an　order。　
〃She's　Charlie　Swan's　only　family。　　It　would　kill　him；　too。〃　
〃Yes；〃　I　said；　agreeing　only　with　the　last　part。　
She　slid　out　to　join　the　others；　her　eyebrows　pulling　together　in　anxiety。　　They　
melted　into　woods；　out　of　sight　before　I　could　turn　the　car　around。　
I　accelerated　back　toward　town；　and　I　knew　the　visions　in　Alice's　head　would　be　
flashing　from　dark　to　bright　like　a　strobe　light。　　As　I　sped　back　to　Forks　doing　ninety；　I　
wasn't　sure　where　I　was　going。　　To　say　goodbye　to　my　father？　　Or　to　embrace　the　
monster　inside　me？　　The　road　flew　away　beneath　my　tires。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
23　
2。　　Open　Book　
I　leaned　back　against　the　soft　snow　bank；　letting　the　dry　powder　reshape　itself　around　my　
weight。　　My　skin　had　cooled　to　match　the　air　around　me；　and　the　tiny　pieces　of　ice　felt　
like　velvet　under　my　skin。　
The　sky　above　me　was　clear；　brilliant　with　stars；　glowing　blue　in　some　places；　
yellow　in　others。　　The　stars　created　majestic；　swirling　shapes　against　the　black　universe—　
an　awesome　sight。　　Exquisitely　beautiful。　　Or　rather；　it　should　have　been　exquisite。　
Would　have　been；　if　I'd　been　able　to　really　see　it。　
It　wasn't　getting　any　better。　　Six　days　had　passed；　six　days　I'd　hidden　here　in　the　
empty　Denali　wilderness；　but　I　was　no　closer　to　freedom　than　I　had　been　since　the　first　
moment　that　I'd　caught　her　scent。　
When　I　stared　up　at　the　jeweled　sky；　it　was　as　if　there　were　an　obstruction　
between　my　eyes　and　their　beauty。　　The　obstruction　was　a　face；　just　an　unremarkable　
human　face；　but　I　couldn't　quite　seem　to　banish　it　from　my　mind。　
I　heard　the　approaching　thoughts　before　I　heard　the　footsteps　that　accompanied　
them。　　The　sound　of　movement　was　only　a　faint　whisper　against　the　powder。　
I　was　not　surprised　that　Tanya　had　followed　me　here。　　I　knew　she'd　been　mulling　
over　this　coming　conversation　for　the　last　few　days；　putting　it　off　until　she　was　sure　of　
exactly　what　she　wanted　to　say。　
She　sprang　into　sight　about　sixty　yards　away；　leaping　onto　the　tip　of　an　
outcropping　of　black　rock　and　balancing　there　on　the　balls　of　her　bare　feet。　
Tanya's　skin　was　silver　in　the　starlight；　and　her　long　blond　curls　shone　pale；　
almost　pink　with　their　strawberry　tint。　　Her　amber　eyes　glinted　as　she　spied　me；　half…　
buried　in　the　snow；　and　her　full　lips　stretched　slowly　into　a　smile。　
Exquisite。　　If　I'd　really　been　able　to　see　her。　　I　sighed。　
She　crouched　down　on　the　point　of　the　stone；　her　fingertips　touching　the　rock；　her　
body　coiled。　
Cannonball；　she　thought。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
24　

She　launched　herself　into　the　air；　her　shape　became　a　dark；　twisting　shadow　as　she　
spun　gracefully　between　me　and　the　stars。　　She　curled　herself　into　a　ball　just　as　she　struck　
the　piled　snow　bank　beside　me。　
A　blizzard　of　snow　flew　up　around　me。　　The　stars　went　black　and　I　was　buried　
deep　in　the　feathery　ice　crystals。　
I　sighed　again；　but　didn't　move　to　unearth　myself。　　The　blackness　under　the　snow　
neither　hurt　nor　improved　the　view。　　I　still　saw　the　same　face。　
〃Edward？〃　
Then　snow　was　flying　again　as　Tanya　swiftly　disinterred　me。　　She　brushed　the　
powder　from　my　unmoving　face；　not　quite　meeting　my　eyes。　
〃Sorry；〃　she　murmured。　　〃It　was　a　joke。〃　
〃I　know。　　It　was　funny。〃　
Her　mouth　twisted　down。　
〃Irina　and　Kate　said　I　should　leave　you　alone。　　They　think　I'm　annoying　you。〃　
〃Not　at　all；〃　I　assured　her。　　〃On　the　contrary；　I'm　the　one　who's　being　rude—　
abominably　rude。　　I'm　very　sorry。〃　
You're　going　home；　aren't　you？　　she　thought。　
〃I　haven't？entirely？decided　that　yet。〃　
But　you're　not　staying　here。　　Her　thought　was　wistful　now；　sad。　
〃No。　　It　doesn't　seem　to　be？helping。〃　
She　grimaced。　　〃That's　my　fault；　isn't　it？〃　
〃Of　course　not；〃　I　lied　smoothly。　
Don't　be　a　gentleman。　
I　smiled。　
I　make　you　uncomfortable；　she　accused。　
〃No。〃　
She　raised　one　eyebrow；　her　expression　so　disbelieving　that　I　had　to　laugh。　　One　
short　laugh；　followed　by　another　sigh。　
〃All　right；〃　I　admitted。　　〃A　little　bit。〃　
She　sighed；　too；　and　put　her　chin　in　her　hands。　　Her　thoughts　were　chagrined。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
25　

〃You're　a　thousand　times　lovelier　than　the　stars；　Tanya。　　Of　course；　you're　
already　well　aware　of　that。　　Don't　let　my　stubbornness　undermine　your　confidence。〃　　I　
chuckled　at　the　unlikeliness　of　that。　
〃I'm　not　used　to　rejection；〃　she　grumbled；　her　lower　lip　pushing　out　into　an　
attractive　pout。　
〃Certainly　not；〃　I　agreed；　trying　with　little　success　to　block　out　her　thoughts　as　
she　fleetingly　sifted　through　memories　of　her　thousands　of　successful　conquests。　　Mostly　
Tanya　preferred　human　men—they　were　much　more　populous　for　one　thing；　with　the　
added　advantage　of　being　soft　and　warm。　　And　always　eager；　definitely。　
〃Succubus；〃　I　teased；　hoping　to　interrupt　the　images　flickering　in　her　head。　
She　grinned；　flashing　her　teeth。　　〃The　original。〃　
Unlike　Carlisle；　Tanya　and　her　sisters　had　discovered　their　consciences　slowly。　　In　
the　end；　it　was　their　fondness　for　human　men　that　turned　the　sisters　against　the　slaughter。　
Now　the　men　they　loved？lived。　
〃When　you　showed　up　here；〃　Tanya　said　slowly。　　〃I　thought　that？〃　
I'd　known　what　she'd　thought。　　And　I　should　have　guessed　that　she　would　have　
felt　that　way。　　But　I　hadn't　been　at　my　best　for　analytical　thinking　in　that　moment。　
〃You　thought　that　I'd　changed　my　mind。〃　
〃Yes。〃　　She　scowled。　
〃I　feel　horrible　for　toying　with　your　expectations；　Tanya。　　I　didn't　mean　to—I　
wasn't　thinking。　　It's　just　that　I　left　in？quite　a　hurry。〃　
〃I　don't　suppose　you'd　tell　me　why？？〃　
I　sat　up　and　wrapped　my　arms　around　my　legs；　curling　defensively。　　〃I　don't　want　
to　talk　about　it。〃　
Tanya；　Irina　and　Kate　were　very　good　at　this　life　they'd　committed　to。　　Better；　in　
some　ways；　than　even　Carlisle。　　Despite　the　insanely　close　proximity　they　allowed　
themselves　with　those　who　should　be—and　once　were—their　prey；　they　did　not　make　
mistakes。　　I　was　too　ashamed　to　admit　my　weakness　to　Tanya。　
〃Woman　troubles？〃　she　guessed；　ignoring　my　reluctance。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
26　

I　laughed　a　bleak　laugh。　　〃Not　the　way　you　mean　it。〃　
She　was　quiet　then。　　I　listened　to　her　thoughts　as　she　ran　through　different　
guesses；　tried　to　decipher　the　meaning　of　my　words。　
〃You're　not　even　close；〃　I　told　her。　
〃One　hint？〃　she　asked。　
〃Please　let　it　go；　Tanya。〃　
She　was　quiet　again；　still　speculating。　　I　ignored　her；　trying　in　vain　to　appreciate　
the　stars。　
She　gave　up　after　a　silent　moment；　and　her　thoughts　pursued　a　new　direction。　
Where　will　you　go；　Edward；　if　you　leave？　　Back　to　Carlisle？　
〃I　don't　think　so；〃　I　whispered。　
Where　would　I　go？　　I　could　not　think　of　one　place　on　the　entire　planet　that　held　
any　interest　for　me。　　There　was　nothing　I　wanted　to　see　or　do。　　Because；　no　matter　where　I　
went；　I　would　not　be　going　to　anywhere—I　would　only　be　running　from。　
I　hated　that。　　When　had　I　become　such　a　coward？　
Tanya　threw　her　slender　arm　around　my　shoulders。　　I　stiffened；　but　did　not　flinch　
out　from　under　her　touch。　　She　meant　it　as　nothing　more　than　friendly　comfort。　　Mostly。　
〃I　think　that　you　will　go　back；〃　she　said；　her　voice　taking　on　just　a　hint　of　her　long　
lost　Russian　accent。　　〃No　matter　what　it　is？or　who　it　is。。。that　is　haunting　you。　　You'll　
face　it　head　on。　　You're　the　type。〃　
Her　thoughts　were　as　certain　as　her　words。　　I　tried　to　embrace　the　vision　of　myself　
that　she　carried　in　her　head。　　The　one　who　faced　things　head　on。　　It　was　pleasant　to　think　
of　myself　that　way　again。　　I'd　never　doubted　my　courage；　my　ability　to　face　difficulty；　
before　that　horrible　hour　in　a　high　school　biology　class　such　a　short　time　ago。　
I　kissed　her　cheek；　pulling　back　swiftly　when　she　twisted　her　face　toward　mine；　
her　lips　already　puckered。　　She　smiled　ruefully　at　my　quickness。　
〃Thank　you；　Tanya。　　I　needed　to　hear　that。〃　
Her　thoughts　turned　petulant。　　〃You're　welcome；　I　guess。　　I　wish　you　would　be　
more　reasonable　about　things；　Edward。〃　
〃I'm　sorry；　Tanya。　　You　know　you're　too　good　for　me。　　I　just？haven't　found　
what　I'm　looking　for　yet。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
27　

〃Well；　if　you　leave　before　I　see　you　again？goodbye；　Edward。〃　
〃Goodbye；　Tanya。〃　　As　I　said　the　words；　I　could　see　it。　　I　could　see　myself　
leaving。　　Being　strong　enough　to　go　back　to　the　one　place　where　I　wanted　to　be。　　〃Thanks　
again。〃　
She　was　on　her　feet　in　one　nimble　move；　and　then　she　was　ru