5 midnigh+sun-第53节

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〃You've　never　seen　me　in　gym；　I　guess；　but　I　would　have　thought　that　you　would　
understand。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
241　

Ah。　　〃Are　you　referring　to　the　fact　that　you　can't　walk　across　a　flat；　stable　surface　
without　finding　something　to　trip　over？〃　
〃Obviously。〃　
〃That　wouldn't　be　a　problem。　　It's　all　in　the　leading。〃　
For　a　brief　fraction　of　a　second；　I　was　overwhelmed　by　the　idea　of　holding　her　in　
my　arms　at　a　dance—where　she　would　surely　wear　something　pretty　and　delicate　rather　
than　this　hideous　sweater。　
With　perfect　clarity；　I　remembered　how　her　body　had　felt　under　mine　after　I'd　
thrown　her　out　of　the　way　of　the　oncoming　van。　　Stronger　than　the　panic　or　the　
desperation　or　the　chagrin；　I　could　remember　that　sensation。　　She'd　been　so　warm　and　so　
soft；　fitting　easily　into　my　own　stone　shape？　
I　wrenched　myself　back　from　the　memory。　
〃But　you　never　told　me—〃　I　said　quickly；　preventing　her　from　arguing　with　me　
about　her　clumsiness；　as　she　clearly　intended　to　do。　　〃Are　you　resolved　on　going　to　
Seattle；　or　do　you　mind　if　we　do　something　different？〃　
Devious—giving　her　a　choice　without　giving　her　the　option　of　getting　away　from　
me　for　the　day。　　Hardly　fair　of　me。　　But　I　had　made　her　a　promise　last　night？and　I　liked　
the　idea　of　fulfilling　it—almost　as　much　as　that　idea　terrified　me。　
The　sun　would　be　shining　Saturday。　　I　could　show　her　the　real　me；　if　I　was　brave　
enough　to　endure　her　horror　and　disgust。　　I　knew　just　the　place　to　take　such　a　risk？　
〃I'm　open　to　alternatives；〃　Bella　said。　　〃But　I　do　have　a　favor　to　ask。〃　
A　qualified　yes。　　What　would　she　want　from　me？　
〃What？〃　
〃Can　I　drive？〃　
Was　this　her　idea　of　humor？　　〃Why？〃　
〃Well；　mostly　because　when　I　told　Charlie　I　was　going　to　Seattle；　he　specifically　
asked　if　I　was　going　alone　and；　at　the　time；　I　was。　　If　he　asked　again；　I　probably　wouldn't　
lie；　but　I　don't　think　he　will　ask　again；　and　leaving　my　truck　at　home　would　just　bring　up　
the　subject　unnecessarily。　　And　also；　because　your　driving　frightens　me。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
242　

I　rolled　my　eyes　at　her。　　〃Of　all　the　things　about　me　that　could　frighten　you；　you　
worry　about　my　driving。〃　　Truly；　her　brain　worked　backwards。　　I　shook　my　head；　
disgusted。　
Edward；　Alice　called　urgently。　
Suddenly　I　was　staring　into　a　bright　circle　of　sunlight；　caught　up　in　one　of　Alice's　
visions。　
It　was　a　place　I　knew　well；　the　place　I'd　just　considered　taking　Bella—a　little　
meadow　where　no　one　ever　went　beside　myself。　　A　quiet；　pretty　place　where　I　could　
count　on　being　alone—far　enough　from　any　trail　or　human　habitation　that　even　my　mind　
could　have　peace　and　quiet。　
Alice　recognized　it；　too；　because　she　had　seen　me　there　not　so　long　ago　in　another　
vision—one　of　those　flickering；　indistinct　visions　that　Alice　had　shown　me　the　morning　
I'd　saved　Bella　from　the　van。　
In　that　flickering　vision；　I　hadn't　been　alone。　　And　now　it　was　clear—Bella　was　
with　me　there。　　So　I　was　brave　enough。　　She　stared　at　me；　rainbows　dancing　across　her　
face；　her　eyes　fathomless。　
It's　the　same　place；　Alice　thought；　her　mind　full　of　a　horror　that　did　not　match　the　
vision。　　Tension；　perhaps；　but　horror？　　What　did　she　mean；　the　same　place？　
And　then　I　saw　it。　
Edward！　　Alice　protested　shrilly。　　I　love　her；　Edward！　
I　shut　her　out　viciously。　
She　didn't　love　Bella　the　way　I　did。　　Her　vision　was　impossible。　　Wrong。　　She　was　
blinded　somehow；　seeing　impossibilities。　
Not　even　a　half　a　second　had　passed。　　Bella　was　looking　curiously　at　my　face；　
waiting　for　me　to　approve　her　request。　　Had　she　seen　the　flash　of　dread；　or　had　it　been　too　
quick　for　her？　
I　focused　on　her；　on　our　unfinished　conversation；　pushing　Alice　and　her　flawed；　
lying　visions　far　from　my　thoughts。　　They　didn't　deserve　my　attention。　
I　wasn't　able　to　keep　up　the　playful　tone　of　our　banter；　though。　
〃Won't　you　want　to　tell　your　father　that　you're　spending　the　day　with　me？〃　I　
asked；　darkness　seeping　into　my　voice。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
243　

I　shoved　at　the　visions　again；　trying　to　push　them　farther　away；　to　keep　them　from　
flickering　through　my　head。　
〃With　Charlie；　less　is　always　more；〃　Bella　said；　certain　of　this　fact。　　〃Where　are　
we　going；　anyway？〃　
Alice　was　wrong。　　Dead　wrong。　　There　was　no　chance　of　that。　　And　it　was　just　an　
old　vision；　invalid　now。　　Things　had　changed。　
〃The　weather　will　be　nice；〃　I　told　her　slowly；　fighting　the　panic　and　indecision。　
Alice　was　wrong。　　I　would　continue　as　if　I　hadn't　heard　or　seen　anything。　　〃So　I'll　be　
staying　out　of　the　public　eye？and　you　can　stay　with　me；　if　you'd　like　to。〃　
Bella　caught　the　significance　at　once；　her　eyes　were　bright　and　eager。　　〃And　
you'll　show　me　what　you　meant；　about　the　sun？〃　
Maybe；　like　so　many　times　before；　her　reaction　would　be　the　opposite　of　what　I　
expected。　　I　smiled　at　that　possibility；　struggling　to　return　to　the　lighter　moment。　　〃Yes。　
But？〃　　She　hadn't　said　yes。　　〃If　you　don't　want　to　be？alone　with　me；　I'd　still　rather　you　
didn't　go　to　Seattle　by　yourself。　　I　shudder　to　think　of　the　trouble　you　could　find　in　a　city　
that　size。〃　
Her　lips　pressed　together；　she　was　offended。　
〃Phoenix　is　three　times　bigger　than　Seattle—just　in　population。　　In　physical　
size—〃　
〃But　apparently　your　number　wasn't　up　in　Phoenix；〃　I　said；　cutting　off　her　
justifications。　　〃So　I'd　rather　you　stayed　with　me。〃　
She　could　stay　forever　and　it　would　not　be　long　enough。　
I　shouldn't　think　that　way。　　We　didn't　have　forever。　　The　passing　seconds　counted　
more　than　they　ever　had　before；　each　second　changed　her　while　I　remained　untouched。　
〃As　it　happens；　I　don't　mind　being　alone　with　you；〃　she　said。　
No—because　her　instincts　were　backwards。　
〃I　know。〃　　I　sighed。　　〃You　should　tell　Charlie；　though。〃　
〃Why　in　the　world　would　I　do　that？〃　she　asked；　sounding　horrified。　
I　glared　at　her；　the　visions　I　couldn't　quite　manage　to　repress　swirling　sickeningly　
through　my　head。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
244　

〃To　give　me　some　small　incentive　to　bring　you　back；〃　I　hissed。　　She　should　give　
me　that　much—one　witness　to　compel　me　to　be　cautious。　
Why　had　Alice　forced　this　knowledge　on　me　now？　
Bella　swallowed　loudly；　and　stared　at　me　for　a　long　moment。　　What　did　she　see？　
〃I　think　I'll　take　my　chances；〃　she　said。　
Ugh！　　Did　she　get　some　thrill　out　of　risking　her　life？　　Some　shot　of　adrenaline　she　
craved？　
I　scowled　at　Alice；　who　met　my　glare　with　a　warning　glance。　　Beside　her；　Rosalie　
was　glowering　furiously；　but　I　couldn't　have　cared　less。　　Let　her　destroy　the　car。　　It　was　
just　a　toy。　
〃Let's　talk　about　something　else；〃　Bella　suggested　suddenly。　
I　looked　back　at　her；　wondering　how　she　could　be　so　oblivious　to　what　really　
mattered。　　Why　wouldn't　she　see　me　for　the　monster　I　was？　
〃What　do　you　want　to　talk　about？〃　
Her　eyes　darted　to　the　left　and　then　the　right；　as　if　checking　to　make　sure　there　
were　no　eavesdroppers。　　She　must　be　planning　to　introduce　another　myth…related　topic。　
Her　eyes　froze　for　a　second　and　her　body　stiffened；　and　then　she　looked　back　to　me。　
〃Why　did　you　go　to　that　Goat　Rocks　place　last　weekend？to　hunt？　　Charlie　said　it　
wasn't　a　good　place　to　hike；　because　of　bears。〃　
So　oblivious。　　I　stared　at　her；　raising　one　eyebrow。　
〃Bears？〃　she　gasped。　
I　smiled　wryly；　watching　that　sink　in。　　Would　this　make　her　take　me　seriously？　
Would　anything？　
She　pulled　her　expression　together。　　〃You　know；　bears　are　not　in　season；〃　she　said　
severely；　narrowing　her　eyes。　
〃If　you　read　carefully；　the　laws　only　cover　hunting　with　weapons。〃　
She　lost　control　over　her　face　again　for　a　moment。　　Her　lips　fell　open。　
〃Bears？〃　she　said　again；　a　tentative　question　this　time　rather　than　a　gasp　of　shock。　
〃Grizzly　is　Emmett's　favorite。〃　
I　watched　her　eyes；　seeing　this　settle　in。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
245　

〃Hmm；〃　she　murmured。　　She　took　a　bite　of　the　pizza；　looking　down。　　She　chewed　
thoughtfully；　and　then　took　a　drink。　
〃So；〃　she　said；　finally　looking　up。　　〃What's　your　favorite？〃　
I　supposed　I　should　have　expected　something　like　that；　but　I　hadn't。　　Bella　was　
always　interesting；　at　the　very　least。　
〃Mountain　lion；〃　I　answered　brusquely。　
〃Ah；〃　she　said　in　a　neutral　tone。　　Her　heartbeat　continued　steady　and　even；　as　if　
we　were　discussing　a　favorite　restaurant。　
Fine；　then。　　If　she　wanted　to　act　like　this　was　nothing　unusual？　
〃Of　course；　we　have　to　be　careful　not　to　impact　the　environment　with　injudicious　
hunting；〃　I　told　her；　my　voice　detached　and　clinical。　　〃We　try　to　focus　on　areas　with　an　
overpopulation　of　predators—ranging　as　far　away　as　we　need。　　There's　always　plenty　of　
deer　and　elk　here；　and　they'll　do；　but　where's　the　fun　in　that？〃　
She　listened　with　a　politely　interested　expression；　as　if　I　were　a　teacher　giving　a　
lecture。　　I　had　to　smile。　
〃Where　indeed；〃　she　murmured　calmly；　taking　another　bite　of　pizza。　
〃Early　spring　is　Emmett's　favorite　bear　season；〃　I　said；　continuing　with　the　
lecture。　　〃They're　just　coming　out　of　hibernation；　so　they're　more　irritable。〃　
Seventy　years　later；　and　he　still　hadn't　gotten　over　losing　that　first　match。　
〃Nothing　more　fun　than　an　irritated　grizzly　bear；〃　Bella　agreed；　nodding　
solemnly。　
I　couldn't　hold　back　a　chuckle　as