5 midnigh+sun-第50节

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Bella　to　arrive。　
Conversely；　once　I　settled　into　my　assigned　seat　in　the　classroom；　I　became　
utterly　still。　　I　had　to　remind　myself　to　fidget　now　and　then。　　To　keep　up　the　charade。　　It　
was　difficult；　my　thoughts　were　so　focused　on　Jessica's。　　I　hoped　she　would　pay　attention；　
really　try　to　read　Bella's　face　for　me。　
Jessica's　tapping　intensified　when　Bella　walked　into　the　room。　
She　looks？glum。　　Why？　　Maybe　there's　nothing　going　on　with　Edward　Cullen。　
That　would　be　a　disappointment。　　Except？then　he's　still　available？　If　he's　suddenly　
interested　in　dating；　I　don't　mind　helping　out　with　that？　
Bella's　face　didn't　look　glum；　it　looked　reluctant。　　She　was　worried—she　knew　I　
would　hear　all　of　this。　　I　smiled　to　myself。　
〃Tell　me　everything！〃　Jess　demanded　while　Bella　was　still　removing　her　jacket　to　
hang　it　on　the　back　of　her　seat。　　She　was　moving　with　deliberation；　unwilling。　
Ugh；　she's　so　slow。　　Let's　get　to　the　juicy　stuff！　
〃What　do　you　want　to　know？〃　Bella　stalled　as　she　took　her　seat。　
〃What　happened　last　night？〃　
〃He　bought　me　dinner；　and　then　he　drove　me　home。〃　
And　then？　　C'mon；　there　has　to　be　more　than　that！　　She's　lying　anyway；　I　know　
that。　　I'm　going　to　call　her　on　it。　
〃How　did　you　get　home　so　fast？〃　
I　watched　Bella　roll　her　eyes　at　the　suspicious　Jessica。　
〃He　drives　like　a　maniac。　　It　was　terrifying。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
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She　smiled　a　tiny　smile；　and　I　laughed　out　loud；　interrupting　Mr。　Mason's　
announcements。　　I　tried　to　turn　the　laugh　into　a　cough；　but　no　one　was　fooled。　　Mr。　Mason　
shot　me　an　irritated　look；　but　I　didn't　even　bother　to　listen　to　the　thought　behind　it。　　I　was　
hearing　Jessica。　
Huh。　　She　sounds　like　she's　telling　the　truth。　　Why　is　she　making　me　pull　this　out　
of　her；　word　by　word？　　I　would　be　bragging　at　the　top　of　my　lungs　if　it　were　me。　
〃Was　it　like　a　date—did　you　tell　him　to　meet　you　there？〃　
Jessica　watched　surprise　cross　Bella's　expression；　and　was　disappointed　at　how　
genuine　it　seemed。　
〃No—I　was　very　surprised　to　see　him　there；〃　Bella　told　her。　
What　is　going　on？？　　〃But　he　picked　you　up　for　school　today？〃　　There　has　to　be　
more　to　the　story。　
〃Yes—that　was　a　surprise；　too。　　He　noticed　I　didn't　have　a　jacket　last　night。〃　
That's　not　very　much　fun；　Jessica　thought；　disappointed　again。　
I　was　tired　of　her　line　of　questioning—I　wanted　to　hear　something　I　didn't　already　
know。　　I　hoped　she　wasn't　so　dissatisfied　that　she　would　skip　the　questions　I　was　waiting　
for。　
〃So　are　you　going　out　again？〃　　Jessica　demanded。　
〃He　offered　to　drive　me　to　Seattle　Saturday　because　he　thinks　my　truck　isn't　up　to　
it—does　that　count？〃　
Hmm。　　He　sure　is　going　out　of　his　way　to？well；　take　care　of　her；　sort　of。　　There　
must　be　something　there　on　his　side；　if　not　on　hers。　　How　could　THAT　be？　　Bella's　crazy。　
〃Yes；〃　Jessica　answered　Bella's　question。　
〃Well；　then；〃　Bella　concluded。　　〃Yes。〃　
〃Wow？Edward　Cullen。〃　　Whether　she　likes　him　or　not；　this　is　major。　
〃I　know；〃　Bella　sighed。　
The　tone　of　her　voice　encouraged　Jessica。　　Finally—she　sounds　like　she　gets　it！　
She　must　realize？　
〃Wait！〃　Jessica　said；　suddenly　remembering　her　most　vital　question。　　〃Has　he　
kissed　you？〃　　Please　say　yes。　　And　then　describe　every　second！　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
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〃No；〃　Bella　mumbled；　and　then　she　looked　down　at　her　hands；　her　face　falling。　
〃It's　not　like　that。〃　
Damn。　　I　wish？　　Ha。　　Looks　like　she　does　to。　
I　frowned。　　Bella　did　look　upset　about　something；　but　it　couldn't　be　
disappointment　like　Jessica　assumed。　　She　couldn't　want　that。　　Not　knowing　what　she　
knew。　　She　couldn't　want　to　be　that　close　to　my　teeth。　　For　all　she　knew；　I　had　fangs。　
I　shuddered。　
〃Do　you　think　Saturday？？〃　　Jessica　prodded。　
Bella　looked　even　more　frustrated　as　she　said；　〃I　really　doubt　it。〃　
Yeah；　she　does　wish。　　That　sucks　for　her。　
Was　it　because　I　was　watching　all　this　through　the　filter　of　Jessica's　perceptions　
that　it　seemed　like　Jessica　was　right？　
For　a　half…second　I　was　distracted　by　the　idea；　the　impossibility；　of　what　it　would　
be　like　to　try　to　kiss　her。　　My　lips　to　her　lips；　cold　stone　to　warm；　yielding　silk？　
And　then　she　dies。　
I　shook　my　head；　wincing；　and　made　myself　pay　attention。　
〃What　did　you　talk　about？〃　　Did　you　talk　to　him；　or　did　you　make　him　drag　every　
ounce　of　information　out　of　you　like　this？　
I　smiled　ruefully。　　Jessica　wasn't　far　off。　
〃I　don't　know；　Jess；　lots　of　stuff。　　We　talked　about　the　English　essay　a　little。〃　
A　very　little。　　I　smiled　wider。　
Oh；　c'MON。　　〃Please；　Bella！　　Give　me　some　details。〃　
Bella　deliberated　for　a　moment。　
〃Well？okay；　I've　got　one。　　You　should　have　seen　the　waitress　flirting　with　him—　
it　was　over　the　top。　　But　he　didn't　pay　any　attention　to　her　at　all。〃　
What　a　strange　detail　to　share。　　I　was　surprised　Bella　had　even　noticed。　　It　seemed　
a　very　inconsequential　thing。　
Interesting？　　〃That's　a　good　sign。　　Was　she　pretty？〃　
Hmm。　　Jessica　thought　more　of　it　that　I　did。　　Must　be　a　female　thing。　
〃Very；〃　Bella　told　her。　　〃And　probably　nineteen　or　twenty。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
230　

Jessica　was　momentarily　distracted　by　a　memory　of　Mike　on　her　date　Monday　
night—Mike　being　a　little　too　friendly　with　a　waitress　who　Jessica　did　not　consider　pretty　
at　all。　　She　shoved　the　memory　away　and　returned；　stifling　her　irritation；　to　her　quest　for　
details。　
〃Even　better。　　He　must　like　you。〃　
〃I　think　so；〃　Bella　said　slowly；　and　I　was　on　the　edge　of　my　seat；　my　body　rigidly　
still。　　〃But　it's　hard　to　tell。　　He's　always　so　cryptic。〃　
I　must　not　have　been　as　transparently　obvious　and　out　of　control　as　I'd　thought。　
Still？observant　as　she　was？　　How　could　she　not　realize　that　I　was　in　love　with　her？　　I　
sifted　through　our　conversation；　almost　surprised　that　I　hadn't　said　the　words　out　loud。　　It　
had　felt　like　that　knowledge　had　been　the　subtext　of　every　word　between　us。　
Wow。　　How　do　you　sit　there　across　from　a　male　model　and　make　conversation？　
〃I　don't　know　how　you're　brave　enough　to　be　alone　with　him；〃　Jessica　said。　
Shock　flashed　across　Bella's　face。　　〃Why？〃　
Weird　reaction。　　What　does　she　think　I　meant？　　〃He's　so？〃　　What's　the　right　
word？　　〃Intimidating。　　I　wouldn't　know　what　to　say　to　him。〃　　I　couldn't　even　speak　
English　to　him　today；　and　all　he　said　was　good　morning。　　I　must　have　sounded　like　such　
an　idiot。　
Bella　smiled。　　〃I　do　have　some　trouble　with　incoherency　when　I'm　around　him。〃　
She　must　be　trying　to　make　Jessica　feel　better。　　She　was　almost　unnaturally　self…　
possessed　when　we　were　together。　
〃Oh　well；〃　Jessica　sighed。　　〃He　is　unbelievably　gorgeous。〃　
Bella's　face　was　suddenly　colder。　　Her　eyes　flashed　the　same　way　they　did　when　
she　resented　some　injustice。　　Jessica　didn't　process　the　change　in　her　expression。　
〃There's　a　lot　more　to　him　than　that；〃　Bella　snapped。　
Oooh。　　Now　we're　getting　somewhere。　　〃Really？　　Like　what？〃　
Bella　gnawed　her　lip　for　a　moment。　　〃I　can't　explain　it　right；〃　she　finally　said。　
〃But　he's　even　more　unbelievable　behind　the　face。〃　　　She　looked　away　from　Jessica；　her　
eyes　slightly　unfocused　as　if　she　was　staring　at　something　very　far　away。　
The　feeling　I　felt　now　was　loosely　similar　to　how　it　felt　when　Carlisle　or　Esme　
praised　me　beyond　what　I　deserved。　　Similar；　but　more　intense；　more　consuming。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
231　

Sell　stupid　somewhere　else—there's　nothing　better　than　that　face！　　Unless　it's　his　
body。　　Swoon。　　〃Is　that　possible？〃　　Jessica　giggled。　
Bella　didn't　turn。　　She　continued　to　stare　into　the　distance；　ignoring　Jessica。　
A　normal　person　would　be　gloating。　　Maybe　if　I　keep　the　questions　simple。　　Ha　ha。　
Like　I'm　talking　to　a　kindergartener。　〃So　you　like　him；　then？〃　
I　was　rigid　again。　
Bella　didn't　look　at　Jessica。　　〃Yes。〃　
〃I　mean；　do　you　really　like　him？〃　
〃Yes。〃　
Look　at　that　blush！　
I　was。　
〃How　much　do　you　like　him？〃　Jessica　demanded。　
The　English　room　could　have　gone　up　in　flames　and　I　wouldn't　have　noticed。　
Bella's　face　was　bright　red　now—I　could　almost　feel　the　heat　from　the　mental　
picture。　
〃Too　much；〃　she　whispered。　　〃More　than　he　likes　me。　　But　I　don't　see　how　I　can　
help　that。〃　
Shoot！　　What　did　Mr。　Varner　just　ask？　　〃Um—which　number；　Mr。　Varner？〃　
It　was　good　that　Jessica　could　no　longer　quiz　Bella。　　I　needed　a　minute。　
What　on　earth　was　that　girl　thinking　now？　　More　than　he　likes　me？　　How　did　she　
come　up　with　that？　　But　I　don't　see　how　I　can　help　that？　　What　was　that　supposed　to　
mean？　　I　couldn't　fit　a　rational　explanation　to　the　words。　　They　were　practically　senseless。　
It　seemed　I　couldn't　take　anything　for　granted。　　Obvious　things；　things　that　made　
perfect　sense；　somehow　got　twisted　up　and　turned　backwards　in　that　bizarre　brain　of　hers。　
More　than　he　likes　me？　　Maybe　I　shouldn't　rule　out　the　institution　just　yet。　
I　glared　at　the　clock；　gritting　my　teeth。　　How　could　mere　minutes　feel　so　
impossibly　long　to　an　immortal？　　Where　was　my　perspective？　
My　jaw　was　tight　throughout　Mr。　Varner's　entire　trigonometry　lesson。　　I　heard　
more　of　that　than　the　lecture　in　my　own　class。　　Bella　and　Jessica　didn't　speak　again；　but　
Jessica　peeked　at　Bella　several　times；　and　once　her　face　was　brilliant　scarlet　again　for　no　
apparent　reason。　
？　2008　Stepheni