5 midnigh+sun-第43节

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I　looked　down　at　her；　frowning。　　She　was　stalling；　too。　
〃Which　one？〃　
〃How　does　it　work—the　mind　reading　thing？〃　she　asked；　reiterating　her　question　
from　the　restaurant。　　〃Can　you　read　anybody's　mind；　anywhere？　　How　do　you　do　it？　　Can　
the　rest　of　your　family？？〃　　She　trailed　off；　flushing　again。　
〃That's　more　than　one；〃　I　said。　
She　just　looked　at　me；　waiting　for　her　answers。　
And　why　not　tell　her？　　She'd　already　guessed　most　of　this；　and　it　was　an　easier　
subject　that　the　one　that　loomed。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
196　

〃No；　it's　just　me。　　And　I　can't　hear　anyone；　anywhere。　　I　have　to　be　fairly　close。　
The　more　familiar　someone's？'voice'　is；　the　farther　away　I　can　hear　them。　　But　still；　no　
more　than　a　few　miles。〃　　I　tried　to　think　of　a　way　to　describe　it　so　that　she　would　
understand。　　An　analogy　that　she　could　relate　to。　〃It's　a　little　like　being　in　a　huge　hall　
filled　with　people；　everyone　talking　at　once。　　It's　just　a　hum—a　buzzing　of　voices　in　the　
background。　　Until　I　focus　on　one　voice；　and　then　what　they're　thinking　is　clear。　　Most　of　
the　time　I　tune　it　all　out—it　can　be　very　distracting。　　And　then　it's　easier　to　seem　normal；〃　
—I　grimaced—　〃when　I'm　not　accidentally　answering　someone's　thoughts　rather　than　
their　words。〃　
〃Why　do　you　think　you　can't　hear　me？〃　she　wondered。　
I　gave　her　another　truth　and　another　analogy。　
〃I　don't　know；〃　I　admitted。　　〃The　only　guess　I　have　is　that　maybe　your　mind　
doesn't　work　the　same　way　the　rest　of　theirs　do。　　Like　your　thoughts　are　on　the　AM　
frequency　and　I'm　only　getting　FM。〃　
I　realized　that　she　would　not　like　this　analogy。　　The　anticipation　of　her　reaction　
had　me　smiling。　　She　didn't　disappoint。　
〃My　mind　doesn't　work　right？〃　she　asked；　her　voice　rising　with　chagrin。　　〃I'm　a　
freak？〃　
Ah；　the　irony　again。　
〃I　hear　voices　in　my　mind　and　you're　worried　that　you're　the　freak。〃　　I　laughed。　
She　understood　all　the　small　things；　and　yet　the　big　ones　she　got　backwards。　　Always　the　
wrong　instincts？　
Bella　was　gnawing　on　her　lip；　and　the　crease　between　her　eyes　was　etched　deep。　
〃Don't　worry；〃　I　reassured　her。　　〃It's　just　a　theory？〃　　And　there　was　a　more　
important　theory　to　be　discussed。　　I　was　anxious　to　get　it　over　with。　　Each　passing　second　
was　beginning　to　feel　more　and　more　like　borrowed　time。　
〃Which　brings　us　back　to　you；〃　I　said；　divided　in　two；　both　anxious　and　reluctant。　
She　sighed；　still　chewing　her　lip—I　worried　that　she　would　hurt　herself。　　She　
stared　into　my　eyes；　her　face　troubled。　
〃Aren't　we　past　all　the　evasions　now？〃　　I　asked　quietly。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
197　

She　looked　down；　struggling　with　some　internal　dilemma。　　Suddenly；　she　
stiffened　and　her　eyes　flew　wide　open。　　Fear　flashed　across　her　face　for　the　first　time。　
〃Holy　crow！〃　she　gasped。　
I　panicked。　　What　had　she　seen？　　How　had　I　frightened　her？　
Then　she　shouted；　〃Slow　down！〃　
〃What's　wrong？〃　　I　didn't　understand　where　her　terror　was　coming　from。　
〃You're　going　a　hundred　miles　an　hour！〃　she　yelled　at　me。　　She　flashed　a　look　out　
the　window；　and　recoiled　from　the　dark　trees　racing　past　us。　
This　little　thing；　just　a　bit　of　speed；　had　her　shouting　in　fear？　
I　rolled　my　eyes。　　〃Relax；　Bella。〃　
〃Are　you　trying　to　kill　us？〃　she　demanded；　her　voice　high　and　tight。　
〃We're　not　going　to　crash；〃　I　promised　her。　
She　sucked　in　a　sharp　breath；　and　then　spoke　in　a　slightly　more　level　tone。　　〃Why　
are　you　in　such　a　hurry？〃　
〃I　always　drive　like　this。〃　
I　met　her　gaze；　amused　by　her　shocked　expression。　
〃Keep　your　eyes　on　the　road！〃　she　shouted。　
〃I've　never　been　in　an　accident；　Bella。　　I've　never　even　gotten　a　ticket。〃　　I　grinned　
at　her　and　touched　my　forehead。　　It　made　it　even　more　comical—the　absurdity　of　being　
able　to　joke　with　her　about　something　so　secret　and　strange。　　〃Built　in　radar　detector。〃　
〃Very　funny；〃　she　said　sarcastically；　her　voice　more　frightened　than　angry。　
〃Charlie's　a　cop；　remember？　　I　was　raised　to　abide　by　traffic　laws。　　Besides；　if　you　turn　us　
into　a　Volvo　pretzel　around　a　tree　trunk；　you　can　probably　just　walk　away。〃　
〃Probably；〃　I　repeated；　and　than　laughed　without　humor。　　Yes；　we　would　fare　
quite　differently　in　a　car　accident。　　She　was　right　to　be　afraid；　despite　my　driving　
abilities？　　〃But　you　can't。〃　
With　a　sigh；　I　let　the　car　drift　to　a　crawl。　　〃Happy？〃　
She　eyed　the　speedometer。　　〃Almost。〃　
Was　this　still　too　fast　for　her？　　〃I　hate　driving　slow；〃　I　muttered；　but　let　the　needle　
slide　another　notch　down。　
〃This　is　slow？〃　she　asked。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
198　

〃Enough　commentary　on　my　driving；〃　I　said　impatiently。　　How　many　times　had　
she　dodged　my　question　now？　　Three　times？　　Four？　　Were　her　speculations　that　horrific？　
I　had　to　know—immediately。　　〃I'm　still　waiting　for　your　latest　theory。〃　
She　bit　her　lip　again；　and　her　expression　became　upset；　almost　pained。　
I　reigned　in　my　impatience　and　softened　my　voice。　　I　didn't　want　her　to　be　
distressed。　
〃I　won't　laugh；〃　I　promised；　wishing　that　it　was　only　embarrassment　that　made　
her　unwilling　to　talk。　
〃I'm　more　afraid　that　you'll　be　angry　with　me；〃　she　whispered。　
I　forced　my　voice　to　stay　even。　　〃Is　it　that　bad？〃　
〃Pretty　much；　yeah。〃　
She　looked　down；　refusing　to　meet　my　eyes。　　The　seconds　passed。　
〃Go　ahead；〃　I　encouraged。　
Her　voice　was　small。　　〃I　don't　know　how　to　start。〃　
〃Why　don't　you　start　at　the　beginning？〃　　I　remembered　her　words　before　dinner。　
〃You　said　you　didn't　come　up　with　this　on　your　own。〃　
〃No；〃　she　agreed；　and　then　was　silent　again。　
I　thought　about　things　that　might　have　inspired　her。　　〃What　got　you　started—a　
book？　　A　movie？〃　
I　should　have　looked　through　her　collections　when　she　was　out　of　the　house。　　I　
had　no　idea　if　Bram　Stoker　or　Anne　Rice　was　there　in　her　stack　of　worn　paperbacks？　
〃No；〃　she　said　again。　　〃It　was　Saturday；　at　the　beach。〃　
I　hadn't　expected　that。　　The　local　gossip　about　us　had　never　strayed　into　anything　
too　bizarre—or　too　precise。　　Was　there　a　new　rumor　I'd　missed？　　Bella　peeked　up　from　
her　hands　and　saw　the　surprise　on　my　face。　
〃I　ran　into　an　old　family　friend—Jacob　Black；〃　she　went　on。　　〃His　dad　and　
Charlie　have　been　friends　since　I　was　a　baby。〃　
Jacob　Black—the　name　was　not　familiar；　and　yet　it　reminded　me　of　
something？some　time；　long　ago？　　I　stared　out　of　the　windshield；　flipping　through　
memories　to　find　the　connection。　
〃His　dad　is　one　of　the　Quileute　elders；〃　she　said。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
199　

Jacob　Black。　　Ephraim　Black。　　A　descendant；　no　doubt。　
It　was　as　bad　as　it　could　get。　
She　knew　the　truth。　
My　mind　was　flying　through　the　ramifications　as　the　car　flew　around　the　dark　
curves　in　the　road；　my　body　rigid　with　anguish—motionless　except　for　the　small；　
automatic　actions　it　took　to　steer　the　car。　
She　knew　the　truth。　
But？if　she'd　learned　the　truth　Saturday？then　she'd　known　it　all　evening　
long？and　yet？　
〃We　went　for　a　walk；〃　she　went　on。　　〃And　he　was　telling　me　about　some　old　
legends—trying　to　scare　me；　I　think。　　He　told　me　one？〃　
She　stopped　short；　but　there　was　no　need　for　her　qualms　now；　I　knew　what　she　
was　going　to　say。　　The　only　mystery　left　was　why　she　was　here　with　me　now。　
〃Go　on；〃　I　said。　
〃About　vampires；〃　she　breathed；　the　words　less　than　a　whisper。　
Somehow；　it　was　even　worse　than　knowing　that　she　knew；　hearing　her　speak　the　
word　aloud。　　I　flinched　at　the　sound　of　it；　and　then　controlled　myself　again。　
〃And　you　immediately　thought　of　me？〃　I　asked。　
〃No。　　He？mentioned　your　family。〃　
How　ironic　that　it　would　be　Ephraim's　own　progeny　that　would　violate　the　treaty　
he'd　vowed　to　uphold。　　A　grandson；　or　great…grandson　perhaps。　　How　many　years　had　it　
been？　　Seventy？　
I　should　have　realized　that　it　was　not　the　old　men　who　believed　in　the　legends　that　
would　be　the　danger。　　Of　course；　the　younger　generation—those　who　would　have　been　
warned；　but　would　have　thought　the　ancient　superstitions　laughable—of　course　that　was　
where　the　danger　of　exposure　would　lie。　
I　supposed　this　meant　I　was　now　free　to　slaughter　the　small；　defenseless　tribe　on　
the　coastline；　were　I　so　inclined。　　Ephraim　and　his　pack　of　protectors　were　long　dead？　
〃He　just　thought　it　was　a　silly　superstition；〃　Bella　said　suddenly；　her　voice　edged　
with　a　new　anxiety。　　〃He　didn't　expect　me　to　think　anything　of　it。〃　
Out　of　the　corner　of　my　eye；　I　saw　her　twist　her　hands　uneasily。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
200　

〃It　was　my　fault；〃　she　said　after　a　brief　pause；　and　then　she　hung　her　head　as　if　she　
were　ashamed。　　〃I　forced　him　to　tell　me。〃　
〃Why？〃　　It　wasn't　so　hard　to　keep　my　voice　level　now。　　The　worst　was　already　
done。　　As　long　as　we　spoke　of　the　details　of　the　revelation；　we　didn't　have　to　move　on　to　
the　consequences　of　it。　
〃Lauren　said　something　about　you—she　was　trying　to　provoke　me。〃　　She　made　a　
little　face　at　the　memory。　　I　was　slightly　distracted；　wondering　how　Bella　would　be　
provoked　by　someone　talking　about　me？　　〃And　an　older　boy　from　the　tribe　said　your　
family　didn't　come　to　the　reservation；　only　it　sounded　like　he　meant　something　different。　
So　I　got　Jacob　alone　and　I　tricked　it　out　of　him。〃　
Her　head　dropped　even　lower　as　she　admitted　this；　and　her　expression　
looked？guilty。　
I　looked　away　from