5 midnigh+sun-第18节
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know the direction he's headed。
I concentrated on relaxing； and I felt Emmett's hand loosen。
Try not to make more of a spectacle of yourself。 You're in enough trouble as it is。
I took a deep breath and Emmett released me。
I searched around the room routinely； but our confrontation had been so short and
silent that only a few people sitting behind Emmett had even noticed。 None of them
knew what to make of it； and they shrugged it off。 The Cullens were freaks—everyone
knew that already。
Damn； kid； you're a mess； Emmett added； sympathy in his tone。
〃Bite me；〃 I muttered under my breath； and I heard his low chuckle。
Emmett didn't hold grudges； and I probably ought to be more grateful for his easy
going nature。 But I could see that Jasper's intentions made sense to Emmett； that he was
considering how it might be the best course of action。
The rage simmered； barely under control。 Yes； Emmett was stronger than I was；
but he'd yet to beat me in a wrestling match。 He claimed that this was because I cheated；
but hearing thoughts was just as much a part of who I was as his immense strength was a
part of him。 We were evenly matched in a fight。
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A fight？ Was that where this was headed？ Was I going to fight with my family
over a human I barely knew？
I thought about that for a moment； thought about the fragile feel of the girl's body
in my arms in juxtaposition with Jasper； Rose； and Emmett—supernaturally strong and
fast； killing machines by nature？
Yes； I would fight for her。 Against my family。 I shuddered。
But it wasn't fair to leave her undefended when I was the one who'd put her in
danger。
I couldn't win alone； though； not against the three of them； and I wondered who
my allies would be。
Carlisle； certainly。 He would not fight anyone； but he would be wholly against
Rose's and Jasper's designs。 That might be all I needed。 I would see？
Esme； doubtful。 She would not side against me either； and she would hate to
disagree with Carlisle； but she would be for any plan that kept her family intact。 Her first
priority would not be rightness； but me。 If Carlisle was the soul of our family； then Esme
was the heart。 He gave us a leader who deserved following； she made that following into
an act of love。 We all loved each other—even under the fury I felt toward Jasper and
Rose right now； even planning to fight them to save the girl； I knew that I loved them。
Alice？I had no idea。 It would probably depend on what she saw coming。 She
would side with the winner； I imagined。
So； I would have to do this without help。 I wasn't a match for them alone； but I
wasn't going to let the girl be hurt because of me。 That might mean evasive action？
My rage dulled a bit with the sudden； black humor。 I could imagine how the girl
would react to my kidnapping her。 Of course； I rarely guessed her reactions right—but
what other reaction could she have besides terror？
I wasn't sure how to manage that； though—kidnapping her。 I wouldn't be able to
stand being close to her for very long。 Perhaps I would just deliver her back to her
mother。 Even that much would be fraught with danger。 For her。
And also for me； I realized suddenly。 If I were to kill her by accident？ I wasn't
certain exactly how much pain that would cause me； but I knew it would be multifaceted
and intense。
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The time passed quickly while I mulled over all the complications ahead of me：
the argument waiting for me at home； the conflict with my family； the lengths I might be
forced to go to afterward？
Well； I couldn't complain that life outside this school was monotonous any more。
The girl had changed that much。
Emmett and I walked silently to the car when the bell rang。 He was worrying
about me； and worrying about Rosalie。 He knew whose side he would have to choose in
a quarrel； and it bothered him。
The others were waiting for us in the car； also silent。 We were a very quiet group。
Only I could hear the shouting。
Idiot！ Lunatic！ Moron！ Jackass！ Selfish； irresponsible fool！ Rosalie kept up a
constant stream of insults at the top of her mental lungs。 It made it hard to hear the
others； but I ignored her as best I could。
Emmett was right about Jasper。 He was sure of his course。
Alice was troubled； worrying about Jasper； flipping through images of the future。
No matter which direction Jasper came at the girl； Alice always saw me there； blocking
him。 Interesting？neither Rosalie nor Emmett was with him in these visions。 So Jasper
planned to work alone。 That would even things up。
Jasper was the best； certainly the most experienced fighter among us。 My one
advantage lay in that I could hear his moves before he made them。
I had never fought more than playfully with Emmett or Jasper—just horsing
around。 I felt sick at the thought of really trying to hurt Jasper？
No； not that。 Just to block him。 That was all。
I concentrated on Alice； memorizing Jasper's different avenues of attack。
As I did that； her visions shifted； moving further and further away from the
Swan's house。 I was cutting him off earlier？
Stop that； Edward！ It can't happen this way。 I won't let it。
I didn't answer her； I just kept watching。
She began searching farther ahead； into the misty； unsure realm of distant
possibilities。 Everything was shadowy and vague。
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The entire way home； the charged silence did not lift。 I parked in the big garage
off the house； Carlisle's Mercedes was there； next to Emmett's big jeep； Rose's M3 and
my Vanquish。 I was glad Carlisle was already home—this silence would end
explosively； and I wanted him there when that happened。
We went straight to the dining room。
The room was； of course； never used for its intended purpose。 But it was
furnished with a long oval mahogany table surrounded by chairs—we were scrupulous
about having all the correct props in place。 Carlisle liked to use it as a conference room。
In a group with such strong and disparate personalities； sometimes it was necessary to
discuss things in a calm； seated manner。
I had a feeling that the setting was not going to help much today。
Carlisle sat in his usual seat at the eastern head of the room。 Esme was beside
him—they held hands on top of the table。
Esme's eyes were on me； their golden depths full of concern。
Stay。 It was her only thought。
I wished I could smile at the woman who was truly a mother to me； but I had no
reassurances for her now。
I sat on Carlisle's other side。 Esme reached around him to put her free hand on
my shoulder。 She had no idea of what was about to start； she was just worrying about
me。
Carlisle had a better sense of what was coming。 His lips were pressed tightly
together and his forehead was creased。 The expression looked too old for his young face。
As everyone else sat； I could see the lines being drawn。
Rosalie sat directly across from Carlisle； on the other end of the long table。 She
glared at me； never looking away。
Emmett sat beside her； his face and thoughts both wry。
Jasper hesitated； and then went to stand against the wall behind Rosalie。 He was
decided； regardless of the outcome of this discussion。 My teeth locked together。
Alice was the last to come in； and her eyes were focused on something far away—
the future； still too indistinct for her to make use of it。 Without seeming to think about it；
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she sat next to Esme。 She rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache。 Jasper twitched
uneasily and considered joining her； but he kept his place。
I took a deep breath。 I had started this—I should speak first。
〃I'm sorry；〃 I said； looking first at Rose； then Jasper and then Emmett。 〃I didn't
mean to put any of you at risk。 It was thoughtless； and I take full responsibility for my
hasty action。〃
Rosalie glared at me balefully。 〃What do you mean； 'take full responsibility'？
Are you going to fix it？〃
〃Not the way you mean；〃 I said； working to keep my voice even and quiet。 〃I'm
willing to leave now； if that makes things better。〃 If I believe that the girl will be safe； if I
believe that none of you will touch her； I amended in my head。
〃No；〃 Esme murmured。 〃No； Edward。〃
I patted her hand。 〃It's just a few years。〃
〃Esme's right； though；〃 Emmett said。 〃You can't go anywhere now。 That would
be the opposite of helpful。 We have to know what people are thinking； now more than
ever。〃
〃Alice will catch anything major；〃 I disagreed。
Carlisle shook his head。 〃I think Emmett is right； Edward。 The girl will be more
likely to talk if you disappear。 It's all of us leave； or none of us。〃
〃She won't say anything；〃 I insisted quickly。 Rose was building up to the
explosion； and I wanted this fact out there first。
〃You don't know her mind；〃 Carlisle reminded me。
〃I know this much。 Alice； back me up。〃
Alice stared up at me wearily。 〃I can't see what will happen if we just ignore
this。〃 She glanced at Rose and Jasper。
No； she couldn't see that future—not when Rosalie and Jasper were so deci
