5 midnigh+sun-第1节

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1。　　First　Sight　
This　was　the　time　of　day　when　I　wished　I　were　able　to　sleep。　
High　school。　
Or　was　purgatory　the　right　word？　　If　there　was　any　way　to　atone　for　my　sins；　this　
ought　to　count　toward　the　tally　in　some　measure。　　The　tedium　was　not　something　I　grew　
used　to；　every　day　seemed　more　impossibly　monotonous　than　the　last。　
I　suppose　this　was　my　form　of　sleep—if　sleep　was　defined　as　the　inert　state　
between　active　periods。　
I　stared　at　the　cracks　running　through　the　plaster　in　the　far　corner　of　the　cafeteria；　
imagining　patterns　into　them　that　were　not　there。　　It　was　one　way　to　tune　out　the　voices　
that　babbled　like　the　gush　of　a　river　inside　my　head。　
Several　hundred　of　these　voices　I　ignored　out　of　boredom。　
When　it　came　to　the　human　mind；　I'd　heard　it　all　before　and　then　some。　　Today；　
all　thoughts　were　consumed　with　the　trivial　drama　of　a　new　addition　to　the　small　student　
body　here。　　It　took　so　little　to　work　them　all　up。　　I'd　seen　the　new　face　repeated　in　thought　
after　thought　from　every　angle。　　Just　an　ordinary　human　girl。　　The　excitement　over　her　
arrival　was　tiresomely　predictable—like　flashing　a　shiny　object　at　a　child。　　Half　the　
sheep…like　males　were　already　imagining　themselves　in　love　with　her；　just　because　she　
was　something　new　to　look　at。　　I　tried　harder　to　tune　them　out。　
Only　four　voices　did　I　block　out　of　courtesy　rather　than　distaste：　my　family；　my　
two　brothers　and　two　sisters；　who　were　so　used　to　the　lack　of　privacy　in　my　presence　that　
they　rarely　gave　it　a　thought。　　I　gave　them　what　privacy　I　could。　　I　tried　not　to　listen　if　I　
could　help　it。　
Try　as　I　may；　still？I　knew。　
Rosalie　was　thinking；　as　usual；　about　herself。　　She'd　caught　sight　of　her　profile　in　
the　reflection　off　someone's　glasses；　and　she　was　mulling　over　her　own　perfection。　
Rosalie's　mind　was　a　shallow　pool　with　few　surprises。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
2　

Emmett　was　fuming　over　a　wrestling　match　he'd　lost　to　Jasper　during　the　night。　　It　
would　take　all　his　limited　patience　to　make　it　to　the　end　of　the　school　day　to　orchestrate　a　
rematch。　　I　never　really　felt　intrusive　hearing　Emmett's　thoughts；　because　he　never　
thought　one　thing　that　he　would　not　say　aloud　or　put　into　action。　　Perhaps　I　only　felt　
guilty　reading　the　others'　minds　because　I　knew　there　were　things　there　that　they　
wouldn't　want　me　to　know。　　If　Rosalie's　mind　was　a　shallow　pool；　then　Emmett's　was　a　
lake　with　no　shadows；　glass　clear。　
And　Jasper　was？suffering。　　I　suppressed　a　sigh。　
Edward。　　Alice　called　my　name　in　her　head；　and　had　my　attention　at　once。　
It　was　just　the　same　as　having　my　name　called　aloud。　　I　was　glad　my　given　name　
had　fallen　out　of　style　lately—it　had　been　annoying；　anytime　anyone　thought　of　any　
Edward；　my　head　would　turn　automatically？　
My　head　didn't　turn　now。　　Alice　and　I　were　good　at　these　private　conversations。　
It　was　rare　that　anyone　caught　us。　　I　kept　my　eyes　on　the　lines　in　the　plaster。　
How　is　he　holding　up？　she　asked　me。　
I　frowned；　just　a　small　change　in　the　set　of　my　mouth。　　Nothing　that　would　tip　the　
others　off。　　I　could　easily　be　frowning　out　of　boredom。　
Alice's　mental　tone　was　alarmed　now；　and　I　saw　in　her　mind　that　she　was　
watching　Jasper　in　her　peripheral　vision。　　Is　there　any　danger？　　She　searched　ahead；　into　
the　immediate　future；　skimming　through　visions　of　monotony　for　the　source　behind　my　
frown。　
I　turned　my　head　slowly　to　the　left；　as　if　looking　at　the　bricks　of　the　wall；　sighed；　
and　then　to　the　right；　back　to　the　cracks　in　the　ceiling。　　Only　Alice　knew　I　was　shaking　
my　head。　
She　relaxed。　　Let　me　know　if　it　gets　too　bad。　
I　moved　only　my　eyes；　up　to　the　ceiling　above；　and　back　down。　
Thanks　for　doing　this。　
I　was　glad　I　couldn't　answer　her　aloud。　　What　would　I　say？　　'My　pleasure'？　　It　
was　hardly　that。　　I　didn't　enjoy　listening　to　Jasper's　struggles。　　Was　it　really　necessary　to　
experiment　like　this？　　Wouldn't　the　safer　path　be　to　just　admit　that　he　might　never　be　able　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
3　

to　handle　the　thirst　the　way　the　rest　of　us　could；　and　not　push　his　limits？　　Why　flirt　with　
disaster？　
It　had　been　two　weeks　since　our　last　hunting　trip。　　That　was　not　an　immensely　
difficult　time　span　for　the　rest　of　us。　　A　little　uncomfortable　occasionally—if　a　human　
walked　too　close；　if　the　wind　blew　the　wrong　way。　　But　humans　rarely　walked　too　close。　
Their　instincts　told　them　what　their　conscious　minds　would　never　understand：　we　were　
dangerous。　
Jasper　was　very　dangerous　right　now。　
At　that　moment；　a　small　girl　paused　at　the　end　of　the　closest　table　to　ours；　
stopping　to　talk　to　a　friend。　　She　tossed　her　short；　sandy　hair；　running　her　fingers　through　
it。　　The　heaters　blew　her　scent　in　our　direction。　　I　was　used　to　the　way　that　scent　made　me　
feel—the　dry　ache　in　my　throat；　the　hollow　yearn　in　my　stomach；　the　automatic　
tightening　of　my　muscles；　the　excess　flow　of　venom　in　my　mouth？　
This　was　all　quite　normal；　usually　easy　to　ignore。　　It　was　harder　just　now；　with　the　
feelings　stronger；　doubled；　as　I　monitored　Jasper's　reaction。　　Twin　thirsts；　rather　than　just　
mine。　
Jasper　was　letting　his　imagination　get　away　from　him。　　He　was　picturing　it—　
picturing　himself　getting　up　from　his　seat　next　to　Alice　and　going　to　stand　beside　the　little　
girl。　　Thinking　of　leaning　down　and　in；　as　if　he　were　going　to　whisper　in　her　ear；　and　
letting　his　lips　touch　the　arch　of　her　throat。　　Imagining　how　the　hot　flow　of　her　pulse　
beneath　the　fine　skin　would　feel　under　his　mouth？　
I　kicked　his　chair。　
He　met　my　gaze　for　a　minute；　and　then　looked　down。　　I　could　hear　shame　and　
rebellion　war　in　his　head。　
〃Sorry；〃　Jasper　muttered。　
I　shrugged。　
〃You　weren't　going　to　do　anything；〃　Alice　murmured　to　him；　soothing　his　
chagrin。　　〃I　could　see　that。〃　
I　fought　back　the　grimace　that　would　give　her　lie　away。　　We　had　to　stick　together；　
Alice　and　I。　　It　wasn't　easy；　hearing　voices　or　seeing　visions　of　the　future。　　Both　freaks　
among　those　who　were　already　freaks。　　We　protected　each　other's　secrets。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
4　

〃It　helps　a　little　if　you　think　of　them　as　people；〃　Alice　suggested；　her　high；　
musical　voice　too　fast　for　human　ears　to　understand；　if　any　had　been　close　enough　to　
hear。　　〃Her　name　is　Whitney。　　She　has　a　baby　sister　she　adores。　　Her　mother　invited　Esme　
to　that　garden　party；　do　you　remember？〃　
〃I　know　who　she　is；〃　Jasper　said　curtly。　　He　turned　away　to　stare　out　one　of　the　
small　windows　that　were　spaced　just　under　the　eaves　around　the　long　room。　　His　tone　
ended　the　conversation。　
He　would　have　to　hunt　tonight。　It　was　ridiculous　to　take　risks　like　this；　trying　to　
test　his　strength；　to　build　his　endurance。　　Jasper　should　just　accept　his　limitations　and　
work　within　them。　　His　former　habits　were　not　conducive　to　our　chosen　lifestyle；　he　
shouldn't　push　himself　in　this　way。　
Alice　sighed　silently　and　stood；　taking　her　tray　of　food—her　prop；　as　it　were—　
with　her　and　leaving　him　alone。　　She　knew　when　he'd　had　enough　of　her　encouragement。　
Though　Rosalie　and　Emmett　were　more　flagrant　about　their　relationship；　it　was　Alice　and　
Jasper　who　knew　each　other's　every　mood　as　well　as　their　own。　　As　if　they　could　read　
minds；　too—only　just　each　other's。　
Edward　Cullen。　
Reflex　reaction。　　I　turned　to　the　sound　of　my　name　being　called；　though　it　wasn't　
being　called；　just　thought。　
My　eyes　locked　for　a　small　portion　of　a　second　with　a　pair　of　wide；　chocolate…　
brown　human　eyes　set　in　a　pale；　heart…shaped　face。　　I　knew　the　face；　though　I'd　never　
seen　it　myself　before　this　moment。　　It　had　been　foremost　in　every　human　head　today。　　The　
new　student；　Isabella　Swan。　　Daughter　of　the　town's　chief　of　police；　brought　to　live　here　
by　some　new　custody　situation。　　Bella。　　She'd　corrected　everyone　who'd　used　her　full　
name？　
I　looked　away；　bored。　　It　took　me　a　second　to　realize　that　she　had　not　been　the　one　
to　think　my　name。　
Of　course　she's　already　crushing　on　the　Cullens；　I　heard　the　first　thought　
continue。　
Now　I　recognized　the　'voice。'　　Jessica　Stanley—it　had　been　a　while　since　she'd　
bothered　me　with　her　internal　chatter。　　What　a　relief　it　had　been　when　she'd　gotten　over　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
5　

her　misplaced　infatuation。　　It　used　to　be　nearly　impossible　to　escape　her　constant；　
ridiculous　daydreams。　　I'd　wished；　at　the　time；　that　I　could　explain　to　her　exactly　what　
would　have　happened　if　my　lips；　and　the　teeth　behind　them；　had　gotten　anywhere　near　
her。　　That　would　have　silenced　those　annoying　fantasies。　　The　thought　of　her　reaction　
almost　made　me　smile。　
Fat　lot　of　good　it　will　do　her；　Jessica　went　on。　　She's　really　not　even　pretty。　　I　
don't　know　why　Eric　is　staring　so　much？or　Mike。　
She　winced　mentally　on　the　last　name。　　Her　new　infatuation；　the　generically　
popular　Mike　Newton；　was　completely　oblivious　to　her。　　Apparently；　he　was　not　as　
oblivious　to　the　new　girl。　　Like　the　child　with　the　shiny　object　again。　　This　put　a　mean　
edge　to　Jessica's　thoughts；　though　she　was　outwardly　cordial　to　the　newcomer　as　she　
explained　to　her　the　commonly　held　knowledge　about　my　family。　　The　new　student　must　
have　asked　about　us。　
Everyone's　looking　at　me　today；　too；　Jessica　thought　smugly