a journey in other worlds-第54节

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himself　walking　in　the　streets　of　his　native　city。　　It　was
spring；　and　the　trees　were　white　with　buds。　　The　long　shadows　of
the　late　afternoon　stretched　across　the　way；　but　the　clear　sky
gave　indication　of　prolonged　twilight；　and　the　air　was　warm　and
balmy。　　Nature　was　filled　with　life；　and　seemed　to　be　proclaiming
that　the　cold　was　past。
　　　
As　he　moved　along　the　street　he　met　a　funeral　procession。
　　　
〃What　a　pity；〃　he　thought；　〃a　man　should　die；　with　summer　so　near
at　hand！〃
　　　
He　was　also　surprised　at　the　keenness　of　his　sight；　for；　inclosed
in　each　man's　body；　he　saw　the　outline　of　his　soul。　　But　the　dead
man's　body　was　empty；　like　a　cage　without　a　bird。　　He　also　read
the　thoughts　in　their　minds。
　　　
〃Now；〃　said　a　large　man　in　the　carriage　next　the　hearse；　〃I　may
win　her；　since　she　is　a　widow。〃
　　　
The　widow　herself　kept　thinking：　　〃Would　it　had　been　I！　　His　life
was　essential　to　the　children；　while　I　should　scarcely　have　been
missed。　　I　wish　I　had　no　duties　here；　and　might　follow　him　now。〃
　　　
While　pondering　on　these　things；　he　reached　Sylvia's　house；　and
went　into　the　little　room　in　which　he　had　so　often　seen　her。　　The
warm　southwesterly　breeze　blew　through　the　open　windows；　and　far
beyond　Central　Park　the　approaching　sunset　promised　to　be
beautiful。　　The　table　was　covered　with　flowers；　and　though　he　had
often　seen　that　variety；　he　had　never　before　noticed　the
marvellous　combinations　of　colours；　while　the　room　was　filled
with　a　thousand　delicious　perfumes。　　The　thrush　hanging　in　the
window　sang　divinely；　and　in　a　silver　frame　he　saw　a　likeness　of
himself。
　　　
〃I　have　always　loved　this　room；〃　he　thought；　〃but　it　seems　to　me
now　like　heaven。〃
　　　
He　sat　down　in　an　arm…chair　from　force　of　habit；　to　await　his
fiancee。
　　　
〃Oh；　for　a　walk　with　Sylvia　by　twilight！〃　his　thoughts　ran　on；
〃for　she　need　not　be　at　home　again　till　after　seven。〃
　　　
Presently　he　heard　the　soft　rustle　of　her　dress；　and　rose　to　meet
her。　　Though　she　looked　in　his　direction；　she　did　not　seem　to　see
him；　and　walked　past　him　to　the　window。　　She　was　the　picture　of
loveliness　silhouetted　against　the　sky。　　He　went　towards　her；　and
gazed　into　her　deep…sea　eyes；　which　had　a　far…away　expression。　
She　turned；　went　gracefully　to　the　mantelpiece；　and　took　a
photograph　of　herself　from　behind　the　clock。　　On　its　back　Ayrault
had　scrawled　a　boyish　verse　composed　by　himself；　which　ran：

　　　　　　　　　　　〃My　divine；　most　ideal　Sylvia；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　O　vision；　with　eyes　so　blue；
　　　　　　　　　　　'Tis　in　the　highest　degree　consequential；
　　　　　　　　　　　To　my　existence　in　fact　essential；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　That　I　should　be　loved　by　you。〃

As　she　read　and　reread　those　lines；　with　his　whole　soul　he
yearned　to　have　her　look　at　him。　　He　watched　the　colour　come　and
go　in　her　clear；　bright　complexion；　and　was　rejoiced　to　see　in
her　the　personification　of　activity　and　health。　　Beneath　his　own
effusion　on　the　photograph　he　saw　something　written　in　pencil；　in
the　hand　he　knew　so　well：

　　　　　　　〃Did　you　but　know　how　I　love　you；
　　　　　　　　　　　No　more　silly　things　would　you　ask。
　　　　　　　With　my　whole　heart　and　soul　I　adore　you
　　　　　　　　　　　Idiot！　goose！　bombast！〃

And　as　she　glanced　at　it；　these　thoughts　crossed　her　mind：　　〃I
shall　never　call　you　such　names　again。　　How　much　I　shall　have　to
tell　you！　　It　is　provoking　that　you　stay　away　so　long。〃

He　came　still　nearerso　near；　in　fact；　that　he　could　hear　the
beating　of　her　heartbut　she　still　seemed　entirely　unconscious
of　his　presence。　　Losing　his　reserve　and　self…control；　he
impulsively　grasped　at　her　hands；　then　fell　on　his　knees；　and
then；　dumfounded；　struggled　to　his　feet。　　Her　hands　seemed　to
slip　through　his；　he　was　not　able　to　touch　her；　and　she　was　still
unaware　of　his　presence。
　　　
Suddenly　a　whole　flood　of　light　and　the　truth　burst　upon　him。　　He
had　passed　painlessly　and　unconsciously　from　the　dreamland　of
Saturn　to　the　shadowland　of　eternity。　　The　mystery　was　solved。　
Like　the　dead　bishop；　he　had　become　a　free　spirit。　　His　prayer
was　answered；　and　his　body；　struck　by　lightning；　lay　far　away　on
that　great　ringed　planet。　　How　he　longed　to　take　in　his　arms　the
girl　who　had　promised　herself　to　him；　and　who；　he　now　saw；　loved
him　with　her　whole　heart；　but　he　was　only　an　immaterial　spirit；
lighter　even　than　the　ether　of　space；　and　the　unchangeable　laws
of　the　universe　seemed　to　him　but　the　irony　of　fate。　　As　a
spirit；　he　was　intangible　and　invisible　to　those　in　the　flesh；
and　likewise　they　were　beyond　his　control。　　The　tragedy　of　life
then　dawned　upon　him；　and　the　awful　results　of　death　made
themselves　felt。　　He　glanced　at　Sylvia。　　On　coming　in　she　had
looked　radiantly　happy；　now　she　seemed　depressed；　and　even　the
bird　stopped　singing。
　　　
〃Oh；〃　he　thought；　〃could　I　but　return　to　life　for　one　hour；　to
tell　her　how　incessantly　she　has　been　in　my　thoughts；　and　how　I
love　her！　　Death；　to　the　aged；　is　no　lossin　fact；　a
blessingbut　now！〃　and　he　sobbed　mentally　in　the　anguish　of　his
soul。　　If　he　could　but　communicate　with　her；　he　thought；　but　he
remembered　what　the　departed　bishop　had　said；　that　it　would　take
most　men　centuries　to　do　this；　and　that　others　could　never　learn。　
By　that　time　she；　too；　would　be　dead；　perhaps　having　been　the
wife　of　some　one　else；　and　he　felt　a　sense　of　jealousy　even
beyond　the　grave。　　Throwing　himself　upon　a　rug　on　the　floor；　in　a
paroxysm　of　distress；　he　gazed　at　Sylvia。
　　　
〃Oh；　horrible　mockery！〃　he　thought；　thinking　of　the　spirit。　　〃He
gave　me　worse　than　a　stone　when　I　asked　for　bread；　for；　in　place
of　freedom；　he　sent　me　death。　　Could　I　but　be　alive　again　for　a
few　moments！〃　　But；　with　a　bitter　smile；　he　again　remembered　the
words　of　the　bishop；　〃What　would　a　soul　in　hell　not　give　for　but
one　hour　on　earth？〃
　　　
Sylvia　had　seated　herself　on　a　small　sofa；　on　which；　and　next　to
her；　he　had　so　often　sat。　　Her　gentle　eyes　had　a　thoughtful　look；
while　her　face　was　the　personification　of　intelligence　and
beauty。　　She　occasionally　glanced　at　his　photograph；　which　she
held　in　her　hand。
　　　
〃Sylvia；　Sylvia！〃　he　suddenly　cried；　rising　to　his　knees　at　her
feet。　　〃I　love；　I　adore　you！　　It　was　my　longing　to　be　with　you
that　brought　me　here。　　I　know　you　can　neither　see　nor　hear　me；
but　cannot　your　soul　commune　with　mine？〃
　　　
〃Is　Dick　here？〃　cried　Sylvia；　becoming　deadly　pale　and　getting
up；　〃or　am　I　losing　my　reason？〃
　　　
Seeing　that　she　was　distressed　by　the　power　of　his　mind；　Ayrault
once　more　sank　to　the　floor；　burying　his　face　in　his　hands。
　　　
Unable　to　endure　this　longer；　and　feeling　as　if　his　heart　must
break；　he　rushed　out　into　the　street；　wishing　he　might　soothe　his
anguish　with　a　hypodermic　injection　of　morphine；　and　that　he　had
a　body　with　which　to　divert　and　suppress　his　soul。
　　　
Night　had　fallen；　and　the　electric　lamps　cast　their　white　rays　on
the　ground；　while　the　stars　overhead　shone　in　their　eternal
serenity　and　calm。　　Then　was　it　once　more　brought　home　to　him
that　he　was　a　spirit；　for　darkness　and　light　were　alike；　and　he
felt　the　beginning　of　that　sense　of　prescience　of　which　the
bishop　had　spoken。　　Passing　through　the　houses　of　some　of　the
clubs　to　which　he　belonged；　he　saw　his　name　still　upon　the　list
of　members；　and　then　he　went　to　the　places　of　amusement　he　knew
so　well。　　On　all　sides　were　familiar　faces；　but　what　interested
him　most　was　the　great　division　incessantly　going　on。　　Here　were
jolly　people　enjoying　life　and　playing　cards；　who；　his　foresight
showed　him；　would　in　less　than　a　year　be　under　ground　like
Mercutio；　in　〃Romeo　and　Juliet；〃　to…day　known　as　merry　fellows；
who　to…morrow　would　be　grave　men。
　　　
While　his　eyes　beheld　the　sun；　he　had　imagined　the　air　felt　warm
and　balmy。　　He　now　saw　that　this　had　been　a　hallucination；　for　he
was　chilled　through　and　through。　　He　also　perceived　that　be　cast
no　shadow；　and　that　no　one　observed　his　presence。　　He；　on　the
other　hand；　saw　not　only　the　air　as　it　entered　and　left　his
friends'　lungs；　but　also　the　substance　of　their　brains；　and　the
seeds　of　disease　and　death；　whose　presence　they　themselves　did
not　even　suspect；　and　the　seventy…five　per　cent　of　water　in　their
bodies；　making　them　appear　like　sacks　of　liquid。　　In　some　he　saw
the　germs　of　consumption；　in　others；　affections　of　the　heart。　　In
all；　he　saw　the　incessant　struggle　between　the　healthy
blood…cells　and　the　malignant；　omnipresent　bacilli　that　the　cells
were　trying　to　overcome。　　Many　men　and　women　he　saw　were　in　love；
and　he　could　tell　what　all　were　about　to　do。　　Oh；　the　secrets
that　were　revealed；　while　the　motives　for　acts　were　now　laid　bare
that　till　then　he　had　misunderstood！　　He　had　often　heard　the　old
saying；　that　if　every　person　in　a　ball…room　could　read　the
thoughts　of　the　rest；　the　ball　would　seem　a　travesty　on
enjoyment；　rather　than　real　pleasure；　and　now　he　perceived　its
force。　　He　also　noticed　that　many　were　better　than　he　had
supposed；　and　were　trying；　in　a　blundering　but　persevering　way；
to　obey　their　consciences。　　He　saw　some　unselfish　thoughts　and
acts。　　Many　things　that　he　had　attributed　to　irresolution　or
inconsistency；　he　perceived　were　in　reality　self…　sacrifice。　　He
went　on　in　frantic　disquiet；　distance　no　longer　being　of
conse