a dream of armageddom-第3节

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〃He　glanced　at　her；　as　though　almost　he　would　appeal　to　her。　

Then　he　asked　me　suddenly　if　I　had　heard　of　a　great　and　avenging

declaration　that　Evesham　had　made？　　Now；　Evesham　had　always　before

been　the　man　next　to　myself　in　the　leadership　of　that　great　party

in　the　north。　　He　was　a　forcible；　hard；　and　tactless　man；　and　only

I　had　been　able　to　control　and　soften　him。　　It　was　on　his　account

even　more　than　my　own；　I　think；　that　the　others　had　been　so

dismayed　at　my　retreat。　　So　this　question　about　what　he　had　done

reawakened　my　old　interest　in　the　life　I　had　put　aside　just　for

a　moment。



〃'I　have　taken　no　heed　of　any　news　for　many　days；'　I　said。　

'What　has　Evesham　been　saying？'



〃And　with　that　the　man　began；　nothing　loth；　and　I　must　confess

even　I　was　struck　by　Evesham's　reckless　folly　in　the　wild　and

threatening　words　he　had　used。　　And　this　messenger　they　had　sent　to

me　not　only　told　me　of　Evesham's　speech；　but　went　on　to　ask　counsel

and　to　point　out　what　need　they　had　of　me。　　While　he　talked；　my

lady　sat　a　little　forward　and　watched　his　face　and　mine。



〃My　old　habits　of　scheming　and　organising　reasserted

themselves。　　I　could　even　see　myself　suddenly　returning　to　the

north；　and　all　the　dramatic　effect　of　it。　　All　that　this　man　said

witnessed　to　the　disorder　of　the　party　indeed；　but　not　to　its

damage。　　I　should　go　back　stronger　than　I　had　come。　　And　then　I

thought　of　my　lady。　　You　seehow　can　I　tell　you？　　There　were

certain　peculiarities　of　our　relationshipas　things　are　I　need　not

tell　you　about　thatwhich　would　render　her　presence　with　me

impossible。　　I　should　have　had　to　leave　her；　indeed；　I　should　have

had　to　renounce　her　clearly　and　openly；　if　I　was　to　do　all　that　I

could　do　in　the　north。　　And　the　man　knew　that；　even　as　he　talked　to

her　and　me；　knew　it　as　well　as　she　did；　that　my　steps　to　duty

werefirst；　separation；　then　abandonment。　　At　the　touch　of　that

thought　my　dream　of　a　return　was　shattered。　　I　turned　on　the　man

suddenly；　as　he　was　imagining　his　eloquence　was　gaining　ground　with

me。



〃'What　have　I　to　do　with　these　things　now？'　I　said。　　'I　have

done　with　them。　　Do　you　think　I　am　coquetting　with　your　people　in

coming　here？'



〃'No；'　he　said。　　'But'



〃'Why　　cannot　you　leave　me　alone。　　I　have　done　with　these

things。　　I　have　ceased　to　be　anything　but　a　private　man。'



〃'Yes；'　he　answered。　　'But　have　you　thought？this　talk　of

war；　these　reckless　challenges；　these　wild　aggressions'



〃I　stood　up。



〃'No；'　I　cried。　　'I　won't　hear　you。　　I　took　count　of　all　those

things；　I　weighed　themand　I　have　come　away。'



〃He　seemed　to　consider　the　possibility　of　persistence。　　He

looked　from　me　to　where　the　lady　sat　regarding　us。



〃'War；'　he　said；　as　if　he　were　speaking　to　himself；　and　then

turned　slowly　from　me　and　walked　away。



〃I　stood；　caught　in　the　whirl　of　thoughts　his　appeal　had　set

going。



〃I　heard　my　lady's　voice。



〃'Dear；'　she　said；　'but　if　they　had　need　of　you'



〃She　did　not　finish　her　sentence；　she　let　it　rest　there。　　I

turned　to　her　sweet　face；　and　the　balance　of　my　mood　swayed　and

reeled。



〃'They　want　me　only　to　do　the　thing　they　dare　not　do

themselves；'　I　said。　　'If　they　distrust　Evesham　they　must　settle

with　him　themselves。'



〃She　looked　at　me　doubtfully。



〃'But　war'　she　said。



〃I　saw　a　doubt　on　her　face　that　I　had　seen　before；　a　doubt　of

herself　and　me；　the　first　shadow　of　the　discovery　that；　seen

strongly　and　completely；　must　drive　us　apart　for　ever。



〃Now；　I　was　an　older　mind　than　hers；　and　I　could　sway　her　to

this　belief　or　that。



〃'My　dear　one；'　I　said；　'you　must　not　trouble　over　these

things。　　There　will　be　no　war。　　Certainly　there　will　be　no　war。　

The　age　of　wars　is　past。　　Trust　me　to　know　the　justice　of　this

case。　　They　have　no　right　upon　me；　dearest；　and　no　one　has　a　right

upon　me。　　I　have　been　free　to　choose　my　life；　and　I　have　chosen

this。'



〃'But　war；'　she　said。



〃I　sat　down　beside　her。　　I　put　an　arm　behind　her　and　took　her

hand　in　mine。　　I　set　myself　to　drive　that　doubt　awayI　set　myself

to　fill　her　mind　with　pleasant　things　again。　　I　lied　to　her；　and　in

lying　to　her　I　lied　also　to　myself。　　And　she　was　only　too　ready　to

believe　me；　only　too　ready　to　forget。



〃Very　soon　the　shadow　had　gone　again；　and　we　were　hastening　to

our　bathing…place　in　the　Grotta　del　Bovo　Marino；　where　it　was　our

custom　to　bathe　every　day。　　We　swam　and　splashed　one　another；　and

in　that　buoyant　water　I　seemed　to　become　something　lighter　and

stronger　than　a　man。　　And　at　last　we　came　out　dripping　and

rejoicing　and　raced　among　the　rocks。　　And　then　I　put　on　a　dry

bathing…dress；　and　we　sat　to　bask　in　the　sun；　and　presently　I

nodded；　resting　my　head　against　her　knee；　and　she　put　her　hand　upon

my　hair　and　stroked　it　softly　and　I　dozed。　　And　behold！　as　it

were　with　the　snapping　of　the　string　of　a　violin；　I　was　awakening；

and　I　was　in　my　own　bed　in　Liverpool；　in　the　life　of　to…day。



〃Only　for　a　time　I　could　not　believe　that　all　these　vivid

moments　had　been　no　more　than　the　substance　of　a　dream。



〃In　truth；　I　could　not　believe　it　a　dream　for　all　the　sobering

reality　of　things　about　me。　　I　bathed　and　dressed　as　it　were　by

habit；　and　as　I　shaved　I　argued　why　I　of　all　men　should　leave　the

woman　I　loved　to　go　back　to　fantastic　politics　in　the　hard　and

strenuous　north。　　Even　if　Evesham　did　force　the　world　back　to　war；

what　was　that　to　me？　　I　was　a　man　with　the　heart　of　a　man；　and　why

should　I　feel　the　responsibility　of　a　deity　for　the　way　the　world

might　go？



〃You　know　that　is　not　quite　the　way　I　think　about　affairs；

about　my　real　affairs。　　I　am　a　solicitor；　you　know；　with　a　point　of

view。



〃The　vision　was　so　real；　you　must　understand；　so　utterly

unlike　a　dream　that　I　kept　perpetually　recalling　little　irrelevant

details；　even　the　ornament　of　the　book…cover　that　lay　on　my　wife's

sewing…machine　in　the　breakfast…room　recalled　with　the　utmost

vividness　the　gilt　line　that　ran　about　the　seat　in　the　alcove　where

I　had　talked　with　the　messenger　from　my　deserted　party。　　Have　you

ever　heard　of　a　dream　that　had　a　quality　like　that？〃



〃Like？〃



〃So　that　afterwards　you　remembered　little　details　you　had

forgotten。〃



I　thought。　　I　had　never　noticed　the　point　before；　but　he　was

right。



〃Never；〃　I　said。　　〃That　is　what　you　never　seem　to　do　with

dreams。〃



〃No；〃　he　answered。　　〃But　that　is　just　what　I　did。　　I　am　a

solicitor；　you　must　understand；　in　Liverpool；　and　I　could　not　help

wondering　what　the　clients　and　business　people　I　found　myself

talking　to　in　my　office　would　think　if　I　told　them　suddenly　I　was

in　love　with　a　girl　who　would　be　born　a　couple　of　hundred　years　or

so　hence；　and　worried　about　the　politics　of　my　great…great…great…

grandchildren。　　I　was　chiefly　busy　that　day　negotiating　a

ninety…nine…year　building　lease。　　It　was　a　private　builder　in　a

hurry；　and　we　wanted　to　tie　him　in　every　possible　way。　　I　had　an

interview　with　him；　and　he　showed　a　certain　want　of　temper　that

sent　me　to　bed　still　irritated。　　That　night　I　had　no　dream。　　Nor

did　I　dream　the　next　night；　at　least；　to　remember。



〃Something　of　that　intense　reality　of　conviction　vanished。　　I

began　to　feel　sure　it　was　a　dream。　　And　then　it　came　again。



〃When　the　dream　came　again；　nearly　four　days　later；　it　was

very　different。　　I　think　it　certain　that　four　days　had　also　elapsed

in　the　dream。　　Many　things　had　happened　in　the　north；　and　the

shadow　of　them　was　back　again　between　us；　and　this　time　it　was　not

so　easily　dispelled。　　I　began　I　know　with　moody　musings。　　Why；　in

spite　of　all；　should　I　go　back；　go　back　for　all　the　rest　of　my　days

to　toil　and　stress；　insults　and　perpetual　dissatisfaction；　simply

to　save　hundreds　of　millions　of　common　people；　whom　I　did　not　love；

whom　too　often　I　could　do　no　other　than　despise；　from　the　stress

and　anguish　of　war　and　infinite　misrule？　　And　after　all　I　might

fail。　　They　all　sought　their　own　narrow　ends；　and　why　should　not

Iwhy　should　not　I　also　live　as　a　man？　　And　out　of　such　thoughts

her　voice　summoned　me；　and　I　lifted　my　eyes。



I　found　myself　awake　and　walking。　　We　had　come　out　above　the

Pleasure　City；　we　were　near　the　summit　of　Monte　Solaro　and　looking

towards　the　bay。　　It　was　the　late　afternoon　and　very　clear。　　Far

away　to　the　left　Ischia　hung　in　a　golden　haze　between　sea　and　sky；

and　Naples　was　coldly　white　against　the　hills；　and　before　us　was

Vesuvius　with　a　tall　and　slender　streamer　feathering　at　last

towards　the　south；　and　the　ruins　of　Torre　dell'　Annunziata　and

Castellammare　glittering　and　near。〃



I　interrupted　suddenly：　〃You　have　been　to　Capri；　of　course？〃



〃Only　in　this　dream；〃　he　said；　〃only　in　this　dream。　　All

across　the　bay　beyond　Sorrento　were　the　floating　palaces　of　the

Pleasure　City　moored　and　chained。　　And　northward　were　the　broad

floating　stages　that　received　the　aeroplanes。　　Aeroplanes　fell　out

of　the　s