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told　him。



〃Have　you　seen　him　since？〃



〃Since　the　night　in　the　Park？　　No；　not　once。〃



〃Oh；　what　a　cad！〃　said　Mr。　Mudge。







CHAPTER　XX







It　was　not　till　the　end　of　October　that　she　saw　Captain　Everard

again；　and　on　that　occasionthe　only　one　of　all　the　series　on

which　hindrance　had　been　so　utterno　communication　with　him　proved

possible。　　She　had　made　out　even　from　the　cage　that　it　was　a

charming　golden　day：　　a　patch　of　hazy　autumn　sunlight　lay　across

the　sanded　floor　and　also；　higher　up；　quickened　into　brightness　a

row　of　ruddy　bottled　syrups。　　Work　was　slack　and　the　place　in

general　empty；　the　town；　as　they　said　in　the　cage；　had　not　waked

up；　and　the　feeling　of　the　day　likened　itself　to　something　than　in

happier　conditions　she　would　have　thought　of　romantically　as　Saint

Martin's　summer。　　The　counter…clerk　had　gone　to　his　dinner；　she

herself　was　busy　with　arrears　of　postal　jobs；　in　the　midst　of　which

she　became　aware　that　Captain　Everard　had　apparently　been　in　the

shop　a　minute　and　that　Mr。　Buckton　had　already　seized　him。



He　had　as　usual　half　a　dozen　telegrams；　and　when　he　saw　that　she

saw　him　and　their　eyes　met　he　gave；　on　bowing　to　her；　an

exaggerated　laugh　in　which　she　read　a　new　consciousness。　　It　was　a

confession　of　awkwardness；　it　seemed　to　tell　her　that　of　course　he

knew　he　ought　better　to　have　kept　his　head；　ought　to　have　been

clever　enough　to　wait；　on　some　pretext；　till　he　should　have　found

her　free。　　Mr。　Buckton　was　a　long　time　with　him；　and　her　attention

was　soon　demanded　by　other　visitors；　so　that　nothing　passed　between

them　but　the　fulness　of　their　silence。　　The　look　she　took　from　him

was　his　greeting；　and　the　other　one　a　simple　sign　of　the　eyes　sent

her　before　going　out。　　The　only　token　they　exchanged　therefore　was

his　tacit　assent　to　her　wish　that　since　they　couldn't　attempt　a

certain　frankness　they　should　attempt　nothing　at　all。　　This　was　her

intense　preference；　she　could　be　as　still　and　cold　as　any　one　when

that　was　the　sole　solution。



Yet　more　than　any　contact　hitherto　achieved　these　counted　instants

struck　her　as　marking　a　step：　　they　were　built　sojust　in　the　mere

flashon　the　recognition　of　his　now　definitely　knowing　what　it　was

she　would　do　for　him。　　The　〃anything；　anything〃　she　had　uttered　in

the　Park　went　to　and　fro　between　them　and　under　the　poked…out　china

that　interposed。　　It　had　all　at　last　even　put　on　the　air　of　their

not　needing　now　clumsily　to　manoeuvre　to　converse：　　their　former

little　postal　make…believes；　the　intense　implications　of　questions

and　answers　and　change；　had　become　in　the　light　of　the　personal

fact；　of　their　having　had　their　moment；　a　possibility　comparatively

poor。　　It　was　as　if　they　had　met　for　all　timeit　exerted　on　their

being　in　presence　again　an　influence　so　prodigious。　　When　she

watched　herself；　in　the　memory　of　that　night；　walk　away　from　him　as

if　she　were　making　an　end；　she　found　something　too　pitiful　in　the

primness　of　such　a　gait。　　Hadn't　she　precisely　established　on　the

part　of　each　a　consciousness　that　could　end　only　with　death？



It　must　be　admitted　that　in　spite　of　this　brave　margin　an

irritation；　after　he　had　gone；　remained　with　her；　a　sense　that

presently　became　one　with　a　still　sharper　hatred　of　Mr。　Buckton；


who；　on　her　friend's　withdrawal；　had　retired　with　the　telegrams　to

the　sounder　and　left　her　the　other　work。　　She　knew　indeed　she

should　have　a　chance　to　see　them；　when　she　would；　on　file；　and　she

was　divided；　as　the　day　went　on；　between　the　two　impressions　of　all

that　was　lost　and　all　that　was　re…asserted。　　What　beset　her　above

all；　and　as　she　had　almost　never　known　it　before；　was　the　desire　to

bound　straight　out；　to　overtake　the　autumn　afternoon　before　it

passed　away　for　ever　and　hurry　off　to　the　Park　and　perhaps　be　with

him　there　again　on　a　bench。　　It　became　for　an　hour　a　fantastic

vision　with　her　that　he　might　just　have　gone　to　sit　and　wait　for

her。　　She　could　almost　hear　him；　through　the　tick　of　the　sounder；

scatter　with　his　stick；　in　his　impatience；　the　fallen　leaves　of

October。　　Why　should　such　a　vision　seize　her　at　this　particular

moment　with　such　a　shake？　　There　was　a　timefrom　four　to　five

when　she　could　have　cried　with　happiness　and　rage。



Business　quickened；　it　seemed；　toward　five；　as　if　the　town　did　wake

up；　she　had　therefore　more　to　do；　and　she　went　through　it　with

little　sharp　stampings　and　jerkings：　　she　made　the　crisp　postal…

orders　fairly　snap　while　she　breathed　to　herself　〃It's　the　last

daythe　last　day！〃　　The　last　day　of　what？　　She　couldn't　have　told。

All　she　knew　now　was　that　if　she　WERE　out　of　the　cage　she　wouldn't

in　the　least　have　minded；　this　time；　its　not　yet　being　dark。　　She

would　have　gone　straight　toward　Park　Chambers　and　have　hung　about

there　till　no　matter　when。　　She　would　have　waited；　stayed；　rung；

asked；　have　gone　in；　sat　on　the　stairs。　　What　the　day　was　the　last

of　was　probably；　to　her　strained　inner　sense；　the　group　of　golden

ones；　of　any　occasion　for　seeing　the　hazy　sunshine　slant　at　that

angle　into　the　smelly　shop；　of　any　range　of　chances　for　his　wishing

still　to　repeat　to　her　the　two　words　she　had　in　the　Park　scarcely

let　him　bring　out。　　〃See　heresee　here！〃the　sound　of　these　two

words　had　been　with　her　perpetually；　but　it　was　in　her　ears　to…day

without　mercy；　with　a　loudness　that　grew　and　grew。　　What　was　it

they　then　expressed？　what　was　it　he　had　wanted　her　to　see？　　She

seemed；　whatever　it　was；　perfectly　to　see　it　nowto　see　that　if

she　should　just　chuck　the　whole　thing；　should　have　a　great　and

beautiful　courage；　he　would　somehow　make　everything　up　to　her。

When　the　clock　struck　five　she　was　on　the　very　point　of　saying　to

Mr。　Buckton　that　she　was　deadly　ill　and　rapidly　getting　worse。

This　announcement　was　on　her　lips；　and　she　had　quite　composed　the

pale　hard　face　she　would　offer　him：　　〃I　can't　stopI　must　go　home。

If　I　feel　better；　later　on；　I'll　come　back。　　I'm　very　sorry；　but　I

MUST　go。〃　　At　that　instant　Captain　Everard　once　more　stood　there；

producing　in　her　agitated　spirit；　by　his　real　presence；　the

strangest；　quickest　revolution。　　He　stopped　her　off　without　knowing

it；　and　by　the　time　he　had　been　a　minute　in　the　shop　she　felt

herself　saved。



That　was　from　the　first　minute　how　she　thought　of　it。　　There　were

again　other　persons　with　whom　she　was　occupied；　and　again　the

situation　could　only　be　expressed　by　their　silence。　　It　was

expressed；　of　a　truth；　in　a　larger　phrase　than　ever　yet；　for　her

eyes　now　spoke　to　him　with　a　kind　of　supplication。　　〃Be　quiet；　be

quiet！〃　they　pleaded；　and　they　saw　his　own　reply：　　〃I'll　do

whatever　you　say；　I　won't　even　look　at　yousee；　see！〃　　They　kept

conveying　thus；　with　the　friendliest　liberality；　that　they　wouldn't

look；　quite　positively　wouldn't。　　What　she　was　to　see　was　that　he

hovered　at　the　other　end　of　the　counter；　Mr。　Buckton's　end；　and

surrendered　himself　again　to　that　frustration。　　It　quickly　proved

so　great　indeed　that　what　she　was　to　see　further　was　how　he　turned

away　before　he　was　attended　to；　and　hung　off；　waiting；　smoking；

looking　about　the　shop；　how　he　went　over　to　Mr。　Cocker's　own

counter　and　appeared　to　price　things；　gave　in　fact　presently　two　or

three　orders　and　put　down　money；　stood　there　a　long　time　with　his

back　to　her；　considerately　abstaining　from　any　glance　round　to　see

if　she　were　free。　　It　at　last　came　to　pass　in　this　way　that　he　had

remained　in　the　shop　longer　than　she　had　ever　yet　known　to　do；　and

that；　nevertheless；　when　he　did　turn　about　she　could　see　him　time

himselfshe　was　freshly　taken　upand　cross　straight　to　her　postal

subordinate；　whom　some　one　else　had　released。　　He　had　in　his　hand

all　this　while　neither　letters　nor　telegrams；　and　now　that　he　was

close　to　herfor　she　was　close　to　the　counter…clerkit　brought

her　heart　into　her　mouth　merely　to　see　him　look　at　her　neighbour

and　open　his　lips。　　She　was　too　nervous　to　bear　it。　　He　asked　for　a

Post…Office　Guide；　and　the　young　man　whipped　out　a　new　one；

whereupon　he　said　he　wished　not　to　purchase；　but　only　to　consult

one　a　moment；　with　which；　the　copy　kept　on　loan　being　produced；　he

once　more　wandered　off。



What　was　he　doing　to　her？　　What　did　he　want　of　her？　　Well；　it　was

just　the　aggravation　of　his　〃See　here！〃　　She　felt　at　this　moment

strangely　and　portentously　afraid　of　himhad　in　her　ears　the　hum

of　a　sense　that；　should　it　come　to　that　kind　of　tension；　she　must

fly　on　the　spot　to　Chalk　Farm。　　Mixed　with　her　dread　and　with　her

reflexion　was　the　idea　that；　if　he　wanted　her　so　much　as　he　seemed

to　show；　it　might　be　after　all　simply　to　do　for　him　the　〃anything〃

she　had　promised；　the　〃everything〃　she　had　thought　it　so　fine　to

bring　out　to　Mr。　Mudge。　　He　might　want　her　to　help　him；　might　have

some　particular　appeal；　though　indeed　his　manner　didn't　denote

thatdenoted　on　the　contrary　an　embarrassment；　an　indecision；

something　of　a　desire　not　so　much　to　be　helped　as　to　be　treated