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The¡¡Story¡¡of¡¡a¡¡Bad¡¡Boy

by¡¡Thomas¡¡Bailey¡¡Aldrich




Chapter¡¡One

In¡¡Which¡¡I¡¡Introduce¡¡Myself



This¡¡is¡¡the¡¡story¡¡of¡¡a¡¡bad¡¡boy¡£¡¡Well£»¡¡not¡¡such¡¡a¡¡very¡¡bad£»¡¡but¡¡a¡¡pretty¡¡bad¡¡boy£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡know£»¡¡for¡¡I¡¡am£»¡¡or¡¡rather¡¡I¡¡was£»¡¡that¡¡boy¡¡myself¡£

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Whenever¡¡a¡¡new¡¡scholar¡¡came¡¡to¡¡our¡¡school£»¡¡I¡¡used¡¡to¡¡confront¡¡him¡¡at¡¡recess¡¡with¡¡the¡¡following¡¡words£º¡¡¡¨My¡¡name's¡¡Tom¡¡Bailey£»¡¡what's¡¡your¡¡name£¿¡¨¡¡If¡¡the¡¡name¡¡struck¡¡me¡¡favorably£»¡¡I¡¡shook¡¡hands¡¡with¡¡the¡¡new¡¡pupil¡¡cordially£»¡¡but¡¡if¡¡it¡¡didn't£»¡¡I¡¡would¡¡turn¡¡on¡¡my¡¡heel£»¡¡for¡¡I¡¡was¡¡particular¡¡on¡¡this¡¡point¡£¡¡Such¡¡names¡¡as¡¡Higgins£»¡¡Wiggins£»¡¡and¡¡Spriggins¡¡were¡¡deadly¡¡affronts¡¡to¡¡my¡¡ear£»¡¡while¡¡Langdon£»¡¡Wallace£»¡¡Blake£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡like£»¡¡were¡¡passwords¡¡to¡¡my¡¡confidence¡¡and¡¡esteem¡£

Ah¡¡me£¡¡¡some¡¡of¡¡those¡¡dear¡¡fellows¡¡are¡¡rather¡¡elderly¡¡boys¡¡by¡¡this¡¡time¡­lawyers£»¡¡merchants£»¡¡sea¡­captains£»¡¡soldiers£»¡¡authors£»¡¡what¡¡not£¿¡¡Phil¡¡Adams¡¡£¨a¡¡special¡¡good¡¡name¡¡that¡¡Adams£©¡¡is¡¡consul¡¡at¡¡Shanghai£»¡¡where¡¡I¡¡picture¡¡him¡¡to¡¡myself¡¡with¡¡his¡¡head¡¡closely¡¡shaved¡­he¡¡never¡¡had¡¡too¡¡much¡¡hair¡­and¡¡a¡¡long¡¡pigtail¡¡banging¡¡down¡¡behind¡£¡¡He¡¡is¡¡married£»¡¡I¡¡hear£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡hope¡¡he¡¡and¡¡she¡¡that¡¡was¡¡Miss¡¡Wang¡¡Wang¡¡are¡¡very¡¡happy¡¡together£»¡¡sitting¡¡cross¡­legged¡¡over¡¡their¡¡diminutive¡¡cups¡¡of¡¡tea¡¡in¡¡a¡¡skyblue¡¡tower¡¡hung¡¡with¡¡bells¡£¡¡It¡¡is¡¡so¡¡I¡¡think¡¡of¡¡him£»¡¡to¡¡me¡¡he¡¡is¡¡henceforth¡¡a¡¡jewelled¡¡mandarin£»¡¡talking¡¡nothing¡¡but¡¡broken¡¡China¡£¡¡Whitcomb¡¡is¡¡a¡¡judge£»¡¡sedate¡¡and¡¡wise£»¡¡with¡¡spectacles¡¡balanced¡¡on¡¡the¡¡bridge¡¡of¡¡that¡¡remarkable¡¡nose¡¡which£»¡¡in¡¡former¡¡days£»¡¡was¡¡so¡¡plentifully¡¡sprinkled¡¡with¡¡freckles¡¡that¡¡the¡¡boys¡¡christened¡¡him¡¡Pepper¡¡Whitcomb¡£¡¡just¡¡to¡¡think¡¡of¡¡little¡¡Pepper¡¡Whitcomb¡¡being¡¡a¡¡judge£¡¡¡What¡¡would¡¡be¡¡do¡¡to¡¡me¡¡now£»¡¡I¡¡wonder£»¡¡if¡¡I¡¡were¡¡to¡¡sing¡¡out¡¡¡¨Pepper£¡¡¨¡¡some¡¡day¡¡in¡¡court£¿¡¡Fred¡¡Langdon¡¡is¡¡in¡¡California£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡native¡­wine¡¡business¡­he¡¡used¡¡to¡¡make¡¡the¡¡best¡¡licorice¡­water¡¡I¡¡ever¡¡tasted£¡¡¡Binny¡¡Wallace¡¡sleeps¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Old¡¡South¡¡Burying¡­Ground£»¡¡and¡¡Jack¡¡Harris£»¡¡too£»¡¡is¡¡dead¡­Harris£»¡¡who¡¡commanded¡¡us¡¡boys£»¡¡of¡¡old£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡famous¡¡snow¡­ball¡¡battles¡¡of¡¡Slatter's¡¡Hill¡£¡¡Was¡¡it¡¡yesterday¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡him¡¡at¡¡the¡¡head¡¡of¡¡his¡¡regiment¡¡on¡¡its¡¡way¡¡to¡¡join¡¡the¡¡shattered¡¡Army¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Potomac£¿¡¡Not¡¡yesterday£»¡¡but¡¡six¡¡years¡¡ago¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡at¡¡the¡¡battle¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Seven¡¡Pines¡£¡¡Gallant¡¡Jack¡¡Harris£»¡¡that¡¡never¡¡drew¡¡rein¡¡until¡¡he¡¡had¡¡dashed¡¡into¡¡the¡¡Rebel¡¡battery£¡¡¡So¡¡they¡¡found¡¡him¡­lying¡¡across¡¡the¡¡enemy's¡¡guns¡£

How¡¡we¡¡have¡¡parted£»¡¡and¡¡wandered£»¡¡and¡¡married£»¡¡and¡¡died£¡¡¡I¡¡wonder¡¡what¡¡has¡¡become¡¡of¡¡all¡¡the¡¡boys¡¡who¡¡went¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Temple¡¡Grammar¡¡School¡¡at¡¡Rivermouth¡¡when¡¡I¡¡was¡¡a¡¡youngster£¿¡¡¡¨All£»¡¡all¡¡are¡¡gone£»¡¡the¡¡old¡¡familiar¡¡faces£¡¡¨

It¡¡is¡¡with¡¡no¡¡ungentle¡¡hand¡¡I¡¡summon¡¡them¡¡back£»¡¡for¡¡a¡¡moment£»¡¡from¡¡that¡¡Past¡¡which¡¡has¡¡closed¡¡upon¡¡them¡¡and¡¡upon¡¡me¡£¡¡How¡¡pleasantly¡¡they¡¡live¡¡again¡¡in¡¡my¡¡memory£¡¡¡Happy£»¡¡magical¡¡Past£»¡¡in¡¡whose¡¡fairy¡¡atmosphere¡¡even¡¡Conway£»¡¡mine¡¡ancient¡¡foe£»¡¡stands¡¡forth¡¡transfigured£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡dreamy¡¡glory¡¡encircling¡¡his¡¡bright¡¡red¡¡hair£¡

With¡¡the¡¡old¡¡school¡¡formula¡¡I¡¡commence¡¡these¡¡sketches¡¡of¡¡my¡¡boyhood¡£¡¡My¡¡name¡¡is¡¡Tom¡¡Bailey£»¡¡what¡¡is¡¡yours£»¡¡gentle¡¡reader£¿¡¡I¡¡take¡¡for¡¡granted¡¡it¡¡is¡¡neither¡¡Wiggins¡¡nor¡¡Spriggins£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡we¡¡shall¡¡get¡¡on¡¡famously¡¡together£»¡¡and¡¡be¡¡capital¡¡friends¡¡forever¡£







Chapter¡¡Two

In¡¡Which¡¡I¡¡Entertain¡¡Peculiar¡¡Views



I¡¡was¡¡born¡¡at¡¡Rivermouth£»¡¡but£»¡¡before¡¡I¡¡had¡¡a¡¡chance¡¡to¡¡become¡¡very¡¡well¡¡acquainted¡¡with¡¡that¡¡pretty¡¡New¡¡England¡¡town£»¡¡my¡¡parents¡¡removed¡¡to¡¡New¡¡Orleans£»¡¡where¡¡my¡¡father¡¡invested¡¡his¡¡money¡¡so¡¡securely¡¡in¡¡the¡¡banking¡¡business¡¡that¡¡be¡¡was¡¡never¡¡able¡¡to¡¡get¡¡any¡¡of¡¡it¡¡out¡¡again¡£¡¡But¡¡of¡¡this¡¡hereafter¡£

I¡¡was¡¡only¡¡eighteen¡¡months¡¡old¡¡at¡¡the¡¡time¡¡of¡¡the¡¡removal£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡didn't¡¡make¡¡much¡¡difference¡¡to¡¡me¡¡where¡¡I¡¡was£»¡¡because¡¡I¡¡was¡¡so¡¡small£»¡¡but¡¡several¡¡years¡¡later£»¡¡when¡¡my¡¡father¡¡proposed¡¡to¡¡take¡¡me¡¡North¡¡to¡¡be¡¡educated£»¡¡I¡¡had¡¡my¡¡own¡¡peculiar¡¡views¡¡on¡¡the¡¡subject¡£¡¡I¡¡instantly¡¡kicked¡¡over¡¡the¡¡little¡¡Negro¡¡boy¡¡who¡¡happened¡¡to¡¡be¡¡standing¡¡by¡¡me¡¡at¡¡the¡¡moment£»¡¡and£»¡¡stamping¡¡my¡¡foot¡¡violently¡¡on¡¡the¡¡floor¡¡of¡¡the¡¡piazza£»¡¡declared¡¡that¡¡I¡¡would¡¡not¡¡be¡¡taken¡¡away¡¡to¡¡live¡¡among¡¡a¡¡lot¡¡of¡¡Yankees£¡

You¡¡see¡¡I¡¡was¡¡what¡¡is¡¡called¡¡¡¨a¡¡Northern¡¡man¡¡with¡¡Southern¡¡principles¡£¡¨¡¡I¡¡had¡¡no¡¡recollection¡¡of¡¡New¡¡England£º¡¡my¡¡earliest¡¡memories¡¡were¡¡connected¡¡with¡¡the¡¡South£»¡¡with¡¡Aunt¡¡Chloe£»¡¡my¡¡old¡¡Negro¡¡nurse£»¡¡and¡¡with¡¡the¡¡great¡¡ill¡­kept¡¡garden¡¡in¡¡the¡¡centre¡¡of¡¡which¡¡stood¡¡our¡¡house¡­a¡¡whitewashed¡¡stone¡¡house¡¡it¡¡was£»¡¡with¡¡wide¡¡verandas¡­shut¡¡out¡¡from¡¡the¡¡street¡¡by¡¡lines¡¡of¡¡orange£»¡¡fig£»¡¡and¡¡magnolia¡¡trees¡£¡¡I¡¡knew¡¡I¡¡was¡¡born¡¡at¡¡the¡¡North£»¡¡but¡¡hoped¡¡nobody¡¡would¡¡find¡¡it¡¡out¡£¡¡I¡¡looked¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡misfortune¡¡as¡¡something¡¡so¡¡shrouded¡¡by¡¡time¡¡and¡¡distance¡¡that¡¡maybe¡¡nobody¡¡remembered¡¡it¡£¡¡I¡¡never¡¡told¡¡my¡¡schoolmates¡¡I¡¡was¡¡a¡¡Yankee£»¡¡because¡¡they¡¡talked¡¡about¡¡the¡¡Yankees¡¡in¡¡such¡¡a¡¡scornful¡¡way¡¡it¡¡made¡¡me¡¡feel¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡quite¡¡a¡¡disgrace¡¡not¡¡to¡¡be¡¡born¡¡in¡¡Louisiana£»¡¡or¡¡at¡¡least¡¡in¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Border¡¡States¡£¡¡And¡¡this¡¡impression¡¡was¡¡strengthened¡¡by¡¡Aunt¡¡Chloe£»¡¡who¡¡said£»¡¡¡¨dar¡¡wasn't¡¡no¡¡gentl'men¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Norf¡¡no¡¡way£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡on¡¡one¡¡occasion¡¡terrified¡¡me¡¡beyond¡¡measure¡¡by¡¡declaring¡¡that£»¡¡¡¨if¡¡any¡¡of¡¡dem¡¡mean¡¡whites¡¡tried¡¡to¡¡git¡¡her¡¡away¡¡from¡¡marster£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡jes'gwine¡¡to¡¡knock¡¡'em¡¡on¡¡de¡¡head¡¡wid¡¡a¡¡gourd£¡¡¨

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To¡¡be¡¡frank£»¡¡my¡¡idea¡¡of¡¡the¡¡North¡¡was¡¡about¡¡as¡¡accurate¡¡as¡¡that¡¡entertained¡¡by¡¡the¡¡well¡­educated¡¡Englishmen¡¡of¡¡the¡¡present¡¡day¡¡concerning¡¡America¡£¡¡I¡¡supposed¡¡the¡¡inhabitants¡¡were¡¡divided¡¡into¡¡two¡¡classes¡­Indians¡¡and¡¡white¡¡people£»¡¡that¡¡the¡¡Indians¡¡occasionally¡¡dashed¡¡down¡¡on¡¡New¡¡York£»¡¡and¡¡scalped¡¡any¡¡woman¡¡or¡¡child¡¡£¨giving¡¡the¡¡preference¡¡to¡¡children£©¡¡whom¡¡they¡¡caught¡¡lingering¡¡in¡¡the¡¡outskirts¡¡after¡¡nightfall£»¡¡that¡¡the¡¡white¡¡men¡¡were¡¡either¡¡hunters¡¡or¡¡schoolmasters£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡winter¡¡pretty¡¡much¡¡all¡¡the¡¡year¡¡round¡£¡¡The¡¡prevailing¡¡style¡¡of¡¡architecture¡¡I¡¡took¡¡to¡¡be¡¡log¡­cabins¡£

With¡¡this¡¡delightful¡¡picture¡¡of¡¡Northern¡¡civilization¡¡in¡¡my¡¡eye£»¡¡the¡¡reader¡¡will¡¡easily¡¡understand¡¡my¡¡terror¡¡at¡¡the¡¡bare¡¡thought¡¡of¡¡being¡¡transported¡¡to¡¡Rivermouth¡¡to¡¡school£»¡¡and¡¡possibly¡¡will¡¡forgive¡¡me¡¡for¡¡kicking¡¡over¡¡little¡¡black¡¡Sam£»¡¡and¡¡otherwise¡¡misconducting¡¡myself£»¡¡when¡¡my¡¡father¡¡announced¡¡his¡¡determination¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡¡As¡¡for¡¡kicking¡¡little¡¡Sam¡­I¡¡always¡¡did¡¡that£»¡¡more¡¡or¡¡less¡¡gently£»¡¡when¡¡anything¡¡went¡¡wrong¡¡with¡¡me¡£

My¡¡father¡¡was¡¡greatly¡¡perplexed¡¡and¡¡troubled¡¡by¡¡this¡¡unusually¡¡violent¡¡outbreak£»¡¡and¡¡especially¡¡by¡¡the¡¡real¡¡consternation¡¡which¡¡be¡¡saw¡¡written¡¡in¡¡every¡¡line¡¡of¡¡my¡¡countenance¡£¡¡As¡¡little¡¡black¡¡Sam¡¡picked¡¡himself¡¡up£»¡¡my¡¡father¡¡took¡¡my¡¡hand¡¡in¡¡his¡¡and¡¡led¡¡me¡¡thoughtfully¡¡to¡¡the¡¡library¡£

I¡¡can¡¡see¡¡him¡¡now¡¡as¡¡he¡¡leaned¡¡back¡¡in¡¡the¡¡bamboo¡¡chair¡¡and¡¡questioned¡¡me¡£¡¡He¡¡appeared¡¡strangely¡¡agitated¡¡on¡¡learning¡¡the¡¡nature¡¡of¡¡my¡¡objections¡¡to¡¡going¡¡North£»¡¡and¡¡proceeded¡¡at¡¡once¡¡to¡¡knock¡¡down¡¡all¡¡my¡¡pine¡¡log¡¡houses£»¡¡and¡¡scatter¡¡all¡¡the¡¡Indian¡¡tribes¡¡with¡¡which¡¡I¡¡had¡¡populated¡¡the¡¡greater¡¡portion¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Eastern¡¡and¡¡Middle¡¡States¡£

¡¨Who¡¡on¡¡earth£»¡¡Tom£»¡¡has¡¡filled¡¡your¡¡brain¡¡with¡¡such¡¡silly¡¡stories£¿¡¨¡¡asked¡¡my¡¡father£»¡¡wiping¡¡the¡¡tears¡¡from¡¡his¡¡eyes¡£

¡¨Aunt¡¡Chloe£»¡¡sir£»¡¡she¡¡told¡¡me¡£¡¨

¡¨And¡¡you¡¡really¡¡thought¡¡your¡¡grandfather¡¡wore¡¡a¡¡blanket¡¡embroidered¡¡with¡¡beads£»¡¡and¡¡ornamented¡¡his¡¡leggins¡¡with¡¡the¡¡scalps¡¡of¡¡his¡¡enemies£¿¡¨

¡¨Well£»¡¡sir£»¡¡I¡¡didn't¡¡think¡¡that¡¡exactly¡£¡¨

¡¨Didn't¡¡think¡¡that¡¡exactly£¿¡¡Tom£»¡¡you¡¡will¡¡be¡¡the¡¡death¡¡of¡¡me¡£¡¨

He¡¡hid¡¡his¡¡face¡¡in¡¡his¡¡handkerchief£»¡¡and£»¡¡when¡¡he¡¡looked¡¡up£»¡¡he¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡have¡¡been¡¡suffering¡¡acutely¡£¡¡I¡¡was¡¡deeply¡¡moved¡¡myself£»¡¡though¡¡I¡¡did¡¡not¡¡clearly¡¡understand¡¡what¡¡I¡¡had¡¡said¡¡or¡¡done¡¡to¡¡cause¡¡him¡¡to¡¡feel¡¡so¡¡badly¡£¡¡Perhaps¡¡I¡¡had¡¡hurt¡¡his¡¡feelings¡¡by¡¡thinking¡¡it¡¡even¡¡possible¡¡that¡¡Grandfather¡¡Nutter¡¡was¡¡an¡¡Indian¡¡warrior¡£

My¡¡father¡¡devoted¡¡that¡¡evening¡¡and¡¡several¡¡subsequent¡¡evenings¡¡to¡¡giving¡¡me¡¡a¡¡clear¡¡and¡¡succinct¡¡account¡¡of¡¡New¡¡England£»¡¡its¡¡early¡¡struggles£»¡¡its¡¡progress£»¡¡and¡¡its¡¡present¡¡condition¡­faint¡¡and¡¡confused¡¡glimmerings¡¡of¡¡all¡¡which¡¡I¡¡had¡¡obtained¡¡at¡¡school£»¡¡where¡¡history¡¡had¡¡never¡¡been¡¡a¡¡favorite¡¡pursuit¡¡of¡¡mine¡£

I¡¡was¡¡no¡¡longer¡¡unwilling¡¡to¡¡go¡¡North£»¡¡on¡¡the¡¡contrary£»¡¡the¡¡proposed¡¡journey¡¡to¡¡a¡¡new¡¡world¡¡full¡¡of¡¡wonders¡¡kept¡¡me¡¡awake¡¡nights¡£¡¡I¡¡promised¡¡myself¡¡all¡¡sorts¡¡of¡¡fun¡¡and¡¡adventures£»¡¡though¡¡I¡¡was¡¡not¡¡entirely¡¡at¡¡rest¡¡in¡¡my¡¡mind¡¡touching¡¡the¡¡savages£»¡¡and¡¡secretly¡¡resolved¡¡to¡¡go¡¡on¡¡board¡¡the¡¡ship¡­the¡¡journey¡¡was¡¡to¡¡be¡¡made¡¡by¡¡sea¡­with¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡little¡¡brass¡¡pistol¡¡in¡¡my¡¡trousers¡­pocket£»¡¡in¡¡case¡¡of¡¡any¡¡di

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